My Life, My Perception.

Somehow, I feel a little emotional. To a point, I remember my blog; to blog, to get my feelings down over my dear e-diary.

Looking over the past months, life seems to past very quickly. I’ve got my license months ago during one of the days in SIP. Life seems to be a little so sick sometimes. Still, I learn every part of it, appreciating every moment of it.

Just like a normal boy, I’ve got to wake up early for work. Sometimes waking up as early 5 plus a.m in the morning during the first few weeks, reaching home as late as 8pm. Though the frequency of such circumstances seems seldom, I often labeled these days as the difficult days where God tries to make things difficult for me. Especially those times when you missed a buy and you got to wait for goddamn 20 minutes and later on squeezing and standing, paying $0.65 for less than 2.4km bus rides.

Flashback on days being a newbie towards taking MRT, I’ve got to squeeze like “shiat” at doors and I remember having a 40 year old aunty face as close as I could see every blemishes she have despite the make-ups she tries to put on. Despite the tiredness which I suffered from traveling, I’ve got nights which I’ve got to entertain friends and girlfriend who is free way back before examinations, hoping to spend some good time with me. Yet, there were quarrels which makes me feeling even lethargic towards tomorrow.

Still and no doubt, comparing the life of luckier others, I ain’t very lucky after all. Rich kids can have cars to drive to work daily for their SIP. Even if SIP is at Jurong or Tuas, life isn’t so difficult after all. At least, they do not have to wait for bus, rush for MRT the moment they see the “arriving in 1 minute” and you got to run up escalators up to the platform. Looking at time every quarterly when reaching the destination, to take note of coming bus, and rush from platform to interchange the moment you alight the MRT. The next thing which I did and not many other do is to rush for the internal shuttle bus in NUS the moment you saw it and uncles do not give a damn sometimes, despite looking at you running after it. Thus, sometimes I gave up hope of waiting and walk up slope, run up slope. These precious times, could save me getting home earlier, having more time for myself.

At this moment I realized problems which I had in relationship. If you think that having a rich girlfriend and most of the time, you could be happy, then you’re wrong. I realized myself being able to taste and caught in between the feeling of being rich and not so rich. Being rich, often than not, you tend to be pampered. However, not necessary spoiled usually, pampered with good food, nice clothing, accessories, car to drive anytime you like. In amidst of enjoyment, we sometimes forgotten our very love ones. No doubt I may forget sometimes. However, every start of my enjoyment of a rich kid, I remember my parents, my family, my friends who ain’t so rich, hoping that they’re around, enjoying life with me.

You may ask, what’s with having car to drive, or rather being pampered? Being able to enjoy good food and personal materials, you forgot what’s bad. You tend to be more money minded, you want to be rich. You can’t stand the fact if your boyfriend says, “What if I can’t afford you to live like what you’re living now?” You’ll question him and tell him why is it that he can’t do it and etc. However, not say he’s not trying. He’s looking for an answer, an answer he seek. A truth - you want bread or do you want love. For love, no matter what lies ahead in the future, we’ll always learn to work out together as one. However, people change and we became more negligent towards feelings, when you’ve the extending privilege to use or do what you can as you grow up. Patience, once a virtue admired, now lost.

If you notice, rich people tend to forget about time. For them, money isn’t a problem. Hence, midnight taxis aren’t a problem to them. They’ll choose to hang out late. They prefer nightlife, and often than not, its more expensive. They tend to be less punctual, and do not keep track of time. They can either get a cab or drive on their own, they rush and later they complained tired and not doing this or that well, because you rush them. Yet, they’ve took the time in the world to bathe, to make up to pack. They can’t seem to pack finish. There’s always things left undone.

Perhaps, being the majority pack in the MRT/buses train the sense of urgency, punctuality and being less forgetful. Why? It all boils down to time. We know if we didn’t do something, we’ll be very very very LATE. If you didn’t prepare the night before, you’ll have to waste some time preparing in the morning, and if you woke up late by a little, everything’s going to slow down, you’ll reach bus stop late, you can’t reach the bus stop before the clock hits the next quarter, you’ll miss at least 3 MRT, you’ll later miss the next bus and so on.

Logical? Virtues are cultivated and not meant to be taken for granted. Especially when your love ones treat you with patience, never forget that they never blasted at you despite mistaken done umpteen times by you. Negligence is not inevitable, it depends on the love you have in heart.

I guess my parents did well in controlling privileges I’m allowed and not allowed. Though these are some complaints about life, I know I’m born into the right family which both my mum and dad give their unconditional love, never neglect any of us.

It was great to taste the making of my mum’s chili combined with my dad’s skills of chili crab and they’re unstoppable weekly marketing for fresh food. I’ll also never stop loving those durians my dad chose. He’s just too skilful. I wonder if I could be as good as him and have a wife as good as my mum persistence in us. Though, there were bad times, after all we still grow and matured into disciplined adults.

I ask myself again… what’s love…?

I hope we can go through hardships… so we’ll learn and grow together…