Been busy with work, school and CCA. Therefore, didn’t had time to blog.

Today I had my dragon boat training at Kallang. Shagged. Immediately after reaching home, I grabbed my protein shake. Nice. It cost me $72 man (after discount). Usual price is $110. For those who maybe interested, it’s Whey Protein. I can actually feel the effect after taking it yesterday night. My muscle ache almost recovered fully.

It was a non-stop 2 hours sitting inside the dragon boat. My butt hurts a lot. If you’re interested, you can try next time. I also had my first running session during NOON time. Mind you, it’s 12PM hot sun. Anyway, many ran on the road half naked. I feel as if I was in army. Phew.

Luckily with people like R and B, if not I guess I would have quit long ago. Sometimes, it’s just difficult to have friends no matter how much you tried. You just won’t feel close to certain people. That’s what I call fate. Fate brings people around you closer.

Yesterday went out with her and her family. Yup, I enjoyed myself. First, you don’t have to worry about transport. You don’t have to walk much either. Boo was sick. I guess the people around him pass him the virus; poor little thing. I guess my dearest was sick due to him. KILL HIM. Haha. It was meant to be a joke.

I love animals too. However, I try to keep a distance. We’re animals but of different species. Who knows one day you may created a virus out of you and him? You never know nowadays man. You don’t harm him nor does it harm you. Love him, find him a partner to be close to him.

Anyway, I was quite irritated with G today. SMS keep coming in with questions. I checked with PS and she didn’t actually contact her. She always wants her way anyway - that was an excuse, so as it can be on Monday.

Anyway, I’m starting to find myself entertaining different groups of people weekly. Excluding my dearest of course! Last week was the lecturers but I enjoyed the trip. This week was DB, I didn’t quit enjoy myself actually. Wasn’t that FUN I would say.

Stress comes again after entertainment. Got to rush my tutorials, study lecture quiz coming up this Tuesday. Burnt week! And so is my body now. I guess it’ll be peeling soon.

Oh, you know who I saw at Pulau Ubin that time? Sebastian from Project Superstar. Wanted to “suan” by singing his last song. That was his worse performance man. Anyway saw Kelly Poon at President Star Charity just now. She’s beautiful! Sweet with elegance. Opps! She’s going to KILL ME I guess. Keke.

So now, it’s my Term Test and Dragon Boat’s Physical Test results:

Term Test:
OC - 35.5/50
PIPC - 34.5/50
MEB - 23.5/50
EM - 40.0/50
CSAS - 20.0/50 [Maybe Adding 1 More Mark]

Average GPA would be a B for the term test. However, including lecture quiz, lab work and tutorial quiz would be a B+ I guess. For the rest of my class, most got straight As.

DB’s IPPT:
Pull Up - 6.0
Sit Up - 57

Push Up:
Set 1 - 68
Set 2 - 79

2.4KM - 11 minutes 07 seconds

All the above are per minute basis except for 2.4KM. I do not think it was very fair. For those who turned for Tuesday training still suffered from muscle aches. For Pull Up, I usually do a 8 or 9 without aches. So I do not think I had improve. I still do not know how to use back muscles for Pull Up. 2.4KM was slow compared to my fastest timing at 10:11.

I hope I can get back the stamina. Another test will be up 1 month later! Ok, that’s all for today. Byez.

Today’s lab was boring. Structures of molecules were involved. Plug, unplug and show.

Today’s class discussion was conducted with great effort I guess. I’m gald that many of them participated. Some kept quiet. However, they were observers to me. One of them was WL. Got some feedback from her which I don’t think should be mention AC was usually quiet. I wonder what’s in his mind. KJ and SHA got G prompted a few times. They were of my concerns too. I’m glad that I didn’t need to raise them up and try to talk sense into her.

She was persistent but didn’t give others assurances. “I did before le”. It doesn’t show how experience you are, how successful it’ll be. To earn trust, some things has to be done and proven to be true. Have experiment it, get more witnesses about the successful rate. Do not give yourself a chance to be a clown in the whole event and things wasted. Successful rate, taste, packaging, processing are all linked up. 1 fail, the whole idea is destroyed. Why so harsh? Irrational.

Skip lecture. Welfare of the class isn’t her concern. Who’s so stupid to lose out? Some can afford to, some can’t. Be considerate. We’ve to minimize any form of risk. We shouldn’t allow it to affect our lessons unless it is really necessary.

Things do not go your way every time especially you are leading a group of people. You’ve to stand in their perception; “I CAN one”, “I’ll TAKE it”. Are you leading or are you doing it yourself? Where’s deployment? Where’s your team’s welfare concern? That’s leadership. Be cool, work smart, be fun, deploy work, be adventurous, be considerate.

L - Lead
E – Esprit de corps/ Endure
A - Adventurous
D – Discipline
E - Empathize
R - Rational
S - Smart
H - Honest
I - Integrity
P – Patience

BREAK!

Quarrels again and again. DAMN. Irks! I’m going MAD, CRAZY, LAZY & WHATEVER!

FINAL!

Don't PISS ME!

I don't know why. There was once when someone told me she'll cherish me. I felt so ignored by the treatment and attitude. I hate it. I hate the insecurities. Why must things be told then it'll be done? I suppose many things come by so naturally? Comparing to the past it's so different! Let's see what happens when I am not going to do anything about it anymore! Go, stray! Damn! No liars this time.

Having sleepy eyes, yet waiting for her SMS. Today’s DB training somehow seems shag. However it’s not surprising. I skipped last week’s run. 2 weeks never run, 1.6 KM can’t even speed up. Timing was 8 minutes plus. Luckily, it’s not 4 KM. It is sure to kill me. Don’t know why but I lost the kick of running. Didn’t like running that much now. I guess there’s obstruction, that I am worried about; my appendicitis. I’m so afraid to be hospitalized again. I should have it cut the other time.

Today, presented the ladies idea for CCN during APEL. Hope that Mr Teong didn’t get very mad. None of them came up with any reports. While presenting and writing, I felt as if I was back in NCC. Satisfied.

Still wondering, how will my OC result be? Quite worried about it.

Ok. So I promised to mention her name. Who’s the HER I’ve been talking about? Diana Chew WJ. Think she’ll have her butts in her air after reading this entry. Yup, she’s my love. That’s all. Nothing to hide.

I really do hope to be treasured and appreciated. By having said that, sometimes a simple SMS in between your lessons will make the day. Sometimes for a reason, I wonder why.

I miss the past. The days we spent. Maybe people grow up, relationship changes over time. Maybe knowing each other later may do you good in certain aspects. Perfect. I enjoy listening to Simple Plan. I could get the lyrics very clearly. Meaningful.

Lately, I haven't been enjoying my sleep at night. It's so difficult to get to sleep. I hope I can make it tonight. Insomnia. Aiks.

Have been quite lazy to blog for the past few days. Saturday was the Pulau Ubin Trip with the lecturers. It was fun. Heard many stories from Dr Ong. He had many opinions of different students on our class. I wonder what it is his opinion about me. He gave so many names to the group of guys too. Haha.

During the whole process of the trip, he “suaned” Lecturer Lim AL. I think he got quite mad. Just wonder how does it feel to you if you’re a lecturer and “suaned” by the other in front of the teens? I wonder if his face is always expressionless because, throughout the trip, his face showed nothing. LOL. As Dr Ong said, he always do that to him. I guess he is immunized to it.

We paid nothing for the trip. Let’s calculate bumboat $4 back and fore. $8 for bike rental from 8 – 6 PM. Coconut drink, $2. Soft drinks, $1. Lunch subsidized $2.50 by Dr Ong. $17.50! Moreover, there are 4 of us plus 1 more year 3 student. That’s 5. $87.50. Isn’t it nice?

At some areas of the trip, I smelled the mosquito repellent which is often use in OBS. The smell brought me back to about 2 years ago when I had my OBS mobile. Somehow while I am blogging right now, I remember the days where I had my feelings for her. Wooing her and waiting for her reply. I remember I missed her so badly during the 5 days! She was lovely too. She took down every lesson’s happenings on foolscap. So “xi xin”! Touch.

Today got no dragon boat training! Trainings have been changed to Tuesday and Thursday for this week. And on Thursday, it’s physical test. Hopefully my muscles recover on time after Tuesday training.

Today is a great day to be. No DB and got sufficient rest/sleep finally. However, got a few thing to be done; proposal for CCN day, MEB and EM tutorials. I guess no one did the proposal and tomorrow got APEL.

Feeling so great today! Sweet and lovely. It seems like I’m sounding girlish. Aiks.

Quite anxious about CSAS results today. Got 18.5/20 but added 1.5 marks after my explanations. So, 20/25. However, may be adding 1 more mark. Ms S has to check with her colleague. PS got the top for CSAS. Congrats. Luckily, it’s not some others again. Top for the cohort is 23/25 from BMS. It was close.

Some news, do not know if it’s true. Average mean for the 25 classes, AD11 got top followed by AD14. ChemEng has won the race?

Chatted with PS a few minutes ago over the MSN. Enlightened. Manage to figure out something which I had miss out. Thanks. I felt better.

Tried talking to her; however I didn’t get much feedback. Maybe she doesn’t understand. Or maybe she does. She knows me the best I guess. The reason behind would be because we were on rocks and that’s why. I miss her hug.

Tomorrow will be the Pulau Ubin trip. Hopefully by traveling overseas, I’ll have a better semester. Haha. I do hope I’ll gain some useful vales & blah from the lecturers. I hope.

OC got 4As in our class. Hope I can be one of them? Fat hope?

Hopes, that’s so much of our lives when things are done. We can only try to strive before anything happens.

Today was a long day. 6 hours of non-stop hits (lectures). Haiz. Tired. Sick. Sick of many things that’s around me. Irritated.

I had a sleepless night yesterday. We quarreled before sleep. Cool. Anyway, guess she had a good sleep. She didn’t bother. I don’t know why. Sometimes people can just don’t bother and do what they like. However, when it comes to me, I’ll make sure other’s heart is very best assured. Assurances always give people a sense of comfort and security. I dislike people to worry. Thus, often I would be an obedient boy.

Got back PIPC test result. For a moment, it was lower than expected. I flipped through the pages, 6 marks of careless mistakes. 3 marks for identifying the ions. I did not identify. But rather, I answered the next sentence of the question: “Indicate the charge clearly whenever possible.” I showed all the charge for all the ions. But I didn’t identify them. I wondered what had happen to my eyes at that moment! It was a heart stabbing mistake.

Next, 1 of the MCQ, convert 8709L/min to gallon/hr. converted to gallons but not to per hr. Fuck!

Do not wish to mention the rest. Careless careless careless.

I remember I when I had AM tuition last year, I asked him this question. How to avoid careless mistake? He said, care less. When you care less, you won’t be careless. It’s when you cared too much, it becomes careless. There’s some truth in it though. You still check and care, but don’t be so fussy about gritty gritty things.

I’m still trying to change and to improve my exams habits. It’s very difficult. It’s always my cause of downfall. 平时想的东西太多了, 到了紧要关头时, 就把测验搞砸.

Pissed. Very pissed off by someone. I do not know why. I hate the attitude, the treatment. I feel more like a guardian than a care-giver.

I thought that the bus ride would be a nice talk over. However, I turned out to be a companion once more. I should be a bus driver.

The wait for bus 17 was longer than usual. The ride too. It’s so different when you’re alone and with someone. After I board the bus, I rest my on the cushion. Terribly tired. Some how, I smsed and said what I wanted to say. Anger turned into disappointment and hurt. Lost. Without knowing, tears rolled down. I needed a shoulder, better; a hug.

I broke down. No one to share the pain I feel. Studies stress, peer pressure (cause many are getting good marks in my class), pressure from relationship. I miss my grandma somehow. I wondered if she’s in somewhere more peaceful than I am.

I miss her badly. I had hardly talked to her ever since I started my secondary school life. Regrets. The last time we spent time together was she dyed my hair for me. My dearest grandma, I miss you.

Had quite a relax Wednesday today. Usually around this time, I’m mentally knock out. Won’t even be blogging right now. Anyway, I would like to add on to yesterday’s entry. It may sound offensive to those who are in my class. Innocent ones also got it. However, conscience should be clear if you are not one of them.

Today’s lab session ended very early. The class finished lab at around 1355 hrs. However, we were only allowed to leave at 1415 hrs. Our time was burnt listening to “stories”. I had received some feedback on Pulau Ubin trip which will be this Saturday. SH & PS are not working. I guess some sacrificing was done. I appreciated their effort. But for those who gave unacceptable reasons. No comments.

I rushed back home for late lunch and tidy up some ends in my work. Had an hour nap, and back to school again for dragon boat training. I came late and missed running 2.4 KM. Phew. Great. Today’s training for me was 40 Pull-ups and Gym training. It was more of muscles endurance than usual mental endurance. I like it. At least it will be easy for me on Thursday which is usually a long day of lectures. Everything ended early than usual. I guess captain was shag and that’s why.

Anyway, there are some things which I would like to say. Can PEOPLE stop asking others “I shuai not”? Or whatever it is regarding looks. It’s so thick skin. If he is going to ask me one day, I would say: “Yes, you’re shuai (Bad Luck in Chinese) but not shuai (Handsome in Chinese)”. 2 different yin. Come on, did any one watch Project Superstar? Xu Huan Liang, one of the judges said (translated in English): “The reputation of cute or handsome is not given by one self nor by asking others. It’s given by others to you, without them being asked by you”.

Oh my god, get a life man.

All right, if you’re one who does that, it’s still ok in a way; it can be a joke. However, when it becomes too often, it’s thick skin. Advice to one, get a girlfriend or do it on her. But please, don’t do it so often either. You’ll scare her off. Anyway, super vain-spot. I wonder how you’ll survive during army.

God bless you.

It has been long ever since I started blogging. And surprisingly, you can see my last entry was last year. Time flies. I’ll not talk about what has happen over the few months. LOR SO le. Anyway, feeling quite sucky today. MEB, 23.5/50. Scored highest among the failures? Cool?

Lecturer: er.. Where is JY?
ME: Here.
Lecturer: This is your quiz paper.
(YES! A liao! 16/20! I'm draw with PS.)
Lecturer: But er.. what happen to your term test huh..
(Shit, failed. Deep down my heart, OMG!)
Lecturer: Maybe you blank or something during the exams huh.. You may want to share with me after lessons..
(Silence in ME)
Lecturer: I can see you're trying hard and you're a good student..
(Of course la)
Class: Eh..

For a moment my heart sank. However I expected it. While doing the test, I didn't know what I was really doing. Miss hands are moving, Mr Brain is not. Demoralising. I kept very quiet for lunch. My friends are like, "OK not? You're not yourself le and blah blah". Of course I'm not OK and I'm not myself! By asking, it just makes the person feel worse. He needs to be alone and sort out his thoughts. Many took up psychology as their CDS. Yet, they never tried to learn before taking up.

On the surface, by asking is showing concern. However, many do not understand one thing. How do you feel if you're in that person's shoes and you're prompt? Anyway, thanks. No offence. I understand it's always meant to be a consoling session right after something bad happen.

EM got 40/50. In fact it was 39.5. Find and begged for 0.5 marks. Kiasu right? It can't be help. TD04 is too competitive.

On the surface, we're united, we share, we coach each other. Call for study group? "Don't want la.. Ma Fan la.. I think many want to study ourselves.. blah blah.." We're top or whatever so what? Hello, there're the helpless people in your class! One of them haven't been getting good results. Anyone notice it? (Not ME) NO.

What are all these for? A play from Monday to Friday for the lecturers? To praise TD04 is a good class?

Seriously, this class is not working at all! Who's there to bond the class? It'll be tiring if no one participates! Definitely NO FUN and don't say MA FAN.

Pissed by the class meeting.

Selfish, Hypocritical, Arrogant, Self-centred, Lazy, No Enthusiasm.

Psychology? Put others before yourself. If not you'll never know and understand the real reason behind. Feel it.

We're not moving. We'll split. I guess no one cares. Nobody listens.