sometimes.

sometimes it feels that whatever that was built was torn apart

life doesn't seem to be as beautiful as it was

building starts from scratch.

sometimes we only remember what's not done

we didn't cherish nor chose remember what has been done for us

it's our choice

a choice to be crude or don't, yet we find no reason in doing so

humanity.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

perhaps after all, you couldn't treat me as a friend

because a friend isn't treated that way

and i know you're trying hard

because you left yourself with unresolved feelings

unspoken.

as for me, i'm done.



the one i love has gone with time

today is the day i've stopped loving you

because you're no longer the one i love



i hope you find yourself

someday i would love to love the one i use to know once again



i appreciate friends whom had been by my side all these while, hearing me.

thanks alot.

i understand that it can it quite irritating because i took a really long time, because i was left hanging.

太爱了
所以我..

我放手 我让座
谁懂我多么不舍得..


-the end-


就让一切重新开始..

denial & change.

people change. because of pain/stress/hurt/environment they change.

reality force changes

change us

they forgot themselves

they start to live in denial

they start to deny their needs

then we start lying to ourselves

and everyone around us

they stopped communicating with their heart

losing humanity to ourselves

they forgot how they use to be

they forgot what they wanted

they do not understand r/s

nor do they bother to find out and understand

everyone start losing track

they start living virtually in reality

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

people do not appreciate your honesty

even the ones you love

values, beliefs which i had faith in

are against what i observed

somethings can never be replace no matter how hard you try to



hope they stop smoking

god bless you with good health





read some of the posts in 2007.

everything seems so beautiful back then.

雨天

现在窗外面又开始下着雨
太多的情绪没适当的表情..

mess.

complex. mixed.

all inside.

so much to do, yet i do not know why i've got this feeling of...

life's full of choices.

yet, there's no right or wrong.

follow your heart or use your brains?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

realized the growth of 3 white hair today. managed to pluck one.

and i think there's more. =.=

when will this growth stop?

am i thinking too much?

Xiao Jing Teng's version of Xing Bu Liao Qing really sing out the mood of the lyrics compared to the old version. At least that's how I feel.

night.

cold monday.

the day makes me feel so lethargic. so i spent abt 1.5 hrs in total today in 2 banks. it was a long queue... waste of my time.

carrying stacks of cash in bag was my 1st time, huge amount that i didn't imagine. it shall not happen again. better try to link up all my i-banking stuff. so, don't hope to rob me. =.=

settled the transactions and some paper work.

seems like things are kicking up with a good start.

hope to settle all the necessary, before i leave.

good night.

great Saturday night!

alright, i guess my post yesterday was a dumb one. perhaps just for that moment, i was feeling it this way. or perhaps, Friday night wasn't so enjoyable.

Had a good time at Wala Wala yesterday after attending SH's birthday at NSRCC. Cabbing is the way to go man. LOL. save time, less troubles. after some networking session with a taxi uncle who drove Mercedes, we exchanged numbers. he's probably gonna be my personal chauffeur for times when i need a cab, at no extra charges. how great is that?

feels good to meet up people whom i've not seen for a long time, most of them are my course mates. had a little catch up with my classmates as well.

there after i was really lucky to catch a cab inside NSRCC without the need to walk out or call a cab.

Rush to Tanah Merah MRT to pick J up, but had to change cab as uncle can't head to the west.

Holland V is just UP at night.

the place was so packed! that you probably can't imagine for a pub to be? but the cosiness of people brought out the whole atmosphere. and ambiance was great!

it feels like old school. like those western movie, where the college boys and girls would be hanging out in their mess, and having a mini concert.

the songs played were not very well known, as the genre was towards UK/US pop. probably to hype up a Saturday night.

surely, you'll be very much impress with the band, the singer cum guitarist, drummer, violinist, organist. i would say it's much better than Hard Rock, though the songs and food at Hard Rock would probably be much more enjoyable.

you could catch the band at balaclava as well. but i guess wala wala is a much cheaper place to chill compared to balaclava.

shall try next time on Friday, with a different band.

so at the last segment, many decided to make dedications.

and so did i.

starlight, always be my baby and viva la vida were very well played compared to my experience at Acid Bar. probably because of the presence of drums & organs.

this time, i would say they have nice fried chicken wings!

so with some sapporro, corona, fries, chicken wings & the band, it's just GOOD.

my phone contacts now are filled restaurants/pubs/bars/cafe and not forgetting my personal chauffeur!

coming weeks are kinda queued with programs. hmm..

i guess i should seriously stop liquors! esp. scotch whiskey. =.=

and perhaps more pubbing sessions. =]

*yawnz*

a day to "nua" at home after all the late nights the past few days.

蕭敬騰：新不了情

for the day

he is expressing his anger & his feelings. the following isn't meant to hurt/offend anybody.

when you know, whatever that were said were lies & excuses.

when you know that no matter how hard you tried, people doesn't reciprocate.

when people do not respect you much less a being.

because an animal doesn't even wait for more than 24 hours for his food, much less a friend.

be it excuses, they are as good as lies.

you've got your pride, it doesn't need to be stepped on.

you don't deserve it because everyone tells you that "you did your best and you've done your part".

because ALEX LEE is never dumb, he is equipped with relevant knowledge, and a little smartness you never know for those who knows me for "god-mind-you" years.

my research & IT/web skills are never very lousy. my cross referencing of sources i have are never as shit as well.

and so, i'm not saying i'm a professional here.

Never lie or give any form of excuses with your eyes WIDE OPEN.



and so i seek forgiveness, and you kind understanding of how i am probably feeling.

thanks.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

perhaps only when near death, people then realize their hidden love and affection.

what's humanity? when are you going to start living?

it's time.

if that's happiness to you, carry on.

i'm not your game.

fulfillment.

had a good time out with the NSmen the past few days. seriously expanding my network and checking out the market trend.

i would say it's a satisfying week.

did a number of dressings out in the field. from as small as blisters, massive bites, deep cut on the tibia area (bleeding profusely =.=), and abrasions on back. you can never imagine how disgusted an abrasion back would look like. i'm seriously satisfied with the dressings i did, and i could feel the appreciation i received from the older adults.

probably that's the reason why i am good at wrapping up presents?

heard many stories shared by the NSmen as well. perhaps it's due to the generation gap? or perhaps i've yet to reach the age of 27.

some had partners 3-4 years, and they ain't have any intentions for marriage. one feel bored and on the verge of making this decision to break. some had partners, married, yet they play like nobody's business behind back doors. and it's quite surprising, because they really look superb decent. my initial conversations with them never seem to test out any form of indecency. =.=

because we reached contentment and we're looking for more? forgotten love?

perhaps real love doesn't exist Alex, or in this reality? where you really do hope that the one you held your hands with, would be the one who you would walk till the end with you.

and perhaps, honesty doesn't matter to people. do they? or should i say people no longer has conscience?

they lie. they lie because their mind say so and worse of all, they lie to themselves.

people are living in denial for decisions they made in life. many a times, these decisions ain't what their heart are telling them. they were all made because their mind say so; forced by the change in reality of our changing life.

we're not connecting to our heart, are we?

EL told me this today:

beauty lies in the imperfections.

so i continued and said so we need to embrace the imperfections.

i embraced totally.

but how many people could embrace the other's party imperfection easily, in order to live together?

it's difficult, it's tough.

alright, Davidoff's Hot Water for tonight!

復刻回憶



你还好吗好久不见 又来这里这个老店
后来的你喜欢了谁 我们聊聊天
现在的你一样美丽 至於爱情是个回忆
她不爱我他离开你 爱会来就会去

在不同的城市努力 偶尔也会想想你
这样的我那样的你 要很久才相聚
我们都没说那遥远的曾经 我们也没提故事的原因
青春的复刻回忆像一片云 没法子抓在手里
我们的眼泪在复习着过去 我们的微笑是彼此的氧气
复刻的回忆是封挂号信 多远都可以找到你

窗外的树爱哭的风 烦恼的我聪明的你
爱是什么什么人懂 所以别难过
心还痛吗请忘了吧 所谓幸福是个童话
后来的我一切随意 所以没关系

在不同的城市努力 偶尔也会想想你
这样的我那样的你 要很久才相聚
我们都没说那遥远的曾经 我们也没提故事的原因
青春的复刻回忆像一片云 没法子抓在手里
我们的眼泪在复习着过去 我们的微笑是彼此的氧气
复刻的回忆是封挂号信 多远都可以找到你

午后的闷热的窗外的一场大雨 让我们看见了以前的自己
把时光倒转回那一季 那年的梦他乡的你

chill max-ed: wonderful saturday!

watched my sister's keeper with G.

& she teared.

not as touching as i expected, or maybe i'm not connecting enough?

or maybe i've gotten rid of emotions?

i was on the verge which gives me the sian feeling.

acid bar was good. a total of 3 different band played through the night.

my dedication that was made, was played as well. like FINALLY. =]

previously when i go to bars, my dedications were never successfully made.

perhaps this time i didn't chose an old school song.

this was the first time i could sit in a bar for so long.

they've got nice wedges!

G & I just sat there, appreciating musics/wedges/beers, talk cock.

& we ended up a little drunk.

nice place to really chill.



i should seriously STOP drinking & spurging tentatively at least for the next 2 weeks. =.=

Alex needs to be a little more discipline.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

i'm in an endangering case.

i've a total of 6 white hair. plucked 3.

i've been pucking white hair weekly. everyday i'll spot at least 2.

it's growing more than i expected compared to when i was studying my 'O' levels and during my poly days.

i think soon enough, my hair will all turn white.

haiss.

Nice Quotes.

Someone asked me, "Why do you keep loving someone who doesn't love you back? There are tons of fish in the water." I simply replied, "Just because it's also water, would you drink from the sea?"

"No matter how crazy and funny the scenes around you are, they are useless without the person you want to laugh with.."



Alright, i'm out!

haha.

everyone tells me, "i believe you'll find a better one".

yes. surely, i will or maybe the future would be her again?

but no doubt she was or has always been great too.

just because you truly love, it doesn't mean you have to forget or hate.

remember the little and many things she has done for you, and the many things you have done all together as well.

you chose only the good things.

simple. =]

complete.

cold soup. =.=

browsed through HK cafe, then moved on to coffee club.

ended up at manhattan.

took my time to enjoy the food. =]

i guess this weekend is packed with dates & programmes.

looks good.

at the same time i couldn't seem to stop myself from spurging on the various things and i just kept cabbing like free. arghhz.

money will be rollin' in, no failures. =]

aahhh. good week.

next week gotta be busy, but should be fun.

nice bag. love it.

waiting for my new collection of perfumes from mum!

having GA's attitude, ferragamo & ck's euphoria.

my daviddoff's hot water, givenchy pi neo and ck's gold summer are incoming.

simply obsessed with perfumes now.

next would be my ray ban sunglasses for my trips? AX's jocky cap?

upcoming holidays are all well planned.

some anticipation ahead..! =]

82: 心跳

你的眼神充满美丽带走我的心跳

你的温柔如此靠近带走我的心跳

好想要回到我们的原点..

blue blue, gloomy gloomy. not so good day, but evening onwards it gets better.

probably it's the weather.

& i guess for most people.

at least for the next 1 week if i am home, i'll be enjoying some form of peace.

sweet.

sian.

i don't wanna work lah. =.=

perhaps most of the time, what we portray is what we think we feel. but we don't really feel that way, do we?

but i know, as for my blog. it's about how i feel and not what i think i feel. perhaps verbally, people would be taking in "what i think" rationally, and may not be what i feel.

your thoughts & emotions just goes the opposite.

afterall, your reactions will display your subconscious thoughts unknowingly.

night night night everybody.

79: 记得

tired. i had been drained out totally these few days, both physically & mentally.

i did my best to clinch my gold, despite the fact that i hadn't train for past 6 months, i was still able to run below 10. it was mind over body. though i was only seconds away from my goal, with some conditioning, i should be able to get it the next round. however, results are considered good.

work related issues are more or less resolved professionally. i'm glad. a planner will always seem unfair, people start getting skeptical with assumptions. but after tabulations, i guess i had done my job with much conscience.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

so just then, as i was searching for my stuff, i saw these 2 pieces of paper which i kept long ago. it was titled "T D-C".

time has been long, expectations grew further when the basics were satisfied, then everything became disappointments.

how do we relate dependency with loneliness? we're all independent people, yet we still paired up and depend on the support given by each another. we both had gave ourselves in different ways. as it was true, we've brought out the best in each other.

my ego has gone with time, with you; from the day i kneel down and told you how much you meant to me.

perhaps loving you wasn't sufficient.

don't ask yourself why we had chosen each other. because there isn't any reason when love happens. it has been a long vacation for us this time, a test of time for the love we shared.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I know the journey we've walked wasn't easy. The tears we shared, the times we have. It's irreplaceable.

谁还记得爱情开始变化的时候
我和你的眼中 看见了不同的天空
走的太远 终于走到分岔路的路口
是不是你和我 要有两个相反的梦

谁还记得 是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话 是我们以后的伤口
过了太久 没人记得当初那些温柔



我依然记得
我和你手牵手 说要一起走到最后..