To be or not to be. To feel happy/sad?

6 weeks. “shucks” let me quote from my previous post. Somehow, I feel attached to the people, the fun, the plant (after knowing so much then got to leave) and the routine. Tomorrow would marked “The End” of CPTC training. How should I put it? Lectures is always chatting away, eating, and playing worms on R’s mobile phone. For practical, my intention was to find ways to slack as much as possible. Somehow, that intention of mine wasn’t fulfilled totally. Somehow, somewhat there was this interest to learn after some reflection.

I would say that CPTC had bond the cohort definitely. From acquaintance to friends, we start to know one another better each day. From assumption made, I’ve learnt not to do so. I guess everyone knows about KS scolding the cohort due to some playful acts of others. People start assuming. Hypocritical; 1 shot down labeled. Recently read G’s blog and got to understand the situation. Someone blurt out casually to one of the trainer and hence, there he got his retribution. It was meant to be a joke. Perhaps they feel that the boundary was crossed.

I ain’t saying that I believe what G said in her blog. Let me clarify, there could be this possibility. I observed this time. G during shift work said “bloody hell” jokingly, yet nothing happen. Not once but several times. Our group joke about all sorts of things, we had fun and on the way we learn too. Perhaps, after all it was a misunderstanding. I felt guilty for having suspicion towards H.T character. After all, all trainers are cool. Each of them just had a different way of starting out with students. Some may look stern, but yet friendly. It was only shift work which had let me know them better. “I don’t need anyone to believe”, like what G said. Rather, we shouldn’t have fired the arrow so immediately. We had allowed anger to get over our head.

For happy part of my life, would be that I would probably be attached to NUS, Institute of Material Science & Engineering for my SIP & MP. There’s pay which I heard from KJ (he asked Dr. JL when he actually took the wrong form for his SIP), and perhaps some R&D with china professor. Another happy thing would be that I heard from H.T that me and 3 other guys are highest for practical? Sort of? Then, the final examination would decide which of us will get the Best Trainee Cert. & Testimonial. I hope what he said was the truth and not bluff me sia. LOL. Even if he was lying, I’m still happy about it lah? He sounded serious though and mentioned it in front of a few of my group mates. I guess my chances would be slim ah… If I knew it, I would have study hard for my Mid-Year paper! This EOY most of it was from practical and hence I was quite safe. Still, I lost on theory which I didn’t study! So chances are slim lorz… but still *pray pray* xD.

It’s honorable to get it loh. I remember how I receive my Best Cadet Cert. & plaque in NCC last time. And in Senior Specialist Course, I was just 2nd placing in platoon to get my Best Cadet..! That bird bird CLT was biased as he is TK’s CLT..! I ain’t lying man, this is what I knew from a Mdm CLT (now my friend). When you don’t give people a chance to perform, never call yourself a leader.

Every ending has a new beginning. I just hope what's awaiting ahead of me would lead me to the life I want it to be.