The End. A New Stage.

This is a 2 page essay dedicated to AD34...

Now the mood comes, and of course it came after reading the post from KJ. Things need to be clarified. If it’s done face to face, situations will either get worse or the class will bond once again and to a higher level. Like what we learned in CSAS 1, a group will get better after a storm. It’s just a passing stage. However, I guess with different perceptions, grudges are bound to be held in the heart.

I hope that this post will help the class get together, be more understanding towards each other. Let’s not think about whether doing these is worth for this person or don’t. Let’s treat all equally and doing it for the worthiness of class bondage, for friendships, for more friends and not enemies.

Personally, I have too. I have grudges for accusations, for the many things I have not done against various people in the class. I sense the eyes and the talks behind my back. After the 3 years, and after spending some time alone, I would say thanks to AD34. For those who have been acting, you can finally put to a stop. The following said are sincere words and not sarcasm or “fake” words which you guys may regard as…

Thank you AD34 for making my life in polytechnic colorful. We had good times, we had bad times. The problem with us is we just do not dare to face each other and mistrust grew fonder. Of course, the different amount of effort that was put into different projects makes certain people dislike certain people further. Life being colorful isn’t about just the good times. It consists of bad times in which whether a not we have overcome them.

Definitely here are people whom I may wish to mention. However, it’s not fault picking nor like what KJ said, to stir up a war. No offence seriously.

First and foremost, I would like to thank Alistair for being a great buddy for the past 3 years. In many good and bad times, you had been with me. Although sometimes, you’re overly kiasu-er than me, but I understand your desperateness to stay competitive in the cohort. We had shared the mental shag-ness in DB, and you had shared my pain, my happiness by being a great listener and consoler. I thank you and regard you as my best of all friends in my polytechnic years. Thank you for your trust, understanding and whatever help you have given when I needed them.

Here’s the discussion of the class. The class could have been very bonded. However, the key lies on 3 major people in the class. They are considered as influential to certain people, and would lead the unwilling ones to go even.

Of course there are always the anything people and quit spotting. The people who are of course anything are the group of wonderful Malay classmates whom I seriously appreciate, me, Alistair, Ruben and of course SC.

First of all is Wei Ming. You have the persuasive ability to make the girls in the class to attend for anything. As long as u speak. Hence, semester 2.2 class chalet was a success. You voiced your interest and a few of us actually further developed it. Your weakness is by mood. When you’re happy, you can go very well with anyone. You like to choose what you like to do, what you feel is worth or not worth doing. Hence, you’ve brought 2 girls with you in year 3 with other groups of friends in the cohort. The class split as you’ve neglected your form class.

Although I’ve said that you’re the one who forged the attendance for Wang Liang, to a few people. It’s because I saw it and like YL prompted me if I had done. You know no one likes to be accused. However, since you insist that you didn’t. I don’t blame people to think that I am finding fault with you or tries to create a scene. My conscience is clear. And that perhaps in a way, I’ve remember wrongly or you’ve forgotten what you’ve done since it’s actually a small matter to us? I bare no grudges against you and I hope that you don’t too. For any misunderstandings, I here to apologies and I do not wish to make enemies with anyone. Hence, for the rest of the people in the class, let’s put this incident aside.

The second person is Yuan Long. You’re an escapist. You have the ability to bond with 3 guys, namely KJ, SC and WL. You have the ability to persuade them but you chose the path of not opening your heart to more friends. You make friends EASIER with people you sympathize with, feeling that they’re like your situations. Those who make friends easily, you tend to shift from them. You understand people, but you don’t quit get yourself. Perhaps, its past experiences which shaped you that way. You got to open your heart and accept more variety of people in life. It’ll be good.

The third person is silent Jeremy. I do not blame you because your character is anti-social. I’ve known you through internship. It was great understanding you. If you’re spotting with the class, I guess most of the time ZW or Shuan will attend, more people, the merrier.

For many who’re thinking about the incident between me, shahrez and wei lian. It was a problem of friendship and love. I am not playing the 3rd party of course, I’ve got a girlfriend. It’ll still remain as a past and not be revealed to the rest of the class due to the need to respect privacy of others. Thank you Shahrez for letting me learned that hard way. I still and love you as my CB! Good Friend. =). I will not forget the help you gave for my UO2, and allowed me to attain a B+.

For that incident, I also would like to comment something for Peishan (Do not be offended). Do not act blur because sometimes in life when you know there’s no turn back, you need to stand for what’s justified at the back of your mind, for what you’ve see or hear, then things would be easier to handle. At least for this case, I wouldn’t need to try so hard to explain myself. Perhaps you take consequence as finding trouble for yourself, but you may complicate people and situations further. No offence or you can take it no serious matter.

The next person is; Suhua. Do not discriminate people for things they’ve done be it right or wrong, be it known or unknown situations. Let’s learn to forgive and forget, then you don’t have to act. I hope that you do not regard people or be wary of people as “fake”. As learned in sociology, things will be a self-labeled and physiologically, you’ll be affected. You’ll never be able to accept them back. Making more friends is better than making more enemies isn’t it? Then, hope you control your temper and mood bah… otherwise sometimes you may just spoil the relationship with people.

Never forgetting the thanks… Thank you to you Ruben, for trusting and companying me through one of my saddest moment in polytechnic life at CPTC. Thanks. You’ve been a regarded as a great friend I know, the super UP social skills you have. It’s impressive, seriously.

As for Gowri, you may be the toughest person to deal with for my 3 years for various assignments with you. However, you’ve made me learn to deal with more variety of people and you made me stronger team player, and improved my editing skills. Perhaps, your project skills maybe as private limited as my knowledge. Hence, we balanced up. No more grudges but thanks.

Lastly, it will be for Shuan. If less sarcasm and suaning from you, you could have made more true friends rather than activities friends whom you laugh along with. That’s the path you chose though. No blames. I’ve learned to be less serious with those sarcasms/ suans which you have gave. You made me a better survivor. Thanks too. But you owe a apology to Alistair for the RED slippers!

All the best for the future! Once again, thanks (w/love & understanding).

Semester 2.2 Class Chalet

Shahrez's One Man Show:

A Denial of Deception

A denial of deception. How great this suits the theme of my blog all these while. At that point of time, I remember clearly what happened... I knew deep down inside... However, there was a denial of deception even if a direct question was asked.

Time flies, without knowing some of us are either 20 or turning 20. Life becomes more complicated as we grew older. It's US, ourselves who made it complicated. When we were young, we were all so pure, as we grew older, we're contaminated by the surrounding. Or should I say adults who did not show good enough examples?

I still remember days ago, I shared this part of my memory with PS. Telling her how I was accused and caned innocently during my primary school days. Hence I guess I should share this part of my "shameful" life...

Mischieviously, a group if kids including me went to the hall daily during recess time to play wrestling, jumping on the big mattress which was intended for sports use. To be specific, it was a mattress for you to land safely on after you jump across a bar of a certain height (forgotten the name of the sports). Then feeling thirsty, I went down to the canteen to buy yakult to drink. Without knowing, after I went back i saw my group of friends scolded by the Principal. Feeling scared, I went down and waited for their ordeal to be over. Back at class, my friend called me for an appointment with the Principal, for a rotan session and I was accused for running away. You can't possibly ask me to go back while they are having scolding isn't it? Of course, for the Alex I am now, I would. Luckily, the canning wasn't hard with a magazine tuck inside my pants. Thinking back in the perception of my Principal back then, it's just a action to scare the kids so that they will not do it again.

Feeling ashame, I did not dare to tell my parents. Till I grew older when we had one of those sharing sessions talking about life, I told my parents. It was then, I felt the shame was gone and the stone left my heart. It feels great. From then, I know being honest is the best policy. Don't tell me reality doesn't apply. If everyone are back to the basics, we're actually much less complicated.

From then, I've never lied till now. Not just only my family, it include my girlfriends and for everyone I knew. Closer ones will know more about my life, not so close knows less. Other than that, nothing was fake. I am myself, I speak for myself, I speak what I feel I should. I know the disadvantage of these is that, I may offend some people. However, to think about it for those who treat you seriously will say the truth. Only those who consider you as unworthy, will never dare to say out a single thing.

I remember there was once, I almost broke up due to a lie or rather something which my girlfriend doesn't want me to know and lied. I always believe that being the real you will make either people accept you or not. At least for what happened, I was genuine and never let you down. Hence, never let me down either.

It's amazing how people analysze situations after reading through blogs after blogs or nicks after nicks. Although people always emphasize on the phase " don't assume", they feel that they had not, but actually they had. Back at their mind, they are either suspecting, thinking and sometimes to a point they had actually start to discriminating.

Like what KJ wrote in his blog, I agree with what he said. When you don't see, don't jump to conclusion. Would you like to be accused? I guess YL should understand how I must have felt when he prompt me the other time on the issue. You don't even analysze on the situation nor think about it, you go look for evidence.


Anyway, it's easy to identify if we want to. Just think about who has the closest relation and similarity in the pen ink for that day. Otherwise, the elderly wouldn't have hinted in the admist of speech. Then, it would be obvious. Who has been the criminal/hypocrite, you analysze.

However, I ain't an old man but witness... I remember clearly...

In this case, there's only 2 conclusion I can give. A denial of deception with help of a good package cover OR a forgotten guilt. After all, time has past so long and whoever he was, he COULD have forgotten if he has done it or not. Like what the class see, it was a small matter but the elderly sees it more importantly. Hence, the latter could be a possibility. I don't blame him.

My Life, My Perception.

Somehow, I feel a little emotional. To a point, I remember my blog; to blog, to get my feelings down over my dear e-diary.

Looking over the past months, life seems to past very quickly. I’ve got my license months ago during one of the days in SIP. Life seems to be a little so sick sometimes. Still, I learn every part of it, appreciating every moment of it.

Just like a normal boy, I’ve got to wake up early for work. Sometimes waking up as early 5 plus a.m in the morning during the first few weeks, reaching home as late as 8pm. Though the frequency of such circumstances seems seldom, I often labeled these days as the difficult days where God tries to make things difficult for me. Especially those times when you missed a buy and you got to wait for goddamn 20 minutes and later on squeezing and standing, paying $0.65 for less than 2.4km bus rides.

Flashback on days being a newbie towards taking MRT, I’ve got to squeeze like “shiat” at doors and I remember having a 40 year old aunty face as close as I could see every blemishes she have despite the make-ups she tries to put on. Despite the tiredness which I suffered from traveling, I’ve got nights which I’ve got to entertain friends and girlfriend who is free way back before examinations, hoping to spend some good time with me. Yet, there were quarrels which makes me feeling even lethargic towards tomorrow.

Still and no doubt, comparing the life of luckier others, I ain’t very lucky after all. Rich kids can have cars to drive to work daily for their SIP. Even if SIP is at Jurong or Tuas, life isn’t so difficult after all. At least, they do not have to wait for bus, rush for MRT the moment they see the “arriving in 1 minute” and you got to run up escalators up to the platform. Looking at time every quarterly when reaching the destination, to take note of coming bus, and rush from platform to interchange the moment you alight the MRT. The next thing which I did and not many other do is to rush for the internal shuttle bus in NUS the moment you saw it and uncles do not give a damn sometimes, despite looking at you running after it. Thus, sometimes I gave up hope of waiting and walk up slope, run up slope. These precious times, could save me getting home earlier, having more time for myself.

At this moment I realized problems which I had in relationship. If you think that having a rich girlfriend and most of the time, you could be happy, then you’re wrong. I realized myself being able to taste and caught in between the feeling of being rich and not so rich. Being rich, often than not, you tend to be pampered. However, not necessary spoiled usually, pampered with good food, nice clothing, accessories, car to drive anytime you like. In amidst of enjoyment, we sometimes forgotten our very love ones. No doubt I may forget sometimes. However, every start of my enjoyment of a rich kid, I remember my parents, my family, my friends who ain’t so rich, hoping that they’re around, enjoying life with me.

You may ask, what’s with having car to drive, or rather being pampered? Being able to enjoy good food and personal materials, you forgot what’s bad. You tend to be more money minded, you want to be rich. You can’t stand the fact if your boyfriend says, “What if I can’t afford you to live like what you’re living now?” You’ll question him and tell him why is it that he can’t do it and etc. However, not say he’s not trying. He’s looking for an answer, an answer he seek. A truth - you want bread or do you want love. For love, no matter what lies ahead in the future, we’ll always learn to work out together as one. However, people change and we became more negligent towards feelings, when you’ve the extending privilege to use or do what you can as you grow up. Patience, once a virtue admired, now lost.

If you notice, rich people tend to forget about time. For them, money isn’t a problem. Hence, midnight taxis aren’t a problem to them. They’ll choose to hang out late. They prefer nightlife, and often than not, its more expensive. They tend to be less punctual, and do not keep track of time. They can either get a cab or drive on their own, they rush and later they complained tired and not doing this or that well, because you rush them. Yet, they’ve took the time in the world to bathe, to make up to pack. They can’t seem to pack finish. There’s always things left undone.

Perhaps, being the majority pack in the MRT/buses train the sense of urgency, punctuality and being less forgetful. Why? It all boils down to time. We know if we didn’t do something, we’ll be very very very LATE. If you didn’t prepare the night before, you’ll have to waste some time preparing in the morning, and if you woke up late by a little, everything’s going to slow down, you’ll reach bus stop late, you can’t reach the bus stop before the clock hits the next quarter, you’ll miss at least 3 MRT, you’ll later miss the next bus and so on.

Logical? Virtues are cultivated and not meant to be taken for granted. Especially when your love ones treat you with patience, never forget that they never blasted at you despite mistaken done umpteen times by you. Negligence is not inevitable, it depends on the love you have in heart.

I guess my parents did well in controlling privileges I’m allowed and not allowed. Though these are some complaints about life, I know I’m born into the right family which both my mum and dad give their unconditional love, never neglect any of us.

It was great to taste the making of my mum’s chili combined with my dad’s skills of chili crab and they’re unstoppable weekly marketing for fresh food. I’ll also never stop loving those durians my dad chose. He’s just too skilful. I wonder if I could be as good as him and have a wife as good as my mum persistence in us. Though, there were bad times, after all we still grow and matured into disciplined adults.

I ask myself again… what’s love…?

I hope we can go through hardships… so we’ll learn and grow together…

Series of UPs & DOWNs.

Somehow life hasn't been so good these days. Seems like this period of my life is a series of downfall and failures. Happenings these weeks...

Sadly, I didn't get the electives I wantg although R actually helped me to register on the day itself. My itchy handness did a re-login and somehow my selection timing was reset. Emailed OSP, LTK, TPN and ZS; but yet I still didn't get my reply. LTK only said that ZS will check and get back to me... Still I'm waiting..

Secondly, I failed my TP. Yes. FAILED. Shock? I'm just bloody 'suay'. For ciruit component, I was perfect. No demerit points. On the way out, I had a bloody motorbike learner coming into the lane which I was about to switch (still in the circuit) and when I was about to check my blindspot and to brake, the Tester did a E brake for me. I knew it's all over. It's immediate failure. Still, he allowed me to go on the road and evaluate me. Over at a junction, it was green light so I go. However, a stupid Nissan Car cut into my lane in the admist of the junction. WTF. Then he switched back as he sees the Chevron marking, resulting in a very intimate situation between cars. Fcuk. I did my brake before the Chevron and waited for opportunity behind the chevron to switch lane. He said that I had slow reaction, gave me 10 demerit points. At least for that, I was a safe driver? What kind of fast reaction can you expect with cars all packed?

Due to driving lessons and etc, now my work just all piled up. So much of analysis and interpretating of results I just learnt from my Senior. Zzz.

Lucky next week Supervisior is taking a few days off as his wife is going to due soon. Hopefully can don't go work when my experiment has to be run for like 1/2 days..

"Life isn't difficult, sometimes it's just not so fair. Life would be better ahead. No matter how tough life is, it just can't be compared to those who are experiencing worst. God is fair; when you have one thing, you lose the other. Contentment is the key to work towards success."

"Setbacks are meant to be set on your back, to allow you to put them on the path you're walking towards to - Success."

I've picked myself up. Thanks Darling.

"Nothing is more beautiful than the Love that has weathered through the storms of Life."

Orh.. Sometimes I feel man are so egoistic. All they cared is their face. If face is important, then I guess character is more important. Humble is seriously a virtue. The more ego you are, the uglier you are, no matter how much you try to save your face. Bring maturity to higher level please? Thanks.

MY SIP, MY MP.

Alright. Here’s fast update of my life for the past 2 weeks,

First of all, my SIP = MP. Almost everyday when I’ve reached IMRE, I’ll be doing my MP. My SIP is like only during laboratory experiment where I need to carry out experiment for my MP. Sorry for the English though, I’m too tired to type properly. Still got to type report after this.

Working hours has been very flexible. We can go home as early as 10am in the morning if you’ve got to run a experiment for 2 days. The latest I’ve been released was like 3.30pm. Bless? VERY.

Working environment has been very good. Supervisors and people are friendly or otherwise introvert and talk to their apparatus only. It’s a environment I’ve seen very much less of politics. Unlike in TP sometimes, you can always hear people badmouthing who and who. I guess that’s the result of KIASU Singaporeans. It’s when you’re afraid of losing, then you start to ‘suan’ or badmouth? It’s very much of the ego.

For meals, we’ve to take a 5 minutes walk to NUS Business canteen. Meals are very much cheaper than in TP; cheap with large quantity. Tea breaks are provided in IMRE as well; with tea and biscuits served in the break area. The biscuits ain’t those cheapo type nor those very EX lah. Rather, it’s reasonable and nice to enjoy; wafers biscuits and those. 6 in 1 Nescafe Drinks machine are available 24/7; ranging from Teh Tariks, Café Mocha, milo, cappuccino and etc. There are trays which you can make Chinese tea, tea, add as much coffee mate like what Jeremy Tan does.

Basically, I call this part of my life enjoyment. Although the tedious part is the logbooks and reports, I’ve got no complaints. Somehow, MS Word seems rusty to me. It has been sometime since I last use for editing and projects. Zzz.

I’ve also got a new laptop. Darn cool. It’s running at 2GHz Duo Core, 2GB ram, 160 (5400rpm) Sata HDD, Nvidia Gforce grahics card (8400x I think) and DVD writer with lightscribe technology (means that you can print picture on your CD), and 2MP in-built webcam. It also has a remote control to say play your movies and etc, it can also function as a ppt. slide remote..!

It was good specs with good bargain and 7 free gifts worth like $350 plus after calculating free gifts prices. My new 2GB Smart Disk Thumb Drive also look very cool. Hahaha. It was a need to improve conveniency when I need a computer in IMRE. The computers are old and quite screwed up. It is lag and sometimes when you’re doing your MP and after typing a lot, it suddenly restart. Zzz.

I’m Happy but my Dad is broke. Hahaha.

There was a quote I caught on IMRE laboratory door:

If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.

This is seriously a fast entry. Good bye.

3 Weeks of Rest & Enjoyment.

These 3 weeks had been a good one. Good rest, good time with people I spent with. Sadly, it’ll be coming to an end. These 2 days I was busy changing the skin of my computer; from XP to Vista alike. I had a great time changing system files but subsequently I found a program Vista Transformation Pack after much researching. It had save me time creating a Login Screen & Boot Screen. I couldn’t copy screen of my Login Screen & Boot Screen. But here’s a preview of my desktop now:

Cool?

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1st June 2007. BBQ @ The Bayshore.

This BBQ was organize by Aldric, Raymond and Henry; the people with bikes & a van. Cool isn’t it? Seriously thanks for organizing this BBQ. I give my full appreciation. I guess this is simply the best of the best BBQ with wonderful and delicious food. It’s simply great!

There are… Crabs, Prawns, Sotongs, Stingray (plain but fresh, due to lack of time to marinate), sausages, hotdogs, the don’t know what bread which you’ll usually eat with curry (Ciam Tao Lotti) in dialect. I forgot the spelling for the English; toast over the charcoals and applied with garlic, chicken wings - as usual, crab meat, marsh-mellows, watermelons, pumpkins. The seafood simply own the BBQ. Also the sauces, I call mayonnaise, don’t what wine for cooking (not the Chinese style of hua diao jiu) should be the Ang Mo style, chilli sauce and etc.

The next group of stuff which own the BBQ are… Schweppes tonic, Red Bull, Ribena, White wine, Red wine, Gin. And… I was the man of the day! Making the best drink. It’s simple. Just mixed them all. However, always do it with the right quantity, otherwise you’ll end up like Nic/Ken, kind of drunk too fast as he add too much gin. So, here the recipe:

• 10 ml of Gin. Using dilution factor, 40% alcohol to 10ml and top up with others would mean that 1 cup contains about 8% alcohol.
• 2 spoons of white wine. Those plastic spoons use in BBQ will do.
• 1 Spoon of Ribena to add to the color; Reddish Yellow.
• About 15ml to 20ml of Red Bull depending on who sweet you want.
• Add 2 Cube of Ice.
• Add a twist of Green Lemon. Cut a slice.
• Top up with Tonic, fill the cup.

This is an estimation of my recipe. I mixed my drink with estimation of quantity through feelings lah. But trust me, everyone agree that it’s nice..!

Here are some pictures of the nice food we had:

Anyway, thanks again to all. To Henry Tan, I guess all of us will miss you definitely. Meantime, enjoy your work w/o students. Haha.

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2nd June 2007. Basketball.

Had a game of basketball with a few of my old friends. Long time no play and hang out. It was all laughter while playing. It was great. We should come out and play more often.

Happy Ending

“The End” of CPTC. It was indeed a memorable one. Great learning opportunities and experience we had. After all, I did not get the “Best Trainee”, sad right? LOL. But it’s ok. Derrick deserves more than I do. He was more hardworking than me. Anyway, Henry revealed during the drinking session, that I was one of the top 3 in the group who got A for this 6 weeks training after tabulation of marks! One of them is Derrick (of course), Xing Wei and Me. Supposedly there was Kelvin too, the 4 of us got high marks for practical but perhaps he didn’t do that well for his paper. Mayb he got a B+ or A- bah? Should have chiong for it lah!!! (if only I knew there was best trainee and I thought there was only overall best) Zzz… And you know what, they didn’t mark all the papers at all! They marked those papers who are eligible for Best Trainee. They would subsequently mark and tabulate the rest of others marks only later. Logically, it’s hard to mark structure questions and tabulate marks within less than 24 hrs right.

It’s ok, over is over. SIP some more only pass/fail. Zzz… Should consider part of gPA lohz… Anyway, after CPTC yesterday, we met up for dinner at Muthu’s Curry with Henry. Though not all turn up, half of the class came. It was still a big enough group after all. It was easy too, all of us were guys, except for 1 lady, S’s girlfriend who both came later. We treated Henry dinner and in amidst of settling the bills, he was really going to treat us this time with his credit card! It cost like $280+++…! In the end, we didn’t lah, it was meant to show gratitude and appreciation towards him.

After that, some left and some carried on to Boat Quay with some drinking session at Brewerkz with Henry's treat this time with 2 towers of beer; 4 litres each. It was the first time, I drank 2 full mug of Beer! 1 at Muthu’s curry, the next at Brewerkz. I don’t really like the idea of Beer… it makes me feel bloated with gases… Bah… Anyway, I still drank. We all crapped a lot the whole night. It was fun. Dearest came to join (initial intention), but cause she left house late and couldn’t get her directions right, she came and help us took photos and drove me and ‘lobang’ Yang Ping, Wang Liang and Kenneth home instead. Poor her; but thanks Honey! Kenneth was damn drunk and talked damn lots… He kept pestering Henry to ride him home. He wanted to ride on Henry’s bike but I guess Henry didn’t want to be responsible for his safety. He was “tarred” (drank 1 shot) by our pressure and Henry’s challenge..! 1st mug slow, and subsequently 3 cups were fast ones. The quote of the night was “Bo Tar, Bo Lam Pa”. Haha. This was so call my first time hanging out with such a large group of guys, and crapping. Cool.

Here are some photos:

Heh~ Cheers...

Yeah!

Anyway, the Institute of Materials Research & Engineering is at NUS. Dr. Jiang Li mentioned that it used to be a joined co-operation with NUS. There’s allowance anyway; perhaps $440 like that. Working hours are office hours, and Friday is half an hour earlier release. Tea break meals will be provided like coffee/ tea with biscuits and etc. It’s available at the pantry, so can OTOT just consume! Cool huh? She also said that 50% are China people as Singaporeans don’t really like research. Zzz. I would also need to attend a 2 and a half day of Environmental Health & Safety (EHS) training before start of SIP. There’s shuttle bus from Clementi MRT station too. However, I hope that we could take NUS shuttle bus which I often see it passing by Safara whenever I go school last time. Hopefully can save as much transport cost as possible sia! Jeremy and the other guy would be shag man. They’ll be doing their MP alone with different professors. For me, I would be working with Nicolas Pang. Hopefully, we can work well and get an A or even Z for it.

Anyway, I think my white hair will be coming out with it SIP starts. My project looks damn chim to understand. It’s so PIA and Organic Chemistry!

Here’s a brief idea from Dr. Xu in his email to Jiang Li:

The students will focus on the development of polyhedral oligomeric silsesquioxane (POSS) and polyethylene glycol (PEG) based materials. POSS has a molecule-sized silica-like cage structure (1-2 nm, depending on the length of the substituents) and can be functionalized with a variety of organic groups. PEG is completely water soluble and is extensively studies with many applications such as drug delivery, batteries and biotechnology. These 2 types of monomers (hydrophobic and hydrophilic) will be incorporated into polymers by probably ATRP method and the properties of polymers will be investigated.

I’m better in Engineering leh. Zzz… Whatever it is, I would be working hard for my MP! Moreover, this is my SIP. So basically, my 5 days = SIP = MP. No labor work and there are many advance technology being used there (this is what I heard from Dr. JiangLi). I’m seriously elated about it. Hopefully, things will turn out well as I foresee. Great thanks to Dr. Jiang Li for giving us this opportunity. I’m seriously lucky this time after missing the opportunity to go Australia due to my driving lessons booked.

God bless me.

To be or not to be. To feel happy/sad?

6 weeks. “shucks” let me quote from my previous post. Somehow, I feel attached to the people, the fun, the plant (after knowing so much then got to leave) and the routine. Tomorrow would marked “The End” of CPTC training. How should I put it? Lectures is always chatting away, eating, and playing worms on R’s mobile phone. For practical, my intention was to find ways to slack as much as possible. Somehow, that intention of mine wasn’t fulfilled totally. Somehow, somewhat there was this interest to learn after some reflection.

I would say that CPTC had bond the cohort definitely. From acquaintance to friends, we start to know one another better each day. From assumption made, I’ve learnt not to do so. I guess everyone knows about KS scolding the cohort due to some playful acts of others. People start assuming. Hypocritical; 1 shot down labeled. Recently read G’s blog and got to understand the situation. Someone blurt out casually to one of the trainer and hence, there he got his retribution. It was meant to be a joke. Perhaps they feel that the boundary was crossed.

I ain’t saying that I believe what G said in her blog. Let me clarify, there could be this possibility. I observed this time. G during shift work said “bloody hell” jokingly, yet nothing happen. Not once but several times. Our group joke about all sorts of things, we had fun and on the way we learn too. Perhaps, after all it was a misunderstanding. I felt guilty for having suspicion towards H.T character. After all, all trainers are cool. Each of them just had a different way of starting out with students. Some may look stern, but yet friendly. It was only shift work which had let me know them better. “I don’t need anyone to believe”, like what G said. Rather, we shouldn’t have fired the arrow so immediately. We had allowed anger to get over our head.

For happy part of my life, would be that I would probably be attached to NUS, Institute of Material Science & Engineering for my SIP & MP. There’s pay which I heard from KJ (he asked Dr. JL when he actually took the wrong form for his SIP), and perhaps some R&D with china professor. Another happy thing would be that I heard from H.T that me and 3 other guys are highest for practical? Sort of? Then, the final examination would decide which of us will get the Best Trainee Cert. & Testimonial. I hope what he said was the truth and not bluff me sia. LOL. Even if he was lying, I’m still happy about it lah? He sounded serious though and mentioned it in front of a few of my group mates. I guess my chances would be slim ah… If I knew it, I would have study hard for my Mid-Year paper! This EOY most of it was from practical and hence I was quite safe. Still, I lost on theory which I didn’t study! So chances are slim lorz… but still *pray pray* xD.

It’s honorable to get it loh. I remember how I receive my Best Cadet Cert. & plaque in NCC last time. And in Senior Specialist Course, I was just 2nd placing in platoon to get my Best Cadet..! That bird bird CLT was biased as he is TK’s CLT..! I ain’t lying man, this is what I knew from a Mdm CLT (now my friend). When you don’t give people a chance to perform, never call yourself a leader.

Every ending has a new beginning. I just hope what's awaiting ahead of me would lead me to the life I want it to be.

Here's a great song with great lyrics to share. I think it seriously expressed my feelings totally. Perhaps 90% of it. It's quite a old song though. I'm slow, I know. Here it is...

Artist: Blue October
Album: Foiled
Title: Into The Ocean

I'm just a normal boy
That sank when I fell overboard
My ship would leave the country
But I'd rather swim ashore
Without a life that's sadly stuck again
Wish I was much more masculine
Maybe then I could learn to swim
Like 'fourteen miles away'

You're floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I'm sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be
be

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down

Where is the coastguard
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine
The jets, I'm sunk, I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life believe me
(How can I keep up this breathing)

Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space


I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down

Now waking to the sun
I calculate what I had done
Like jumping from the bow (yeah)
Just to prove I knew how (yeah)
It's midnight's late reminder of
The loss of her, the one I love
My will to quickly end it all
So thought no end my need to fall

Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
into the ocean...end it all

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(In to space)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(I thought of just your face)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Kuku Bird Day

Today is my birthday. I call it “kuku bird day” for the first time. I think this is the saddest birthday I ever had. It’s all spent at CPTC, isn’t it kuku? Anyway, thanks to my classmates, friends for the little surprise they gave for me. Though things were rush, but it couldn’t be help. So… how was it spent? After CPTC training, Dearest came to pick me up. I suppose she would be eating late dinner with me, but she has eaten. Again, we went to Bedok 18 and eat my fishball meepok. It’s 1st time spending my day at coffee shop though. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter; it’s always the person you spend with. Anyway, tomorrow would also be my day! It’s my Chinese birthday. In Chinese, I’m 20 years old. Woot. Within a day, I’m 19… and 20 the next. Haha…

Thanks for the wishes. I appreciate that. I was shock that other course mates also wished me. Thanks thanks. I think I’m darn DAO lah? I guess always people have been waiting for me to say perhaps hi/signal to greet, but I always don’t. Rather, I smile. If they’ve seen it, I’ve greeted. To me is smile; to them, I don’t know if they think that is so? I just feel so PS later when perhaps or what if that person acted like doesn’t know you? But but… I think I’ve made several people PS several times too.

19 years of my life… Hmmm… How great? I treasure the time spend with anyone I suppose; especially my love ones? Every obstacle that comes by doesn’t pull me down… Even if so… I wouldn’t allow the Earth to continue spinning w/o me moving. Once fall, rub yourself for a moment and move on further! “Life isn’t hard… Sometimes it’s just ain’t so fair…” quoted from KT. I’ve been keeping all these thoughts on mind… Life would be better ahead…

Aiks… What are friends and what are brothers? Some brothers might no longer be my brothers over time… Some friends have perhaps forgotten me… These are only friends I’ve left… So… they would just be passer-bys in life? I hope not. I do treasure and that don’t treat me for granted.

Dearest is still the one, always by my side… 4 years… I do cherish you all right? All the obstacles that we’ve came by, they ain’t easy. Lots of love…

So much random/sad/lame thoughts on the birth of my day…

Yup. It’s weekend again. Here I am after reading R’s blog… So guilty again… Luckily I did a close observation after Suhua knows the secret and gave a serious response. Subsequently was some discuss made with Liang. There comes the Man w/o Faith in R’s blog…

Faith is a trust. Something, someone, virtually or realistically we can give to. Sadly R is single; then he doesn’t have any GF to turn to lah. But I guess he will find his Mrs. Right one day. Right Rubin? Your.. Humph.. who u tried to sabotage me… Zzz… I remember times when Me and currently Charsiew Pig (Dearest got sun burnt), had to sort out these differences in religion. She (was) a Christian baptized, and I was just a kid who’s not really either Buddhist or Taoist (caught in between the 2) and due to confusions, the word free-thinker comes in. Then, I’m caught in between these 3 species. Thereafter, I tried/ still trying to understand Christianity and why certain people are sooo... pray daily? every meal? and once they feel depressed/sad etc. Then, I question myself; why don’t I do that?

For me, i always believe that obstacles are meant to be met and meant to be ourcome by ourselves. This is then, we're stronger. When i find my life is tough; walking/cycling through rains/ scorching sun on my way home soaked in rain/sweat and with heavy stuff to lobang. Why I say it's tough? I look upon those kids in their parents car, fetching them. They don't need to experience all these... Yet... I have to... My family isn't that rich but I've never look down on it, rather I'm proud to have such a loving family. I ain't consoling myself. It's because everyone is willing to play a part. My dad don't own a car. Yet, we can always walk together in family of 5. Simple walk; from downtown east to my house, from orchard all the way to Plaza Singapura through all shapping malls and later take MRT up again to Novena just to find a pair of shoe I want. Yet, the 4 family members didn't complain a single thing. How many Dads/ Mums will do that? I always tell myself that god is fair and that my future will be better. It's either you get these or these.

All right. Every religion does pray everyday. A monk recite sutras daily, a priest/pastors etc all do. But the word believers/followers come in. Different people, different individual have a different degree of faith towards their god. That was the conclusion. Perhaps I wasn’t a full-time follower and hence I ain’t doing these. I do believe that every religion has its truth. Tell you frankly, I pray to all. I believe that god(s) can understand and that they wouldn’t have qualms/ quarrels within themselves? They are god so I guess nobility is their forte. The world is just too complicated as each individuals have different characteristics. To make a total sense of religions and link them up is a mission impossible.

Anyway, they are just some thoughts. Back to do some work… What an abrupt Ending to my entry...

Life is as boring and tired as usual. Today was Dad’s birthday. I simply just got home and had my later dinner and as what we always do, a simple cake blow and that is birthday to my family. No prezzie or anything. Mine is next week, like 6 more days? I would be 19 then.

Time flies. I remember few months back I was celebrating X’mas, Darling’s birthday, CNY, Post-exams… Then… BOOM! 19? No please? I prefer the number 18? Very soon, I’ll be entering army. J just went in recently. Hope that he’s doing fine? Time fly faster and faster as you grow older w/o knowing. I remember when I was young; when I still know nuts about calendars, I always feel that 1 year is faster, and then the next year would be slower. But I guess that’s not the case now. Moreover, Wednesday would be my Mid-Term test at CPTC too. Zzz. Shagged man. Still blur here and there sometimes. Hope I could do reasonably well? I hope…

Continuing from what I’ve learnt in practical the 2 days…

Wednesday, 18 April 2007

We started the compressor in the plant air to start the pigging system. I simply hated that house. So humid. Steps for commissioning and decommissioning of compressor are complicated. However, commissioning of compressor is essential for various operation of the plant. After we have tried to decommission the compressor, we tried commissioning the compressor. There were some problems we face. Example, the no. 2 compressor kicks in due to ES100 (Electronikon) being offline. Then, our instructor; Mr Henry turned it on and allow the controller to take over and re-integrate no.2 (slave). Here, I hope that the meaning of integrate from which I understood was; example, when PV of no.1 (master) falls below the set-point, no.2 which is integrated into the system, kicks in automatically to aid the system to meet the set-point.

After the compressor has been started, we moved on to the pigging system. The purpose of this system is to clean or for internal inspection of pipeline. It was interesting to launch the pigging system. However, in the amidst of fun, the PIG was perhaps not place properly or insufficient pressure which resulted in the Solid Cast PIG stuck in between a bigger and smaller pipeline. It was initially a little slanted and I guess with many people trying to pull and adjust, it got to a more proper position. Then, suggestion of increasing the system pressure was made to troubleshoot this situation. Luckily it wasn’t objected by our trainer as he gave the opportunity to try when it’s possible (otherwise, dismantling of pipe would be needed).

Thursday, 19 April 2007.

It was on the operation of flare. The practical had enhanced what had been gone through in lecture. Most of the safeguarding system has been mentioned in lecture. However, today at the DCS, another safeguarding system was emphasized by one of the trainer; 10-UZ900. It was also one of the safeguarding systems. Assay in a case of flashback, overpressure of pipeline on the other side (leading to flare), 10-UZ900 could prevent the nitrogen tank from contamination through controlling of valve 10-UZ901. The purpose of resetting UZ900 was also to… ask ask Henry again… still got thermosiphon effect to blog about… to be continue…

Sianzation… Can you feel it? It’s hard to get back on track with lectures and study of Chemical Engineering. Lucky this time is 3.1 with training @ CPTC, SIP and MP. Imagine it’s going to be books and projects again! I think I will just die… Recently too, my life became so happening! I do not wish to talk about it as this entry of mine isn’t for that. Read R’s blog will do.

Anyway, I need to blog to keep track my reflection “What I’ve learnt this week for Practicals only”.

Monday, my groups had climbed C-100 and C-101. C-100 is estimated to be about 10 storey (35m) high. It was anxiety and excitement experienced. Luckily enough, my ankle was sort of not so pain, I’ve been anticipating about climbing the tower since the first day we had practical. This activity was like a treasure hunt where we have to hunt for and identify the tags on the temperature and pressure gauges, sampling point and etc.

Through this activity, it has allowed me to have a clearer view of the distillation column and its operations. Thereafter, it was easy for me to draw my PFD diagram too. Though for the past 1 week, we had been doing line tracing in different part of the plant, I feel that it was essential for us to know the operations better.

Tuesday, it was Cooling Water system, Deluge Valve and N2 system. Through the practical, my trainer has taught us to change Float system to Bubbler System and vice versa. It was complicated again. There were many valves and different parts we’ve to monitor and turn. Hence, when debriefing was done, I could have a clearer picture of each procedure and it purposes.

Example, we have to ensure that the Cooling Water System is on before the start up of plant, follow by instrument Air. The purpose of having a float and bubbler system is simple. Basically, float system is always use in CPTC for power saving as it does not activate and make use of the compressor. However, the disadvantage is that it needs frequent patrolling so as to ensure that there is no overflow in the basin. Where else, bubbler system needs the activation of the compressor and hence, a swing by-pass is needed for instrument air to activate the compressor and the bubbler level transmitter to be send to controller. This process of system change would almost be completed by changing 10-PCV-502 to automation and later throttled the side valve to 3.04barg to meet set-point controlled in the DCS unit.

For deluged system, there are 3 ways to activate it. Basically, burn it, activate the emergency button located in the plant and activating it from the DCS. For N2 system, I’ve also learn the operations.

Alright. Enough. To be continue… just don’t wish to forget some facts learnt…

So again, I went to MOS yesterday. This time, with Dearest and her friend ST, R and S. The 5 of us. Weird combination initally though, however we had quite some fun bouncing! LOL. So, S drunk and was high. Thanks for trusting me again. It was suppose to get you loosen up, destress. Allah, it's my fault.

Wahaha. So, R was abit stiff till he gets into the mood? LOL. S was crazily strumming his air-guitar and drumming his air-drums. We were on steps, so perhaps he had felt that he was having his very own ROCK concert? LOL. But I'm glad that he gave it all out? Loosen up and let it out? Even dearest said so too. Initially, ST was saying that I was bad. LOL But, whatever it is, I know what I should do and should not. I'm not making him drunk nor intend to do so. Just get loosen up, bounce, dance, party and... Feel the BEAT! He was seriouly crazy doing all his acts lah? Which I think many of our class people will never get to see what he did. Every strums and drums he made was with the beat you see. Especially the strumming part, he was cool with it man. I think he should go learn rock guitar or something.

I feel.. every pound coming out from the speaker... Enjoying every single beat of it. Giving myself all out!

I guess all of us enjoyed. I felt bad for leaving ST to go home alone? She was great? But perhaps kinda sian sian also? Maybe cause she didn't drink much and that's why. Still, she listened to her BF I guess. After that, we took a cab and thong at *. Ruben was cool; he did not go home at all and Dearest and I sent him to school for his DRP. Woot.

After that, I went home and had a long sleep again. Perhaps for more on what we did, you can visit R's blog @ http://www.blog.platodino.com/. Something interesting also happened. About $ part. Perhaps R will blog that. I'm lazy to do so. Zzz.

And so... Dearest is going there next week with her class again. Hope she listens to me too! Hope to go else where the next time. St James or Zouk perhaps. If a big group go would be even better? I see group of peeps occupying the so called "small stage" and bouncing crazily!

I'll be bouncing at CPTC next week onwards. Zzz. Shucks.

Things changed and everything changes. The feeling of this so called “buddy” also becomes different. I knew the verdict though I told PS 80% chance. But still there might be a chance for time to reveal certain things? Perhaps.

Trust is lost in friendship and hence it goes over to love. Perception to change; but there is a need for reasons to do so. Then, it’ll all be deceptions.

Here I am; a director watching and directing this movie. However, I failed to see my own ending and left it in suspense. Whatever it was, it was the friendship. The lady has nothing to do with me. I never regret what I did. I would have still done the same things.

What a careful use of my tenses here. I sort of feel an ache in my heart.

All the best dude.

For past moments, I’ve seen how complicated things are. Perhaps not for the situations, but the characters. I feared that things might turn sour between love and between friendship/ brother-hood.

As expected...

The word betrayal will come in, sooner or later. Papers can’t wrap up fire. I knew you couldn’t take it. I’m too frank? I don’t want to lie nor hide from you. There are reasons and situations which lead to these. I’m cool with it if you mentioned “trusted”; once and never again. I was mentally prepared for these to know more, to advise you better?

Don’t numb yourself with panadols. No one can save you but yourself. No point thinking. Perhaps conclusion is here to come. I did all I could.

I felt your hatred, confusion, saddness, pain and hurt, betrayed. I believe this friendships of ours will be stronger.

I’m out of the picture now waiting for verdict.

And now, dearest is PMS-sing. zzZ.

Man, the 3 days 2 night was fast. Very fast. It felt like a dream when actually you’re lacking of sleep. Zzz.

So Day 1 was quite good time spent? Dinner was like a family? Less hassles and washing. Cost saving too as S had treated us this dinner. Thanks buddy. So sad that A wasn’t around lah… What BRO wedding… Zzz… PS us lor…

Went night cycling at the start like 1am? And thanks K for company back to get my bike. It was not easy ‘lobang’ K with those flimsy bikes and with tyres not enough air. I was so easy shagged. K tried to ‘lobang’ me sia… but it was scary.. almost going to get hit by on-coming van! Zzz. Back, it was long wait here and there as few of us got wet by R and M. It was seriously sticky and hence I guess that was why some of us was crazy and just jump into the pool. And R seems like a all time drunk guy? LOL.

So it was night cycling. It was my first time cycling to Changi Village though. So I check out road sign and etc. It was all the way straight… but there are several uphill to overcome… Ladies got injured and so I kind of felt wasted when we had traveled so far. At that moment I was confused by the road sign, Naval Air Base? So I supposed we went the wrong way... so since the ladies are injured… we cycled back… so double check the sign again, I was right though. So after much discussion, S and K sent the girls back and R and I had a long slacking time at the bus stop.

After much waiting, they were back with F and another S. Both punctured after meeting us. Zzz. They were way back behind though. S was good man. He was able to take the pain of cycling. Impressive. So the 2 punctured cycled back. 4 survivors left. Went all the way straight and there we are… Changi Village… The ladies were just probably 2.5km more to Changi V from the place of accident occurred. Felt wasted for them though. Partly was my fault I guess; should have said to carry on rather than by saying head back!

Had wanton noodles while R had his duck noodles. The chilli was nice. So overall the wanton noodle is nice. Then, I had my Teh Susu while the rest had their ice milo. So we cycled back and K suggested to change bike with me. So I had the small bike which PS rented. The 4 of us were like the wild hogs lah… LOL… R had seriously enjoyed the cycling too! But he sweat way too much than I did. Zzz.

2nd day was Sentosa. So it wasn’t so fun but more like we enjoy each other’s crapping and rain and etc. Sentosa now don’t have kayaks and many volleyball court! So NO Sentosa till further notice man. Surprisingly, there wasn’t much people there unlike during poly-holis where u can see many klike TP students have hang outs there. Again, R was drunk in the amidst of our fun. He has his so called ‘Singapore Island Tea’ = Sentosa Island Tea. And A who just joined us went to pick some guys up and gayed with them and we got free volleyball to play with. He was perhaps attractive to those guys? LOL.

Dinner was at food republic and dessert was at Ben’s and Jerry. Dinner was filling and mine and A was the most worth it. Haha. Along way back to chalet was a long bus ride. It was fun I guess? All of us got a good rest too. It was sooo COLD in the bus. SC was like all the way sleep with his head bend. No wonder he’s getting his body bend…So went back and played the BurntOut car game. It was cool! I like it. Me and K manage to unlock a few more cars. And I think I’m PRO in the Sunshine Key map liaoz. With CPU was even more fun! Must have skills to take them down; got first place a few times with that map too. Other map I’m suck at it. The other map roads were dark and badly lit. Can’t really see. Zzz.

In the room on the last night, A and I got the bed all to ourselves. I guess PS and H too yea? LOL. There were 2 missing person through the night...

Last day was pack up and go. I was too tired to cycle by then so didn’t join the rest for breakfast. But back at home I had donuts from the Donuts Factory. My mum queued for 2 hours plus just to get 1 box of it. It was nice. No wonder she said there are so many queuing for it…

Slept all the way till 3pm and I had my lunch? And back to sleep till 5 plus. Dearest called and I went to her godma’s house for dinner. Went to the airport to drink my Teh Susu again at Kopitiam at T1 and it is like Ya Kun kind.

Slack and chat at T1 till 12.30am, reacted the day she left me for Japan for her to see. LOL. Then she drove me home and chat in the car for sometime. Reached home like 1.15am Doze off and Zzz…

Finally received my darling's call. So touched. Great warmth received I suppose. I couldn't help but to start shedding tears. It's like for 7 days, 3 messages only and no voice calls completely you see. emo guy? But I just couldn't help it. I tried to control you see. I miss her lots. Coming back in another 3 days... Seems like a 3 years and 8 days...

Argh... Still crying now though. ='(

Hurry come back my dear. Miss you every secs.

Had my e-trial test again today early morning. Woke up at 6.45am and I was so dead. Zzz. Thinking about my plans was to go gym after my e-trial, is like... Zzz. I'm forcing myself to go Gym you see. I has been a week plus since the last time I went. Don't go and your muscles will just sag.

So I wasn't late this time. E-trial test continue after I got logged out that time. FAILED! * questions got wrong bah. Zzz. Carry on doing the next 2 and again was just pass. Those which I'm unsure, I got wrong. Why? Purposely put an answer which I feel is less correct than the correct answer. Then, I'll learn mah. So, after taking each test, I'll just scheme through the wrong ones in less than 2 mins?

So met up G for gym. He became so fair now. Zzz. Less tone too. So he was like cpmpany me most of the time? Ask him do, he like can't concentrate. Perhaps it was due to his "abit sick". So S bastarded me last minute for lunch which was pre-planned. Suppose G was going home (I asked him to join me for lunch, but he said he was anti-social), so I was going to bastard him since he says he's going to finish some of this stuff and internet shopping.

So S again, bastarded me last minute. Research and research... Not sian ah? Zzz. Shag man I guess?

So, had lunch with G and planned to go sun tant. Sun played with us. So... I feel bastard again. It shine a moment and doesn't shine the next. Cloudy day.

So, G and I decided to go home. He do his stuff and for me, I got a great sleep. 3 plus till 6 plus. It just show how tired I am. Zzz. Luckily, I wasn't trekking today with the Dr. Ong. zzZ.

Great weather today. 4 more days and she'll be back. I'm counting down still. I wonder what happens if she's goanna leave me fore overseas study... Sia lah... then should I also follow? Nah, I wanna go SMU for business. Anticipating it. Left 2 semster, abit more to hit gPA of 3 liao. Wasted my first year in TP in joining DB and Asc. That period, I could have focus better and get better grades. From the past 2 semster, less commitments towards school and my gPA is increasing. 2.9 is my next target. Possible? Hopefully.

Japan reception is bad man. I guess she can't really send me SMS. I tried calling her, but can't get through. Saddening.

Alright. FT test tomorrow. Got to be careful of tricks. Another long day. Got to go Venture Era to learn certain health products. If it's goanna be sucessful, I'm goana get my own car as early as 26/27? Anyone interested? Haha. I guess you guys would say, irritating sales promoter. But but.. give me a opportunity to at least present ah? There had been really sucessful sales personnels who drive BMW at very young age. Zzz.

Good Night myself.

Yesterday went TM with S to get his shoes and spects. Someone was on a spending spree you see. So, he treated me movie “The Messengers” which initially I was quite reluctant. However, since we’ve got nothing to do and I didn’t feel like going home, so yea. S also paid for the cab to send me home. Initially, I was serious in walking home as I don’t know why… I just don’t wish to go home? So, S was my date for the day. Sweet huh? Ok lah, so I owe him a treat.

Perhaps… this coming new week? When I get my tuition fees, I’ll be not so broke. Missing lessons here and there, money is running in slow nowadays. Unlike previously, I can get about $400 plus from tuition for a total of 24 hrs of teaching per month… and an additional of parents allowance… introduce me some students anyone? I’m in need of CASH. Zzz.

Bored. I miss her. Zzz. Had my e-trial test today and I pass it on first trial without really studying for it? It was just passed though. LOL. Didn’t have time to try the 2nd test due to the lack of time as I was late you see. For 2nd test, I did 48/50, and then the program logged me out.

Anyway, after that I went to Espirit @ Parkway to check clothes out as I’ve got the last $8 voucher with me. Wanted to pass it to S though, but he’s busy. So yea, my budget this time was $29.90 but none of them attracted me… partly… I didn’t have mood to even try them u see… When she isn’t around, that’s me. The others were either expensive, not worth or not nice. Partly, I’m quite broke recently too. Zzz. There is orangey-red shirt which is like... zzZ… the colour was disgusting la?

After that, I went to buy chocolate-durian ice-cream at scoopz which we always had when we were there. Then a slow walk to talk No.12 opp Roxy Square. Dozed off in the bus after that.

Alright, 6 more days. Hurry come back my dear. We’ll go roller-blade!