Here's a great song with great lyrics to share. I think it seriously expressed my feelings totally. Perhaps 90% of it. It's quite a old song though. I'm slow, I know. Here it is...

Artist: Blue October
Album: Foiled
Title: Into The Ocean

I'm just a normal boy
That sank when I fell overboard
My ship would leave the country
But I'd rather swim ashore
Without a life that's sadly stuck again
Wish I was much more masculine
Maybe then I could learn to swim
Like 'fourteen miles away'

You're floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I'm sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be
be

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down

Where is the coastguard
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine
The jets, I'm sunk, I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life believe me
(How can I keep up this breathing)

Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space


I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down

Now waking to the sun
I calculate what I had done
Like jumping from the bow (yeah)
Just to prove I knew how (yeah)
It's midnight's late reminder of
The loss of her, the one I love
My will to quickly end it all
So thought no end my need to fall

Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
into the ocean...end it all

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(In to space)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(I thought of just your face)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Kuku Bird Day

Today is my birthday. I call it “kuku bird day” for the first time. I think this is the saddest birthday I ever had. It’s all spent at CPTC, isn’t it kuku? Anyway, thanks to my classmates, friends for the little surprise they gave for me. Though things were rush, but it couldn’t be help. So… how was it spent? After CPTC training, Dearest came to pick me up. I suppose she would be eating late dinner with me, but she has eaten. Again, we went to Bedok 18 and eat my fishball meepok. It’s 1st time spending my day at coffee shop though. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter; it’s always the person you spend with. Anyway, tomorrow would also be my day! It’s my Chinese birthday. In Chinese, I’m 20 years old. Woot. Within a day, I’m 19… and 20 the next. Haha…

Thanks for the wishes. I appreciate that. I was shock that other course mates also wished me. Thanks thanks. I think I’m darn DAO lah? I guess always people have been waiting for me to say perhaps hi/signal to greet, but I always don’t. Rather, I smile. If they’ve seen it, I’ve greeted. To me is smile; to them, I don’t know if they think that is so? I just feel so PS later when perhaps or what if that person acted like doesn’t know you? But but… I think I’ve made several people PS several times too.

19 years of my life… Hmmm… How great? I treasure the time spend with anyone I suppose; especially my love ones? Every obstacle that comes by doesn’t pull me down… Even if so… I wouldn’t allow the Earth to continue spinning w/o me moving. Once fall, rub yourself for a moment and move on further! “Life isn’t hard… Sometimes it’s just ain’t so fair…” quoted from KT. I’ve been keeping all these thoughts on mind… Life would be better ahead…

Aiks… What are friends and what are brothers? Some brothers might no longer be my brothers over time… Some friends have perhaps forgotten me… These are only friends I’ve left… So… they would just be passer-bys in life? I hope not. I do treasure and that don’t treat me for granted.

Dearest is still the one, always by my side… 4 years… I do cherish you all right? All the obstacles that we’ve came by, they ain’t easy. Lots of love…

So much random/sad/lame thoughts on the birth of my day…

Yup. It’s weekend again. Here I am after reading R’s blog… So guilty again… Luckily I did a close observation after Suhua knows the secret and gave a serious response. Subsequently was some discuss made with Liang. There comes the Man w/o Faith in R’s blog…

Faith is a trust. Something, someone, virtually or realistically we can give to. Sadly R is single; then he doesn’t have any GF to turn to lah. But I guess he will find his Mrs. Right one day. Right Rubin? Your.. Humph.. who u tried to sabotage me… Zzz… I remember times when Me and currently Charsiew Pig (Dearest got sun burnt), had to sort out these differences in religion. She (was) a Christian baptized, and I was just a kid who’s not really either Buddhist or Taoist (caught in between the 2) and due to confusions, the word free-thinker comes in. Then, I’m caught in between these 3 species. Thereafter, I tried/ still trying to understand Christianity and why certain people are sooo... pray daily? every meal? and once they feel depressed/sad etc. Then, I question myself; why don’t I do that?

For me, i always believe that obstacles are meant to be met and meant to be ourcome by ourselves. This is then, we're stronger. When i find my life is tough; walking/cycling through rains/ scorching sun on my way home soaked in rain/sweat and with heavy stuff to lobang. Why I say it's tough? I look upon those kids in their parents car, fetching them. They don't need to experience all these... Yet... I have to... My family isn't that rich but I've never look down on it, rather I'm proud to have such a loving family. I ain't consoling myself. It's because everyone is willing to play a part. My dad don't own a car. Yet, we can always walk together in family of 5. Simple walk; from downtown east to my house, from orchard all the way to Plaza Singapura through all shapping malls and later take MRT up again to Novena just to find a pair of shoe I want. Yet, the 4 family members didn't complain a single thing. How many Dads/ Mums will do that? I always tell myself that god is fair and that my future will be better. It's either you get these or these.

All right. Every religion does pray everyday. A monk recite sutras daily, a priest/pastors etc all do. But the word believers/followers come in. Different people, different individual have a different degree of faith towards their god. That was the conclusion. Perhaps I wasn’t a full-time follower and hence I ain’t doing these. I do believe that every religion has its truth. Tell you frankly, I pray to all. I believe that god(s) can understand and that they wouldn’t have qualms/ quarrels within themselves? They are god so I guess nobility is their forte. The world is just too complicated as each individuals have different characteristics. To make a total sense of religions and link them up is a mission impossible.

Anyway, they are just some thoughts. Back to do some work… What an abrupt Ending to my entry...

Life is as boring and tired as usual. Today was Dad’s birthday. I simply just got home and had my later dinner and as what we always do, a simple cake blow and that is birthday to my family. No prezzie or anything. Mine is next week, like 6 more days? I would be 19 then.

Time flies. I remember few months back I was celebrating X’mas, Darling’s birthday, CNY, Post-exams… Then… BOOM! 19? No please? I prefer the number 18? Very soon, I’ll be entering army. J just went in recently. Hope that he’s doing fine? Time fly faster and faster as you grow older w/o knowing. I remember when I was young; when I still know nuts about calendars, I always feel that 1 year is faster, and then the next year would be slower. But I guess that’s not the case now. Moreover, Wednesday would be my Mid-Term test at CPTC too. Zzz. Shagged man. Still blur here and there sometimes. Hope I could do reasonably well? I hope…

Continuing from what I’ve learnt in practical the 2 days…

Wednesday, 18 April 2007

We started the compressor in the plant air to start the pigging system. I simply hated that house. So humid. Steps for commissioning and decommissioning of compressor are complicated. However, commissioning of compressor is essential for various operation of the plant. After we have tried to decommission the compressor, we tried commissioning the compressor. There were some problems we face. Example, the no. 2 compressor kicks in due to ES100 (Electronikon) being offline. Then, our instructor; Mr Henry turned it on and allow the controller to take over and re-integrate no.2 (slave). Here, I hope that the meaning of integrate from which I understood was; example, when PV of no.1 (master) falls below the set-point, no.2 which is integrated into the system, kicks in automatically to aid the system to meet the set-point.

After the compressor has been started, we moved on to the pigging system. The purpose of this system is to clean or for internal inspection of pipeline. It was interesting to launch the pigging system. However, in the amidst of fun, the PIG was perhaps not place properly or insufficient pressure which resulted in the Solid Cast PIG stuck in between a bigger and smaller pipeline. It was initially a little slanted and I guess with many people trying to pull and adjust, it got to a more proper position. Then, suggestion of increasing the system pressure was made to troubleshoot this situation. Luckily it wasn’t objected by our trainer as he gave the opportunity to try when it’s possible (otherwise, dismantling of pipe would be needed).

Thursday, 19 April 2007.

It was on the operation of flare. The practical had enhanced what had been gone through in lecture. Most of the safeguarding system has been mentioned in lecture. However, today at the DCS, another safeguarding system was emphasized by one of the trainer; 10-UZ900. It was also one of the safeguarding systems. Assay in a case of flashback, overpressure of pipeline on the other side (leading to flare), 10-UZ900 could prevent the nitrogen tank from contamination through controlling of valve 10-UZ901. The purpose of resetting UZ900 was also to… ask ask Henry again… still got thermosiphon effect to blog about… to be continue…

Sianzation… Can you feel it? It’s hard to get back on track with lectures and study of Chemical Engineering. Lucky this time is 3.1 with training @ CPTC, SIP and MP. Imagine it’s going to be books and projects again! I think I will just die… Recently too, my life became so happening! I do not wish to talk about it as this entry of mine isn’t for that. Read R’s blog will do.

Anyway, I need to blog to keep track my reflection “What I’ve learnt this week for Practicals only”.

Monday, my groups had climbed C-100 and C-101. C-100 is estimated to be about 10 storey (35m) high. It was anxiety and excitement experienced. Luckily enough, my ankle was sort of not so pain, I’ve been anticipating about climbing the tower since the first day we had practical. This activity was like a treasure hunt where we have to hunt for and identify the tags on the temperature and pressure gauges, sampling point and etc.

Through this activity, it has allowed me to have a clearer view of the distillation column and its operations. Thereafter, it was easy for me to draw my PFD diagram too. Though for the past 1 week, we had been doing line tracing in different part of the plant, I feel that it was essential for us to know the operations better.

Tuesday, it was Cooling Water system, Deluge Valve and N2 system. Through the practical, my trainer has taught us to change Float system to Bubbler System and vice versa. It was complicated again. There were many valves and different parts we’ve to monitor and turn. Hence, when debriefing was done, I could have a clearer picture of each procedure and it purposes.

Example, we have to ensure that the Cooling Water System is on before the start up of plant, follow by instrument Air. The purpose of having a float and bubbler system is simple. Basically, float system is always use in CPTC for power saving as it does not activate and make use of the compressor. However, the disadvantage is that it needs frequent patrolling so as to ensure that there is no overflow in the basin. Where else, bubbler system needs the activation of the compressor and hence, a swing by-pass is needed for instrument air to activate the compressor and the bubbler level transmitter to be send to controller. This process of system change would almost be completed by changing 10-PCV-502 to automation and later throttled the side valve to 3.04barg to meet set-point controlled in the DCS unit.

For deluged system, there are 3 ways to activate it. Basically, burn it, activate the emergency button located in the plant and activating it from the DCS. For N2 system, I’ve also learn the operations.

Alright. Enough. To be continue… just don’t wish to forget some facts learnt…

So again, I went to MOS yesterday. This time, with Dearest and her friend ST, R and S. The 5 of us. Weird combination initally though, however we had quite some fun bouncing! LOL. So, S drunk and was high. Thanks for trusting me again. It was suppose to get you loosen up, destress. Allah, it's my fault.

Wahaha. So, R was abit stiff till he gets into the mood? LOL. S was crazily strumming his air-guitar and drumming his air-drums. We were on steps, so perhaps he had felt that he was having his very own ROCK concert? LOL. But I'm glad that he gave it all out? Loosen up and let it out? Even dearest said so too. Initially, ST was saying that I was bad. LOL But, whatever it is, I know what I should do and should not. I'm not making him drunk nor intend to do so. Just get loosen up, bounce, dance, party and... Feel the BEAT! He was seriouly crazy doing all his acts lah? Which I think many of our class people will never get to see what he did. Every strums and drums he made was with the beat you see. Especially the strumming part, he was cool with it man. I think he should go learn rock guitar or something.

I feel.. every pound coming out from the speaker... Enjoying every single beat of it. Giving myself all out!

I guess all of us enjoyed. I felt bad for leaving ST to go home alone? She was great? But perhaps kinda sian sian also? Maybe cause she didn't drink much and that's why. Still, she listened to her BF I guess. After that, we took a cab and thong at *. Ruben was cool; he did not go home at all and Dearest and I sent him to school for his DRP. Woot.

After that, I went home and had a long sleep again. Perhaps for more on what we did, you can visit R's blog @ http://www.blog.platodino.com/. Something interesting also happened. About $ part. Perhaps R will blog that. I'm lazy to do so. Zzz.

And so... Dearest is going there next week with her class again. Hope she listens to me too! Hope to go else where the next time. St James or Zouk perhaps. If a big group go would be even better? I see group of peeps occupying the so called "small stage" and bouncing crazily!

I'll be bouncing at CPTC next week onwards. Zzz. Shucks.

Things changed and everything changes. The feeling of this so called “buddy” also becomes different. I knew the verdict though I told PS 80% chance. But still there might be a chance for time to reveal certain things? Perhaps.

Trust is lost in friendship and hence it goes over to love. Perception to change; but there is a need for reasons to do so. Then, it’ll all be deceptions.

Here I am; a director watching and directing this movie. However, I failed to see my own ending and left it in suspense. Whatever it was, it was the friendship. The lady has nothing to do with me. I never regret what I did. I would have still done the same things.

What a careful use of my tenses here. I sort of feel an ache in my heart.

All the best dude.

For past moments, I’ve seen how complicated things are. Perhaps not for the situations, but the characters. I feared that things might turn sour between love and between friendship/ brother-hood.

As expected...

The word betrayal will come in, sooner or later. Papers can’t wrap up fire. I knew you couldn’t take it. I’m too frank? I don’t want to lie nor hide from you. There are reasons and situations which lead to these. I’m cool with it if you mentioned “trusted”; once and never again. I was mentally prepared for these to know more, to advise you better?

Don’t numb yourself with panadols. No one can save you but yourself. No point thinking. Perhaps conclusion is here to come. I did all I could.

I felt your hatred, confusion, saddness, pain and hurt, betrayed. I believe this friendships of ours will be stronger.

I’m out of the picture now waiting for verdict.

And now, dearest is PMS-sing. zzZ.

Man, the 3 days 2 night was fast. Very fast. It felt like a dream when actually you’re lacking of sleep. Zzz.

So Day 1 was quite good time spent? Dinner was like a family? Less hassles and washing. Cost saving too as S had treated us this dinner. Thanks buddy. So sad that A wasn’t around lah… What BRO wedding… Zzz… PS us lor…

Went night cycling at the start like 1am? And thanks K for company back to get my bike. It was not easy ‘lobang’ K with those flimsy bikes and with tyres not enough air. I was so easy shagged. K tried to ‘lobang’ me sia… but it was scary.. almost going to get hit by on-coming van! Zzz. Back, it was long wait here and there as few of us got wet by R and M. It was seriously sticky and hence I guess that was why some of us was crazy and just jump into the pool. And R seems like a all time drunk guy? LOL.

So it was night cycling. It was my first time cycling to Changi Village though. So I check out road sign and etc. It was all the way straight… but there are several uphill to overcome… Ladies got injured and so I kind of felt wasted when we had traveled so far. At that moment I was confused by the road sign, Naval Air Base? So I supposed we went the wrong way... so since the ladies are injured… we cycled back… so double check the sign again, I was right though. So after much discussion, S and K sent the girls back and R and I had a long slacking time at the bus stop.

After much waiting, they were back with F and another S. Both punctured after meeting us. Zzz. They were way back behind though. S was good man. He was able to take the pain of cycling. Impressive. So the 2 punctured cycled back. 4 survivors left. Went all the way straight and there we are… Changi Village… The ladies were just probably 2.5km more to Changi V from the place of accident occurred. Felt wasted for them though. Partly was my fault I guess; should have said to carry on rather than by saying head back!

Had wanton noodles while R had his duck noodles. The chilli was nice. So overall the wanton noodle is nice. Then, I had my Teh Susu while the rest had their ice milo. So we cycled back and K suggested to change bike with me. So I had the small bike which PS rented. The 4 of us were like the wild hogs lah… LOL… R had seriously enjoyed the cycling too! But he sweat way too much than I did. Zzz.

2nd day was Sentosa. So it wasn’t so fun but more like we enjoy each other’s crapping and rain and etc. Sentosa now don’t have kayaks and many volleyball court! So NO Sentosa till further notice man. Surprisingly, there wasn’t much people there unlike during poly-holis where u can see many klike TP students have hang outs there. Again, R was drunk in the amidst of our fun. He has his so called ‘Singapore Island Tea’ = Sentosa Island Tea. And A who just joined us went to pick some guys up and gayed with them and we got free volleyball to play with. He was perhaps attractive to those guys? LOL.

Dinner was at food republic and dessert was at Ben’s and Jerry. Dinner was filling and mine and A was the most worth it. Haha. Along way back to chalet was a long bus ride. It was fun I guess? All of us got a good rest too. It was sooo COLD in the bus. SC was like all the way sleep with his head bend. No wonder he’s getting his body bend…So went back and played the BurntOut car game. It was cool! I like it. Me and K manage to unlock a few more cars. And I think I’m PRO in the Sunshine Key map liaoz. With CPU was even more fun! Must have skills to take them down; got first place a few times with that map too. Other map I’m suck at it. The other map roads were dark and badly lit. Can’t really see. Zzz.

In the room on the last night, A and I got the bed all to ourselves. I guess PS and H too yea? LOL. There were 2 missing person through the night...

Last day was pack up and go. I was too tired to cycle by then so didn’t join the rest for breakfast. But back at home I had donuts from the Donuts Factory. My mum queued for 2 hours plus just to get 1 box of it. It was nice. No wonder she said there are so many queuing for it…

Slept all the way till 3pm and I had my lunch? And back to sleep till 5 plus. Dearest called and I went to her godma’s house for dinner. Went to the airport to drink my Teh Susu again at Kopitiam at T1 and it is like Ya Kun kind.

Slack and chat at T1 till 12.30am, reacted the day she left me for Japan for her to see. LOL. Then she drove me home and chat in the car for sometime. Reached home like 1.15am Doze off and Zzz…

Finally received my darling's call. So touched. Great warmth received I suppose. I couldn't help but to start shedding tears. It's like for 7 days, 3 messages only and no voice calls completely you see. emo guy? But I just couldn't help it. I tried to control you see. I miss her lots. Coming back in another 3 days... Seems like a 3 years and 8 days...

Argh... Still crying now though. ='(

Hurry come back my dear. Miss you every secs.

Had my e-trial test again today early morning. Woke up at 6.45am and I was so dead. Zzz. Thinking about my plans was to go gym after my e-trial, is like... Zzz. I'm forcing myself to go Gym you see. I has been a week plus since the last time I went. Don't go and your muscles will just sag.

So I wasn't late this time. E-trial test continue after I got logged out that time. FAILED! * questions got wrong bah. Zzz. Carry on doing the next 2 and again was just pass. Those which I'm unsure, I got wrong. Why? Purposely put an answer which I feel is less correct than the correct answer. Then, I'll learn mah. So, after taking each test, I'll just scheme through the wrong ones in less than 2 mins?

So met up G for gym. He became so fair now. Zzz. Less tone too. So he was like cpmpany me most of the time? Ask him do, he like can't concentrate. Perhaps it was due to his "abit sick". So S bastarded me last minute for lunch which was pre-planned. Suppose G was going home (I asked him to join me for lunch, but he said he was anti-social), so I was going to bastard him since he says he's going to finish some of this stuff and internet shopping.

So S again, bastarded me last minute. Research and research... Not sian ah? Zzz. Shag man I guess?

So, had lunch with G and planned to go sun tant. Sun played with us. So... I feel bastard again. It shine a moment and doesn't shine the next. Cloudy day.

So, G and I decided to go home. He do his stuff and for me, I got a great sleep. 3 plus till 6 plus. It just show how tired I am. Zzz. Luckily, I wasn't trekking today with the Dr. Ong. zzZ.

Great weather today. 4 more days and she'll be back. I'm counting down still. I wonder what happens if she's goanna leave me fore overseas study... Sia lah... then should I also follow? Nah, I wanna go SMU for business. Anticipating it. Left 2 semster, abit more to hit gPA of 3 liao. Wasted my first year in TP in joining DB and Asc. That period, I could have focus better and get better grades. From the past 2 semster, less commitments towards school and my gPA is increasing. 2.9 is my next target. Possible? Hopefully.

Japan reception is bad man. I guess she can't really send me SMS. I tried calling her, but can't get through. Saddening.

Alright. FT test tomorrow. Got to be careful of tricks. Another long day. Got to go Venture Era to learn certain health products. If it's goanna be sucessful, I'm goana get my own car as early as 26/27? Anyone interested? Haha. I guess you guys would say, irritating sales promoter. But but.. give me a opportunity to at least present ah? There had been really sucessful sales personnels who drive BMW at very young age. Zzz.

Good Night myself.

Yesterday went TM with S to get his shoes and spects. Someone was on a spending spree you see. So, he treated me movie “The Messengers” which initially I was quite reluctant. However, since we’ve got nothing to do and I didn’t feel like going home, so yea. S also paid for the cab to send me home. Initially, I was serious in walking home as I don’t know why… I just don’t wish to go home? So, S was my date for the day. Sweet huh? Ok lah, so I owe him a treat.

Perhaps… this coming new week? When I get my tuition fees, I’ll be not so broke. Missing lessons here and there, money is running in slow nowadays. Unlike previously, I can get about $400 plus from tuition for a total of 24 hrs of teaching per month… and an additional of parents allowance… introduce me some students anyone? I’m in need of CASH. Zzz.

Bored. I miss her. Zzz. Had my e-trial test today and I pass it on first trial without really studying for it? It was just passed though. LOL. Didn’t have time to try the 2nd test due to the lack of time as I was late you see. For 2nd test, I did 48/50, and then the program logged me out.

Anyway, after that I went to Espirit @ Parkway to check clothes out as I’ve got the last $8 voucher with me. Wanted to pass it to S though, but he’s busy. So yea, my budget this time was $29.90 but none of them attracted me… partly… I didn’t have mood to even try them u see… When she isn’t around, that’s me. The others were either expensive, not worth or not nice. Partly, I’m quite broke recently too. Zzz. There is orangey-red shirt which is like... zzZ… the colour was disgusting la?

After that, I went to buy chocolate-durian ice-cream at scoopz which we always had when we were there. Then a slow walk to talk No.12 opp Roxy Square. Dozed off in the bus after that.

Alright, 6 more days. Hurry come back my dear. We’ll go roller-blade!

Alright. Dearest has left me for Japan for a 10 days vacation. I’m definitely goanna miss her. Anyway, on Thursday we spent our last day at the Zoo and after that was dinner at Chomp Chomp. I planned the events, she planned the route and I directed her. Dinner was great. It’s definitely better having dinner at Lagoon. There’s no long queue and no self-service. Just order and food will be served for you. I guess it’ll be the place where we’ll be feasting more frequent next time.

While having BBQ chicken wings, I was thinking if S brother was goanna be with me, he can’t enjoy the food BBQ chicken wings which is very nice. But anyway, if we would be going out to eat next time, don’t be conscious and DON’T ASK lah… Just take it as MINE sin will do. I think I can help you seek forgiveness from Allah after I… *Touch-wood*. Perhaps he would tell me, it isn’t my fault. Some people add in extra pepper and salt to what I said. No offence though. I respect other religions.

But… S… don’t ask! As long as I don’t feed you curry with aaa… PORK can liao lah..!

Sometimes religion is such a constraint which forbids you to enjoy wonderful food here. I’m sort of half Buddhist, but I still take beef sometimes. Anyway, from what I learnt in GC, people in china take beef and they are Buddhist. Anyway, religions in Singapore definitely have add-ons; otherwise Singapore wouldn’t enjoy the racial and religion harmony.

On the way home, we had some tiff in the car. However, we still ended up on the verge of tears when we bided goodbye. Ok lah, I admit I was in tears and she was on verge can? But she admited she cried on the way home… Act strong in front of me loh… Perhaps, the day was very well spent you see. It was wonderful times and walks spent in the Zoo. It’s like trekking. I love trekking. However, overseas trekking would be much better. Anyway, during the late afternoon it was raining and we still tried carry on walking under our small umbrella! it's was enjoyable.

Before anything, I would like to mention that S brother n R pal bastarded me yesterday. I was so lonely lah… you baskets…

Here are the photos @ Zoo:

Photographer: Alex Lee ... Artist: Sun Wukong?

Photographer: Alex Lee/ Diana Chew ... Artist: Greedy Squirrel

Photopgrapher: Diana Chew ... Artisit: Komodoo Dragon (Nice Shot done!)

Photographer: Alex Lee ... Artist: Animal Poster (He's definietly posting for me)

Best Photography Award: Alex Lee ... Artist: Fluorescent Scorpion

This is a special scorpion which lights out, it glows you see.

Actual Picture of him is...

Observe the RED bulb man... it can open one RED Light District le lah..

Last but not least... Another award for our Catfish in TP... Here's the plaque:

No more catfish. It's flying frog. Come to think of it, he looks like one bah?

I did not found this. Dearest did. Opps. Thanks R for his Publicity too.

For more information on Catfish: http://www.blog.platodino.com/

HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY READING MY BLOG. FIRST TIME POSTING PHOTOS!

Byebye...

so I've found the correct spelling. It's Tequila Shot.

Found some ways to drink it. Lick, Dunk and Suck. So, you lick the salt, dunk the shot in and suck the lemon.

Anyway, as Dearest mentioned, I was pick up by an eurasian guy at Mac behind Novotel Hotel. NR was wanting to buy a drink so we were there.

Eurasian Guy, E (starting line): Hey boy (me) and girl (D). (I suppose he was going to pick D up)

Facing me.

E (Pick Up line): Have I seen you before?

E (mumbling as he was drunk): You look angry. Are you angry?

Me: Huh?

E (mumbling again): Are you angry? You look angry.

Me: Huh?

We: we got to go. Bye. (NR finished buying his drinks)

Safe. Phew... He's seriously drunk. No paedophile/bisexual please. I'm straight and not turn on by guys! Gross...

So many things to be said and share! How’s my life these days? Fun, enjoyable.

These mornings I’ve been busy with my driving. Zzz. Really so call “chiong” my driving lessons… Hopefully I could get my test date on June 13. Anyway, should have complete my FT earlier. But it’s ok, I don’t have a car. Not a rush.

Movie Review
Pursuit of Happyness is a good movie. It’s inspiring. I would rate it 4/5. I wonder if there is any book on it, I would seriously like to read it. The phrases used are motivating. It’s just like Tuesdays with Morrie. However, Tuesdays with Morrie is definitely better. It covers the wider scope of life. For , the inspiration lies on the motivation to move on with life when it’s really and actually very difficult to move on.

Will smith is good and so is his son. There is a connection in the show. To think about his life, I would probably in a depressed state. With wife leaving you, you’ve got to take care of your son, make food for him, and entertain the tenant who couldn’t understand you (because he needs the money too); so you paint the house and get into trouble with the police for forgetting to pay parking fees. Then, you’ve a thick bible to read and study to be a stock broker.

If you notice, no matter how hard life is, he still carry himself with pride and backbone. Anyway, to read a book would allow me to have a more in depth literate analysis.

For 300, it’s a good show. It’s more of war, pride, glory and fame. The Spartans’ battle skills are impressive. However, you can see that you’ve got to stay humble and conscious at all times; and not smile. Otherwise, your head would get chop down by enemy unnoticeably.

So, yesterday was D’s sister and cousin birthday. I didn’t brought any presents. But I wished him “Happy Birthday”. Money is going to be passed to D to buy presents in Japan when her whole family goes overseas.

Anyway, dinner was at Yan’s Palace. Near Chinatown? I think so. Food was good. Every dish was reasonably well cooked. I would rate 3.5/5. D’s parents booked 2 tables in a Kara Room. So dinner was again with sing songs, with oldies and young songs mixed. I guess it cost like 800 bucks for that dinner? Food were too much that from the No. 6 – No.9 dish onwards have to be packed home. No. 10 is the desert, mango pudding with the milky thing which I forgot what it’s called. Zzz.

Then, as they said the night is still “young” which to be is quite old because I sleep usually that time, I lost my virginity.

Not incest please. I’m just no longer a virgin clubber. Zzz.


So, it was my first time going clubbing at MOS. D’s godfather paid for the 8 of us. It cost like $28+++ for male and probably $25+++ for females? I don’t feel good about it as I planned to pay for myself. As the previous day, they treated me to Japanese Buffet at Miramar Hotel and it’s like $30+++. I was reluctant as it’s like the family always treat you see. As for my family, there isn’t so much of food at restaurants. It’s usually food cooked at home. Hence, most of the time what I could do was to call her to my house for dinner.

Anyway, at MOS…

Hot Chicks.
Short/ superb short skirts.
Long Leg with heels (HOT).
Caucasians.
Singaporeans.
Prostitutes? LOL.
Heart pounding musics.

Anyway, it’s my first time there. The music is super loud which I for those who had never been before can’t imagine. At the dance floor, the music seems to penetrate your heart and your already pumping heart seems to be vibrating and pumping at the same time. Hence, I avoided the dance floor and shake my ass at the sides. Assay you sleep on the dance floor, I think the next morning you couldn’t wake up and would have a very good sleep. By then, you’re deaf as you exceeded the exposure limit! (adapted from OSH). Haha.

Anyway, short skirts, long legs and heels turn me on. Don’t say I’m pervert lah, which guys doesn’t look? But usually they are taken. LOL. But there is a girl dancing at the R&B side, dancing her “S” move and with hands on her long hair. You can imagine how hot it was. And I think NL who’s in his thirties was like keep looking lah?

For me, I wasn’t so obvious, I just make glances. If D wasn’t there, I would have dance by her side already lor… Anyway, I think after a while she left for somewhere. She walked passed me and I think she sort of purposely brushed my shoulders. My shaking body with hands NOT shaking at that moment, brushed passed her upper tight lah! It wasn’t meant to be man. Her skirt was short and she didn’t choose to keep left which was like got space I suppose? It is lane discipline… Anyway, when she was back, I did feel her eyes looking at me and sometimes NL though it was dark. LOL.

Anyway, clubbing is not worth to do so every time. It’s a waste of money. However, it’s a good place to meet up with long time no see friends and to chill out if you’re bored. I had cranberry vodka and stakoila shot? (spelling error?). It like little salt round a very small cup with liquor; you’ve to drink at 1 shot and later bite the lemon. It was “shiok” ah… I had 2 of it and I wasn’t high or drunk. More of like sleepy? LOL. They suppose I was, but I could still play chop sticks with D and win lehz.

NR’s girlfriend was impressed by my drinking skills and asked me if I drink often. But you see, I’m health conscious man. I don’t drink so often. D didn’t drink much as she had to drive us home. Anyway, she was really afraid to drink; otherwise she would get demerit points. As expected, we were stopped by police. It was road check, and D got checked and passed but still, fined $120. She forgot to put the probation plate you see. LOL. However, 1 more time she would get suspension and it would be 3 months.

When I reached home, I was dead tired. I called to comfort D and KNOCKED OUT. But I still woke up at 10? And she’s still sleeping I suppose.

This entry is long. Please enjoy reading. Anyway. Tokoyo Drift was good when played at clubbing!

All right. Everything is over! No more projects, no more exams... At leat for the next few months...

There're so much to blog about.. yet... Just didn't have the time to do so...

Before CNY...
I recall was superb busy... busy doing last minute of CSAS project edit... by the way... my peer apprasial was 4.4 and not 3.9 as was said by Ms Agnes Lee sia.. I think that person who was counting was trying to make some changes... -.-.. Otherwise why me but not others? LOL..

Anyway, luckily S encourage me to go find Ms Lee and check... But I smsed her ah... So... She actually went through and check everone's marks in the class too... Then, that's for school...

Back at home, clean up house and etc... get new clothes... it was preparation period...

For love, sadly... this year valentine was dearest termtest... we didn't celebrate... but we did had a make up after that... No presents... Just spending time... Hope she enjoy thou...


Then, it's CNY...
This year CNY was a a whole lot of shit. Didn't enjoy much. Due to upcomign exams, I didn't went out on the 3rd day of CNY... Stayed at home to study and good friend of mine came my house to teach me... Lucky got him to guide me through... Otherwise PCI could have been worse...

It was torturous to have exams with CNY man... It's like you can't get into focus and study well... However, after PCI paper... I really focus my UO2... Seriously hope that I could get a A... I never get a A before for my 5cu subject sia.. the most was B+ or otherwise B... and you know something... in poly... 2.5 marks away could be a grade difference.. 5 marks away could be a Z... it's all about the consistency and mental strength to focus daily and study hard for every test and quiz...


After exams...
Went out with R, J, S, S and W... J wants to eat new York sia.. But I remember it wasn't so nice... Anyway, it wasn't hala.. S can't eat... LOL.. so.. as what I initially suggested.. Muthu's Curry @ suntec..!

Oh mine... it's superb ok... the curry was seriously good.. we had the $30 fish head... and 5 of us ordered a side dish except for W.. It was worth it..! It's best that you eat in a group... if you're eating as a couple... then... it's be ex... and of course... you'll order a $20 fish.. which is a different grade of fish you see... So 5 is recommended and which include a girl.. Otherwise it wouldn't be enough.. LOL... Anyway, the bryani (not sure of spelling) rice wasn't that good... and it cost like $2.50 per person.. and it's not enough if you're a big eater.. it's like just 2 scoops? White rice cost $1.50 ehz.. and it'll be nice too I guess?

the malsa chicken was very good.. gravy is thick.. not spicy.. good taste of curry... and even if it's breast meat.. it's still tender and soft.. It's not like we say in dialect.. "sieap sieap" (tough) you know... chicken 65 (ordered by ruben) was great too... with the malsa gravy that i ordered... it was perfect!

The restaurant, i rate it 4/5. Anyway, my mum say go to the don't know what "Rist Coast Road"? Which was their first restaurant, would be cheaper? And they gave you those appetizer like the vege and etc... Not sure though... i'll check out more about it..

After which, we had bowling.. and W and I went home.. The rest of them go play Lan.. I was too tired already ah... Wanna be home and rest...

Anyway, i'll be updating my blog more often now.. 21 more days to final theory.. Must study liao sia.. zzz...

Anyway, this entry got lots of singlish and er... grammatical errors? So paiseh ah.. Next entry would be better... It's just another sharing session.. Must go makan and later go for driving liaoz... zzz... Byez....

I'm fine now. Hope things doesn't happen again.

It was so long since the last time I posted. So much to say, yet I have got no one to turn to. No one. This time, it’s broke up of a 3 years and 11 days relationship. So much of future that we thought about and planned. So many places and path we took. All came to a stop.

You were once sweet. You can go all the way to please me if I was angry for hours. Not now. U get agitated for little thing I do. No matter how inferior or scare I feel, I am still frank, faithful and no lies. This time, you lied.

A rule was made before the start of this relationship. No Lies. It’s simple, honest and truth. Then, there’ll be mutual trust. You knew it was on rocks, yet you still lied. Was it a way to make me listen? Or otherwise, should it be a better approach?

Haven’t I been a good enough boyfriend? Early morning to bring you to Chinese doctor, hopefully to correct your health as much as possible? Cooked for you when you were sick, help you with this and help you with that. Things changed and yet you didn’t notice. You don’t really bother about me a lot. Less care, less concern.

What do I mean? It doesn’t mean “have you taken your lunch”? When I was sick and fever, I companied for walks at shopping malls. You wanted to tried clothes, I disagreed. It wasn't a day for shopping. It was to talk and spend some quality time. To talk and share. However, come now, you say I don’t company you for shopping? Is that really so?

I wanted to taste your pineapple tarts once more… you always say you didn’t have time… is that really so? Then why do time spent with dogs is much more at home? Couldn’t the time be use for making tarts ma? When dogs were young, they needed extra care, I understood and you spent most of the time taking care of them. 6 dogs now, so how much could I expect more from you?

I just need your care and no lies. It is just that simple…

Let’s just split this relationship before and ever since poly life. Let’s think back and compare the treatment you have towards me. Why have I been so unreasonable? I have been all inside. I’m sorry, I couldn’t be any reasonable. I can’t think clearly anymore.

I put down my pride and ego. I understood the fact that a guy having too much of this, can hurt the girl a lot sometimes. I’m happy when you do well now too. Seriously happy. I could fully understand the sharing of joy in a relationship.

You treated it for granted. I put down my pride, you forget to respect it. You hurt it with your sarcasm, your lie and your excuses. If you were sarcastic, shouldn’t you already learn to be when I first knew you? Why only now and recently? Then come to tell me that your family upbringing. Is that an excuse or have you changed? Don’t you find that you’re finding more and more excuses for yourself? I never said all these.

Too close, too used to it. We tend to forget and treated what we have for granted. It has ended. Goodbye my angel. I miss those sweetness you once gave.

Oh well, exams are over and recently I had a class chalet. It was wonderful and enjoyable.

Pre-chalet mood was uncertainty which I experienced. I tell myself, it’s not going to be screwed this time. I went off early to meet SH for check in. Thanks a lot to him to make my class chalet a success. So like superman, I flew to pass Stingray to PS, drew money from my bank which belongs to the class and met did the check in plus inventory check. After meeting up with the rest, we checked in. I guess the first impression of the chalet was good. No doubt the place is cozy, comfortable and relaxing.

It was convenient for many too. I guess that was one reason why WL came for 2 nights. Glad. At least there are people making the effort. ZW too, I can sense that uncertainty and boredom in him initially. However, I guess he had mixed with us well w/o his usual buddies. Due to work, some check in late, so yeah… many of the food stuff and BBQin’ I got to look over, and I didn’t know where to find the stuff. Great that WL was there to aid me.

For 3 days, I guess many of us really relax. Not much house keeping this time, except that BBQ kind of make things messy and ME smelly. It took me don’t know how many bath to get rid of the BBQ smell on my hair and body on the next day. Zzz. Lucky with the aid of sauna, steam bathe, the smell kind of got rid… Then, had a game of soccer while some go Zzz… I didn’t know I still can have stamina to run and chase ball. I guess it’s just all in the mind. LOL. Shah didn’t played well though, we was irritated by the grassy. For me, nothing much until later when I sat on it and my butt felt a little itchy…

Dinner at pizza hut was a great one. LOL. We split into groups to have our meals. Hot and chessy. Then on the last night, I had majong till 3 am. After that I went off to the room to sleep and Shah was coming up with all the GAYS and dirty talks. So I guess the class should know who the real gay is now. LOL.

Out of 20 of us, 17 gave a chance and made this chalet an enjoyable and successful one. Oh, though Mega-Flame burns the throat and it also burned (bonded) the 17 of us together. Though not very bonded, it was better now. Keep up, and let’s move on AD24. Hopefully, we can have 1 more chalet yea. ARANDA again!!! I simply love the place. Any other better place?

First of all, Happy Teachers’ Day to all Teachers who have once taught me or who have shaped my life one way or another.

Today is Teachers’ Day eve, went back to PRCS today with my old pals. Miss being with them though and we even went to Party World for Kara! It has been a long time since we last hang out.

Would like to comment that the color combination of PRCS building seriously zZz. The gate seems like temple’s gate. RED COLOR. Special huh? Why? Ask the Principal. First, I met up with the OM Singh and Department of Head of PE San NOT Shan. Had my lunch with them on the table n chatted. Since I’m an ex-school student, speaking to them is so much carefree than before. After that, Razak came.

LOL. San n Singh was asking SM to get married early better. Razak says, “Alex, don’t listen to them, enjoy first. You can always adopt one.” 3 Generation types of people were present there. So just like the 9 pm show; Big Man, Small Man. Finally after 2 years, I manage to taste the food in school. Taste and feeling never change.

Once again, I inspected the room I love most in school, NCC Room. It was messy as expected. Before I left, it was comparable to Azhar’s NPCC room, though theirs was much cozier, but in terms of tidiness it was reasonably comparable.

After lunch I bulged into the staff room without calling up the teachers (while Joseph & company waited outside). I had a long chat with YYH. He was a wise man. Seriously wise. Maybe due to literature, the study of humanity, I’ve learnt to observed and understand people better than before. Last time, when he use to ‘suan’ me, I was affected of course. But I am a serious man who can’t take joke unlike now; skin thicker. Ha.

So how was life? Hectic, competitive, tiring. “Don’t have to bother how well people do, as long as you do your best and you have no regrets, it’s alright” “You’re hardworking; I believe you can do it.” Encouraging words which some how recharged the energy I’ve lost after a long time. No one does this in TP or ever since I left PRCS. I was touch at that moment. Thanks Mr Yeo.

After that, met up with Ms Chua, Luo Lao Shi, Mimi Lam…

Then the funniest man came into action; Mr Collin with his lame moves and cold jokes. More white hair, aged. I remember those times when he ran with us, giving us extra Maths lessons when we’re just Secondary 1 & 2, always “remedial time is 2.30 pm and till depends”. It's always until 6 anyway. The vain spot is there combing his hair, showing black face. I’m always scolded for being selfish, who just ran to the water cooler and take a sip after run which I wasn’t suppose to do so; Endurance, Determination, One for All, All for One. That’s the rules you play.

Mr Collin is a great teacher. He even wanted to pass me some exam papers for Science after I mentioned that I’m giving tuition to students. He too encouraged me; work harder and study hard! Without him, there wouldn’t be the Alex today here. He would be just as selfish and a guy who never learns. Chance. People need a chance. He gave me a chance to prove myself, a chance to change. Thanks to Singh and San too, otherwise I would have a Beta record now in my report book.

Then, changes took place during Secondary 3! That was 1 reason I wasn’t a counselor but a USM of PRCS only then. Anyway, the current Acting USM was the boy who I gave the “Best Cadet” award to when he was just Secondary One. He still remembers my name! I can sense from his eyes is full of respect! Ha, I’m afraid not up to it for my status now. So he asked me how to manage a unit and how to pull up the unit to Gold back. Then, tips were exchanged. Sad to say, after I left they dropped to Silver.

Then, tips are; be firm, mature, cool and steady, and train harder!

So I was talking about signing on Army and getting a degree during the sign on days with Mr Yeo. At least, during the 5 years I’ve income and pursuing a degree. Probably after 5 years, having a degree would help me get better jobs in the industry. He said “I see you to be potentially SAF last time leh, now I don’t think so!” LOL. What have I become? Potential for… Celebrity? Modeling? Okay, humble now. Shouldn’t be BHB.

I’m still thinking of ways to earn fast money though. I want a better life for my family.

So many teachers were still shock to know that Me and Diana were still together. They thought it was puppy love. Sad to say, I was much more matured than lah! That’s why it can preserver until now! Even Mdm Kamisah agreed! The rest of the praises given by her, I shan’t mention it. Haha…

All right. I’m motivated now! Studies aside for now. Gym harder!

Thanks to all Teachers. Cheers!