All right. Everything is over! No more projects, no more exams... At leat for the next few months...

There're so much to blog about.. yet... Just didn't have the time to do so...

Before CNY...
I recall was superb busy... busy doing last minute of CSAS project edit... by the way... my peer apprasial was 4.4 and not 3.9 as was said by Ms Agnes Lee sia.. I think that person who was counting was trying to make some changes... -.-.. Otherwise why me but not others? LOL..

Anyway, luckily S encourage me to go find Ms Lee and check... But I smsed her ah... So... She actually went through and check everone's marks in the class too... Then, that's for school...

Back at home, clean up house and etc... get new clothes... it was preparation period...

For love, sadly... this year valentine was dearest termtest... we didn't celebrate... but we did had a make up after that... No presents... Just spending time... Hope she enjoy thou...


Then, it's CNY...
This year CNY was a a whole lot of shit. Didn't enjoy much. Due to upcomign exams, I didn't went out on the 3rd day of CNY... Stayed at home to study and good friend of mine came my house to teach me... Lucky got him to guide me through... Otherwise PCI could have been worse...

It was torturous to have exams with CNY man... It's like you can't get into focus and study well... However, after PCI paper... I really focus my UO2... Seriously hope that I could get a A... I never get a A before for my 5cu subject sia.. the most was B+ or otherwise B... and you know something... in poly... 2.5 marks away could be a grade difference.. 5 marks away could be a Z... it's all about the consistency and mental strength to focus daily and study hard for every test and quiz...


After exams...
Went out with R, J, S, S and W... J wants to eat new York sia.. But I remember it wasn't so nice... Anyway, it wasn't hala.. S can't eat... LOL.. so.. as what I initially suggested.. Muthu's Curry @ suntec..!

Oh mine... it's superb ok... the curry was seriously good.. we had the $30 fish head... and 5 of us ordered a side dish except for W.. It was worth it..! It's best that you eat in a group... if you're eating as a couple... then... it's be ex... and of course... you'll order a $20 fish.. which is a different grade of fish you see... So 5 is recommended and which include a girl.. Otherwise it wouldn't be enough.. LOL... Anyway, the bryani (not sure of spelling) rice wasn't that good... and it cost like $2.50 per person.. and it's not enough if you're a big eater.. it's like just 2 scoops? White rice cost $1.50 ehz.. and it'll be nice too I guess?

the malsa chicken was very good.. gravy is thick.. not spicy.. good taste of curry... and even if it's breast meat.. it's still tender and soft.. It's not like we say in dialect.. "sieap sieap" (tough) you know... chicken 65 (ordered by ruben) was great too... with the malsa gravy that i ordered... it was perfect!

The restaurant, i rate it 4/5. Anyway, my mum say go to the don't know what "Rist Coast Road"? Which was their first restaurant, would be cheaper? And they gave you those appetizer like the vege and etc... Not sure though... i'll check out more about it..

After which, we had bowling.. and W and I went home.. The rest of them go play Lan.. I was too tired already ah... Wanna be home and rest...

Anyway, i'll be updating my blog more often now.. 21 more days to final theory.. Must study liao sia.. zzz...

Anyway, this entry got lots of singlish and er... grammatical errors? So paiseh ah.. Next entry would be better... It's just another sharing session.. Must go makan and later go for driving liaoz... zzz... Byez....

I'm fine now. Hope things doesn't happen again.

It was so long since the last time I posted. So much to say, yet I have got no one to turn to. No one. This time, it’s broke up of a 3 years and 11 days relationship. So much of future that we thought about and planned. So many places and path we took. All came to a stop.

You were once sweet. You can go all the way to please me if I was angry for hours. Not now. U get agitated for little thing I do. No matter how inferior or scare I feel, I am still frank, faithful and no lies. This time, you lied.

A rule was made before the start of this relationship. No Lies. It’s simple, honest and truth. Then, there’ll be mutual trust. You knew it was on rocks, yet you still lied. Was it a way to make me listen? Or otherwise, should it be a better approach?

Haven’t I been a good enough boyfriend? Early morning to bring you to Chinese doctor, hopefully to correct your health as much as possible? Cooked for you when you were sick, help you with this and help you with that. Things changed and yet you didn’t notice. You don’t really bother about me a lot. Less care, less concern.

What do I mean? It doesn’t mean “have you taken your lunch”? When I was sick and fever, I companied for walks at shopping malls. You wanted to tried clothes, I disagreed. It wasn't a day for shopping. It was to talk and spend some quality time. To talk and share. However, come now, you say I don’t company you for shopping? Is that really so?

I wanted to taste your pineapple tarts once more… you always say you didn’t have time… is that really so? Then why do time spent with dogs is much more at home? Couldn’t the time be use for making tarts ma? When dogs were young, they needed extra care, I understood and you spent most of the time taking care of them. 6 dogs now, so how much could I expect more from you?

I just need your care and no lies. It is just that simple…

Let’s just split this relationship before and ever since poly life. Let’s think back and compare the treatment you have towards me. Why have I been so unreasonable? I have been all inside. I’m sorry, I couldn’t be any reasonable. I can’t think clearly anymore.

I put down my pride and ego. I understood the fact that a guy having too much of this, can hurt the girl a lot sometimes. I’m happy when you do well now too. Seriously happy. I could fully understand the sharing of joy in a relationship.

You treated it for granted. I put down my pride, you forget to respect it. You hurt it with your sarcasm, your lie and your excuses. If you were sarcastic, shouldn’t you already learn to be when I first knew you? Why only now and recently? Then come to tell me that your family upbringing. Is that an excuse or have you changed? Don’t you find that you’re finding more and more excuses for yourself? I never said all these.

Too close, too used to it. We tend to forget and treated what we have for granted. It has ended. Goodbye my angel. I miss those sweetness you once gave.

Oh well, exams are over and recently I had a class chalet. It was wonderful and enjoyable.

Pre-chalet mood was uncertainty which I experienced. I tell myself, it’s not going to be screwed this time. I went off early to meet SH for check in. Thanks a lot to him to make my class chalet a success. So like superman, I flew to pass Stingray to PS, drew money from my bank which belongs to the class and met did the check in plus inventory check. After meeting up with the rest, we checked in. I guess the first impression of the chalet was good. No doubt the place is cozy, comfortable and relaxing.

It was convenient for many too. I guess that was one reason why WL came for 2 nights. Glad. At least there are people making the effort. ZW too, I can sense that uncertainty and boredom in him initially. However, I guess he had mixed with us well w/o his usual buddies. Due to work, some check in late, so yeah… many of the food stuff and BBQin’ I got to look over, and I didn’t know where to find the stuff. Great that WL was there to aid me.

For 3 days, I guess many of us really relax. Not much house keeping this time, except that BBQ kind of make things messy and ME smelly. It took me don’t know how many bath to get rid of the BBQ smell on my hair and body on the next day. Zzz. Lucky with the aid of sauna, steam bathe, the smell kind of got rid… Then, had a game of soccer while some go Zzz… I didn’t know I still can have stamina to run and chase ball. I guess it’s just all in the mind. LOL. Shah didn’t played well though, we was irritated by the grassy. For me, nothing much until later when I sat on it and my butt felt a little itchy…

Dinner at pizza hut was a great one. LOL. We split into groups to have our meals. Hot and chessy. Then on the last night, I had majong till 3 am. After that I went off to the room to sleep and Shah was coming up with all the GAYS and dirty talks. So I guess the class should know who the real gay is now. LOL.

Out of 20 of us, 17 gave a chance and made this chalet an enjoyable and successful one. Oh, though Mega-Flame burns the throat and it also burned (bonded) the 17 of us together. Though not very bonded, it was better now. Keep up, and let’s move on AD24. Hopefully, we can have 1 more chalet yea. ARANDA again!!! I simply love the place. Any other better place?

First of all, Happy Teachers’ Day to all Teachers who have once taught me or who have shaped my life one way or another.

Today is Teachers’ Day eve, went back to PRCS today with my old pals. Miss being with them though and we even went to Party World for Kara! It has been a long time since we last hang out.

Would like to comment that the color combination of PRCS building seriously zZz. The gate seems like temple’s gate. RED COLOR. Special huh? Why? Ask the Principal. First, I met up with the OM Singh and Department of Head of PE San NOT Shan. Had my lunch with them on the table n chatted. Since I’m an ex-school student, speaking to them is so much carefree than before. After that, Razak came.

LOL. San n Singh was asking SM to get married early better. Razak says, “Alex, don’t listen to them, enjoy first. You can always adopt one.” 3 Generation types of people were present there. So just like the 9 pm show; Big Man, Small Man. Finally after 2 years, I manage to taste the food in school. Taste and feeling never change.

Once again, I inspected the room I love most in school, NCC Room. It was messy as expected. Before I left, it was comparable to Azhar’s NPCC room, though theirs was much cozier, but in terms of tidiness it was reasonably comparable.

After lunch I bulged into the staff room without calling up the teachers (while Joseph & company waited outside). I had a long chat with YYH. He was a wise man. Seriously wise. Maybe due to literature, the study of humanity, I’ve learnt to observed and understand people better than before. Last time, when he use to ‘suan’ me, I was affected of course. But I am a serious man who can’t take joke unlike now; skin thicker. Ha.

So how was life? Hectic, competitive, tiring. “Don’t have to bother how well people do, as long as you do your best and you have no regrets, it’s alright” “You’re hardworking; I believe you can do it.” Encouraging words which some how recharged the energy I’ve lost after a long time. No one does this in TP or ever since I left PRCS. I was touch at that moment. Thanks Mr Yeo.

After that, met up with Ms Chua, Luo Lao Shi, Mimi Lam…

Then the funniest man came into action; Mr Collin with his lame moves and cold jokes. More white hair, aged. I remember those times when he ran with us, giving us extra Maths lessons when we’re just Secondary 1 & 2, always “remedial time is 2.30 pm and till depends”. It's always until 6 anyway. The vain spot is there combing his hair, showing black face. I’m always scolded for being selfish, who just ran to the water cooler and take a sip after run which I wasn’t suppose to do so; Endurance, Determination, One for All, All for One. That’s the rules you play.

Mr Collin is a great teacher. He even wanted to pass me some exam papers for Science after I mentioned that I’m giving tuition to students. He too encouraged me; work harder and study hard! Without him, there wouldn’t be the Alex today here. He would be just as selfish and a guy who never learns. Chance. People need a chance. He gave me a chance to prove myself, a chance to change. Thanks to Singh and San too, otherwise I would have a Beta record now in my report book.

Then, changes took place during Secondary 3! That was 1 reason I wasn’t a counselor but a USM of PRCS only then. Anyway, the current Acting USM was the boy who I gave the “Best Cadet” award to when he was just Secondary One. He still remembers my name! I can sense from his eyes is full of respect! Ha, I’m afraid not up to it for my status now. So he asked me how to manage a unit and how to pull up the unit to Gold back. Then, tips were exchanged. Sad to say, after I left they dropped to Silver.

Then, tips are; be firm, mature, cool and steady, and train harder!

So I was talking about signing on Army and getting a degree during the sign on days with Mr Yeo. At least, during the 5 years I’ve income and pursuing a degree. Probably after 5 years, having a degree would help me get better jobs in the industry. He said “I see you to be potentially SAF last time leh, now I don’t think so!” LOL. What have I become? Potential for… Celebrity? Modeling? Okay, humble now. Shouldn’t be BHB.

I’m still thinking of ways to earn fast money though. I want a better life for my family.

So many teachers were still shock to know that Me and Diana were still together. They thought it was puppy love. Sad to say, I was much more matured than lah! That’s why it can preserver until now! Even Mdm Kamisah agreed! The rest of the praises given by her, I shan’t mention it. Haha…

All right. I’m motivated now! Studies aside for now. Gym harder!

Thanks to all Teachers. Cheers!

“Election is round the corner, vote for me.” This can be commonly seen in the whole of TP. Yes, many are running election; for studies club or TPSU.

“Hey Alex, you’re not running?”
“Nope.”

Sad huh? Or disappointment to those who wanted to support me, but can’t? Sorry pals, sorry people, sorry my friends. I have my reasons.

Hence, the latest news – 17 people are running for ASc main committee. However, some bias lecturers publicize for 13. Here’s the break down. Out of the 13, there are people who are non-subcommittee members. The other 4, 1 or 2 was sub-committee members. Obviously, it’s favoritism or biasness if you want to put it. UGLY. Extreme ugliness done by the lecturers.

It’s not like the 1 in the 4 is a slacker or what. He/She did her work, made her contribution to ASc before. He/She did the things as were instructed. How ugly can politics be even demonstrated in school? Ugly lecturers. Ugly CF.

There’s a story, this is how it goes…

A: “Hey, why you don’t want to run.”
B: “Why should I? Look at the other runners and the person who is going to press the horn.”

A stunned; turning into stunner. B continues…

B: “Fuck up KELONG horny horners.”
A: “Why?” (Disbelief)

B: “If I start a little earlier, he would say I foul. But if the others start a little earlier, they would definitely run ahead of me. Some of the spectators out there should come down the track and run. They have more stamina which you’ll never know and never discover. This is because Fuck up KELONG horny horners, don’t like spectators.”

A: “But, why did you say Fuck up KELONG horny horners, don’t like spectators???”

B: “Only runners are interested in the sport. However for spectators, no matter how many time he horns, they never run and never move.”

Moral of the story: Fuck up KELONG horny horners’ horn irritates the spectators.

Hence, they’ll never want to be on the track. They’ll never want to be controlled. The horn had made the spectators lose interest. It's not the person, but the act itself.

Bad metaphor isn’t it? I crapped it up. Read between the lines, use your reading skills.

I once said, a leader is never nor considered a good leader if he shows biasness nor favoritism regardless of how much you can lead. He gives everyone the opportunity to perform and rectify the problem if his comrades fail to perform. More often than not, the problem lies with him/her - the leader.

Catfish, got it? It goes the same for lecturers.

It’s the failure to lead in proper. Something has brewed in the tea; the tea leaves. Then, the tea is drinkable. Some leaves separates from the other leaves when the drinker starts pouring. You broke the club with your actions and “take it for granted” attitude.

You have the brain. But when brain comes without a heart, the brain becomes much useless after all.

I miss those inspiring teachers in secondary school. Thanks lots to my NCOs, I learnt a lot.

Many things are bothering me; politics. Not in Singapore but ASc. I'm still considering. Many external factors are obstructing my way. To go for? Or don't? Perhaps, I've to wait for the outcome of interest for my Canoe Polo.

Past few nights, talked to RP. I miss NCC indeed. Back to Week 0, I was narrating to RP how I would have done, if I've still got my RANK and POST. It was the attitude freshman that SHA referred me to.

Back during school days, my Officers has no worries for disciplinary or AP students. I had always handled them. Scold? Yes, I did. I even shouted right at their face. Of course, this doesn’t help. I've always played devil-angel. I'll counsel them for their mistake. However, as LT head in a polytechnic; things are beyond my reach. For, people will hate me. Hence, I refer AP students to lecturers.

I decided not to sign on as CLT is partly because I would like to expose myself to other forms of leadership. I did. I learned a lot of interpersonal skills after O levels. However, I’ve learned that as a leader, you can’t expect everyone to like you. But, you need the majority to like you. Otherwise, the problem lies with you.

I’ve always got some things to say. However, sometimes I’m too tired to blog. Just like Saturday night, I’ve plenty to blog. Then now, I’ve forgotten what I want to say.

All right. A new week is starting again. I’m going to be shag by the days. God bless me. Good night.

All right. Due to popular demand, (true or not i don't know) my blog will be back to life soon. Cheers! Await for my updates!

I've been too lazy to blog. Hence for the time being, please enjoy my GC journal.

PRE– TRIP JOURNAL

10 December 2005, Saturday
It was the first global citizenship briefing. It was uncertainty which I experienced. I received an email a few days ago and was told to be in the reserves. I’ve never taken a flight before. I hope this would be an opportunity for me to see the world out of Singapore.

One of my friends didn’t attend the briefing as he thought that the chances for him to get in the subject would be low. However, I think that if you want something and go all out, you’ll get what you want eventually.

Beautiful pictures were shown in the briefing. The world is big out there but I’ve yet to seen any. A shanghainese woman was invited to provide us with more information and lifestyle of Shanghai – interesting. I guess many who attended the briefing had fun pronouncing some of the shanghainese phrases.

I’ve also realized from what I’ve learnt in sociology, I was able to apply this concept - cultures and values are embedded in our language. Without language, it wouldn’t create the environment you are living in, and the values you’re taught ever since you’re born. Then, it’s where you’re born that’s important. Environment and people shaped our life.

There’s still hope though. I hope I’ll be able to go Shanghai.

7 March 2006, Monday
It was the first day of global citizenship lesson. I’ve got into the class of TV01. Ms Marie had lots of proverbs which sets me to think deeper. There’s so many citizenship that I’ve come to realize, global; student, employer, employee and tourist. They come under one big umbrella - citizenship.

Globalization is the compression and intensification of the consequences of the world as a whole.

The world has become smaller each day with the rapid growth of technologies. Good or bad? Perhaps I would prefer the world to continue to be in its primitive state. Why? Good phrase to quote, “When the world is big, we think small. But as it gets smaller, we think big.”

There are so many problems in the world now. Environment verses Human, Human verses Human. For the recent years, many things had happened. It started out with mouth and food disease, SARS, Bird Flu; evolving from one stage to another, Tsunami and etc. And we human tried our best to overcome them and restore them to what it was in their original state. Coming to human verses human; terrorism around the globe and genocides happening in other countries.

Is it a hint that we should restore Earth to what it was supposed to be?

Human life has improved over the centuries due to the wonderful brains we had. At the same time, it has brought us various consequences. In many ways we had benefited (an easier life). However, from what we have done and received over the years, was it human’s retribution?

Maybe if we’ve learnt to be more self-contented rather than trying to pursue knowledge and understand why, the Earth would be able to survive longer, humans would be happier and live longer. However, pros and cons emerged as we get more and more educated. Imagine, I wouldn’t be typing this entry. Back to primitive, I may be learning how to hunt now.

7 March 2006, Tuesday
Today’s presentation was impressively done by my classmates. I could have done better, but maybe I’ve yet use to the people in my class. There was lots of “arguments” in defending individual perceptions.

Though I have my point of view, I wasn’t spontaneous enough. While the arguments were going on, thoughts are running in my mind, analyzing others perception. I wasn’t confident enough in a new group of people to speak up.

Our thoughts, is it regarded as perception or deception? What is right and wrong? If murdering and taking one’s life is wrong, it’s because we have the mind to judge. What about taking the life of an animal? Do we have the mind to judge? Yes. But because an animal doesn’t have a mind to judge, humans aren’t blame.

Right and wrong isn’t defined. If there’s a day whereby we’ve to be cannibals, I guess many will be; in the mental state of desperate survival. If you say you wouldn’t, you’ll be killed. Naturally, you’ll sleep well and sleep forever. There’ll be neither have fear nor guilt.

True enough, human tries to maximize profit over all values. Due to environmental and social problems, we can be extremely selfish.

“World federation is an ideal that will not die. More and more people are coming to realize that peace must be more than interlude if we are to survive; that people is a produce of law and order; that law is essential if the force arms do not rule the world.” -William O. Douglas, US Supreme Court Justice

To simplify this proverb – the world is perfect, peace is important if we want to survive; hence if we can produce law and order, peace should be made without resorting to violence.

It then leads to peace lying in the mindset of man. We chose our path in life; we’re responsible for what we’ve chosen. Selfishness leads to anger and frustration and then leading to war. It starts off as initial state of selfishness, to the process of anger; war had already started in the process before actions actually took place.
Therefore, for this proverb, “The primacy of profit maximization over all other values is the core of environmental and social problems.” I do only agree partly.

I do not agree that environmental and social problems are the core that we go against our values. Rather the core problem lies in us. As what I’ve learnt recently, the “moral compass”. We can choose to go against or not to.

Tired… Tired from school and projects. Had an argument with SH and WL due to project meeting. SH argued for WL.

To get you prepared and clear your school work these few days and come to meet on Sunday means a lot to her. I understand. Can you tell me a reason for me to accept? Spend time with family. I quitted DB to do so. However, I burnt it for projects.

Just a week and it’s that difficult? After ALP on Saturday, I bet many do not want to do any work. A Sunday can mean a lot to you, so does it to the others.

I understand you have activity but tell me what is it that you should be allowed to be excuse.

“You do not need to go to such an extent. What’s the big deal?” What a statement. The deal is not very big. It’s all for the sake of the group - to be more mentally prepared and rather being “gan chiong”.

TR calls for meeting on Sunday. His group members grumble. He so called argued with G too. Why not SH argue for G?

In the end, he ends up preparing his presentation at 02 00 to 02 30 hours.

Recalling the scene, I do not like it at all. Why do you have to argue in such a way whereby I’m trying to explain it?

I do not want perfection. I seek perfection to improve, not to be perfect. It pushes you up higher than the others. Though it’s not perfect, we can see the work produced is better. Though it’s comparative, it just the matter on how you go about treating it.

Presentation is not about individual. It’s the ability of your group to impress others. Naturally, all the group members will score. Organization’s objective above one’s self. My objective is to do well as a whole. The satisfaction is better.

Why can’t people understand? I’m someone who makes decision. I chose what’s best to what I can think of. At the same time, I’m free for ideas. Convince me, do not just keep quiet. Or rather, discuss it to make it better.

If everyone does not give slip short or half past six work, it would make life of the collaborator easier. Still I’m looking for a better template.

Working in a group, does not mean when you come for meeting, you’re co-operating. I’ve realize the definition of co-operation. It’s to give in your best to the organization (no slip short work) and take the initiative to ask if the other need help or to do something for others.

All these goes with you till you’re at work or no matter where you go. Perfectionist is needed in a group to produce better work; it also pushes to group as a whole to go further. Am I such a difficult person to work with?

In the end, she can’t make still though I’ve compromised to her needs. Tomorrow morning. Reason: My BF isn’t that happy. I accepted.

I don’t trust school’s computer, it is I do not want to do it in school. The internet is slow too. Want to have a trial of the presentation and practice it as a team also kind of inconvenient.

I’ve done my best.

It has been long since I’ve updated. Busy. Busy with school and CCAs. My free time had been spent on playing game, with girlfriend and friends.

A closure to my holidays – not well spent enough. School has started, however I always wanted to be at home. I do not have the feeling to “chiong” again. I’m tired out mentally.

DB has created the stress – mental stress. 5 days a week is a big commitment. Though my attendance has been very bad, there’s stress. Out of 5 trainings, average attendance is 3/5. Sorry. However, each time when it comes to training days, I just do not feel like going. Yet, inside me I felt guilty.

I’m figuring out why and I knew why. It’s tiring to make trips down to Kallang or sometimes during the weekdays, I’ve got to stay in school till so late. After reaching home, sometimes I have to face my mother’s black face. She likes things to be done on time, as she’s a housewife, she want to rest early. She doesn’t like things to be left there and wait for the next round of washing – that goes for my daily clothes. Of course it’s a trouble. I understand.

Anyway, in the previous post as I said, I was pissed. Firstly, due to some money matters between the lectures with our class. The lectures attitude and character. Secondly, was with DB’s CAP – felt that somehow his words should be encouraging and not a discouraging one. Lastly, I’ve forgotten. So, that’s the end of the story.

Weather is cool today. I love it. Few days ago, after coming back from training, i laid on my bed. Tired but yet I couldn’t sleep. Later, I was on the verge of tears. Yea, so again, I thought of my grandma once more. Partly, it’s also maybe beause of mental stress which comes within me.

So today was my bus ride to Tampines Mall with my dearest to meet her parents. Without knowing, while talking to her, I broke down. Of course it’s about my grandma once more. The urge of turning back the time is so terrible.

So I told her this. I dreamt of Grandma last night. She just suddenly appeared in my dream. I walked up to her, I hugged her. It was my first time doing this to her ever since she brought me up since I was a baby till the age to 6.

In my dream, I asked her how she was doing and I told her I really miss her. She smoothed my back, telling me everything’s goanna be alright. I could still remember in my dream, I felt so happy when I saw her. I felt so carefree and motivated to move on further.

Here I am typing these, I couldn’t control my tears. I do not know when time will be enough. But I really miss her. Time just couldn’t turn back. It’s different when death comes unprepared. The person will never be there again to put a full-stop in your life.

I'm Pissed. I'll update again and let you know why. Arghz!

I’ve been too lazy to update. My daily events are DRP & DB training. Not much of a regret joining DRP. Rather, the regret part was the holidays were terribly burned. The thing that irks my heart is not having enough time for my dearest. I miss spending time.

Last Saturday and Sunday was the SAVA race. Excluding the mixed race which I wasn’t in, there are a total of 5 race for man’s open for the 2 days. Due to excess amount of team members, coach had to substitute some of us for each race. Hence, I took part in 4 out of 5 - thrice rower and once drummer.

It’s nice being drummer! Shout, motivate the team and whack the drum! I love it. Hopefully, when the next batch of freshies come in for Temasek Regatta, I’ll be able to drum for AS?

1st time for race was the SAVA sprint 200m. Everything ended fast. “Chiong ah!” before you knew it, you’re at the finishing line. Too fast, too furious. However, we were still last. Teams from foreign countries like Japan, Germany, Australia and Philippines. You can imagine how built they are and comparing to us, who had trained for just 4 months, ranging from 17 to 18 years old.

We lost but we knew each other better. The team had definitely bonded a lot for the 2 days. Coach was glad as he sees the improvements in us. It’s not all about winning. No doubt satisfaction and experience were gained.

Congrats to the girl’s team, making it to the Cup Finals for 500m on Sunday and gained 2nd position – that’s what I heard.

As for DRP, I’ve learned a lot of practical skills in the laboratory. It’s a good time polishing up my laboratory skills. I hope the laboratory instructors would not be pestered by me when school reopens and laboratory work starts. I’ve become more particular, not the crazy Alex whose at work in the laboratory and tries all sorts of nonsense. It’s all goes to YY’s guidance. Thanks.

YY popped up a question which makes me think for a moment during one of our lunch break. “How do you define successful?”

After much thought, I’ve a more definite answer after doing a compare and contrast with KJ and AC’s reply with mine. KJ’s reply was; do what you like to do. AC’s success gained when you’ve happiness. I suppose that’s what they meant.

For mine, seek a balance in life.

The definite answer after much thought would be; you gradually would gain happiness from what you like to do. However, a point of balance has to be present. You can have 5 people of about the same height standing but not 5 standing and 1 sit or squad. It’s ugly.

5 people standing have only a little difference in height. When u see from far, the formation isn’t that bad. However, when it comes to the latter, and like you coming to the aspect you’re weak in, you’re demoralized.

In this case when I say these, I may be seeking for perfection. Differences can’t be too far apart. It may be tiring to be achieved. We may seem balanced, but we’re actually not. It’s something we need to find out as we go on in our life.

Hence, the definitions of successful change with time.

With different point of view from different people, sometimes you may just get the answer. But be reminded, it’s not definite. The view point of 3 people doesn’t represent the amount of population present in this Earth.

Let's THINK more.

歌名: 让时间开口
演唱: 张智成

脚步重心口痛你开始泪流
太明白在未来已不能迁就
应验了一开始有人说
我们一定不会长久

泪干了各自走不会有挽留
现在就放开不会再牵的手
没有错我们并没有错
只是走不到最后

从头到尾安静地承受
分开的默契我们都有
所有的想念和问候
留作以后朋友代口

当时间缓缓流走
已不适合再开口
背影随沉默拉长
所有答案都在心上

当时间缓缓流走
会代替我们开口
寂寞再回到身旁
爱情留待别人遇上

时间会代我开口
时间会代你开口
时间会索你所有
过去现在或以后

Finally have the time to sit right down in front of the computer and blog. Many thing are on my mind every day and hope to share it over the net, however, my schedule is just so pack.

For PS’s previous entry, the elderly life experiences were much 可贵. Their advices for the upcoming generation were also no doubt 金玉良言. However, as I’ve said, decision making may not be the wisest. All that you can do is to have their advices being put into analyzing with other relevant information that you may have. Case Close*

Some updates for my recent life.

I guess for the 2 months holidays, that’ll be a total of 4 BBQ I’ve attended. Tired and really tired. 1st was the class chalet, DB’s, EX-Class and lastly ASc. I would say I enjoyed ASc’s most and followed by EX-Class. Enjoyable.

DB’s race coming up and training intensity is getting higher. My back is aching and body is not recovering on time. Sometimes I just feel so sick after the training the next day. Skipped Sunday and today’s training. Sunday was back pain, today was feeling sick. I skipped to prevent being sick. I knew my body and race is on Saturday and Sunday.

Got to know that I wasn’t selected for the mixed race. Sad? Not really. I’ve got other commitments and there’s nothing to be sad about.

Training wasn’t enjoyable at all sometimes. To enjoy, there must be some spirit and most importantly the presence of friends. There was never full attendance which makes coach disappointed. Perhaps, due to the intensity, some just could not seek a balance in life.

As he says, he doesn’t like to see tired faces during training. Likewise, when some of them need to work, their employer doesn’t like to see their tired face either. Training makes you mentally and physically exhausted. Here, I mean really exhausted. You know how does exhaust pipe works?

What happens when engine is used to its limit? After a day, do you think it’ll be slightly working? Working as well as before? Or dead? To excel in this area is to have no other major/ important commitments. Mind you, it’s 4 times a week. Diets and sleeping hours have to be in good control. People like me who dreams daily is worst. 365 days a year, 90% of it I’ll have dreams.

I’m enjoying ASc for the moment. Happening, fun, funny, relax and most importantly you get to know new friends. Yea, my life has been bored; no life. Anyway, it’s great to meet some new guys. News guys who are passing by my life, or maybe staying through?

DRP has been bored. Shit. I’ve got to entertain 90 hours of it. Entertain just means 应酬. It means; something which you do not like to do but has to do it. Haha, it’s not the actual meaning actually. Got to learn it through a serial which I watch when I was young.

Ok la, I’ve been crapping in this entry of mine. Bored.

I found this interesting under the small gift cards of herworld magazine.

Value & Appreciation:

We often take things, people and situations for granted.

We take our loved ones for granted.
Friendships are taken for granted.
Relationships are taken for granted.
Peace is taken for granted.
Justice is taken for granted.
Kindness is taken for granted.

When any of these are taken for granted, problems and unhappiness arises.

So, next time, stop and think, how much the people around us mean to us. Value, appreciate and treasure them before you lose them.

A little appreciation, not only makes the people around us happy, but also strengthens the bond between each other and goes a long way.

I read a story on herworld; “a story which will make you hug your hubby”. Touching.

I would now do a summary.

The couples knew each other at university. They had romantic courtship. They move on into marriage. However, Joe’s (changed name) marriage ended in about 13 years.

“No more morning kisses, no more sending off her to work, no more quarrels nor fights and no more bedroom wrestle.”

At this moment of time, in the process of reading the article, you may be thinking that Joe had been unfaithful and swayed. However, let’s move on.

Before they got married, they got an agreement list. Whereby each party states the like and dislike of the other. On the lady’s side, she had a long list. However, joe only had one; “I want to grow old with you”. It didn’t turn out to be a lifetime but 13 years.

The happily married couple had 3 children and Joe always have his family day with his family weekly.

He was contracted with diabetes in his twenties. Doctor says he’ll have his honeymoon for the 10 years. There after, his body will start breaking down. They didn’t believe this as one of their uncle or friend if I’m not wrong, live pass 70 even when contracted with diabetes at a very young age.

On this tragic day, his wife couldn’t contact his husband. It was a Sunday. As usual, he cooked breakfast and proceed on to wash and polish his car before the family outing. His wife’s worry was he might have fainted from low sugar levels caused by his diabetes.

Then, police came knocking on the door to seek for identification of body. Her wife’s hope was it wasn’t her husband and it was a mistake. She saw his lifeless body on the ground. Their whole life together flashed in her mind; their moments of intimacy, fights, laughter… everything.

Most importantly, she still remains very faithful.

“I may miss all the things we used to do together, but that don’t mean that I am looking forward to doing all that with someone else. I want a man but not just any man. I want only the one I lost, so I don’t think remarrying is an option for me.”

“My children need a father but nobody can fill the gap but Joe. No one can be as good a father to them than the one they have lost. I will have to be both mother and father to them and if that means having to spend all my waking hours.”

Firm and a strong with determination and persistence.

To read more, get the magazine. I would say it’s worth reading. As relating to the gift card, value and appreciate.

Few days back, I paid my visit to the temple. It was my grandmother’s first birthday after her death. The urge of turning back the time comes back again. When the mission is so impossible and yet you want to do it so much, it’s heart wrenching. Feel it.

Sudden death is a fact which is hard to accept. It’s not easy. Without thinking about the person’s death in your daily life, the presence still seems to linger around. No doubt, it’s very painful.

Here’s a message which I want to put across to those who have pass by; No matter how much time you spend with your loves ones and precious friends around you, it’s never enough.

In our life that god has given to us, it’s not about our academic, career and time worshipping him/ her and etc. It’s about us, spending quality time with the people around us. Time is never enough no matter how much you have spent. When a sudden change takes place, you’ll feel it.

Value and appreciate. It’s never too late. I love you, my friends, my family, my dearest.

Previous Entry was better than this, but due to technical problems I hope I still could bring you my perception.

Criticisms are meant to be given, but give it constructively. For my say, do it professionally. Every one has the right to comment on something and somebody, regardless of age. It doesn’t mean only elders have the right to have a say. It’s undefined and what do you mean by how old.

Can a 70 year old plus still give constructive feedbacks? No, they’ve aged and lack the thinking process and analysis skills. Hence, some jobs are meant to target different age group of people. That’s for YL, do not feel offended. That’s my explanation. As youngsters we should test for credibility of the job’s information.

Anyway, I was shooting ST initially. As bad as I can be, I’m becoming more evil. I do not why, but I wasn’t myself lately. Was it a change or not? People change, some turned more evil, some more vulgar.

Back for PS’s post, the right to criticize it’s not really about whether you’re up for it. “有些人懂得告诉别人他的不是，但却不曾看看自己是否需要任何改进”; while I am having my say about you, I do not need to look into aspects which I need to improve myself. There’s a reason.

Why is this so? Bullshit. No. The can have the “say” on the guy, PROVIDED that the there ain’t any presence of the “say” you said. Naturally, ensure that “你是否有慎重检点了自己的言行举止”. I agree, yet difficult to do so. Hence, what you have condemned mustn’t be what you are.

You do not need to look into other aspects as what you say doesn’t relate to other weakness of yours. The other weakness of yours is for others’ turn to say about you. It’s a go round and round thing. It’s like you shoot others, others can shoot you back when he’s stronger than you in that aspect.

Receive feedbacks professionally. How? You may say cannot la. For the moment, you may “argue” with the person or pursue your rights. It’s all right; you’re explaining. However, do it with right tone to avoid fights.

Undeniable, sometimes you may have the moment of harshness to pick up a fight. It’s ok, just do it. However, at the end of the day, always ask for reasons why. Why does he/ she gave such a comment. Analyze. You’ll always have time for yourself alone. That’s all for here, let’s move on to the next part.

“每个人的存在都含意着恶性竞争”; this applies for the past and school life be it past or present. However overall socially, I would say human’s presence in the current century has the presence of 恶性竞争. Why not? If not why are technologies and market moving so fast? It may seem “良性竞争” on the surface but you never know what’s beneath the still waters. Otherwise, fresh O levels graduates won’t be duped by certain firms.

************************************************************************

Watched “one more chance” with dear and few of my classmates. I would say it’s quite nice. Jack Neo brings me back and forth; about to shed tears and back to laughter. I was on the verge of tears. Beside me was my dearest, whole face wet. Hugx. I wonder if the other few ladies did cried.

Feel the world or the ex-convict. It can be depressing though. They never gave up; persistence, determination and discipline. Give them a chance.

Had badminton with few ex-schoolmates plus classmates. Nice game. I guess my right arm would be aching tomorrow.

What’s next for tomorrow? Dragon Boat: gym training. Each time I feel weaker during training. Not that often la. I wonder if I’m weak or it’s my muscles which can’t recover on time and the intensity gets higher each time.

4 times of training a week, DRP coming and ASc work to be done. DRP will have a start on Tuesday @ 4.30. I’ll be late for DB; with reasons. No guilt.

Sadly, I enjoy 70% of the happenings. But I hope to have time for her. Maybe we’re drifting. I don’t know. Let’s move on.

Think. Some people think and yet they never find a solution to their question. There are actually solutions and some reasons why.

Partly, they’ve something holding them back which they thought to be evil. This may somehow obstruct their thinking. However, you always have the choice of getting yourself back to the right path.

Another case, you’ve not been open enough or you lack the experience. The latter applies to me. Sometimes through experiences, you gain and learn values. By being liberal, you share more and learn more. Being adventurous and bravery to explore you have more experience; you dare to try out in any form of circumstances.

Some “kids” though they maybe good in studies and always want but not seek perfection in academic, they’re lack of something; character (个性). You want and you seek is different.

They, “认为还是不够，好还要更好” and they feel like shit all over. Yes, “力求上进是好的也是必要 but 如已成了要求完美; 只含意了无形中的一种承重负担” and all that’s on their mind isn’t knowledge but marks and ability to be the victor out of others. It becomes a 负担 to make sure all the stuff is in their head (memorization). In short, no actually goal or the goal’s value has been lowered.

I believe in this society that we’re currently living; can’t be like MM who leads the country to independence and later on till now. “平一个人的力量是很难能改变什么的” but with the co-operation of a group of people, something could be done. Don’t feel hopeless. No 绝望. You ain’t facing problems alone. Share it. Always bear in mind, teamwork.

Confrontation may not be a good thing. However there’s only 2 outcome; good or bad. Solve it straight and depending on situations; some friends are meant to let go. Would you want a friend who both of you doesn’t appreciate each other and you try to keep for life?

Sometimes they’re meant to be passer-by for you to learn something from them. For now, you learn and as you proceed on in life, you deal better with human-relationships. You’ll get better no doubt. Don’t keep loose ends deep in your heart, put in punctuation; full-stop. There this goes the friend who ends here in you life.

You need to face it now, the society is too harsh and competitive and you can already get examples from the current environment without moving on to the future. The kind of childhood which people use to have at our stage has gone. You can’t escape for long.

People are maturing faster. You just can’t have the好人脸 in front of all people. If you can’t protect yourself, you’ll be eaten up. Basically, we’re killing each other with motives and see who starts first. It’s a challenge.

I don’t mind getting stab once, but you’ll get it back double the price. For those who’re nice, you’ll be treated doubly nice. That’s call protect yourself and not harming others at the same time.

That’s all for the crapping. Here’s a update of myself.

************************************************************************

Busy. Darn busy. I’ve got myself into shit. I’m selected for Dragon Boat. I’m in DRP (Research Project), 90 hours to complete, Applied Science School Sub Committee and DB with 4 times a week of training; Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday due to the upcoming race.

I do not know if I’m in the upcoming race, as I did not hand in my passport size photo to Captain for the registration of race. All thanks to AC. I do not know if it was a motive or a moment of forgetfulness. I hope it was the latter.

For the moment he was put into consideration. “So petty ah?” I’m just giving a “curfew”; it’ll be taken off when it’s time. My trust is just given off too easily.

Today’s training was shag at kallang, though while rowing we shout “No Shag!” to keep up the mental strength and moral. Mind over body. Teamwork was great to make the impossible, possible.

Before the set was 1000m warm up row; then, 30 minutes of non-stop rowing followed by 20 minutes. After that were 3 sets of up 40 with the seniors. Pull-ups were increased to 4 sets of 12 and with 20 push-up at each interval after each set.

When I heard my name yesterday, it was to my surprise being in the team. Coach asked me to buck up my pull-up and increase my diet. Am I so small size? I’m already bigger than Raymond and a few others. Ok, I’m trying. Don’t blame me when I’m fat. Anyway, I’m waiting for jersey and the Team Temasek jacket!!!

So touch that my honey waited for me while she was in pain (tummy & err… humph…). She’s being considerate at the improper time! She got nagged by me and her godmother. Haha. She was in tears when she got into the car. She must have felt so terrible. Poor dearest; here’s a big hug.

That’s all for the updates. Ciaoz.

Yup, do not have something good to say then shut it up. However, sometimes people need to vent it out otherwise it creates this psychological problems up there. If accumulated, situations get worse one day. Luckily, there’s this thing call blog for me to have my say. Yes, frank and straight forward. Take it or leave it. Treat it as an advice for the future or hate me.

I find myself changing. Am I? I socialize with almost different kinds of people. I seen many or maybe not as yet, life’s still a long way to go. Yes, the presence of intolerant people irks me. However, I accept the way they are. I can’t expect them to be ideal.

Sometimes it’s just too many which spoils events and the co-operation of the class. While others may be trying to have at least had some bonding for a moment, some others just do it for show for the lecturers’ presence. What an act.

Gossiping and talking back can be seen has a form of virtue. Socially, people do so to avoid confrontation of making relationship worst. Hence, sometimes I do that to avoid any form of a moment of harshness which may lead to other problems.

Gossiping do creates problems. However, give constructive gossips. So as when confronted, you’ll be able to take what you say. Don’t hold back, be frank and straight forward, you gain other’s trust. You’re only being sincere because they meant something deep inside you.

Cool blooded. I’m learning this. However, for those who treat people sincerely, no worries. What’s happening beneath the still waters isn’t my concern. But when relationships are link to me, I would choose to interfere.

Why? Either you solve it or say goodbye to it. Do not leave it there; improve your skills of solving problems. You’ll learn more along the way and you deal better when you start work. Don’t escape from reality. Face it, solve it.

Friends come and go. Good friends are hard to come by, treasure them. Your virtue will be remembered some day when they’ve reach certain stage of maturity. Be observing, there are so many motives in the actions and speech of the majority. Can we have some childhood? I don’t wish to enter the world of adulthood so soon. It’s too complicated.

From the day I lost a friend, I learnt a lot. I gave so much help and yet, hurt. This time round it’s another time; twice. I kept asking myself sometimes, why am I being so good? Why didn’t you dare to be more ruthless?

I think I should. I kept wanting a change but just not up to it. Too sentimental and emotional. Deep down inside, friends are so important. I appreciate quite a number of people in the class; PS, RT, SH, WL, YL and some of the malays be it after or before this event. Many efforts was seen, sarcrifices were made. They're another group of people starting to further shape my life positively. I do hope friends which I made now; we’ll be able to walk through the journey of life.

Finally got rested, another day of boredom. Anyone has lobangs for temp/ part time jobs? Here’s a short part of conversation with one of my classmate over MSN:

It’ll be between ME & FAD.

FAD: Yo alex you ok?

ME: Yup, sorry about the flared yesterday.

FAD: No, it’s ok brother. It’s partly our fault too.

ME: Nahz, not really. Angry about ST & company plus a few others. Not you guys actually.

FAD: I’m ashamed. Your leadership very good you know? Seriously, wish I were like you.

ME: Leaders are not born, they’re made. You can be too. It’s after each experience you became one.

FAD: It’s like you can lead and follow you see. It’s has been hard for you and the ladies for the past 3 days. As an organizer, I shall say you’re responsible.

ME: Leaders are followers too. Everyone play a different form of leader when they’re in a group. I can lead and at the same time a follower because I follow instructions given by a person who is of a higher status than me or of what’s the group’s interest.

ME: Actually I wasn’t the organizer. I’m just a helper. It was Ruben & Sharez.

FAD: You see? Even I thought you were the organizer. You did lots of things w/o complaining.

ME: Nahz, I still flared in the end.

FAD: That’s natural. If I were you, I’ll do that too.

Thanks. Thank you for your appreciation. At least I do feel that what was done was worthwhile after all. These words were a great console. I hope to share this with those who have put in effort for the event.

My hands are still full of the smell of garlic and onions. It's marinated. Phew.

Exams are over and a chalet was organized for tutorial group TD04. Work and work. This is my first time doing so much housework (cooking, washing and etc) for the past 3 days 2 nights. Tired. The minority didn’t play much, neither the ladies. I can clearly record, an hour of pool and 2 hours plus of swimming sessions in total?

Here’s a AAR (After Action Review) of the event:

- Initiation work both ways. Don’t ask people what to do, find what has not been done.
- Be sensitive. Do not boast how much you’ve done. It hasn’t been much.

- A leader is meant to bring positive influence, not negative.
- A leader doesn’t give excuses at all times, set an example. Be constructive.

- A post as a class representative is given the responsibility of bonding the class. He/she should clearly know that he has to do his utmost to get the class together. Naturally, be more participative than any others. He/she should make the impossible, possible.

- Excuses are meant to help you when you really have to get away, not to cheat on others.
- Responsibility is a huge word which contains other characteristics. Set an example.

- Fun atmosphere doesn’t come from organizer. Do not expect organizer to do everything. Come out with something yourself and bring the crowd together.
- Do not think you want fun. For those who were not having, they want fun too. Be understanding. They had 3 days W/O fun. No guilt?

- Do not be a mummy’s boy when you’re in an organization or group. Be automatic, take initiative. Be pro-active. You REPRESENT how much your parents brought you up.
- Academic aspect doesn’t mean everything. Do not have to keep comparing or talking about it. Characters and practical are important too.

- Do not look down on others. Think about how others are looking at you. Do not be hypocritical, it isn’t time. We’re still schooling.
- Do not think highly of yourself. Be humble.

- In such events, organization before self’s interest.
- We don’t seek a change but an improvement.

- Participate and anticipate in such events.
- Do not get pissed nor hate/dislike others before thinking. Ask your conscience.

From the above, I hope I seek an understanding of why I was pissed and fared. For those who’ve got the scolding, sorry; you guys were my last straw. I fared partly because I was really tired. The pots were hard to clean as bottoms were burnt plus looking at people leaving just like that, it irks me.

Not a word of thanks to show any form of appreciation, it made things worst. You just left that way. Things were taken for granted. All that was done didn’t worth anything to you? Be considerate.

You may say, “hey calculative.” That’s the case, come do it and I’ll play the whole day round. When things are cooked, all you knew was to fill your tummy. People who have been busy ate only so much later? Tolerance comes with a limit and everyone has it.

What has been done is done. I just hope to see more efforts put in by less assertive people to make the class a better class. It’s improvement we seek, not an overnight change. Seek a balance in life, being good only academically is NOTHING.

Sorry if you’re despised by me. The amount of intelligence and wealth doesn’t make me look up to you. Think about your character. That’s a substance.

Let me shoot someone here, if you happen to read this, improve yourself. I’ve got to let this out here; I do not wish to disgrace you when I can’t take it one day in the public:

ST, stop being a flirt when you have a girlfriend. I wonder how much securities your girlfriend has. Do not give a helping hand only when teachers’ are around. Stop those acts. Don’t be a hypocrite and make use of others each time.

You’ll get it back in your life. Being academically good isn’t enough. You’re can be a lover, not a good family man for long term; so do not think you’ll be one next time. If you think you’ll be, learn to start the fire.

Stop praising yourself, you aren’t handsome. Do not think you’re amiable, you’re not.

Lastly, you failed as a class representative.

Everything will be forgotten after today. Let’s move on.

Had quite a long day today. Haven’t been blogging due to busy schedule and lecture quizzes. Skipped a few trainings cause of that. Hope they’re alright.

Had Dragon Boat Training today. It was IPPT once more. There are the results:

Pull Up – 9.0
Sit Up – 61

Push Up:
Set 1: 95
Set 2: 99

2.4KM – 11 minutes 10 seconds (Position 24)
________________________________________________________________________

Previous Results:

Pull Up – 6.0
Sit Up – 57

Push Up:
Set 1: 68
Set 2: 79

2.4KM – 11 minutes 07 seconds (Position 11)
________________________________________________________________________

I would consider slight improvement? Except for 2.4KM. Improvement because no muscle aches, and probably due to the Red Bull I drank before the test.

Pace was super fast for 2.4KM. Many of the juniors were motivated by the senior’s record. (they ran before we do). However, I wasn’t enthused. Partly because the weather was too great for a sleep, the Red Bull has ran out in me, not able to run due to pains in the process. I was basically jogging from second half round to the fifth. I didn’t speed up, body just cant take it after the previous test. Haven’t been running for like 2 weeks? Great.

Whether I’ll be in the team isn’t much of my concern for now. Anyway, selection is base on IPPT test, attendance, attitude, rowing tactics. I predict I maybe out due to attendance. It’s difficult to commit 2 times a week and including Sunday burnt. I’m still trying to.

Lastly, congrats to myself that I’m in AS sub-com together with G & SH. My last target is to aim for the president as my days in the community goes on. Previous years have been AS/ BMS ladies and guys. It’s time for a change. VOTE for ME! Haha.

I recall when I used to be a cadet, people told me Malays usually do well and they’re usually the head. Yes, it used to be when I was secondary 1 – 2. However, the trend was broken. I’m not being racist but my target was to break the trend.

This is what i have learnt; Opportunities are given, it depends on how you go about grabbing it. Sometimes people dug their own grave in the process. Some use to do well, but on the way, they decided to take a change which they thought to be a better path. Then, direction of opportunity also changes to look for a better man. Who’s at fault? Blame yourself.

Sorry if the entry has lots of mistake. I'm tired. Night.

Ok, I’ve been too busy to blog I guess? Or I would say, too lazy to do so. I’ll do a quick blog for the past few days. This entry will be divided into sections.

I can't remember what happened on Saturday. However, I stayed at home for the whole day and did some work. Dearest was sick and she kept me worry. Sunday was a busy day. It was a day which all my father’s side; extended families came over to my house. Not all were present; it’ll be hundred plus of them if they were to come. However, they sent representatives. It was my grandmother’s death anniversary; the ancestral tablet was at my home’s altar.

I would say, it’s a form of religious beliefs. However, at the same time, it’s a act of filial piety. Haha, those who were with Mr Yeo for literature, I guess you will still remember the poem? Typically after lunch, most of them left with some fruits and food home. The mess wasn’t cleared. My parents slept at 12 plus the night before and woke up in the early morning. My dad went to market twice in the early morning.

Monday was lab, secondary school and primary school had half day. With celebrations, they didn’t have any lessons at all. I could remember a year ago, the day before school parade, I was ironing and preparing my No.4. I miss wearing it. I miss parades. I miss all my shouting. I miss those days.

In the afternoon, took back my hand phone. It was well serviced. The whole panel was changed, together with the cover. All my pictures and contacts are lost. The feeling when I got back was like, it’s so new! My battery even got changed the previous week. However, the happiness with my phone did not last long. It’ll tell you why later.

In the evening, met up dearest for a date. Even though everything was a rush, we kind of enjoyed ourselves? We hardly have time for each other ever since the start of poly life. Wedding Crashers was quite nice. I’ll rate it at 3.5/5. Not very funny but funny. Romantic too. Dinner was Genki Sushi, it was her treat. Send her home after that.

Today morning woke up and set a few stuff with my serviced hand phone. Half way through, the screen went blank. I thought it had auto restart. However, it starts blinking. Shit. It’s spoiled again. Planned to go orchard's service centre, it’s the only service centre that’s available during public holidays. However, dearest has got family day. Didn’t want to bother her and meanwhile, lazy. MRT fares are expensive nowadays! The weather was also nice to staying at home.

Watched NDP live telecast. I would say, I’m touched at moments when they talked about the development of Singapore over the decades. At this point of time, you can see MM and SM eyes on the verge of tears. It was indeed a lot of hard work they put in. It was not easy. The parade also gave me a recollection of the commands I used to know. 80% of my memory was regained. I would really feel like shouting once more.

I had a hard time with units and numbers of MEB’s tutorial. All thanks to PS; problems solved. My eyes haven’t been clear with numbers nowadays. I start to realise that my myopia is getting worse. My vision gets more blurry nowadays. I hope to have perfect eye sight man. It’s cool.

Lastly, Happy Birthday Singapore! I’m really happy and glad to be born and to be here. I love it. That’s all. Good night.

Oh, enough of the day. The back of my neck and head was so painful. I could feel a stone rolling inside and squeezing out the brain juices, smothering the skull. Especially during MEB, it was crazy. I’m seriously lack of sleep. Arghz.

CCN Day review:

I would say it was successful; however there are rooms for improvements. Quality management was well controlled. Quantity wasn’t that right. Better accounts should have been up. Advertising was done quite badly I guess, decorations wasn’t enough. Our stall was distinctive with the rose I think. Luckily with the side orders, we made a mark to stand out a little more than the rest.

Needless to say, most of the guys were quite lazy especially during the pre-event period and that was why. The class is seriously lack of artistic people and hardworking ladies. Those who had done a lot for the event, your effort is recognized. Hard work has been paid off.

Even though profit wasn’t as much, consumers were glad with our packaging. First of all, they like the way they’re pack; the plastic container especially. They feel clean with the food. Packaging was praised by a few lectures to be creative. If much more time or whatever factors, we can actually make the chocolate adhere on the marshmallows and strawberries better in looks.

I find there’s a market for it. If a shop were to be open, we’ll be like bread talk. However, it’ll be chocolate talk or temptation paradise? But it won’t last long in the market. It’ll be like Bubble Tea. However, we can franchise for a period of time and later disfranchise after the hot period. Isn’t that cool? We can work on it?

Watched channel U’s “You Hua Jiu Shuo”. It’s sort of a debate between the adults and teenagers, I would say, the teenagers talking there are quite immature; seriously very self-centered. However, there are some who spoke fairly well. There’s no kind of put your self in your parent’s shoe kind of thing. However, teenagers will know how to tell them, put yourself in our shoe. Yup, I agree. However, it has to be vice-versa kind of thing. Society changed; therefore parents have to feel for their children too. Childhood life varies with the type of society that you’re in.

To break down the communication barrier, I would say, be frank with everything. Everything that happens for a reason in life is just part of it. Be it, having a girlfriend, I blah blah or whatever dirty stuff; it’s no shame. When you don’t hide, you’ve no fear. I’m frank with my family. I’ve got no problems communicating with my parents. Sometimes, just initiate the policy. It’ll be better. However if it fails, change it and move on.

Parents have enough responsibilities. It’s not easy. How much responsibility do we have? They’ve to work and worry for the money and bills and your spending for your every happy hour with your friends!

I wonder how my kids will turn out in future. I wonder.

Ok, finished my late dinner and protein shake. Aches here and there, mentally tied too. 5 hours of lectures marathon. I was almost knocked out during MEB lecture. It’s my weakest subject. Lecturer Tay was talking and talking, but I didn’t know what he was trying to say when he tried to start the ball rolling on STEAM. Till the part on saturated vapor/liquid and superheated steam, I was awake. I really tried my very best to stay awake, but my eyes were heavy.

Tomorrow will be CCN Day, I hope thing will turn out well. I hope I won’t be there finding mosquito to slap.

Today’s DB did lots of weights. Arghz. I find my muscles not getting much stronger. Sometimes it’s strong, sometimes not. Does it have enough rest? He can’t answer me. Alamakz, how lame am I talking right here.

The idea of quitting DB has been thought a few days. I’ve been forcing myself to turn up for training. First worry is my MEB, studies. Just imagine so much of endurance training. The next day, you’ll have to wake up early. In the LT, can focus? Use mental endurance again? It has been almost all used up the previous day le. The lack of focus results in failure. If talk about time management, maybe it wasn’t well plan.

Well, many people use blog as a way to express their view and venting their anger. Why not just vent straight and tell him/her off? What goes around comes around. Yes, true. However, if the person is very thick skin and over-confident sort (Guai Lan), set a last straw in you for his/her. Let’s not tell him/her off straight. To put situation in a better way, “suan” back?

The world is cruel. No one gives face to any other. However, do not hurt that people if he/she doesn’t harm you. If his/her attitude is “infectious” and dislike, be frank. There’s nothing wrong being frank. You’re just honest enough to make him/her realize the fact.

Heard self praise from G; sell-able face. Dots. No comments for that. Not acceptable to me as last straw was burnt. Self praise was done quite a number of times to what I observe. I would be frank here. She thinks highly of herself; pretty and smart. However, when failures are met, it’s just brush off; irrational and not analytical enough. Self-centered. She is a dominating leader who is after one’s interest. Come on, read this. Realize the fact. She’s a cannon at times too. There was once… ahuh… enough. I’ve got evidence yea? I do not bullshit and criticize without thinking.

What’s wrong with me today? Yes, this is venting; learnt it. I knew what I’ve type. Reader: “you like people talk bad about you meh?” Blah blah… Yes. Put it in a constructive way and I’ll try to improve. It’s to be a better person. Are my criticisms constructive enough? Maybe. If it’s not, post it. Give me comments. PM me if really need, my email is on shown in this blog.

Anyway, just a passing comment. I think I'm a little not right. However, I'm leaving it as it is. Good Night.

Ok, had a sucky day. Early morning sent my phone for service again. Whitesands SE service point is closing down. I’m going to Novena there to collect my phone man. Shit. After that, took bus with her to school.

Today’s lab was confusing. The calculation part was crap. We were the slowest class. We ended very late too. It was our latest timing. 2.45 PM. Went around Tampines getting the stuff for CCN with the ladies. Tired. We managed to get almost all we needed.

Make a mess out of WL’s kitchen I guess? Actually, not really. I did most of the cleaning up. They call me “good papa”. Anyway, my goal is to be a good husband and father. How good? It’s a long story.

Quite pissed with G today. I guess my eyes were BIG when I was talking to her. Just feel like throwing everything to them and leave. However, rational enough; can’t “Yi Qi Yong Shi”. Yup, the majority is my main concern. Aim at the problem, not the person.

Chocolate dipping didn’t turn out quite well; wasn’t very presentable. The taste was alright. However, alternatives are in place. We’ve got back up plan. To me, the back up plan was tidier in that sense. Less processing work and no risk nor worries about failing the task.

Chatted with her over the phone last night. She cried after reading my previous entry. Touching? Haha. Yup, me too. Tears shed; at the moment talking about my grandma with her. I miss her badly; the urge of wanting some one back. Feel it if you’re reading right now. Just imagine yourself in any form of situation. The urge can be forgotten in the day. However, when you needed her voice, the urge comes back. It’s like smoking. The urge. URGE.

Grandma grandma where are you?

I have the answer here to why people think; to pursue enlightenment. Have you watch Dharma on channel 8? It’s repeating now at 5.30PM. I watch it previously and watch it sometimes when I’ve got nothing to do. Values and enlightenment is actually learnt. It’s life values, not religious values as in believe in blah blah. NO. It’s like a piece of advice that breaks through and widens your thinking of life.

As said, there are pros and cons to every religion. I’ll talk about others when time goes by. Good night.

Ok. So I have my archive done up. People who are interested can view my “past deception”.

Woke up early morning; feeling lethargic. Had a midnight “influenza”. Blocked nose and running nose; spoiled my sleep. However, I got quite well again in the late afternoon. Weird. That’s the reason why I skipped DB today. I have to, I’ve got a feeling I’m falling sick soon.

Ok. MEB pop quiz, I’m going to fail I guess. I crapped my way through. i’m feeling so dead towards MEB. Early morning’s PIPC too. I don’t know what I did la. Just whack. I was so relax man. I like it. However, let’s test and see what’s the outcome yea? I learned to relax. Kinda.

However, I still ate ice-cream on the way home. Haha. Hazelnut Ice-cream. Cool.

Ok, found out PS’s blog today. Didn’t know she blog. “Ren Bu Ke Mao Xiang”. Ok, interesting I would say. Yup, expected: she thinks a lot too.

Think think think. Why do people think. Thoughts. Our thoughts. Why sometimes people go to an extend of thinking more? That’s one question I’ve been asking myself. W-H-Y. Why. Someone, post your comments.

Building up on PS’s blog; every individual is a droplet of rain/water/blah. As we move along in our life, we met different people, as we move on further, we met new people. On the way, people left the world, leaving you. Can you imagine that kind of feeling?

Let’s say we’re living till 75 years old. Going by priorities; relatives. Feel alright, maybe a little sad? Grandparents, aunties and uncles… Sadder? Next, parents. How much will you be crying? I’m crying and being sad for my grandmother’s death. As you age, it maybe your siblings. OMG. Then, maybe it’s your turn? Wife? You know what I’ll chose? I’ll leave last then.

Look, in your life there’s so many heart wrenching things you’ll be going through. I guess most of us have this thought when we were young; I want to hurry grow up! However for now, I do not appreciate it at all. People who once loved you, left. You’re lack of another voice of concern. How uneasy can that be? Death is a “Jie Tuo”.

Naturally, don’t be stupid and think of committing suicide so early. Setbacks are just part and parcel of life. Enjoy what you can that is provided here. Just think; nice buffet and delicious food, beautiful scenery which have yet to see!

After school, back at home I was chatting with my mother. Halfway through, she said, “that time your grandmother thought that Diana is coming to eat you know, and she specially open the dinning table in the living room, she was anxious.” “I told her next time. But, she really doesn’t have the fate to do so.”

These 2 sentences irk me. I felt my heart being pierced. Sucks! I badly want her back. But, can I? I just hope god would just give us a warning before she left. At least, we could do all the very last things.

Moral of the story, treasure the people around you.

Many things in our life, is not as important compared to family. It should be the first. For those who are Christians, religion first. However, what’s the credibility of every single thing produced out of religion? I am neutral and not biased. I believe every religion has their truth. People just misunderstand it and carry on passing it down. Career-minded ones, how much money can you earn? Bookworms, how much books can you ever finish?

What is our aim by doing all these and neglecting our family members? It’s only once in a life time. God gives you, treasure it. Not him. He’ll be there as long as you have him in the heart. Misused and misunderstand.

Thus, I would want to say; I love my family and every single one of them. I love you too, dearest.

Been busy with work, school and CCA. Therefore, didn’t had time to blog.

Today I had my dragon boat training at Kallang. Shagged. Immediately after reaching home, I grabbed my protein shake. Nice. It cost me $72 man (after discount). Usual price is $110. For those who maybe interested, it’s Whey Protein. I can actually feel the effect after taking it yesterday night. My muscle ache almost recovered fully.

It was a non-stop 2 hours sitting inside the dragon boat. My butt hurts a lot. If you’re interested, you can try next time. I also had my first running session during NOON time. Mind you, it’s 12PM hot sun. Anyway, many ran on the road half naked. I feel as if I was in army. Phew.

Luckily with people like R and B, if not I guess I would have quit long ago. Sometimes, it’s just difficult to have friends no matter how much you tried. You just won’t feel close to certain people. That’s what I call fate. Fate brings people around you closer.

Yesterday went out with her and her family. Yup, I enjoyed myself. First, you don’t have to worry about transport. You don’t have to walk much either. Boo was sick. I guess the people around him pass him the virus; poor little thing. I guess my dearest was sick due to him. KILL HIM. Haha. It was meant to be a joke.

I love animals too. However, I try to keep a distance. We’re animals but of different species. Who knows one day you may created a virus out of you and him? You never know nowadays man. You don’t harm him nor does it harm you. Love him, find him a partner to be close to him.

Anyway, I was quite irritated with G today. SMS keep coming in with questions. I checked with PS and she didn’t actually contact her. She always wants her way anyway - that was an excuse, so as it can be on Monday.

Anyway, I’m starting to find myself entertaining different groups of people weekly. Excluding my dearest of course! Last week was the lecturers but I enjoyed the trip. This week was DB, I didn’t quit enjoy myself actually. Wasn’t that FUN I would say.

Stress comes again after entertainment. Got to rush my tutorials, study lecture quiz coming up this Tuesday. Burnt week! And so is my body now. I guess it’ll be peeling soon.

Oh, you know who I saw at Pulau Ubin that time? Sebastian from Project Superstar. Wanted to “suan” by singing his last song. That was his worse performance man. Anyway saw Kelly Poon at President Star Charity just now. She’s beautiful! Sweet with elegance. Opps! She’s going to KILL ME I guess. Keke.

So now, it’s my Term Test and Dragon Boat’s Physical Test results:

Term Test:
OC - 35.5/50
PIPC - 34.5/50
MEB - 23.5/50
EM - 40.0/50
CSAS - 20.0/50 [Maybe Adding 1 More Mark]

Average GPA would be a B for the term test. However, including lecture quiz, lab work and tutorial quiz would be a B+ I guess. For the rest of my class, most got straight As.

DB’s IPPT:
Pull Up - 6.0
Sit Up - 57

Push Up:
Set 1 - 68
Set 2 - 79

2.4KM - 11 minutes 07 seconds

All the above are per minute basis except for 2.4KM. I do not think it was very fair. For those who turned for Tuesday training still suffered from muscle aches. For Pull Up, I usually do a 8 or 9 without aches. So I do not think I had improve. I still do not know how to use back muscles for Pull Up. 2.4KM was slow compared to my fastest timing at 10:11.

I hope I can get back the stamina. Another test will be up 1 month later! Ok, that’s all for today. Byez.

Today’s lab was boring. Structures of molecules were involved. Plug, unplug and show.

Today’s class discussion was conducted with great effort I guess. I’m gald that many of them participated. Some kept quiet. However, they were observers to me. One of them was WL. Got some feedback from her which I don’t think should be mention AC was usually quiet. I wonder what’s in his mind. KJ and SHA got G prompted a few times. They were of my concerns too. I’m glad that I didn’t need to raise them up and try to talk sense into her.

She was persistent but didn’t give others assurances. “I did before le”. It doesn’t show how experience you are, how successful it’ll be. To earn trust, some things has to be done and proven to be true. Have experiment it, get more witnesses about the successful rate. Do not give yourself a chance to be a clown in the whole event and things wasted. Successful rate, taste, packaging, processing are all linked up. 1 fail, the whole idea is destroyed. Why so harsh? Irrational.

Skip lecture. Welfare of the class isn’t her concern. Who’s so stupid to lose out? Some can afford to, some can’t. Be considerate. We’ve to minimize any form of risk. We shouldn’t allow it to affect our lessons unless it is really necessary.

Things do not go your way every time especially you are leading a group of people. You’ve to stand in their perception; “I CAN one”, “I’ll TAKE it”. Are you leading or are you doing it yourself? Where’s deployment? Where’s your team’s welfare concern? That’s leadership. Be cool, work smart, be fun, deploy work, be adventurous, be considerate.

L - Lead
E – Esprit de corps/ Endure
A - Adventurous
D – Discipline
E - Empathize
R - Rational
S - Smart
H - Honest
I - Integrity
P – Patience

BREAK!

Quarrels again and again. DAMN. Irks! I’m going MAD, CRAZY, LAZY & WHATEVER!

FINAL!

Don't PISS ME!

I don't know why. There was once when someone told me she'll cherish me. I felt so ignored by the treatment and attitude. I hate it. I hate the insecurities. Why must things be told then it'll be done? I suppose many things come by so naturally? Comparing to the past it's so different! Let's see what happens when I am not going to do anything about it anymore! Go, stray! Damn! No liars this time.

Having sleepy eyes, yet waiting for her SMS. Today’s DB training somehow seems shag. However it’s not surprising. I skipped last week’s run. 2 weeks never run, 1.6 KM can’t even speed up. Timing was 8 minutes plus. Luckily, it’s not 4 KM. It is sure to kill me. Don’t know why but I lost the kick of running. Didn’t like running that much now. I guess there’s obstruction, that I am worried about; my appendicitis. I’m so afraid to be hospitalized again. I should have it cut the other time.

Today, presented the ladies idea for CCN during APEL. Hope that Mr Teong didn’t get very mad. None of them came up with any reports. While presenting and writing, I felt as if I was back in NCC. Satisfied.

Still wondering, how will my OC result be? Quite worried about it.

Ok. So I promised to mention her name. Who’s the HER I’ve been talking about? Diana Chew WJ. Think she’ll have her butts in her air after reading this entry. Yup, she’s my love. That’s all. Nothing to hide.

I really do hope to be treasured and appreciated. By having said that, sometimes a simple SMS in between your lessons will make the day. Sometimes for a reason, I wonder why.

I miss the past. The days we spent. Maybe people grow up, relationship changes over time. Maybe knowing each other later may do you good in certain aspects. Perfect. I enjoy listening to Simple Plan. I could get the lyrics very clearly. Meaningful.

Lately, I haven't been enjoying my sleep at night. It's so difficult to get to sleep. I hope I can make it tonight. Insomnia. Aiks.

Have been quite lazy to blog for the past few days. Saturday was the Pulau Ubin Trip with the lecturers. It was fun. Heard many stories from Dr Ong. He had many opinions of different students on our class. I wonder what it is his opinion about me. He gave so many names to the group of guys too. Haha.

During the whole process of the trip, he “suaned” Lecturer Lim AL. I think he got quite mad. Just wonder how does it feel to you if you’re a lecturer and “suaned” by the other in front of the teens? I wonder if his face is always expressionless because, throughout the trip, his face showed nothing. LOL. As Dr Ong said, he always do that to him. I guess he is immunized to it.

We paid nothing for the trip. Let’s calculate bumboat $4 back and fore. $8 for bike rental from 8 – 6 PM. Coconut drink, $2. Soft drinks, $1. Lunch subsidized $2.50 by Dr Ong. $17.50! Moreover, there are 4 of us plus 1 more year 3 student. That’s 5. $87.50. Isn’t it nice?

At some areas of the trip, I smelled the mosquito repellent which is often use in OBS. The smell brought me back to about 2 years ago when I had my OBS mobile. Somehow while I am blogging right now, I remember the days where I had my feelings for her. Wooing her and waiting for her reply. I remember I missed her so badly during the 5 days! She was lovely too. She took down every lesson’s happenings on foolscap. So “xi xin”! Touch.

Today got no dragon boat training! Trainings have been changed to Tuesday and Thursday for this week. And on Thursday, it’s physical test. Hopefully my muscles recover on time after Tuesday training.

Today is a great day to be. No DB and got sufficient rest/sleep finally. However, got a few thing to be done; proposal for CCN day, MEB and EM tutorials. I guess no one did the proposal and tomorrow got APEL.

Feeling so great today! Sweet and lovely. It seems like I’m sounding girlish. Aiks.

Quite anxious about CSAS results today. Got 18.5/20 but added 1.5 marks after my explanations. So, 20/25. However, may be adding 1 more mark. Ms S has to check with her colleague. PS got the top for CSAS. Congrats. Luckily, it’s not some others again. Top for the cohort is 23/25 from BMS. It was close.

Some news, do not know if it’s true. Average mean for the 25 classes, AD11 got top followed by AD14. ChemEng has won the race?

Chatted with PS a few minutes ago over the MSN. Enlightened. Manage to figure out something which I had miss out. Thanks. I felt better.

Tried talking to her; however I didn’t get much feedback. Maybe she doesn’t understand. Or maybe she does. She knows me the best I guess. The reason behind would be because we were on rocks and that’s why. I miss her hug.

Tomorrow will be the Pulau Ubin trip. Hopefully by traveling overseas, I’ll have a better semester. Haha. I do hope I’ll gain some useful vales & blah from the lecturers. I hope.

OC got 4As in our class. Hope I can be one of them? Fat hope?

Hopes, that’s so much of our lives when things are done. We can only try to strive before anything happens.

Today was a long day. 6 hours of non-stop hits (lectures). Haiz. Tired. Sick. Sick of many things that’s around me. Irritated.

I had a sleepless night yesterday. We quarreled before sleep. Cool. Anyway, guess she had a good sleep. She didn’t bother. I don’t know why. Sometimes people can just don’t bother and do what they like. However, when it comes to me, I’ll make sure other’s heart is very best assured. Assurances always give people a sense of comfort and security. I dislike people to worry. Thus, often I would be an obedient boy.

Got back PIPC test result. For a moment, it was lower than expected. I flipped through the pages, 6 marks of careless mistakes. 3 marks for identifying the ions. I did not identify. But rather, I answered the next sentence of the question: “Indicate the charge clearly whenever possible.” I showed all the charge for all the ions. But I didn’t identify them. I wondered what had happen to my eyes at that moment! It was a heart stabbing mistake.

Next, 1 of the MCQ, convert 8709L/min to gallon/hr. converted to gallons but not to per hr. Fuck!

Do not wish to mention the rest. Careless careless careless.

I remember I when I had AM tuition last year, I asked him this question. How to avoid careless mistake? He said, care less. When you care less, you won’t be careless. It’s when you cared too much, it becomes careless. There’s some truth in it though. You still check and care, but don’t be so fussy about gritty gritty things.

I’m still trying to change and to improve my exams habits. It’s very difficult. It’s always my cause of downfall. 平时想的东西太多了, 到了紧要关头时, 就把测验搞砸.

Pissed. Very pissed off by someone. I do not know why. I hate the attitude, the treatment. I feel more like a guardian than a care-giver.

I thought that the bus ride would be a nice talk over. However, I turned out to be a companion once more. I should be a bus driver.

The wait for bus 17 was longer than usual. The ride too. It’s so different when you’re alone and with someone. After I board the bus, I rest my on the cushion. Terribly tired. Some how, I smsed and said what I wanted to say. Anger turned into disappointment and hurt. Lost. Without knowing, tears rolled down. I needed a shoulder, better; a hug.

I broke down. No one to share the pain I feel. Studies stress, peer pressure (cause many are getting good marks in my class), pressure from relationship. I miss my grandma somehow. I wondered if she’s in somewhere more peaceful than I am.

I miss her badly. I had hardly talked to her ever since I started my secondary school life. Regrets. The last time we spent time together was she dyed my hair for me. My dearest grandma, I miss you.

Had quite a relax Wednesday today. Usually around this time, I’m mentally knock out. Won’t even be blogging right now. Anyway, I would like to add on to yesterday’s entry. It may sound offensive to those who are in my class. Innocent ones also got it. However, conscience should be clear if you are not one of them.

Today’s lab session ended very early. The class finished lab at around 1355 hrs. However, we were only allowed to leave at 1415 hrs. Our time was burnt listening to “stories”. I had received some feedback on Pulau Ubin trip which will be this Saturday. SH & PS are not working. I guess some sacrificing was done. I appreciated their effort. But for those who gave unacceptable reasons. No comments.

I rushed back home for late lunch and tidy up some ends in my work. Had an hour nap, and back to school again for dragon boat training. I came late and missed running 2.4 KM. Phew. Great. Today’s training for me was 40 Pull-ups and Gym training. It was more of muscles endurance than usual mental endurance. I like it. At least it will be easy for me on Thursday which is usually a long day of lectures. Everything ended early than usual. I guess captain was shag and that’s why.

Anyway, there are some things which I would like to say. Can PEOPLE stop asking others “I shuai not”? Or whatever it is regarding looks. It’s so thick skin. If he is going to ask me one day, I would say: “Yes, you’re shuai (Bad Luck in Chinese) but not shuai (Handsome in Chinese)”. 2 different yin. Come on, did any one watch Project Superstar? Xu Huan Liang, one of the judges said (translated in English): “The reputation of cute or handsome is not given by one self nor by asking others. It’s given by others to you, without them being asked by you”.

Oh my god, get a life man.

All right, if you’re one who does that, it’s still ok in a way; it can be a joke. However, when it becomes too often, it’s thick skin. Advice to one, get a girlfriend or do it on her. But please, don’t do it so often either. You’ll scare her off. Anyway, super vain-spot. I wonder how you’ll survive during army.

God bless you.

It has been long ever since I started blogging. And surprisingly, you can see my last entry was last year. Time flies. I’ll not talk about what has happen over the few months. LOR SO le. Anyway, feeling quite sucky today. MEB, 23.5/50. Scored highest among the failures? Cool?

Lecturer: er.. Where is JY?
ME: Here.
Lecturer: This is your quiz paper.
(YES! A liao! 16/20! I'm draw with PS.)
Lecturer: But er.. what happen to your term test huh..
(Shit, failed. Deep down my heart, OMG!)
Lecturer: Maybe you blank or something during the exams huh.. You may want to share with me after lessons..
(Silence in ME)
Lecturer: I can see you're trying hard and you're a good student..
(Of course la)
Class: Eh..

For a moment my heart sank. However I expected it. While doing the test, I didn't know what I was really doing. Miss hands are moving, Mr Brain is not. Demoralising. I kept very quiet for lunch. My friends are like, "OK not? You're not yourself le and blah blah". Of course I'm not OK and I'm not myself! By asking, it just makes the person feel worse. He needs to be alone and sort out his thoughts. Many took up psychology as their CDS. Yet, they never tried to learn before taking up.

On the surface, by asking is showing concern. However, many do not understand one thing. How do you feel if you're in that person's shoes and you're prompt? Anyway, thanks. No offence. I understand it's always meant to be a consoling session right after something bad happen.

EM got 40/50. In fact it was 39.5. Find and begged for 0.5 marks. Kiasu right? It can't be help. TD04 is too competitive.

On the surface, we're united, we share, we coach each other. Call for study group? "Don't want la.. Ma Fan la.. I think many want to study ourselves.. blah blah.." We're top or whatever so what? Hello, there're the helpless people in your class! One of them haven't been getting good results. Anyone notice it? (Not ME) NO.

What are all these for? A play from Monday to Friday for the lecturers? To praise TD04 is a good class?

Seriously, this class is not working at all! Who's there to bond the class? It'll be tiring if no one participates! Definitely NO FUN and don't say MA FAN.

Pissed by the class meeting.

Selfish, Hypocritical, Arrogant, Self-centred, Lazy, No Enthusiasm.

Psychology? Put others before yourself. If not you'll never know and understand the real reason behind. Feel it.

We're not moving. We'll split. I guess no one cares. Nobody listens.

歌手：梁静茹
词曲;作词：阿管　
作曲：林毅心
编曲：Mool/Yugi 　

彷彿上一分钟　你还陪在我左右　
还以为我们会开花结果
我还记得玫瑰色天空　
却模糊了我们的脸孔　
哼过的歌到底是什么内容

彷彿已经自由　下一刻我变成风　
吹过你的领空　差点失控　
回忆在夜里闹得很凶　
我想我可以明白你所有的痛　
想让你知道我懂　却担心言不由衷

我们都接受　一定是彼此不够成熟
在爱情里分不了轻重 诚实得过了头　
不能退后也无法向前走　
爱是一个自私的念头　把寂寞消除的理由
剩下的那些感动　能记得多久

彷彿已经自由　下一刻我变成风　
吹过你的领空　差点失控　
回忆在夜里闹得很凶　
我想我可以明白你所有的痛　
想让你知道我懂　却担心言不由衷

我们都接受　一定是彼此不够成熟　
在爱情里分不了轻重　诚实得过了头　
不能退后也无法向前走　
爱是一个自私的念头　把寂寞消除的理由　
剩下的那些感动　能记得多久

我们都接受　一定是彼此不够成熟　
在爱情里分不了轻重　诚实得过了头　
不能退后也无法向前走　
爱是一个自私的念头　把寂寞消除的理由　
剩下的那些感动　能记得多久

作词：Sandy/Wing 作曲：Wing

大声说爱我

站在 街头望着远方灯火
明月 闪烁像在提醒着我
来来往往的人群 之中
有多少颗星 在黑夜浮动

繁星 点点到底哪颗是我
而你 是否也在好唤醒空
不停转动守在我的时候
天长地久到世界尽头

只要大声说爱我
说愿陪在我左右
我会笑着说 你将是我的港口
只要你大声说你永远爱我
你会发现有我 每一分钟

怎么隐藏　我的悲伤　
失去你的地方 你的发香　
散的匆忙　我已经跟不上
闭上眼睛　还能看见　
你离去的痕迹 在月光下　
一直找寻　那想念的身影

如果说分手　是苦痛的起点　
那在终点之前　我愿意再爱一遍
想要对你说的　不敢说的爱　
会不会有人　可以明白

我会发着呆　然后忘记你　
接着紧紧闭上眼 想着哪一天　
会有人代替　让我不再想念你

我会发着呆　然后微微笑　
接着紧紧闭上眼 又想了一遍　
你温柔的脸　在我忘记之前
心里的眼泪　模糊了视线　
你已快看不见

琥珀色黄昏像糖在很美的远方
你的脸没有化妆我却疯狂爱上
思念跟影子在傍晚一起被拉长
我手中那张入场券陪我数羊
薄荷色草地芬芳像风没有形状
我却能够牢记你的气质和脸庞
冷空气跟琉璃在清晨很有透明感
像我的喜欢 被你看穿

摊位上一朵艳阳 我悄悄出现你身旁
你慌乱的模样 我微笑安静欣赏

我顶着大太阳 只想为你撑伞
你靠在我肩上 深呼吸怕遗忘
因为捞鱼的蠢游戏我们开始交谈
多希望话题不断圆游会永不打烊

汽球在我手上 我牵着你瞎逛
有话想对你讲 你眼睛却装忙
鸡蛋糕跟你嘴角果酱我都想要尝
圆游会影片在播放 这个世界约好一起逛

What a week? Miss Chan SS has been absent for 3 days. Physics maybe soon CMI but no matter what I’ll still got to try to understand. The last few topics are quite difficult to understand.

The week has been busy and filled with tones of work, stress. O’s are coming and many of us do not seem to have the drive to fly. I guess the studying hours have really tired everyone out. The lack of sleep usually results in the lack of drive to move on.

Sadly, the Principle and Teachers do not understand. They just pressured the students all the way. There is a need to sleep! Otherwise how do we concentrate? Lessons this week has been OK. One of the days was in Science Lab. A good environment to have I should say. But the “ma fan” thing is our books that were kept in school.

Lessons were alright, except for AE Maths. E.T is moving very fast sometimes. Many students in the class couldn’t catch it suppose. Ricky is one of those that have been struggling as he just told me recently.

Trigo and Log differentiation and integration can be quite a killing topic. I haven’t start memorizing them even. I did memorize them before but soon I’ve forgotten them when I didn’t use it. It can be demoralizing but I guess it’s time to have some catching up with trigo and log friends. I’m going to make sure they’re my best of friends and I’ll be able to use them to my advantage in the Prelims and O’s.

There’re very little time left and I’m starting to worry. The nightmares are here and I’m hoping that it’ll be over soon. 3 bloody more months to over O’s. I guess we should have a countdown for that in class as well. I can’t wait for that kind of life Stress Free life to come. I’m looking forward for that as well. Hopefully everything will be over with beautiful dreams that come true later on.

I’ve been very lazy to blog recently. Partly is because of school work and the tiring days that gone by. Anyway, the school’s parade is quite well done by the students. There were a few mistakes here n there which was minor, if people do not know. Anyway, SM has done a good job.

The award ceremony was a very long one. I find it a waste of time. There’s something which I want to say, the school is very cheapskate. There prize wasn’t that well made. The quality is average. From far it looks nice. A close look will be like a shit.

I wonder why the hell the school has to present award for the seniors. Anyway, the award isn’t useful for them after the secondary school life. Not many people of their batch have come to share their joy and glory. So, what is it for? I wonder if all these were for show.

At the reception, the food wasn’t enough. Many KIASU people took a lot. I miss the cream puff. It was finished in just a short time. I guess teacher who have came down late didn’t catch it at all.

Anyway, Jay’s album is out and it’s indeed nice. I’ve also been busy listening to them. LOLX. Anyway, this album’s music is compose by Jay himself and 2 of the songs he composed the lyrics. Anyway, his album has hit 1.08 million in the recent Straits Times for only the past 5 day. I guess the number will keep rising.

Recently got a nice chat with E.T over the net and a little demoralizing I guess. But overall I did learn some things and know how to go about moving on.

Anyway, today is National Day. I would like to say Happy Birthday Singapore. Yesterday heard PM Goh saying his last words. Quite touching I guess and also I would like to say that he has lead Singapore well for the past 14 years. We could see his contributions together with his subordinates. Anyway, Singapore has been prospering only till recent years due to the crisis.

I guess these few days have been great staying at home. I’ve been getting so lazy to get out of the house. I’ve got a new hair cut recently and I seriously like it. Wahaha.

Ok, so here’s some Jay Chou’s Lyrics that I would like to share:

借口

词曲:周杰伦

翻着我们的照片 想念若隐若现
去年的冬天 我们笑得很甜
看着你哭泣的脸 对着我说再见
来不及听见 你已走得很远

也许你已经放弃我
也许已经很难回头
我知道自己错过
请再给我一个理由 说你不爱我

就算是我不懂 能不能原谅我
请不要把分手当作你的请求
我知道坚持要走 是你受伤的藉口
请你回头 我会陪你一直走到最后

就算没有结果 我也能够承受
我知道你的痛 是我给的承诺
你说给过我从容 沉默是因为包容
如果要走 请你记得我
如果难过 请你忘了我