this space created since i was 16 till the age of 23.
i'm leaving, putting back all those tears and moments in my life.
important people who had been mentioned will always be remembered.
some of those.. grandma, ex.
they took up 21 years of my life, people who i will always love and miss deep inside this corner of my heart.
this is a space where only the hard truth exist.
nothing here is a lie, but a development of how i've grown in blogging through the many years with very much of emotions involved.
moving on for those who has been following me:-
www.paramorphosis.wordpress.com
goodbye.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Monday, May 02, 2011
拍.卖
i would say this long weekend was great, to allow myself to 'get in touch' with my feelings. somehow, it has been left untouch for quite sometime. of course, with <<拍.卖>>
i know i'm slow. i didn't had time to watch. recently, my pace have managed to settle down (less parties, less entertainments, more homely hours) partly i'm still recovering from my cough; managing my busy schedules better.
finally, more time for me to chase a drama from 8pm till 5am the next morning (this doesnt always happen).
i've repeated it 3, 4 times.. till the weekend gonna come to an end. to keep feeling, and thinking about the many things in life. of course, to get myself mesmerize by the beauty of Jesseca Liu in this show.
true love needs nothing, but only a true heart which will bring you towards the many years ahead till death.
i'm gonna be good, be back to who i was; to be who i really am. i've realized, i haven't been doing fulfilling work for sometime, i.e. helping elderly, or being a volunteer; the last time was probably during ASc.
i ought to start soon; hopefully with chance and time.. (this was pretty much inspired by Jesseca Liu's blog). if i'm not wrong, one of my aunt is Elvin Ng's friend.. and from her blog, i found his, then i found hers. oh well, seems like i'm 2-3 relation away to know her!
whoo. she's a very much earthy artist, from her post in her blog. one day, i'll get hold of that special some one (hopefully, someone like her.. ^.^), for many years of undying passion, and moments.
well, these few days.. i've realized who i haven't been... haven't been very earthy. the one who loves trekking, getting in touch with the nature and the many others around the world who are the less fortunate. whatever that are the finer/materialistic things in life.. doesn't bring any meaning.
yes, be contented. count your blessings. those who hadn't appreciate you, no longer need any of your reminsces. with this, i shall leave this blog.. till i found the right title for my next blog, i will be starting on tumblr or wordpress. and my next trip.. i feel like going langkawii, vietnam, cambodia. LOL!
this OST.. probably most people have heard it, it didn't appeal to me with all the promos.. but with the show.. it blends with many feelings.
someday, i will watch that special someone cry.. and i'll sweep off those tears on her beautiful face..
give her a hug, and a kiss.. with love.
i'll save my next gentle kisses for that special someone - someday.
i would say this long weekend was great, to allow myself to 'get in touch' with my feelings. somehow, it has been left untouch for quite sometime. of course, with <<拍.卖>>
i know i'm slow. i didn't had time to watch. recently, my pace have managed to settle down (less parties, less entertainments, more homely hours) partly i'm still recovering from my cough; managing my busy schedules better.
finally, more time for me to chase a drama from 8pm till 5am the next morning (this doesnt always happen).
i've repeated it 3, 4 times.. till the weekend gonna come to an end. to keep feeling, and thinking about the many things in life. of course, to get myself mesmerize by the beauty of Jesseca Liu in this show.
true love needs nothing, but only a true heart which will bring you towards the many years ahead till death.
i'm gonna be good, be back to who i was; to be who i really am. i've realized, i haven't been doing fulfilling work for sometime, i.e. helping elderly, or being a volunteer; the last time was probably during ASc.
i ought to start soon; hopefully with chance and time.. (this was pretty much inspired by Jesseca Liu's blog). if i'm not wrong, one of my aunt is Elvin Ng's friend.. and from her blog, i found his, then i found hers. oh well, seems like i'm 2-3 relation away to know her!
whoo. she's a very much earthy artist, from her post in her blog. one day, i'll get hold of that special some one (hopefully, someone like her.. ^.^), for many years of undying passion, and moments.
well, these few days.. i've realized who i haven't been... haven't been very earthy. the one who loves trekking, getting in touch with the nature and the many others around the world who are the less fortunate. whatever that are the finer/materialistic things in life.. doesn't bring any meaning.
yes, be contented. count your blessings. those who hadn't appreciate you, no longer need any of your reminsces. with this, i shall leave this blog.. till i found the right title for my next blog, i will be starting on tumblr or wordpress. and my next trip.. i feel like going langkawii, vietnam, cambodia. LOL!
this OST.. probably most people have heard it, it didn't appeal to me with all the promos.. but with the show.. it blends with many feelings.
someday, i will watch that special someone cry.. and i'll sweep off those tears on her beautiful face..
give her a hug, and a kiss.. with love.
i'll save my next gentle kisses for that special someone - someday.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
dreams.
it seems like those dreams keep replaying those things that was undone.
since the day you left me hanging.
sometimes, you wish life could be simple like what it used to be.
anyway, 'hello stranger' is a nice movie. depicts simplicity in love.
maybe in a society, where people are less exposed to temptations have some kind of reminsces for people. they value and cherish people more i guess.
anyway, the following MV reminds me of the days..
i pillioned you on my 'bike',
those laughs and walk we had,
the times we carry our lanterns in the chinese garden,
the times we took photos of our shadows,
weird isn't it?
how things happened, and how it ended today.
anyway, rest in peace my cousin-in-law; Daniel, passed on aged 35 due to cancer.
god, bless my 3 nephews and my cousin.
it seems like those dreams keep replaying those things that was undone.
since the day you left me hanging.
sometimes, you wish life could be simple like what it used to be.
anyway, 'hello stranger' is a nice movie. depicts simplicity in love.
maybe in a society, where people are less exposed to temptations have some kind of reminsces for people. they value and cherish people more i guess.
anyway, the following MV reminds me of the days..
i pillioned you on my 'bike',
those laughs and walk we had,
the times we carry our lanterns in the chinese garden,
the times we took photos of our shadows,
weird isn't it?
how things happened, and how it ended today.
anyway, rest in peace my cousin-in-law; Daniel, passed on aged 35 due to cancer.
god, bless my 3 nephews and my cousin.
Sunday, March 06, 2011
smile.
looking back...
those smiles i know of back then, carry much innocence and simplicity.
those smiles i see today, much different. it feels as if a hardening sense to emotions, to push oneself to move on. probably, a perfect stranger.
A was telling me that he couldn't have tried to be friends anymore, despite 7 months.
Then I thought, perhaps.. it goes the same as for me too. 6 years have been horribly too long to forget anything, everything.
"we couldn't have been friends. when i see you, it will bring me back the many feelings, flashbacks of the many first time, how we had grew up together and the many magical moments. however, if you ever need me, someday; let me know, i will be there like how i've always been."
"i will always remember the walks; on the very night, from Tampines.. through the fly over and all the way to your home. the days where mash potatoes from KFC never seems bored. the time i held onto the umbrella, and you were walking close together with me in the Zoo, in the rain. thereafter, it was our first time together at chomp chomp and packed supper home for family members."
"Remember his laugh -- no matter what it was about -- made you laugh too. Remember when he entered a room you immediately felt butterflies. You remember spending hours on the phone talking about the dream you both had for the future. You even remember how he smells in addition to the soft kisses on your forehead."
p.s. i bet you didn't know the one you're with today is someone my niece knew, probably some relation to my extended family. shocking? or disgusted?
looking back...
those smiles i know of back then, carry much innocence and simplicity.
those smiles i see today, much different. it feels as if a hardening sense to emotions, to push oneself to move on. probably, a perfect stranger.
A was telling me that he couldn't have tried to be friends anymore, despite 7 months.
Then I thought, perhaps.. it goes the same as for me too. 6 years have been horribly too long to forget anything, everything.
"we couldn't have been friends. when i see you, it will bring me back the many feelings, flashbacks of the many first time, how we had grew up together and the many magical moments. however, if you ever need me, someday; let me know, i will be there like how i've always been."
"i will always remember the walks; on the very night, from Tampines.. through the fly over and all the way to your home. the days where mash potatoes from KFC never seems bored. the time i held onto the umbrella, and you were walking close together with me in the Zoo, in the rain. thereafter, it was our first time together at chomp chomp and packed supper home for family members."
"Remember his laugh -- no matter what it was about -- made you laugh too. Remember when he entered a room you immediately felt butterflies. You remember spending hours on the phone talking about the dream you both had for the future. You even remember how he smells in addition to the soft kisses on your forehead."
p.s. i bet you didn't know the one you're with today is someone my niece knew, probably some relation to my extended family. shocking? or disgusted?
Thursday, February 17, 2011
wake up.
remember that very day, i woke up and to realize that everything in this world today changed.
one of my blood brother got ditched. he poured his sorrows to me, 7 months.
i fully feel how he feels.
i had a r/s for almost 6 years, spending most of my time with the family.
the one who probably ditched you ain't just about it that's all.
i know i'm repeating myself, but yeah. it was those kinship, the love that were all built over the many years, through time.
what causes the change?
today, i'm moving forward; 2 x times the speed, the one probably you're with today.
maybe if you could have waited, everything would turn out right?
maybe, maybe not.
timing, is love about timing? or faith? or perseverance?
i was talking to Ms T;
about all those pillow fights..
those wrestling on bed in the early morning..
i talked to A, my depressed fella and he mentioned;
those paths.. those many first time.. those places..
7 years of r/s be it couple, be it as friends..
snapped.. and they were gone..
1 and a half years of perfect stranger.
define pity?
you've died, some years back - changed.
2 years back was when i finished my BSLC at Pasir Lebar 14th Feb 2009; v'Day, and we were at airport. remember? i gave you my red crystal heart.
remember that very day, i woke up and to realize that everything in this world today changed.
one of my blood brother got ditched. he poured his sorrows to me, 7 months.
i fully feel how he feels.
i had a r/s for almost 6 years, spending most of my time with the family.
the one who probably ditched you ain't just about it that's all.
i know i'm repeating myself, but yeah. it was those kinship, the love that were all built over the many years, through time.
what causes the change?
today, i'm moving forward; 2 x times the speed, the one probably you're with today.
maybe if you could have waited, everything would turn out right?
maybe, maybe not.
timing, is love about timing? or faith? or perseverance?
i was talking to Ms T;
about all those pillow fights..
those wrestling on bed in the early morning..
i talked to A, my depressed fella and he mentioned;
those paths.. those many first time.. those places..
7 years of r/s be it couple, be it as friends..
snapped.. and they were gone..
1 and a half years of perfect stranger.
define pity?
you've died, some years back - changed.
2 years back was when i finished my BSLC at Pasir Lebar 14th Feb 2009; v'Day, and we were at airport. remember? i gave you my red crystal heart.
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
once upon a time.
"Remember his laugh -- no matter what it was about -- made you laugh too. Remember when he entered a room you immediately felt butterflies.
You remember spending hours on the phone talking about the dream you both had for the future. You even remember how he smells in addition to the soft kisses on your forehead.
We all have experienced that person who inevitably was the one that got away.
My girlfriends and I were talking about this recently and each one of us had a story.
One recounted a guy when she was in college where they spent the entire summer together. They enjoyed long walks in the park talking about everything and nothing. They spent time at each others houses and acted like a kiddy tourists visiting all sorts of places.
He was hoping to become a doctor. She helped him study for his Medical College Admission Test. When he doubted he could finish medical school, she was the one who encouraged him. Sadly, after a misunderstanding, they went their separate ways.
Twenty years later, my friend has no regrets about where she is in life. But she longs for that day when she can tell her friend, "I'm proud of you and all that you accomplished." Yes, he became that doctor, married with two kids and from afar seems happy.
Is it better for my friend to have fond memories of that summer, which she does, or try to express that she realizes he's the one that got away. I believe that it's better to keep that memory alive in your heart instead of opening yourself up to regret.
Consider this: What if you contact that person only to realize that he has harbored resentment all these years?
I recall a time when I confronted the one that got away. We, like my friend, had that moment one year where we connected on all levels. We traveled together, talked for hours, and also discussed and debated our hopes and dreams for each other.
We were both in different places in our lives. When he was ready to settle down, I was consumed with my independence and being able to take care of myself.
Once I was ready to consider settling down, he was no longer ready for commitment, focused on his budding career.
Now, 15 years later, he and I are doing well personally and professionally. We realized that there was a time when we could have been together but we could never get the timing right.
I waited years to confront him as to why it didn't work and the truth was painful. To realize that he was holding on to what I was not able to give him when he needed it, was devastating. We have managed to realize that our time would never be and have loved each other enough to remain good friends.
Yet there are still some times when we both look at each other remembering that moment that could have been.
Sometimes it's best to leave the past in the past. Consider your moment -- whether it was a summer or a year. You decide whether it's better to confront, contemplate and dissect the reasons why, or just sit and smile over a glass of wine remembering the one that got away."
如果雨后会有晴天,
我希望如此..
i will always remember those walks through the parks.. the many paths.. and the bus which never seem to arrive.
the yearly movie time during the eve has gone for sometime, sometime.
one day, i will tell you what i've achieved since the day you left.
"Remember his laugh -- no matter what it was about -- made you laugh too. Remember when he entered a room you immediately felt butterflies.
You remember spending hours on the phone talking about the dream you both had for the future. You even remember how he smells in addition to the soft kisses on your forehead.
We all have experienced that person who inevitably was the one that got away.
My girlfriends and I were talking about this recently and each one of us had a story.
One recounted a guy when she was in college where they spent the entire summer together. They enjoyed long walks in the park talking about everything and nothing. They spent time at each others houses and acted like a kiddy tourists visiting all sorts of places.
He was hoping to become a doctor. She helped him study for his Medical College Admission Test. When he doubted he could finish medical school, she was the one who encouraged him. Sadly, after a misunderstanding, they went their separate ways.
Twenty years later, my friend has no regrets about where she is in life. But she longs for that day when she can tell her friend, "I'm proud of you and all that you accomplished." Yes, he became that doctor, married with two kids and from afar seems happy.
Is it better for my friend to have fond memories of that summer, which she does, or try to express that she realizes he's the one that got away. I believe that it's better to keep that memory alive in your heart instead of opening yourself up to regret.
Consider this: What if you contact that person only to realize that he has harbored resentment all these years?
I recall a time when I confronted the one that got away. We, like my friend, had that moment one year where we connected on all levels. We traveled together, talked for hours, and also discussed and debated our hopes and dreams for each other.
We were both in different places in our lives. When he was ready to settle down, I was consumed with my independence and being able to take care of myself.
Once I was ready to consider settling down, he was no longer ready for commitment, focused on his budding career.
Now, 15 years later, he and I are doing well personally and professionally. We realized that there was a time when we could have been together but we could never get the timing right.
I waited years to confront him as to why it didn't work and the truth was painful. To realize that he was holding on to what I was not able to give him when he needed it, was devastating. We have managed to realize that our time would never be and have loved each other enough to remain good friends.
Yet there are still some times when we both look at each other remembering that moment that could have been.
Sometimes it's best to leave the past in the past. Consider your moment -- whether it was a summer or a year. You decide whether it's better to confront, contemplate and dissect the reasons why, or just sit and smile over a glass of wine remembering the one that got away."
如果雨后会有晴天,
我希望如此..
i will always remember those walks through the parks.. the many paths.. and the bus which never seem to arrive.
the yearly movie time during the eve has gone for sometime, sometime.
one day, i will tell you what i've achieved since the day you left.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
age.
the old are ageing, facing death.
the young are rising, taking over.
a family business gonna be taken over in years to come, how will everything become?
i'm a unsharpen needle, moulding to be..
i must be a successful businessman in time to come.
the era is upcoming.
the rich don't get rich always when they do not know how to cherish.
the norms will rise, because they value.
life will always be a cycle.
those songs in the mp3 ain't updated. when old songs play, it bring me back those times. driving alone with those songs, really feels... i've lost someone so dear.
i always wonder, and probably that's why white hair are more than before.
flipping your physics textbook makes me realize the change, the vast change over the years.
but they say; someday, they will know who they love most, and who love them most. is that true?
the old are ageing, facing death.
the young are rising, taking over.
a family business gonna be taken over in years to come, how will everything become?
i'm a unsharpen needle, moulding to be..
i must be a successful businessman in time to come.
the era is upcoming.
the rich don't get rich always when they do not know how to cherish.
the norms will rise, because they value.
life will always be a cycle.
those songs in the mp3 ain't updated. when old songs play, it bring me back those times. driving alone with those songs, really feels... i've lost someone so dear.
i always wonder, and probably that's why white hair are more than before.
flipping your physics textbook makes me realize the change, the vast change over the years.
but they say; someday, they will know who they love most, and who love them most. is that true?
Friday, January 07, 2011
《网》
last episode.
maybe if you hadn't lost anything today, you will never realize what's more precious.
the sky is beautiful, the sunset too. always it'll be there, but we'll never realize the beauty of it. even if we lift up our head, we probably wouldn't be able to see it. in front of us, there are many thing blocking it.
the sunset you've seen today, was it the same as what we've seen together before?
如果说你忘了; 我还记得, 那一天.. 我们做在海边, 看着海, 吸着凉风,看着太阳下山.
"those who don't bother about you, do not deserve you to bother about them" - EG
true. i guess we shouldn't waste time and life on people who doesn't appreciates the love that was given. those times where you went through the many bad times with (accidents, operations, hospitalization, death of kins), ended up they felt that you were only a friend who's just always there.
weird isn't it?
perhaps, god is fair as i use to believe. what you've lost today, god will give you back somehow, some ways.
perhaps, till the day when you understood what love is.
the lyrics for the song is pretty good as well, and this is how i've edited:-
这份爱你还不了,
今日你拥有最华丽的情调
比不上曾经那微笑.
今天你选择了他是否因为是梦抓不到, 所以谁都想要?
最单纯的感动却忘了去寻找
以为拥有了世界, 却输掉了拥抱.
do you ever remember how our love happen and what we've been through?
isn't it an excuse when you ever told me, it's because; "i've always been there for you"?
so, why do you fall in love with another for?
ha.. someone said: "he's a guy i wouldn't turn my head to give a second look."
interesting?
the initiate phase of love creates blind people.
last episode.
maybe if you hadn't lost anything today, you will never realize what's more precious.
the sky is beautiful, the sunset too. always it'll be there, but we'll never realize the beauty of it. even if we lift up our head, we probably wouldn't be able to see it. in front of us, there are many thing blocking it.
the sunset you've seen today, was it the same as what we've seen together before?
如果说你忘了; 我还记得, 那一天.. 我们做在海边, 看着海, 吸着凉风,看着太阳下山.
"those who don't bother about you, do not deserve you to bother about them" - EG
true. i guess we shouldn't waste time and life on people who doesn't appreciates the love that was given. those times where you went through the many bad times with (accidents, operations, hospitalization, death of kins), ended up they felt that you were only a friend who's just always there.
weird isn't it?
perhaps, god is fair as i use to believe. what you've lost today, god will give you back somehow, some ways.
perhaps, till the day when you understood what love is.
the lyrics for the song is pretty good as well, and this is how i've edited:-
这份爱你还不了,
今日你拥有最华丽的情调
比不上曾经那微笑.
今天你选择了他是否因为是梦抓不到, 所以谁都想要?
最单纯的感动却忘了去寻找
以为拥有了世界, 却输掉了拥抱.
do you ever remember how our love happen and what we've been through?
isn't it an excuse when you ever told me, it's because; "i've always been there for you"?
so, why do you fall in love with another for?
ha.. someone said: "he's a guy i wouldn't turn my head to give a second look."
interesting?
the initiate phase of love creates blind people.
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