歌曲：空缺
歌手：伍家辉 专辑：虽然我愿意

当你关上了门离开这个房间
关上了仅有的光线只剩想念
我还感受到温柔的幻觉
月亮的背面写满了我们的细节

我的回忆种满你曾对我说过的预言
开成了一座遗憾的花园
也许一天在挤满行人的那一条街
你才会发现我留下的空缺

没有人能完全填补的空缺

就当作我们不熟练不够周全
就当作我们追不上彼此改变
我以为能完美写下句点
时间在后面遥控了所有的情节

幸福需要的磨练我们都误解成搁浅
活在想象的明天忘了今天未完结


how complex can human emotions and thoughts be?
it can never be understood fully.

Past

this story was sometime back in my post. find it interesting and i'm reposting this again. my mind has consistently been flash with memories.. so this is how it goes..

The couples knew each other at university. They had romantic courtship. They move on into marriage. However, Joe’s (changed name) marriage ended in about 13 years.

“No more morning kisses, no more sending off her to work, no more quarrels nor fights and no more bedroom wrestle.”

At this moment of time, in the process of reading the article, you may be thinking that Joe had been unfaithful and swayed. However, let’s move on.

Before they got married, they got an agreement list. Whereby each party states the like and dislike of the other. On the lady’s side, she had a long list. However, joe only had one; “I want to grow old with you”. It didn’t turn out to be a lifetime but 13 years.

The happily married couple had 3 children and Joe always have his family day with his family weekly.

He was contracted with diabetes in his twenties. Doctor says he’ll have his honeymoon for the 10 years. There after, his body will start breaking down. They didn’t believe this as one of their uncle or friend if I’m not wrong, live pass 70 even when contracted with diabetes at a very young age.

On this tragic day, his wife couldn’t contact his husband. It was a Sunday. As usual, he cooked breakfast and proceed on to wash and polish his car before the family outing. His wife’s worry was he might have fainted from low sugar levels caused by his diabetes.

Then, police came knocking on the door to seek for identification of body. Her wife’s hope was it wasn’t her husband and it was a mistake. She saw his lifeless body on the ground. Their whole life together flashed in her mind; their moments of intimacy, fights, laughter… everything.


- end -

trust.

i couldn't stop myself from pondering. but i chose to trust despite the different perspective given by others. it's the 2nd sat w/o you, how are you..?

dreams.

it has been the 7th day w/o you. i'm starting to sleep abit more, probably i'm really tired out from my swell up eyes which i suffered the past few days. and i've been sleeping abt 5 hrs each day and no more.. still, each night, i woke up in the middle of the night to find myself back to reality w/o you.

as i was in camp yesterday, i had a deja vu for a moment of my life. it was the same feeling as it was in my dreams. i lost you, and i did..

as i was browsing through the pictures and small clips of ours (to reduce my misses), i've probably forgotten the reality of life that i may just lose you one day.. and i did. still, i don't think love has long gone, but i would say - forgotten. sometimes when ideas where assumed and not communicated overtime, we form a deceptive perception from our assumed known subconscious. but subconscious mind isn't known by self; it's unknown.

subconsciously, i maybe moving on. but is my heart moving on?

i believe you do miss me. i believe, you do.. and this is my 1st friday w/o you after a long time.. i miss you.. do you remember the times..?

Deceptions of mind.

it has been the 6th day without you, and my life just seems to quieten down by alot.. it has also been a long time since I've last blogged. probably there isn't any platform for me to express my thoughts for now.. neither do i wish to affect you in anyway. time seems to pass very slowly, every moment, my mind is all abt you..

i guess at the end of the day, failure lies with the things we've done unknowingly. subconsciously, we've done things which we shouldn't. subconsciously, we assumed and ideas weren't communicated properly overtime. subconsciously, subconsciously... we formed certain perception. And clearly and not subconsciously, i know deep down, the love is still there. It can't be lost completely.. probably the love was forgotten..

there i was, at the wooden chair we sat before.. i turned back, it was the same tree we once took our photos with.. as i stood at the huge rock, looking out at the sea, turning back again, it was the very same coconut where you and i took photos with.. then i realised.. we did miss something unknowingly..

as i cycled through the many paths we took, i remember those times spent. They were our very sweet moments despite the number of years we had been together. And it's probably i've been really busy that we've lost touch of spending quality time..

it has been really a long time and we finally came thus far. I miss those times spent with you, the food we shared (those meals.. don't we..?), and the many things we see as one. Those times where we experience one another's sorrows, and happiness of life was simply unforgettable. We truly feel that for each other.. As u ever gave me one thing, “nothing was more beautiful than the love that has weathered through the storms of life..”

at the end of the day, i still respect whatever you said you've decided. I know what you need, a total freedom. I love you, and so i'm letting you go.. And i know it would probably be good as well.. neither do i wish the story to end the day before marriage.. and so I've got this hope and faith – if we're ever back again, i know the feelings would be back to what it originally was, totally different experience and that we would treasure one another more.. and it would probably be another even longer chapter..

I've faced this very well and surely i'm coping as well as you are. hope to see you soon..