time.

recently been busy with:

school.
job hunt.
interviewsss.
planning itineraries for overseas.
attending gathering sessions and catch up with various groups.

well, i had interviews such as b***** tr_der/s_les en***eer.

the sensor-ed part serve as a purpose unable people to google about such related jobs.

c*nsumer b_nking, while on hold as back up.

the rest i kinda rejected them.

i suppose it has been going quite well. some firms almost did wanna confirm me.

as for b***** tr_der, the interview was pretty straight forward.

it talks about whether a not you're up to the game of lies and everything and to entertainment of course.

as for myself, i guess it's pretty much about values VS $$$.

now i truly understand why the man once said he feels lonely/tired/sad with his wine.

betrayal of your soul, your love ones.

you drink till your liver probably fails you one day.

all in all, for the sake of providing a better life for your family.

the many things we may enjoy today, may all be taken for granted. we didn't know we had actually put life at stake, shortening life span.

but well, it solely depends on what we want in life; luxuries or a simple yet truly cohesive family, without lies.

talked to my family about it, maybe it have yet to reach the age for the job.

hence, i guess i will fall back and stay focus as s_les en***eer which offers me a good p_y package where i can afford a car, and many traveling opportunities like Jap & other regional countries. All in all, it's probably far better than those new degree graduate's pay and definitely a good start.

well, managed to clinched the 2nd interview. will know the final result in the next 2 days or so. even if i failed, at least the interview experience was definitely a good one.

till then, play well with my part time studies, probably till when studies are done, i could take the risk and afford the game (single of course) as b***** tr_der.

betrayal doesn't seem to be allowed in my dictionary if attached.

back on the serious note, if the job prospect and progression is well to do, i aimed to be a senior s_les eng-er in 3 years time or till by then when i graduate.

the time line seems just right as of now; if confirmed till after probation period and till school officially starts next year.



Have you heard?

of the 7 year itch? where things become stagnant, how you feel today no longer stays the same, the other party walk out of you at your worse times.

the faster the progression, the faster passion burns out.

the ugly truth about life; sometimes you wonder how much you kissed, how much you love each other, how much of life and yourself you shared with your partner, how much bad times and good times you went through, and today you became just total strangers.

everything seems to boil down to ZERO value.

sometimes, people need to be tested through time with all the nonsense be it rationale or irrational:

be it your ugliest times
be it the times you are broke like shit
be it when you were angry and go bonkers
be it the times you're so sick and vomit
be it the times you're bedridden and can't even clean your own mess

is there any fairytale in here?

it's the reality of every aspect, in life.

i would once again, for the one i love.

but i guess i've enveloped myself, no longer feeling anything for anyone.

p.s. why waste time getting into r/s when all that ever happens has no forever? but only tearful memories for you to reminisce from time to time?



TURN OFF

it's pretty turn off to have people who text you like they know you damn fcuking well/ putting a judgmental comment on your character/perception SOOO soon when they hardly understand your past/experience.

don't love/like/interested in me soooo soon, i don't believe in that.

please, be my best friend at least before you try again.

-.-

today just seems so bluey, and i just don't know why.

pms always seems to come around when the month is coming to an end?

and seems like most of my post are always on the 28th.

people always seems to be reading more of my blog when it's near 28th as well.

btw, you don't really have to catch up with friends only when your 'current' isn't around in SG.

i do not really *like* the idea of them being make use of, to fill your void as much as i understand that we do have mutual friends.


your profile seems by far, consist the most amount of bedroom pictures.

please, save some pride and privacy for yourself.

there's USB and other means of file transfer technology than being really hardworking to upload them.

at least love and take care of your, name.

<<熟悉的陌生人>>

今天, went to run some errand

好久似乎没经过 Tampines Mall 了

最近忙到连想看部电影都没空

经过 Hokkaido Fair

她的影子从我脑海里浮现

也真巧的 给我碰上了

at the very moment while i was walking,

at the very second

and glance

我们...

擦肩而过 (加上中间人人所谓的 Big Hamster) - 封号不是我给的

...

你是否曾想过, 你能爱一个人到多久?

5年, 10年? 天长地久?

天长地久或许也只不过是爱情里一开始最虚伪的谎言

也是最终的痛苦

你是否曾想过, 你曾最信任, 最爱的人会变得如此陌生...

你是否曾想过, 今天与你度过最多时光的人会变得不曾相识.

many women told me, it's important to find someone who will love them for life.

yet again, when time allows us to take everything for granted.

when positive traits became magnified flaws today. (i.e. determination is seen as a positive character trait. yet, when it comes to break up, people seen you as being persistent; yet forgetting that it's actually your determination to work things out.)

everything has it pros and cons, nothing is regarded as good nor bad.

we're nobody to judge anybody.

"everything that happens today, is a replica. the difference lies in the caliber which suits the parameters for the process today.

if U changes with respect to Time. I remains the same."

as much as i love changes and challenges, i fear the change in a r/s. the agony of pain do actually haunt people subconsciously.

sometimes i wonder if it's fear that forbids me to commit into any form of r/s.

am i enclosing myself?

i want to be fair to them, i guess.

unlike when i know there are people who actually subconsciously tries to forget their ex-es by going for another r/s, leaving many things unresolved.

or sometimes when their "current" ain't free to company them, their mind went back to the past (start thinking/stalking) and also when they are subconsciously having comparison to their ex-es (for the good things; that's where they start to remember) when they're faced with quarrels or bad times with their "current".

being in one r/s ain't about sweet words that touches you. it ain't about the romances which you try to buy from ambiance/places. it ain't about the initial stage of love where hormones are burning, avoiding quarrels at all cost and you still hope for it to burn till ripe old age.

understanding, i say. love, care and concern.

& be your very true self. ultimately, who takes care of you best?

well..

you may be surprise; today, girls ask actually ask YOU out on a date, texts you ferociously even before you have the time to reply them. =.=

sometimes, life really makes you wonder about it's value.


有时候我心里会笑着说, "我的人生真的是所谓的; 人生如戏,戏如人生."


i do enjoy the solitary from time to time. peaceful, isn't it?



P.S. "熟悉的陌生人, 你好. 好久不见."

Life, Death & Love

most people will always think that my post is long. however, most of them always end up reading till the end.

interesting? or just out of curiosity?

an exciting day. worse case i've ever came across ever since i have been a medic specialist for the past 1 year.

fits was scary when i first saw it at airbase when i first became a medic.

heat cramps/exhaustion wasn't so much of fear then, despite the screaming in the resuscitation room aka emergency room.

today was a asthmatic patient, yet i was calm as well. but i regard it as the most interesting case just as i'm gonna ORD.

he collapsed and found by others.

upper and lower limbs were all cramped up due to the lack of oxygen going into his brains and the other parts of the body.

lungs looks really tight like vacuumed.

1 crab, 2 crabs and 3 crabs were all in the resuscitation room helping/looking.

you wonder why.

it's the organisation's day and they had a parade. the guy was a ad-hoc man who was out of course due to his medical condition. he didn't had any physical activities, yet his attack came just by purely walking down the stairway and found by big shots.

we seriously work like as if we were in the hospital emergency room.

i followed to the hospital, doc was at the back with one of my colleague.

sirens were on, and we really rush as fast as we could.

i even cut myself. =(

he was gasping for air, like earth was depleting of oxygen.

i guess i could feel that kinda anxiety and struggle, totally.

he came from a well off family and i shan't further talk about the background.

but his parents weren't panick at all, to my surprise (to rush down to pay him a visit).

"it wasn't the first time. there were many times and they were use to it. they need to work."

then i thought, "so what if this is the last time? what's next? cry?"

work over kinship or what?

taken for granted.

we'll never know when is our last day, our last time we could do something and leave this world without regrets.

today, have you not done something that you should?

saying sorry to the ones you love?

doing what you could have done to make things better or the world a better place?

today, 'we' saved one life.

i know, it's a fulfillment and an experience no one can ever feel.

i've never regretted what god has given me today, to be a medic. i know clearly what to do if anything happens. the 'panick' me has long gone.

life as it is, but we must do our best.

in his eyes, i could feel that gratefulness, the care & concern and love we've shown.

i suppose we'll always say, "never take life too seriously, or you'll never live out of it."

but i guess all of us were wrong.

it's meant to be serious business, making full use of what you have today and not taking every little things that has always been there, for granted.

be contented.

cherish what god gave you.

love is simple and so is romance.

money can only buy what you use and wear today.

it's the heart that you gave, the commitment and effort you want to put into.

never let go of the ones we love and love us the most.

it'll always be our lost, for not knowing how to appreciate.

well, BB saw me at CGH. she still could recognise me. it's really nice to see them working at hospitals.

S saw me at the resuscitation room while i was trying to get information, she just stoned and look at me for a few seconds, till her colleague nudged her.

i couldn't remember her name, and i didn't wanna recognise her at that point of time where her mask is on and i can't remember her name at the same time. but well, sadly she was too busy for me to try to say 'sorry, but do you recongise me?' but i knew she did lah, so i was kinda ps. Zzz.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Casual.

i've got lotsa things i wanna do and buy.

- prepare for admission test
- job hunting
- japanese/french lessons
- surgery (considering)
- iphone 4
- lasik (to be referred by my doctor)??
- teeth whitening?
- panasonic GF1 camera/ video cam (feels damn good about it)
- soft rebonding for my hair
- japan/nz/aus backpacking trip??? well, my doc did it with his friends at NZ for 1 mth, work and play. sounds good but khakis dependent.
- LV wallet from Espanol (to be brought by RP)
- bags bags and more bags
- watch watch and more watches

i doubt my invesments profits are sufficient to fund me for all these. but at least half of them i suppose? hopefully by then, salary will fund up the rest and other lobangs. to be completed within the next 1 year and trips gonna depend on schedules and etc. =.=

but will definitely head to aust next year to find a friend of mine.

well, over at jap i've got a childhood friend over there as well.

shall see what i can do.

well, that's life on a lighter note.

July is here to come, time to donate BLOOD!!!