mixed.

i don't know how i should express myself in this post.

surprise? disappointed?

i stand clear on my ground firmly.

"eh, you look good"

"what kinda dressing you have?"

"wtf"

"and you're here?"

"shouldn't you be at orchard or sth"

"come, i pay for you"

wtf. it doesn't matter my dressing, it doesn't matter if i'm good looking, it doesn't matter if i'm attached or not!

so while waiting, i chatted with this random guy who brought me a drink.

and i guess he's probably some big shot, which he doesn't want to tell me.

today, i see my friend, who once used to believe in everything, fall.

he's capable. but he loose faith. and so values, principles and beliefs fall.

i shan't say much, but different individual deals with things differently.

just like when in a r/s, i know subconsciously how the world is but somehow i didn't felt very close to what it is.

perhaps like what people say, when you're in love, no matter how ugly/down life is, it doesn't feel as bad? you know there's someone who's there for you, being your support, seeing what you see as one.

man are bastards. and don't judge the looks by its cover.

please test and test man over a period of 5-10 years at different phases of life. man has different faces when it comes to different environment, situations, and different phases of life.

so when women fall in love with bastards, we call these women naive. they love like they never do, and they'll never see/know what their man do behind their back. yet, they call this love? or is it just a cover for reality status? other man then laughed behind the back of these naive women.

sometimes i wonder if people consciously could feel guilt. or has hurt/pain overwhelm the power of even feeling it.

today i stick to my principles, values, beliefs and faith.

sadly, in Singapore's population, the ratio of woman to man is like 6:1. minus bastards, minus those you can't clique even if they're not bastards, minus those probably you can be in a r/s with, but unsuccessful. i guess woman nowadays can't really chose? =X

everyone has flaws, overtime it may magnified. overtime you forgot how to appreciate those points which you may initially appreciate. but how about when we chose to remember and continue to appreciate? only then, r/s can continue to flourish?

if a r/s has gone for a long time w/o you even realizing it, there is a reason which you need to find. and also understanding the fact that for a long term r/s, there's always ups & downs.

as i understood, attraction may be an initial phase of a r/s. and usually they are the honeymoon period. thereafter, it's always the bond of friendship and the many moments which 2 person can create in each other's life.

contentment changes overtime when what you initially wanted is satisfied. man, always failed to learn to be contented.

i'm not contented with my life. but i know when i'll be when i reached my dreams. because, sometimes, it's never ending going after and after many years. does it make your life fulfilling? perhaps everyone has different definition for fulfillment.

don't stop believing, and risk everything.

because you know how true you have felt before.