I found this interesting under the small gift cards of herworld magazine.

Value & Appreciation:

We often take things, people and situations for granted.

We take our loved ones for granted.
Friendships are taken for granted.
Relationships are taken for granted.
Peace is taken for granted.
Justice is taken for granted.
Kindness is taken for granted.

When any of these are taken for granted, problems and unhappiness arises.

So, next time, stop and think, how much the people around us mean to us. Value, appreciate and treasure them before you lose them.

A little appreciation, not only makes the people around us happy, but also strengthens the bond between each other and goes a long way.

I read a story on herworld; “a story which will make you hug your hubby”. Touching.

I would now do a summary.

The couples knew each other at university. They had romantic courtship. They move on into marriage. However, Joe’s (changed name) marriage ended in about 13 years.

“No more morning kisses, no more sending off her to work, no more quarrels nor fights and no more bedroom wrestle.”

At this moment of time, in the process of reading the article, you may be thinking that Joe had been unfaithful and swayed. However, let’s move on.

Before they got married, they got an agreement list. Whereby each party states the like and dislike of the other. On the lady’s side, she had a long list. However, joe only had one; “I want to grow old with you”. It didn’t turn out to be a lifetime but 13 years.

The happily married couple had 3 children and Joe always have his family day with his family weekly.

He was contracted with diabetes in his twenties. Doctor says he’ll have his honeymoon for the 10 years. There after, his body will start breaking down. They didn’t believe this as one of their uncle or friend if I’m not wrong, live pass 70 even when contracted with diabetes at a very young age.

On this tragic day, his wife couldn’t contact his husband. It was a Sunday. As usual, he cooked breakfast and proceed on to wash and polish his car before the family outing. His wife’s worry was he might have fainted from low sugar levels caused by his diabetes.

Then, police came knocking on the door to seek for identification of body. Her wife’s hope was it wasn’t her husband and it was a mistake. She saw his lifeless body on the ground. Their whole life together flashed in her mind; their moments of intimacy, fights, laughter… everything.

Most importantly, she still remains very faithful.

“I may miss all the things we used to do together, but that don’t mean that I am looking forward to doing all that with someone else. I want a man but not just any man. I want only the one I lost, so I don’t think remarrying is an option for me.”

“My children need a father but nobody can fill the gap but Joe. No one can be as good a father to them than the one they have lost. I will have to be both mother and father to them and if that means having to spend all my waking hours.”

Firm and a strong with determination and persistence.

To read more, get the magazine. I would say it’s worth reading. As relating to the gift card, value and appreciate.

Few days back, I paid my visit to the temple. It was my grandmother’s first birthday after her death. The urge of turning back the time comes back again. When the mission is so impossible and yet you want to do it so much, it’s heart wrenching. Feel it.

Sudden death is a fact which is hard to accept. It’s not easy. Without thinking about the person’s death in your daily life, the presence still seems to linger around. No doubt, it’s very painful.

Here’s a message which I want to put across to those who have pass by; No matter how much time you spend with your loves ones and precious friends around you, it’s never enough.

In our life that god has given to us, it’s not about our academic, career and time worshipping him/ her and etc. It’s about us, spending quality time with the people around us. Time is never enough no matter how much you have spent. When a sudden change takes place, you’ll feel it.

Value and appreciate. It’s never too late. I love you, my friends, my family, my dearest.

Previous Entry was better than this, but due to technical problems I hope I still could bring you my perception.

Criticisms are meant to be given, but give it constructively. For my say, do it professionally. Every one has the right to comment on something and somebody, regardless of age. It doesn’t mean only elders have the right to have a say. It’s undefined and what do you mean by how old.

Can a 70 year old plus still give constructive feedbacks? No, they’ve aged and lack the thinking process and analysis skills. Hence, some jobs are meant to target different age group of people. That’s for YL, do not feel offended. That’s my explanation. As youngsters we should test for credibility of the job’s information.

Anyway, I was shooting ST initially. As bad as I can be, I’m becoming more evil. I do not why, but I wasn’t myself lately. Was it a change or not? People change, some turned more evil, some more vulgar.

Back for PS’s post, the right to criticize it’s not really about whether you’re up for it. “有些人懂得告诉别人他的不是，但却不曾看看自己是否需要任何改进”; while I am having my say about you, I do not need to look into aspects which I need to improve myself. There’s a reason.

Why is this so? Bullshit. No. The can have the “say” on the guy, PROVIDED that the there ain’t any presence of the “say” you said. Naturally, ensure that “你是否有慎重检点了自己的言行举止”. I agree, yet difficult to do so. Hence, what you have condemned mustn’t be what you are.

You do not need to look into other aspects as what you say doesn’t relate to other weakness of yours. The other weakness of yours is for others’ turn to say about you. It’s a go round and round thing. It’s like you shoot others, others can shoot you back when he’s stronger than you in that aspect.

Receive feedbacks professionally. How? You may say cannot la. For the moment, you may “argue” with the person or pursue your rights. It’s all right; you’re explaining. However, do it with right tone to avoid fights.

Undeniable, sometimes you may have the moment of harshness to pick up a fight. It’s ok, just do it. However, at the end of the day, always ask for reasons why. Why does he/ she gave such a comment. Analyze. You’ll always have time for yourself alone. That’s all for here, let’s move on to the next part.

“每个人的存在都含意着恶性竞争”; this applies for the past and school life be it past or present. However overall socially, I would say human’s presence in the current century has the presence of 恶性竞争. Why not? If not why are technologies and market moving so fast? It may seem “良性竞争” on the surface but you never know what’s beneath the still waters. Otherwise, fresh O levels graduates won’t be duped by certain firms.

************************************************************************

Watched “one more chance” with dear and few of my classmates. I would say it’s quite nice. Jack Neo brings me back and forth; about to shed tears and back to laughter. I was on the verge of tears. Beside me was my dearest, whole face wet. Hugx. I wonder if the other few ladies did cried.

Feel the world or the ex-convict. It can be depressing though. They never gave up; persistence, determination and discipline. Give them a chance.

Had badminton with few ex-schoolmates plus classmates. Nice game. I guess my right arm would be aching tomorrow.

What’s next for tomorrow? Dragon Boat: gym training. Each time I feel weaker during training. Not that often la. I wonder if I’m weak or it’s my muscles which can’t recover on time and the intensity gets higher each time.

4 times of training a week, DRP coming and ASc work to be done. DRP will have a start on Tuesday @ 4.30. I’ll be late for DB; with reasons. No guilt.

Sadly, I enjoy 70% of the happenings. But I hope to have time for her. Maybe we’re drifting. I don’t know. Let’s move on.

Think. Some people think and yet they never find a solution to their question. There are actually solutions and some reasons why.

Partly, they’ve something holding them back which they thought to be evil. This may somehow obstruct their thinking. However, you always have the choice of getting yourself back to the right path.

Another case, you’ve not been open enough or you lack the experience. The latter applies to me. Sometimes through experiences, you gain and learn values. By being liberal, you share more and learn more. Being adventurous and bravery to explore you have more experience; you dare to try out in any form of circumstances.

Some “kids” though they maybe good in studies and always want but not seek perfection in academic, they’re lack of something; character (个性). You want and you seek is different.

They, “认为还是不够，好还要更好” and they feel like shit all over. Yes, “力求上进是好的也是必要 but 如已成了要求完美; 只含意了无形中的一种承重负担” and all that’s on their mind isn’t knowledge but marks and ability to be the victor out of others. It becomes a 负担 to make sure all the stuff is in their head (memorization). In short, no actually goal or the goal’s value has been lowered.

I believe in this society that we’re currently living; can’t be like MM who leads the country to independence and later on till now. “平一个人的力量是很难能改变什么的” but with the co-operation of a group of people, something could be done. Don’t feel hopeless. No 绝望. You ain’t facing problems alone. Share it. Always bear in mind, teamwork.

Confrontation may not be a good thing. However there’s only 2 outcome; good or bad. Solve it straight and depending on situations; some friends are meant to let go. Would you want a friend who both of you doesn’t appreciate each other and you try to keep for life?

Sometimes they’re meant to be passer-by for you to learn something from them. For now, you learn and as you proceed on in life, you deal better with human-relationships. You’ll get better no doubt. Don’t keep loose ends deep in your heart, put in punctuation; full-stop. There this goes the friend who ends here in you life.

You need to face it now, the society is too harsh and competitive and you can already get examples from the current environment without moving on to the future. The kind of childhood which people use to have at our stage has gone. You can’t escape for long.

People are maturing faster. You just can’t have the好人脸 in front of all people. If you can’t protect yourself, you’ll be eaten up. Basically, we’re killing each other with motives and see who starts first. It’s a challenge.

I don’t mind getting stab once, but you’ll get it back double the price. For those who’re nice, you’ll be treated doubly nice. That’s call protect yourself and not harming others at the same time.

That’s all for the crapping. Here’s a update of myself.

************************************************************************

Busy. Darn busy. I’ve got myself into shit. I’m selected for Dragon Boat. I’m in DRP (Research Project), 90 hours to complete, Applied Science School Sub Committee and DB with 4 times a week of training; Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday due to the upcoming race.

I do not know if I’m in the upcoming race, as I did not hand in my passport size photo to Captain for the registration of race. All thanks to AC. I do not know if it was a motive or a moment of forgetfulness. I hope it was the latter.

For the moment he was put into consideration. “So petty ah?” I’m just giving a “curfew”; it’ll be taken off when it’s time. My trust is just given off too easily.

Today’s training was shag at kallang, though while rowing we shout “No Shag!” to keep up the mental strength and moral. Mind over body. Teamwork was great to make the impossible, possible.

Before the set was 1000m warm up row; then, 30 minutes of non-stop rowing followed by 20 minutes. After that were 3 sets of up 40 with the seniors. Pull-ups were increased to 4 sets of 12 and with 20 push-up at each interval after each set.

When I heard my name yesterday, it was to my surprise being in the team. Coach asked me to buck up my pull-up and increase my diet. Am I so small size? I’m already bigger than Raymond and a few others. Ok, I’m trying. Don’t blame me when I’m fat. Anyway, I’m waiting for jersey and the Team Temasek jacket!!!

So touch that my honey waited for me while she was in pain (tummy & err… humph…). She’s being considerate at the improper time! She got nagged by me and her godmother. Haha. She was in tears when she got into the car. She must have felt so terrible. Poor dearest; here’s a big hug.

That’s all for the updates. Ciaoz.

Yup, do not have something good to say then shut it up. However, sometimes people need to vent it out otherwise it creates this psychological problems up there. If accumulated, situations get worse one day. Luckily, there’s this thing call blog for me to have my say. Yes, frank and straight forward. Take it or leave it. Treat it as an advice for the future or hate me.

I find myself changing. Am I? I socialize with almost different kinds of people. I seen many or maybe not as yet, life’s still a long way to go. Yes, the presence of intolerant people irks me. However, I accept the way they are. I can’t expect them to be ideal.

Sometimes it’s just too many which spoils events and the co-operation of the class. While others may be trying to have at least had some bonding for a moment, some others just do it for show for the lecturers’ presence. What an act.

Gossiping and talking back can be seen has a form of virtue. Socially, people do so to avoid confrontation of making relationship worst. Hence, sometimes I do that to avoid any form of a moment of harshness which may lead to other problems.

Gossiping do creates problems. However, give constructive gossips. So as when confronted, you’ll be able to take what you say. Don’t hold back, be frank and straight forward, you gain other’s trust. You’re only being sincere because they meant something deep inside you.

Cool blooded. I’m learning this. However, for those who treat people sincerely, no worries. What’s happening beneath the still waters isn’t my concern. But when relationships are link to me, I would choose to interfere.

Why? Either you solve it or say goodbye to it. Do not leave it there; improve your skills of solving problems. You’ll learn more along the way and you deal better when you start work. Don’t escape from reality. Face it, solve it.

Friends come and go. Good friends are hard to come by, treasure them. Your virtue will be remembered some day when they’ve reach certain stage of maturity. Be observing, there are so many motives in the actions and speech of the majority. Can we have some childhood? I don’t wish to enter the world of adulthood so soon. It’s too complicated.

From the day I lost a friend, I learnt a lot. I gave so much help and yet, hurt. This time round it’s another time; twice. I kept asking myself sometimes, why am I being so good? Why didn’t you dare to be more ruthless?

I think I should. I kept wanting a change but just not up to it. Too sentimental and emotional. Deep down inside, friends are so important. I appreciate quite a number of people in the class; PS, RT, SH, WL, YL and some of the malays be it after or before this event. Many efforts was seen, sarcrifices were made. They're another group of people starting to further shape my life positively. I do hope friends which I made now; we’ll be able to walk through the journey of life.

Finally got rested, another day of boredom. Anyone has lobangs for temp/ part time jobs? Here’s a short part of conversation with one of my classmate over MSN:

It’ll be between ME & FAD.

FAD: Yo alex you ok?

ME: Yup, sorry about the flared yesterday.

FAD: No, it’s ok brother. It’s partly our fault too.

ME: Nahz, not really. Angry about ST & company plus a few others. Not you guys actually.

FAD: I’m ashamed. Your leadership very good you know? Seriously, wish I were like you.

ME: Leaders are not born, they’re made. You can be too. It’s after each experience you became one.

FAD: It’s like you can lead and follow you see. It’s has been hard for you and the ladies for the past 3 days. As an organizer, I shall say you’re responsible.

ME: Leaders are followers too. Everyone play a different form of leader when they’re in a group. I can lead and at the same time a follower because I follow instructions given by a person who is of a higher status than me or of what’s the group’s interest.

ME: Actually I wasn’t the organizer. I’m just a helper. It was Ruben & Sharez.

FAD: You see? Even I thought you were the organizer. You did lots of things w/o complaining.

ME: Nahz, I still flared in the end.

FAD: That’s natural. If I were you, I’ll do that too.

Thanks. Thank you for your appreciation. At least I do feel that what was done was worthwhile after all. These words were a great console. I hope to share this with those who have put in effort for the event.

My hands are still full of the smell of garlic and onions. It's marinated. Phew.

Exams are over and a chalet was organized for tutorial group TD04. Work and work. This is my first time doing so much housework (cooking, washing and etc) for the past 3 days 2 nights. Tired. The minority didn’t play much, neither the ladies. I can clearly record, an hour of pool and 2 hours plus of swimming sessions in total?

Here’s a AAR (After Action Review) of the event:

- Initiation work both ways. Don’t ask people what to do, find what has not been done.
- Be sensitive. Do not boast how much you’ve done. It hasn’t been much.

- A leader is meant to bring positive influence, not negative.
- A leader doesn’t give excuses at all times, set an example. Be constructive.

- A post as a class representative is given the responsibility of bonding the class. He/she should clearly know that he has to do his utmost to get the class together. Naturally, be more participative than any others. He/she should make the impossible, possible.

- Excuses are meant to help you when you really have to get away, not to cheat on others.
- Responsibility is a huge word which contains other characteristics. Set an example.

- Fun atmosphere doesn’t come from organizer. Do not expect organizer to do everything. Come out with something yourself and bring the crowd together.
- Do not think you want fun. For those who were not having, they want fun too. Be understanding. They had 3 days W/O fun. No guilt?

- Do not be a mummy’s boy when you’re in an organization or group. Be automatic, take initiative. Be pro-active. You REPRESENT how much your parents brought you up.
- Academic aspect doesn’t mean everything. Do not have to keep comparing or talking about it. Characters and practical are important too.

- Do not look down on others. Think about how others are looking at you. Do not be hypocritical, it isn’t time. We’re still schooling.
- Do not think highly of yourself. Be humble.

- In such events, organization before self’s interest.
- We don’t seek a change but an improvement.

- Participate and anticipate in such events.
- Do not get pissed nor hate/dislike others before thinking. Ask your conscience.

From the above, I hope I seek an understanding of why I was pissed and fared. For those who’ve got the scolding, sorry; you guys were my last straw. I fared partly because I was really tired. The pots were hard to clean as bottoms were burnt plus looking at people leaving just like that, it irks me.

Not a word of thanks to show any form of appreciation, it made things worst. You just left that way. Things were taken for granted. All that was done didn’t worth anything to you? Be considerate.

You may say, “hey calculative.” That’s the case, come do it and I’ll play the whole day round. When things are cooked, all you knew was to fill your tummy. People who have been busy ate only so much later? Tolerance comes with a limit and everyone has it.

What has been done is done. I just hope to see more efforts put in by less assertive people to make the class a better class. It’s improvement we seek, not an overnight change. Seek a balance in life, being good only academically is NOTHING.

Sorry if you’re despised by me. The amount of intelligence and wealth doesn’t make me look up to you. Think about your character. That’s a substance.

Let me shoot someone here, if you happen to read this, improve yourself. I’ve got to let this out here; I do not wish to disgrace you when I can’t take it one day in the public:

ST, stop being a flirt when you have a girlfriend. I wonder how much securities your girlfriend has. Do not give a helping hand only when teachers’ are around. Stop those acts. Don’t be a hypocrite and make use of others each time.

You’ll get it back in your life. Being academically good isn’t enough. You’re can be a lover, not a good family man for long term; so do not think you’ll be one next time. If you think you’ll be, learn to start the fire.

Stop praising yourself, you aren’t handsome. Do not think you’re amiable, you’re not.

Lastly, you failed as a class representative.

Everything will be forgotten after today. Let’s move on.