So again, I went to MOS yesterday. This time, with Dearest and her friend ST, R and S. The 5 of us. Weird combination initally though, however we had quite some fun bouncing! LOL. So, S drunk and was high. Thanks for trusting me again. It was suppose to get you loosen up, destress. Allah, it's my fault.

Wahaha. So, R was abit stiff till he gets into the mood? LOL. S was crazily strumming his air-guitar and drumming his air-drums. We were on steps, so perhaps he had felt that he was having his very own ROCK concert? LOL. But I'm glad that he gave it all out? Loosen up and let it out? Even dearest said so too. Initially, ST was saying that I was bad. LOL But, whatever it is, I know what I should do and should not. I'm not making him drunk nor intend to do so. Just get loosen up, bounce, dance, party and... Feel the BEAT! He was seriouly crazy doing all his acts lah? Which I think many of our class people will never get to see what he did. Every strums and drums he made was with the beat you see. Especially the strumming part, he was cool with it man. I think he should go learn rock guitar or something.

I feel.. every pound coming out from the speaker... Enjoying every single beat of it. Giving myself all out!

I guess all of us enjoyed. I felt bad for leaving ST to go home alone? She was great? But perhaps kinda sian sian also? Maybe cause she didn't drink much and that's why. Still, she listened to her BF I guess. After that, we took a cab and thong at *. Ruben was cool; he did not go home at all and Dearest and I sent him to school for his DRP. Woot.

After that, I went home and had a long sleep again. Perhaps for more on what we did, you can visit R's blog @ http://www.blog.platodino.com/. Something interesting also happened. About $ part. Perhaps R will blog that. I'm lazy to do so. Zzz.

And so... Dearest is going there next week with her class again. Hope she listens to me too! Hope to go else where the next time. St James or Zouk perhaps. If a big group go would be even better? I see group of peeps occupying the so called "small stage" and bouncing crazily!

I'll be bouncing at CPTC next week onwards. Zzz. Shucks.

Things changed and everything changes. The feeling of this so called “buddy” also becomes different. I knew the verdict though I told PS 80% chance. But still there might be a chance for time to reveal certain things? Perhaps.

Trust is lost in friendship and hence it goes over to love. Perception to change; but there is a need for reasons to do so. Then, it’ll all be deceptions.

Here I am; a director watching and directing this movie. However, I failed to see my own ending and left it in suspense. Whatever it was, it was the friendship. The lady has nothing to do with me. I never regret what I did. I would have still done the same things.

What a careful use of my tenses here. I sort of feel an ache in my heart.

All the best dude.

For past moments, I’ve seen how complicated things are. Perhaps not for the situations, but the characters. I feared that things might turn sour between love and between friendship/ brother-hood.

As expected...

The word betrayal will come in, sooner or later. Papers can’t wrap up fire. I knew you couldn’t take it. I’m too frank? I don’t want to lie nor hide from you. There are reasons and situations which lead to these. I’m cool with it if you mentioned “trusted”; once and never again. I was mentally prepared for these to know more, to advise you better?

Don’t numb yourself with panadols. No one can save you but yourself. No point thinking. Perhaps conclusion is here to come. I did all I could.

I felt your hatred, confusion, saddness, pain and hurt, betrayed. I believe this friendships of ours will be stronger.

I’m out of the picture now waiting for verdict.

And now, dearest is PMS-sing. zzZ.

Man, the 3 days 2 night was fast. Very fast. It felt like a dream when actually you’re lacking of sleep. Zzz.

So Day 1 was quite good time spent? Dinner was like a family? Less hassles and washing. Cost saving too as S had treated us this dinner. Thanks buddy. So sad that A wasn’t around lah… What BRO wedding… Zzz… PS us lor…

Went night cycling at the start like 1am? And thanks K for company back to get my bike. It was not easy ‘lobang’ K with those flimsy bikes and with tyres not enough air. I was so easy shagged. K tried to ‘lobang’ me sia… but it was scary.. almost going to get hit by on-coming van! Zzz. Back, it was long wait here and there as few of us got wet by R and M. It was seriously sticky and hence I guess that was why some of us was crazy and just jump into the pool. And R seems like a all time drunk guy? LOL.

So it was night cycling. It was my first time cycling to Changi Village though. So I check out road sign and etc. It was all the way straight… but there are several uphill to overcome… Ladies got injured and so I kind of felt wasted when we had traveled so far. At that moment I was confused by the road sign, Naval Air Base? So I supposed we went the wrong way... so since the ladies are injured… we cycled back… so double check the sign again, I was right though. So after much discussion, S and K sent the girls back and R and I had a long slacking time at the bus stop.

After much waiting, they were back with F and another S. Both punctured after meeting us. Zzz. They were way back behind though. S was good man. He was able to take the pain of cycling. Impressive. So the 2 punctured cycled back. 4 survivors left. Went all the way straight and there we are… Changi Village… The ladies were just probably 2.5km more to Changi V from the place of accident occurred. Felt wasted for them though. Partly was my fault I guess; should have said to carry on rather than by saying head back!

Had wanton noodles while R had his duck noodles. The chilli was nice. So overall the wanton noodle is nice. Then, I had my Teh Susu while the rest had their ice milo. So we cycled back and K suggested to change bike with me. So I had the small bike which PS rented. The 4 of us were like the wild hogs lah… LOL… R had seriously enjoyed the cycling too! But he sweat way too much than I did. Zzz.

2nd day was Sentosa. So it wasn’t so fun but more like we enjoy each other’s crapping and rain and etc. Sentosa now don’t have kayaks and many volleyball court! So NO Sentosa till further notice man. Surprisingly, there wasn’t much people there unlike during poly-holis where u can see many klike TP students have hang outs there. Again, R was drunk in the amidst of our fun. He has his so called ‘Singapore Island Tea’ = Sentosa Island Tea. And A who just joined us went to pick some guys up and gayed with them and we got free volleyball to play with. He was perhaps attractive to those guys? LOL.

Dinner was at food republic and dessert was at Ben’s and Jerry. Dinner was filling and mine and A was the most worth it. Haha. Along way back to chalet was a long bus ride. It was fun I guess? All of us got a good rest too. It was sooo COLD in the bus. SC was like all the way sleep with his head bend. No wonder he’s getting his body bend…So went back and played the BurntOut car game. It was cool! I like it. Me and K manage to unlock a few more cars. And I think I’m PRO in the Sunshine Key map liaoz. With CPU was even more fun! Must have skills to take them down; got first place a few times with that map too. Other map I’m suck at it. The other map roads were dark and badly lit. Can’t really see. Zzz.

In the room on the last night, A and I got the bed all to ourselves. I guess PS and H too yea? LOL. There were 2 missing person through the night...

Last day was pack up and go. I was too tired to cycle by then so didn’t join the rest for breakfast. But back at home I had donuts from the Donuts Factory. My mum queued for 2 hours plus just to get 1 box of it. It was nice. No wonder she said there are so many queuing for it…

Slept all the way till 3pm and I had my lunch? And back to sleep till 5 plus. Dearest called and I went to her godma’s house for dinner. Went to the airport to drink my Teh Susu again at Kopitiam at T1 and it is like Ya Kun kind.

Slack and chat at T1 till 12.30am, reacted the day she left me for Japan for her to see. LOL. Then she drove me home and chat in the car for sometime. Reached home like 1.15am Doze off and Zzz…

Finally received my darling's call. So touched. Great warmth received I suppose. I couldn't help but to start shedding tears. It's like for 7 days, 3 messages only and no voice calls completely you see. emo guy? But I just couldn't help it. I tried to control you see. I miss her lots. Coming back in another 3 days... Seems like a 3 years and 8 days...

Argh... Still crying now though. ='(

Hurry come back my dear. Miss you every secs.

Had my e-trial test again today early morning. Woke up at 6.45am and I was so dead. Zzz. Thinking about my plans was to go gym after my e-trial, is like... Zzz. I'm forcing myself to go Gym you see. I has been a week plus since the last time I went. Don't go and your muscles will just sag.

So I wasn't late this time. E-trial test continue after I got logged out that time. FAILED! * questions got wrong bah. Zzz. Carry on doing the next 2 and again was just pass. Those which I'm unsure, I got wrong. Why? Purposely put an answer which I feel is less correct than the correct answer. Then, I'll learn mah. So, after taking each test, I'll just scheme through the wrong ones in less than 2 mins?

So met up G for gym. He became so fair now. Zzz. Less tone too. So he was like cpmpany me most of the time? Ask him do, he like can't concentrate. Perhaps it was due to his "abit sick". So S bastarded me last minute for lunch which was pre-planned. Suppose G was going home (I asked him to join me for lunch, but he said he was anti-social), so I was going to bastard him since he says he's going to finish some of this stuff and internet shopping.

So S again, bastarded me last minute. Research and research... Not sian ah? Zzz. Shag man I guess?

So, had lunch with G and planned to go sun tant. Sun played with us. So... I feel bastard again. It shine a moment and doesn't shine the next. Cloudy day.

So, G and I decided to go home. He do his stuff and for me, I got a great sleep. 3 plus till 6 plus. It just show how tired I am. Zzz. Luckily, I wasn't trekking today with the Dr. Ong. zzZ.

Great weather today. 4 more days and she'll be back. I'm counting down still. I wonder what happens if she's goanna leave me fore overseas study... Sia lah... then should I also follow? Nah, I wanna go SMU for business. Anticipating it. Left 2 semster, abit more to hit gPA of 3 liao. Wasted my first year in TP in joining DB and Asc. That period, I could have focus better and get better grades. From the past 2 semster, less commitments towards school and my gPA is increasing. 2.9 is my next target. Possible? Hopefully.

Japan reception is bad man. I guess she can't really send me SMS. I tried calling her, but can't get through. Saddening.

Alright. FT test tomorrow. Got to be careful of tricks. Another long day. Got to go Venture Era to learn certain health products. If it's goanna be sucessful, I'm goana get my own car as early as 26/27? Anyone interested? Haha. I guess you guys would say, irritating sales promoter. But but.. give me a opportunity to at least present ah? There had been really sucessful sales personnels who drive BMW at very young age. Zzz.

Good Night myself.

Yesterday went TM with S to get his shoes and spects. Someone was on a spending spree you see. So, he treated me movie “The Messengers” which initially I was quite reluctant. However, since we’ve got nothing to do and I didn’t feel like going home, so yea. S also paid for the cab to send me home. Initially, I was serious in walking home as I don’t know why… I just don’t wish to go home? So, S was my date for the day. Sweet huh? Ok lah, so I owe him a treat.

Perhaps… this coming new week? When I get my tuition fees, I’ll be not so broke. Missing lessons here and there, money is running in slow nowadays. Unlike previously, I can get about $400 plus from tuition for a total of 24 hrs of teaching per month… and an additional of parents allowance… introduce me some students anyone? I’m in need of CASH. Zzz.

Bored. I miss her. Zzz. Had my e-trial test today and I pass it on first trial without really studying for it? It was just passed though. LOL. Didn’t have time to try the 2nd test due to the lack of time as I was late you see. For 2nd test, I did 48/50, and then the program logged me out.

Anyway, after that I went to Espirit @ Parkway to check clothes out as I’ve got the last $8 voucher with me. Wanted to pass it to S though, but he’s busy. So yea, my budget this time was $29.90 but none of them attracted me… partly… I didn’t have mood to even try them u see… When she isn’t around, that’s me. The others were either expensive, not worth or not nice. Partly, I’m quite broke recently too. Zzz. There is orangey-red shirt which is like... zzZ… the colour was disgusting la?

After that, I went to buy chocolate-durian ice-cream at scoopz which we always had when we were there. Then a slow walk to talk No.12 opp Roxy Square. Dozed off in the bus after that.

Alright, 6 more days. Hurry come back my dear. We’ll go roller-blade!

Alright. Dearest has left me for Japan for a 10 days vacation. I’m definitely goanna miss her. Anyway, on Thursday we spent our last day at the Zoo and after that was dinner at Chomp Chomp. I planned the events, she planned the route and I directed her. Dinner was great. It’s definitely better having dinner at Lagoon. There’s no long queue and no self-service. Just order and food will be served for you. I guess it’ll be the place where we’ll be feasting more frequent next time.

While having BBQ chicken wings, I was thinking if S brother was goanna be with me, he can’t enjoy the food BBQ chicken wings which is very nice. But anyway, if we would be going out to eat next time, don’t be conscious and DON’T ASK lah… Just take it as MINE sin will do. I think I can help you seek forgiveness from Allah after I… *Touch-wood*. Perhaps he would tell me, it isn’t my fault. Some people add in extra pepper and salt to what I said. No offence though. I respect other religions.

But… S… don’t ask! As long as I don’t feed you curry with aaa… PORK can liao lah..!

Sometimes religion is such a constraint which forbids you to enjoy wonderful food here. I’m sort of half Buddhist, but I still take beef sometimes. Anyway, from what I learnt in GC, people in china take beef and they are Buddhist. Anyway, religions in Singapore definitely have add-ons; otherwise Singapore wouldn’t enjoy the racial and religion harmony.

On the way home, we had some tiff in the car. However, we still ended up on the verge of tears when we bided goodbye. Ok lah, I admit I was in tears and she was on verge can? But she admited she cried on the way home… Act strong in front of me loh… Perhaps, the day was very well spent you see. It was wonderful times and walks spent in the Zoo. It’s like trekking. I love trekking. However, overseas trekking would be much better. Anyway, during the late afternoon it was raining and we still tried carry on walking under our small umbrella! it's was enjoyable.

Before anything, I would like to mention that S brother n R pal bastarded me yesterday. I was so lonely lah… you baskets…

Here are the photos @ Zoo:

Photographer: Alex Lee ... Artist: Sun Wukong?

Photographer: Alex Lee/ Diana Chew ... Artist: Greedy Squirrel

Photopgrapher: Diana Chew ... Artisit: Komodoo Dragon (Nice Shot done!)

Photographer: Alex Lee ... Artist: Animal Poster (He's definietly posting for me)

Best Photography Award: Alex Lee ... Artist: Fluorescent Scorpion

This is a special scorpion which lights out, it glows you see.

Actual Picture of him is...

Observe the RED bulb man... it can open one RED Light District le lah..

Last but not least... Another award for our Catfish in TP... Here's the plaque:

No more catfish. It's flying frog. Come to think of it, he looks like one bah?

I did not found this. Dearest did. Opps. Thanks R for his Publicity too.

For more information on Catfish: http://www.blog.platodino.com/

HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY READING MY BLOG. FIRST TIME POSTING PHOTOS!

Byebye...

so I've found the correct spelling. It's Tequila Shot.

Found some ways to drink it. Lick, Dunk and Suck. So, you lick the salt, dunk the shot in and suck the lemon.

Anyway, as Dearest mentioned, I was pick up by an eurasian guy at Mac behind Novotel Hotel. NR was wanting to buy a drink so we were there.

Eurasian Guy, E (starting line): Hey boy (me) and girl (D). (I suppose he was going to pick D up)

Facing me.

E (Pick Up line): Have I seen you before?

E (mumbling as he was drunk): You look angry. Are you angry?

Me: Huh?

E (mumbling again): Are you angry? You look angry.

Me: Huh?

We: we got to go. Bye. (NR finished buying his drinks)

Safe. Phew... He's seriously drunk. No paedophile/bisexual please. I'm straight and not turn on by guys! Gross...

So many things to be said and share! How’s my life these days? Fun, enjoyable.

These mornings I’ve been busy with my driving. Zzz. Really so call “chiong” my driving lessons… Hopefully I could get my test date on June 13. Anyway, should have complete my FT earlier. But it’s ok, I don’t have a car. Not a rush.

Movie Review
Pursuit of Happyness is a good movie. It’s inspiring. I would rate it 4/5. I wonder if there is any book on it, I would seriously like to read it. The phrases used are motivating. It’s just like Tuesdays with Morrie. However, Tuesdays with Morrie is definitely better. It covers the wider scope of life. For , the inspiration lies on the motivation to move on with life when it’s really and actually very difficult to move on.

Will smith is good and so is his son. There is a connection in the show. To think about his life, I would probably in a depressed state. With wife leaving you, you’ve got to take care of your son, make food for him, and entertain the tenant who couldn’t understand you (because he needs the money too); so you paint the house and get into trouble with the police for forgetting to pay parking fees. Then, you’ve a thick bible to read and study to be a stock broker.

If you notice, no matter how hard life is, he still carry himself with pride and backbone. Anyway, to read a book would allow me to have a more in depth literate analysis.

For 300, it’s a good show. It’s more of war, pride, glory and fame. The Spartans’ battle skills are impressive. However, you can see that you’ve got to stay humble and conscious at all times; and not smile. Otherwise, your head would get chop down by enemy unnoticeably.

So, yesterday was D’s sister and cousin birthday. I didn’t brought any presents. But I wished him “Happy Birthday”. Money is going to be passed to D to buy presents in Japan when her whole family goes overseas.

Anyway, dinner was at Yan’s Palace. Near Chinatown? I think so. Food was good. Every dish was reasonably well cooked. I would rate 3.5/5. D’s parents booked 2 tables in a Kara Room. So dinner was again with sing songs, with oldies and young songs mixed. I guess it cost like 800 bucks for that dinner? Food were too much that from the No. 6 – No.9 dish onwards have to be packed home. No. 10 is the desert, mango pudding with the milky thing which I forgot what it’s called. Zzz.

Then, as they said the night is still “young” which to be is quite old because I sleep usually that time, I lost my virginity.

Not incest please. I’m just no longer a virgin clubber. Zzz.


So, it was my first time going clubbing at MOS. D’s godfather paid for the 8 of us. It cost like $28+++ for male and probably $25+++ for females? I don’t feel good about it as I planned to pay for myself. As the previous day, they treated me to Japanese Buffet at Miramar Hotel and it’s like $30+++. I was reluctant as it’s like the family always treat you see. As for my family, there isn’t so much of food at restaurants. It’s usually food cooked at home. Hence, most of the time what I could do was to call her to my house for dinner.

Anyway, at MOS…

Hot Chicks.
Short/ superb short skirts.
Long Leg with heels (HOT).
Caucasians.
Singaporeans.
Prostitutes? LOL.
Heart pounding musics.

Anyway, it’s my first time there. The music is super loud which I for those who had never been before can’t imagine. At the dance floor, the music seems to penetrate your heart and your already pumping heart seems to be vibrating and pumping at the same time. Hence, I avoided the dance floor and shake my ass at the sides. Assay you sleep on the dance floor, I think the next morning you couldn’t wake up and would have a very good sleep. By then, you’re deaf as you exceeded the exposure limit! (adapted from OSH). Haha.

Anyway, short skirts, long legs and heels turn me on. Don’t say I’m pervert lah, which guys doesn’t look? But usually they are taken. LOL. But there is a girl dancing at the R&B side, dancing her “S” move and with hands on her long hair. You can imagine how hot it was. And I think NL who’s in his thirties was like keep looking lah?

For me, I wasn’t so obvious, I just make glances. If D wasn’t there, I would have dance by her side already lor… Anyway, I think after a while she left for somewhere. She walked passed me and I think she sort of purposely brushed my shoulders. My shaking body with hands NOT shaking at that moment, brushed passed her upper tight lah! It wasn’t meant to be man. Her skirt was short and she didn’t choose to keep left which was like got space I suppose? It is lane discipline… Anyway, when she was back, I did feel her eyes looking at me and sometimes NL though it was dark. LOL.

Anyway, clubbing is not worth to do so every time. It’s a waste of money. However, it’s a good place to meet up with long time no see friends and to chill out if you’re bored. I had cranberry vodka and stakoila shot? (spelling error?). It like little salt round a very small cup with liquor; you’ve to drink at 1 shot and later bite the lemon. It was “shiok” ah… I had 2 of it and I wasn’t high or drunk. More of like sleepy? LOL. They suppose I was, but I could still play chop sticks with D and win lehz.

NR’s girlfriend was impressed by my drinking skills and asked me if I drink often. But you see, I’m health conscious man. I don’t drink so often. D didn’t drink much as she had to drive us home. Anyway, she was really afraid to drink; otherwise she would get demerit points. As expected, we were stopped by police. It was road check, and D got checked and passed but still, fined $120. She forgot to put the probation plate you see. LOL. However, 1 more time she would get suspension and it would be 3 months.

When I reached home, I was dead tired. I called to comfort D and KNOCKED OUT. But I still woke up at 10? And she’s still sleeping I suppose.

This entry is long. Please enjoy reading. Anyway. Tokoyo Drift was good when played at clubbing!

All right. Everything is over! No more projects, no more exams... At leat for the next few months...

There're so much to blog about.. yet... Just didn't have the time to do so...

Before CNY...
I recall was superb busy... busy doing last minute of CSAS project edit... by the way... my peer apprasial was 4.4 and not 3.9 as was said by Ms Agnes Lee sia.. I think that person who was counting was trying to make some changes... -.-.. Otherwise why me but not others? LOL..

Anyway, luckily S encourage me to go find Ms Lee and check... But I smsed her ah... So... She actually went through and check everone's marks in the class too... Then, that's for school...

Back at home, clean up house and etc... get new clothes... it was preparation period...

For love, sadly... this year valentine was dearest termtest... we didn't celebrate... but we did had a make up after that... No presents... Just spending time... Hope she enjoy thou...


Then, it's CNY...
This year CNY was a a whole lot of shit. Didn't enjoy much. Due to upcomign exams, I didn't went out on the 3rd day of CNY... Stayed at home to study and good friend of mine came my house to teach me... Lucky got him to guide me through... Otherwise PCI could have been worse...

It was torturous to have exams with CNY man... It's like you can't get into focus and study well... However, after PCI paper... I really focus my UO2... Seriously hope that I could get a A... I never get a A before for my 5cu subject sia.. the most was B+ or otherwise B... and you know something... in poly... 2.5 marks away could be a grade difference.. 5 marks away could be a Z... it's all about the consistency and mental strength to focus daily and study hard for every test and quiz...


After exams...
Went out with R, J, S, S and W... J wants to eat new York sia.. But I remember it wasn't so nice... Anyway, it wasn't hala.. S can't eat... LOL.. so.. as what I initially suggested.. Muthu's Curry @ suntec..!

Oh mine... it's superb ok... the curry was seriously good.. we had the $30 fish head... and 5 of us ordered a side dish except for W.. It was worth it..! It's best that you eat in a group... if you're eating as a couple... then... it's be ex... and of course... you'll order a $20 fish.. which is a different grade of fish you see... So 5 is recommended and which include a girl.. Otherwise it wouldn't be enough.. LOL... Anyway, the bryani (not sure of spelling) rice wasn't that good... and it cost like $2.50 per person.. and it's not enough if you're a big eater.. it's like just 2 scoops? White rice cost $1.50 ehz.. and it'll be nice too I guess?

the malsa chicken was very good.. gravy is thick.. not spicy.. good taste of curry... and even if it's breast meat.. it's still tender and soft.. It's not like we say in dialect.. "sieap sieap" (tough) you know... chicken 65 (ordered by ruben) was great too... with the malsa gravy that i ordered... it was perfect!

The restaurant, i rate it 4/5. Anyway, my mum say go to the don't know what "Rist Coast Road"? Which was their first restaurant, would be cheaper? And they gave you those appetizer like the vege and etc... Not sure though... i'll check out more about it..

After which, we had bowling.. and W and I went home.. The rest of them go play Lan.. I was too tired already ah... Wanna be home and rest...

Anyway, i'll be updating my blog more often now.. 21 more days to final theory.. Must study liao sia.. zzz...

Anyway, this entry got lots of singlish and er... grammatical errors? So paiseh ah.. Next entry would be better... It's just another sharing session.. Must go makan and later go for driving liaoz... zzz... Byez....

I'm fine now. Hope things doesn't happen again.

It was so long since the last time I posted. So much to say, yet I have got no one to turn to. No one. This time, it’s broke up of a 3 years and 11 days relationship. So much of future that we thought about and planned. So many places and path we took. All came to a stop.

You were once sweet. You can go all the way to please me if I was angry for hours. Not now. U get agitated for little thing I do. No matter how inferior or scare I feel, I am still frank, faithful and no lies. This time, you lied.

A rule was made before the start of this relationship. No Lies. It’s simple, honest and truth. Then, there’ll be mutual trust. You knew it was on rocks, yet you still lied. Was it a way to make me listen? Or otherwise, should it be a better approach?

Haven’t I been a good enough boyfriend? Early morning to bring you to Chinese doctor, hopefully to correct your health as much as possible? Cooked for you when you were sick, help you with this and help you with that. Things changed and yet you didn’t notice. You don’t really bother about me a lot. Less care, less concern.

What do I mean? It doesn’t mean “have you taken your lunch”? When I was sick and fever, I companied for walks at shopping malls. You wanted to tried clothes, I disagreed. It wasn't a day for shopping. It was to talk and spend some quality time. To talk and share. However, come now, you say I don’t company you for shopping? Is that really so?

I wanted to taste your pineapple tarts once more… you always say you didn’t have time… is that really so? Then why do time spent with dogs is much more at home? Couldn’t the time be use for making tarts ma? When dogs were young, they needed extra care, I understood and you spent most of the time taking care of them. 6 dogs now, so how much could I expect more from you?

I just need your care and no lies. It is just that simple…

Let’s just split this relationship before and ever since poly life. Let’s think back and compare the treatment you have towards me. Why have I been so unreasonable? I have been all inside. I’m sorry, I couldn’t be any reasonable. I can’t think clearly anymore.

I put down my pride and ego. I understood the fact that a guy having too much of this, can hurt the girl a lot sometimes. I’m happy when you do well now too. Seriously happy. I could fully understand the sharing of joy in a relationship.

You treated it for granted. I put down my pride, you forget to respect it. You hurt it with your sarcasm, your lie and your excuses. If you were sarcastic, shouldn’t you already learn to be when I first knew you? Why only now and recently? Then come to tell me that your family upbringing. Is that an excuse or have you changed? Don’t you find that you’re finding more and more excuses for yourself? I never said all these.

Too close, too used to it. We tend to forget and treated what we have for granted. It has ended. Goodbye my angel. I miss those sweetness you once gave.

Oh well, exams are over and recently I had a class chalet. It was wonderful and enjoyable.

Pre-chalet mood was uncertainty which I experienced. I tell myself, it’s not going to be screwed this time. I went off early to meet SH for check in. Thanks a lot to him to make my class chalet a success. So like superman, I flew to pass Stingray to PS, drew money from my bank which belongs to the class and met did the check in plus inventory check. After meeting up with the rest, we checked in. I guess the first impression of the chalet was good. No doubt the place is cozy, comfortable and relaxing.

It was convenient for many too. I guess that was one reason why WL came for 2 nights. Glad. At least there are people making the effort. ZW too, I can sense that uncertainty and boredom in him initially. However, I guess he had mixed with us well w/o his usual buddies. Due to work, some check in late, so yeah… many of the food stuff and BBQin’ I got to look over, and I didn’t know where to find the stuff. Great that WL was there to aid me.

For 3 days, I guess many of us really relax. Not much house keeping this time, except that BBQ kind of make things messy and ME smelly. It took me don’t know how many bath to get rid of the BBQ smell on my hair and body on the next day. Zzz. Lucky with the aid of sauna, steam bathe, the smell kind of got rid… Then, had a game of soccer while some go Zzz… I didn’t know I still can have stamina to run and chase ball. I guess it’s just all in the mind. LOL. Shah didn’t played well though, we was irritated by the grassy. For me, nothing much until later when I sat on it and my butt felt a little itchy…

Dinner at pizza hut was a great one. LOL. We split into groups to have our meals. Hot and chessy. Then on the last night, I had majong till 3 am. After that I went off to the room to sleep and Shah was coming up with all the GAYS and dirty talks. So I guess the class should know who the real gay is now. LOL.

Out of 20 of us, 17 gave a chance and made this chalet an enjoyable and successful one. Oh, though Mega-Flame burns the throat and it also burned (bonded) the 17 of us together. Though not very bonded, it was better now. Keep up, and let’s move on AD24. Hopefully, we can have 1 more chalet yea. ARANDA again!!! I simply love the place. Any other better place?

First of all, Happy Teachers’ Day to all Teachers who have once taught me or who have shaped my life one way or another.

Today is Teachers’ Day eve, went back to PRCS today with my old pals. Miss being with them though and we even went to Party World for Kara! It has been a long time since we last hang out.

Would like to comment that the color combination of PRCS building seriously zZz. The gate seems like temple’s gate. RED COLOR. Special huh? Why? Ask the Principal. First, I met up with the OM Singh and Department of Head of PE San NOT Shan. Had my lunch with them on the table n chatted. Since I’m an ex-school student, speaking to them is so much carefree than before. After that, Razak came.

LOL. San n Singh was asking SM to get married early better. Razak says, “Alex, don’t listen to them, enjoy first. You can always adopt one.” 3 Generation types of people were present there. So just like the 9 pm show; Big Man, Small Man. Finally after 2 years, I manage to taste the food in school. Taste and feeling never change.

Once again, I inspected the room I love most in school, NCC Room. It was messy as expected. Before I left, it was comparable to Azhar’s NPCC room, though theirs was much cozier, but in terms of tidiness it was reasonably comparable.

After lunch I bulged into the staff room without calling up the teachers (while Joseph & company waited outside). I had a long chat with YYH. He was a wise man. Seriously wise. Maybe due to literature, the study of humanity, I’ve learnt to observed and understand people better than before. Last time, when he use to ‘suan’ me, I was affected of course. But I am a serious man who can’t take joke unlike now; skin thicker. Ha.

So how was life? Hectic, competitive, tiring. “Don’t have to bother how well people do, as long as you do your best and you have no regrets, it’s alright” “You’re hardworking; I believe you can do it.” Encouraging words which some how recharged the energy I’ve lost after a long time. No one does this in TP or ever since I left PRCS. I was touch at that moment. Thanks Mr Yeo.

After that, met up with Ms Chua, Luo Lao Shi, Mimi Lam…

Then the funniest man came into action; Mr Collin with his lame moves and cold jokes. More white hair, aged. I remember those times when he ran with us, giving us extra Maths lessons when we’re just Secondary 1 & 2, always “remedial time is 2.30 pm and till depends”. It's always until 6 anyway. The vain spot is there combing his hair, showing black face. I’m always scolded for being selfish, who just ran to the water cooler and take a sip after run which I wasn’t suppose to do so; Endurance, Determination, One for All, All for One. That’s the rules you play.

Mr Collin is a great teacher. He even wanted to pass me some exam papers for Science after I mentioned that I’m giving tuition to students. He too encouraged me; work harder and study hard! Without him, there wouldn’t be the Alex today here. He would be just as selfish and a guy who never learns. Chance. People need a chance. He gave me a chance to prove myself, a chance to change. Thanks to Singh and San too, otherwise I would have a Beta record now in my report book.

Then, changes took place during Secondary 3! That was 1 reason I wasn’t a counselor but a USM of PRCS only then. Anyway, the current Acting USM was the boy who I gave the “Best Cadet” award to when he was just Secondary One. He still remembers my name! I can sense from his eyes is full of respect! Ha, I’m afraid not up to it for my status now. So he asked me how to manage a unit and how to pull up the unit to Gold back. Then, tips were exchanged. Sad to say, after I left they dropped to Silver.

Then, tips are; be firm, mature, cool and steady, and train harder!

So I was talking about signing on Army and getting a degree during the sign on days with Mr Yeo. At least, during the 5 years I’ve income and pursuing a degree. Probably after 5 years, having a degree would help me get better jobs in the industry. He said “I see you to be potentially SAF last time leh, now I don’t think so!” LOL. What have I become? Potential for… Celebrity? Modeling? Okay, humble now. Shouldn’t be BHB.

I’m still thinking of ways to earn fast money though. I want a better life for my family.

So many teachers were still shock to know that Me and Diana were still together. They thought it was puppy love. Sad to say, I was much more matured than lah! That’s why it can preserver until now! Even Mdm Kamisah agreed! The rest of the praises given by her, I shan’t mention it. Haha…

All right. I’m motivated now! Studies aside for now. Gym harder!

Thanks to all Teachers. Cheers!

“Election is round the corner, vote for me.” This can be commonly seen in the whole of TP. Yes, many are running election; for studies club or TPSU.

“Hey Alex, you’re not running?”
“Nope.”

Sad huh? Or disappointment to those who wanted to support me, but can’t? Sorry pals, sorry people, sorry my friends. I have my reasons.

Hence, the latest news – 17 people are running for ASc main committee. However, some bias lecturers publicize for 13. Here’s the break down. Out of the 13, there are people who are non-subcommittee members. The other 4, 1 or 2 was sub-committee members. Obviously, it’s favoritism or biasness if you want to put it. UGLY. Extreme ugliness done by the lecturers.

It’s not like the 1 in the 4 is a slacker or what. He/She did her work, made her contribution to ASc before. He/She did the things as were instructed. How ugly can politics be even demonstrated in school? Ugly lecturers. Ugly CF.

There’s a story, this is how it goes…

A: “Hey, why you don’t want to run.”
B: “Why should I? Look at the other runners and the person who is going to press the horn.”

A stunned; turning into stunner. B continues…

B: “Fuck up KELONG horny horners.”
A: “Why?” (Disbelief)

B: “If I start a little earlier, he would say I foul. But if the others start a little earlier, they would definitely run ahead of me. Some of the spectators out there should come down the track and run. They have more stamina which you’ll never know and never discover. This is because Fuck up KELONG horny horners, don’t like spectators.”

A: “But, why did you say Fuck up KELONG horny horners, don’t like spectators???”

B: “Only runners are interested in the sport. However for spectators, no matter how many time he horns, they never run and never move.”

Moral of the story: Fuck up KELONG horny horners’ horn irritates the spectators.

Hence, they’ll never want to be on the track. They’ll never want to be controlled. The horn had made the spectators lose interest. It's not the person, but the act itself.

Bad metaphor isn’t it? I crapped it up. Read between the lines, use your reading skills.

I once said, a leader is never nor considered a good leader if he shows biasness nor favoritism regardless of how much you can lead. He gives everyone the opportunity to perform and rectify the problem if his comrades fail to perform. More often than not, the problem lies with him/her - the leader.

Catfish, got it? It goes the same for lecturers.

It’s the failure to lead in proper. Something has brewed in the tea; the tea leaves. Then, the tea is drinkable. Some leaves separates from the other leaves when the drinker starts pouring. You broke the club with your actions and “take it for granted” attitude.

You have the brain. But when brain comes without a heart, the brain becomes much useless after all.

I miss those inspiring teachers in secondary school. Thanks lots to my NCOs, I learnt a lot.

Many things are bothering me; politics. Not in Singapore but ASc. I'm still considering. Many external factors are obstructing my way. To go for? Or don't? Perhaps, I've to wait for the outcome of interest for my Canoe Polo.

Past few nights, talked to RP. I miss NCC indeed. Back to Week 0, I was narrating to RP how I would have done, if I've still got my RANK and POST. It was the attitude freshman that SHA referred me to.

Back during school days, my Officers has no worries for disciplinary or AP students. I had always handled them. Scold? Yes, I did. I even shouted right at their face. Of course, this doesn’t help. I've always played devil-angel. I'll counsel them for their mistake. However, as LT head in a polytechnic; things are beyond my reach. For, people will hate me. Hence, I refer AP students to lecturers.

I decided not to sign on as CLT is partly because I would like to expose myself to other forms of leadership. I did. I learned a lot of interpersonal skills after O levels. However, I’ve learned that as a leader, you can’t expect everyone to like you. But, you need the majority to like you. Otherwise, the problem lies with you.

I’ve always got some things to say. However, sometimes I’m too tired to blog. Just like Saturday night, I’ve plenty to blog. Then now, I’ve forgotten what I want to say.

All right. A new week is starting again. I’m going to be shag by the days. God bless me. Good night.

All right. Due to popular demand, (true or not i don't know) my blog will be back to life soon. Cheers! Await for my updates!

I've been too lazy to blog. Hence for the time being, please enjoy my GC journal.

PRE– TRIP JOURNAL

10 December 2005, Saturday
It was the first global citizenship briefing. It was uncertainty which I experienced. I received an email a few days ago and was told to be in the reserves. I’ve never taken a flight before. I hope this would be an opportunity for me to see the world out of Singapore.

One of my friends didn’t attend the briefing as he thought that the chances for him to get in the subject would be low. However, I think that if you want something and go all out, you’ll get what you want eventually.

Beautiful pictures were shown in the briefing. The world is big out there but I’ve yet to seen any. A shanghainese woman was invited to provide us with more information and lifestyle of Shanghai – interesting. I guess many who attended the briefing had fun pronouncing some of the shanghainese phrases.

I’ve also realized from what I’ve learnt in sociology, I was able to apply this concept - cultures and values are embedded in our language. Without language, it wouldn’t create the environment you are living in, and the values you’re taught ever since you’re born. Then, it’s where you’re born that’s important. Environment and people shaped our life.

There’s still hope though. I hope I’ll be able to go Shanghai.

7 March 2006, Monday
It was the first day of global citizenship lesson. I’ve got into the class of TV01. Ms Marie had lots of proverbs which sets me to think deeper. There’s so many citizenship that I’ve come to realize, global; student, employer, employee and tourist. They come under one big umbrella - citizenship.

Globalization is the compression and intensification of the consequences of the world as a whole.

The world has become smaller each day with the rapid growth of technologies. Good or bad? Perhaps I would prefer the world to continue to be in its primitive state. Why? Good phrase to quote, “When the world is big, we think small. But as it gets smaller, we think big.”

There are so many problems in the world now. Environment verses Human, Human verses Human. For the recent years, many things had happened. It started out with mouth and food disease, SARS, Bird Flu; evolving from one stage to another, Tsunami and etc. And we human tried our best to overcome them and restore them to what it was in their original state. Coming to human verses human; terrorism around the globe and genocides happening in other countries.

Is it a hint that we should restore Earth to what it was supposed to be?

Human life has improved over the centuries due to the wonderful brains we had. At the same time, it has brought us various consequences. In many ways we had benefited (an easier life). However, from what we have done and received over the years, was it human’s retribution?

Maybe if we’ve learnt to be more self-contented rather than trying to pursue knowledge and understand why, the Earth would be able to survive longer, humans would be happier and live longer. However, pros and cons emerged as we get more and more educated. Imagine, I wouldn’t be typing this entry. Back to primitive, I may be learning how to hunt now.

7 March 2006, Tuesday
Today’s presentation was impressively done by my classmates. I could have done better, but maybe I’ve yet use to the people in my class. There was lots of “arguments” in defending individual perceptions.

Though I have my point of view, I wasn’t spontaneous enough. While the arguments were going on, thoughts are running in my mind, analyzing others perception. I wasn’t confident enough in a new group of people to speak up.

Our thoughts, is it regarded as perception or deception? What is right and wrong? If murdering and taking one’s life is wrong, it’s because we have the mind to judge. What about taking the life of an animal? Do we have the mind to judge? Yes. But because an animal doesn’t have a mind to judge, humans aren’t blame.

Right and wrong isn’t defined. If there’s a day whereby we’ve to be cannibals, I guess many will be; in the mental state of desperate survival. If you say you wouldn’t, you’ll be killed. Naturally, you’ll sleep well and sleep forever. There’ll be neither have fear nor guilt.

True enough, human tries to maximize profit over all values. Due to environmental and social problems, we can be extremely selfish.

“World federation is an ideal that will not die. More and more people are coming to realize that peace must be more than interlude if we are to survive; that people is a produce of law and order; that law is essential if the force arms do not rule the world.” -William O. Douglas, US Supreme Court Justice

To simplify this proverb – the world is perfect, peace is important if we want to survive; hence if we can produce law and order, peace should be made without resorting to violence.

It then leads to peace lying in the mindset of man. We chose our path in life; we’re responsible for what we’ve chosen. Selfishness leads to anger and frustration and then leading to war. It starts off as initial state of selfishness, to the process of anger; war had already started in the process before actions actually took place.
Therefore, for this proverb, “The primacy of profit maximization over all other values is the core of environmental and social problems.” I do only agree partly.

I do not agree that environmental and social problems are the core that we go against our values. Rather the core problem lies in us. As what I’ve learnt recently, the “moral compass”. We can choose to go against or not to.

Tired… Tired from school and projects. Had an argument with SH and WL due to project meeting. SH argued for WL.

To get you prepared and clear your school work these few days and come to meet on Sunday means a lot to her. I understand. Can you tell me a reason for me to accept? Spend time with family. I quitted DB to do so. However, I burnt it for projects.

Just a week and it’s that difficult? After ALP on Saturday, I bet many do not want to do any work. A Sunday can mean a lot to you, so does it to the others.

I understand you have activity but tell me what is it that you should be allowed to be excuse.

“You do not need to go to such an extent. What’s the big deal?” What a statement. The deal is not very big. It’s all for the sake of the group - to be more mentally prepared and rather being “gan chiong”.

TR calls for meeting on Sunday. His group members grumble. He so called argued with G too. Why not SH argue for G?

In the end, he ends up preparing his presentation at 02 00 to 02 30 hours.

Recalling the scene, I do not like it at all. Why do you have to argue in such a way whereby I’m trying to explain it?

I do not want perfection. I seek perfection to improve, not to be perfect. It pushes you up higher than the others. Though it’s not perfect, we can see the work produced is better. Though it’s comparative, it just the matter on how you go about treating it.

Presentation is not about individual. It’s the ability of your group to impress others. Naturally, all the group members will score. Organization’s objective above one’s self. My objective is to do well as a whole. The satisfaction is better.

Why can’t people understand? I’m someone who makes decision. I chose what’s best to what I can think of. At the same time, I’m free for ideas. Convince me, do not just keep quiet. Or rather, discuss it to make it better.

If everyone does not give slip short or half past six work, it would make life of the collaborator easier. Still I’m looking for a better template.

Working in a group, does not mean when you come for meeting, you’re co-operating. I’ve realize the definition of co-operation. It’s to give in your best to the organization (no slip short work) and take the initiative to ask if the other need help or to do something for others.

All these goes with you till you’re at work or no matter where you go. Perfectionist is needed in a group to produce better work; it also pushes to group as a whole to go further. Am I such a difficult person to work with?

In the end, she can’t make still though I’ve compromised to her needs. Tomorrow morning. Reason: My BF isn’t that happy. I accepted.

I don’t trust school’s computer, it is I do not want to do it in school. The internet is slow too. Want to have a trial of the presentation and practice it as a team also kind of inconvenient.

I’ve done my best.