cloudy moody moldy cold. (try rhyming it!)

this post is meant before the clock strikes 12, because i didn't have the time to blog about what happen today. and i wish to keep it only on this day. =)

today, after so many long years, i verbally, finally fucked my very own man/colleague/friend, in front of all my other man.

and i recommended/made him sign 4x extras, which probably my other officers/sergeants friends have yet to do such a thing.

i guess my tolerance level over the years has really indeed increased a lot. good i would say, i mean, i've learned to deal with things professionally, properly, rather than using anger/authority.

i'm forced to do so. to maintain a certain image as a leader, in order for my people to work better with me.

people have been telling me, i'm so angelic, my tummy has been big enough eating bullets.

burst it baby. i burst, to maintain image as a leader before people think that i'm really a fucked up one/not worth to be a specialist of the organization.

i probably had converted the anger which i had on my other work, at the moment on him.

for once, after so long, i got back to years ago where i fucked cadets right on the face.

good job.

thinking back, it was thrilling.

actually, i don't or never get stress with work. if i am, it's only a moment of time where i'm pressed. otherwise i'm cool, unless i'm mugging for a paper tomorrow.

over the years, i've learned the different form of leadership styles. personally, prefer the softer approach, because i know these would actually would make a deep impact in other's life.

yet, my man reminded me, sometimes when you're too nice, people take you for granted.

they forgot the many things which you did for them. they forgot the word "appreciate". contented? satisfied?

actually, i would rather make more friends than i fucked someone and ended up losing contact after my work/ end up being not being very close friend.

sad, but yet i gained this sense of satisfaction from my work finally.

so, ended up i feel quite mixed up again.

nevertheless, it was a good experience, it probably got back that some part of me.

gotta strike a balance.

and thank you my friend for being there for me whenever i needed someone to listen to me.

i appreciate it. being a listener ain't easy eh.

thank you for your encouragements, your advises, and your visual ears.

谢了朋友!

让我们大家都一起加油!

想起过去种种的波则
原来大家都有对人与事
不同的对待与面对

不是逃避
而是在于各人的本性

但大家都没错
只是不懂得包容彼此的不同

还是不懂为什么
"不作朋友" 的 "作" 为什么不是 "做"!

time to think about it.

interesting.