Life, Death & Love
most people will always think that my post is long. however, most of them always end up reading till the end.
interesting? or just out of curiosity?
an exciting day. worse case i've ever came across ever since i have been a medic specialist for the past 1 year.
fits was scary when i first saw it at airbase when i first became a medic.
heat cramps/exhaustion wasn't so much of fear then, despite the screaming in the resuscitation room aka emergency room.
today was a asthmatic patient, yet i was calm as well. but i regard it as the most interesting case just as i'm gonna ORD.
he collapsed and found by others.
upper and lower limbs were all cramped up due to the lack of oxygen going into his brains and the other parts of the body.
lungs looks really tight like vacuumed.
1 crab, 2 crabs and 3 crabs were all in the resuscitation room helping/looking.
you wonder why.
it's the organisation's day and they had a parade. the guy was a ad-hoc man who was out of course due to his medical condition. he didn't had any physical activities, yet his attack came just by purely walking down the stairway and found by big shots.
we seriously work like as if we were in the hospital emergency room.
i followed to the hospital, doc was at the back with one of my colleague.
sirens were on, and we really rush as fast as we could.
i even cut myself. =(
he was gasping for air, like earth was depleting of oxygen.
i guess i could feel that kinda anxiety and struggle, totally.
he came from a well off family and i shan't further talk about the background.
but his parents weren't panick at all, to my surprise (to rush down to pay him a visit).
"it wasn't the first time. there were many times and they were use to it. they need to work."
then i thought, "so what if this is the last time? what's next? cry?"
work over kinship or what?
taken for granted.
we'll never know when is our last day, our last time we could do something and leave this world without regrets.
today, have you not done something that you should?
saying sorry to the ones you love?
doing what you could have done to make things better or the world a better place?
today, 'we' saved one life.
i know, it's a fulfillment and an experience no one can ever feel.
i've never regretted what god has given me today, to be a medic. i know clearly what to do if anything happens. the 'panick' me has long gone.
life as it is, but we must do our best.
in his eyes, i could feel that gratefulness, the care & concern and love we've shown.
i suppose we'll always say, "never take life too seriously, or you'll never live out of it."
but i guess all of us were wrong.
it's meant to be serious business, making full use of what you have today and not taking every little things that has always been there, for granted.
be contented.
cherish what god gave you.
love is simple and so is romance.
money can only buy what you use and wear today.
it's the heart that you gave, the commitment and effort you want to put into.
never let go of the ones we love and love us the most.
it'll always be our lost, for not knowing how to appreciate.
well, BB saw me at CGH. she still could recognise me. it's really nice to see them working at hospitals.
S saw me at the resuscitation room while i was trying to get information, she just stoned and look at me for a few seconds, till her colleague nudged her.
i couldn't remember her name, and i didn't wanna recognise her at that point of time where her mask is on and i can't remember her name at the same time. but well, sadly she was too busy for me to try to say 'sorry, but do you recongise me?' but i knew she did lah, so i was kinda ps. Zzz.
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Casual.
i've got lotsa things i wanna do and buy.
- prepare for admission test
- job hunting
- japanese/french lessons
- surgery (considering)
- iphone 4
- lasik (to be referred by my doctor)??
- teeth whitening?
- panasonic GF1 camera/ video cam (feels damn good about it)
- soft rebonding for my hair
- japan/nz/aus backpacking trip??? well, my doc did it with his friends at NZ for 1 mth, work and play. sounds good but khakis dependent.
- LV wallet from Espanol (to be brought by RP)
- bags bags and more bags
- watch watch and more watches
i doubt my invesments profits are sufficient to fund me for all these. but at least half of them i suppose? hopefully by then, salary will fund up the rest and other lobangs. to be completed within the next 1 year and trips gonna depend on schedules and etc. =.=
but will definitely head to aust next year to find a friend of mine.
well, over at jap i've got a childhood friend over there as well.
shall see what i can do.
well, that's life on a lighter note.
July is here to come, time to donate BLOOD!!!
Friday, July 02, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Pre-mature Greying of Hair.
Yes, I'm suffering from this.
Worse than ever during my studying time.
Top of my head, a patch of hair are greying up.
None of my family members has any history of this.
The most common of all is only a few strands.
I wonder what has the past 10 months got me into.
Eccentrically insane?
Researched:
Grey hair, gives the indication of improper protein synthesis. The pigment melanin is responsible for the change of hair colours. Early greying of the hair is basically hereditary, and we can inherit it from one of our parents or grandparents.
Grey hair can also be influenced by stress. A person experiencing a prolonged period of stress and anxiety may notice, over a period of time, white hairs gradually appearing. Malnutrition, worry, shock, deep sorrow, tension and other similar conditions may also slow down the production of melanin resulting in grey hair.
Gonna dye it BLACK.
Yes, I'm suffering from this.
Worse than ever during my studying time.
Top of my head, a patch of hair are greying up.
None of my family members has any history of this.
The most common of all is only a few strands.
I wonder what has the past 10 months got me into.
Eccentrically insane?
Researched:
Grey hair, gives the indication of improper protein synthesis. The pigment melanin is responsible for the change of hair colours. Early greying of the hair is basically hereditary, and we can inherit it from one of our parents or grandparents.
Grey hair can also be influenced by stress. A person experiencing a prolonged period of stress and anxiety may notice, over a period of time, white hairs gradually appearing. Malnutrition, worry, shock, deep sorrow, tension and other similar conditions may also slow down the production of melanin resulting in grey hair.
Gonna dye it BLACK.
Monday, June 21, 2010
SO MUCH TO BLOG ABOUT, LIFESTYLES & EVERYTHING.
Blog song changed as well according to mood and this was something I came across through a friend. In this, it brings me back many memories during that period of my childhood.
Have been a little sick lately. Now, I can and know what drugs to dispense for myself for normal sickness.
Well, I wonder if it's due to the rushing up and down from work, then to school.
Improper dinner every alternate days.
I guess age is really catching up.
I used to teach tuition and woke up as early as 7 on a Saturday. So am I doing so nowadays, going for tutorial lessons in the morning for a good 3 hours.
Well, in the past my day for Saturday end on a Sunday morning of 3-4am and would usually wake up again on a 11am basis the next. Today, I slept till 3PM.
It has been sometime since we all start bowling again, and watching mid-night movie till 3AM. Past weeks has been busy for everyone I guess, busy with our very own life.
Lesser parties nowadays and getting on with serious business in life.
It has been a LONG away break from civilian life, and through these 2 years, there happened a LONG break for me (really slacker life after 1 year soldier) and BIG break of course. Well, engine are all kicking in, life is starting to be busy, just like before enlisted.
The last was Henessy Artistry Party @ St. James's PH. It was a great event, manage to smoke 5 invitation in exchange for 10 guests. 5 for JK's friend, including myself and J plus 4 other friends.
There I was in the queue and video camera pop out. Well, I wonder if that short clip of mine would appear anywhere online for the event. Some artists, models, medias and etc were present. Totally a different atmosphere from the normal clubbing scene. Free flow of mixes. It was great definitely.
Well, St. James PH has became my turf for bridging relationships with people. Getting 7 people in at 'under table' basis of 100 bucks with people. Cutting the VIP queue and getting friend in for free; causing the ladies behind to go like O.o?!
haha.
Well, people nowadays are getting on and off relationships with people. People are moving on faster than before. But, well. I guess single is good. No hurt, no pain, no responsibilities.
Today, I earn, I spend myself happily. Well, dates? I had a few dates for 2-3 weeks past a couple of months back. Well, they ain't having any true feelings involve. They were just infatuations people have I suppose? Well, I've stopped completely. It's a waste of my time/energy and money. =.=
Love is a natural occuring process. It's not about sweet words and chasing after. It ain't about dating, finding nor looking.
I guess I prefer making more good girls friends, knowing and learning more in upcoming years.
From time to time, having some good meals with friends/buddies/besties, buying them meals are far better off than spending on unnecessary dates. In here, building a lifetime relationships with them, I found fulfillment as well.
Spare time? Loneliness? Nah, please. There are many more self-developments things which you can do.
Like my Doctor also my friend, at the age of 27, he earn his own, drive his own, spend his own, carefree, date when he is interested in someone but well, he date those who he has been friends for 4-5 years?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I guess a true relationship is about knowing someone, somebody as friend for a year and even for many more years to come. It's when you knew and fully seen all his/her imperfections. You love him/her very true self and his or her past. It's probably being very best friends for years.
Romance are just little actions which you give from time to time, the love the care the concern despite years.
Someday, reality will set in. Managing family, finances and the many routine and mundane stuff in life, sweet words becomes more hypocritical.
Love is like when you formed True Partnership, like best friends in working every way out, never giving up this life time.
Well, humans will never be satisfied and everything will become bored one day. Ultimately, we've got to understand where our contentment lies and tell ourselves it's enough, and the rest that you get are bonus. Then, no expectations or anything further from your partner.
I guess I still believe in the last statement ultimately in marriage vows; "will you take care and be there for your spouse despite wealth and health."
Although as hypothetical as it can be from the above statement; as long as your spouse is trying their best to give what they could for you, with a heart, what else can you expect for?
He/she needs to love you at your ugliest look as ever happen before and the ugliest things you do and be there at where you are.
Probably when you're down with fever and whatever, he/she is there taking care of you through the night, making sure you're at best treated.
Sometimes, I wonder how can I ever really take myself to love someone again? Is like, I once did my best with all that I could. It was never a failure, but a well lesson learned as they say.
They always moved on to fill their void.
Do you ever remember those times where just holding onto someone's hand, sweetness just seep through both of your hands? Are you ready to really take care of someone?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
FOR YOU
Well, no one is at fault today. It's the skills of managing the relationship I guess. Well, some of my friends broke up too, they end up happy best friends. Some patched, some are still cool.
Sometimes, I wished the break up wasn't a phone call, wasn't a simple letter. It was suppose to be a talk, a nice one where very much of honest unhappiness should be voiced.
Well, I can be understanding towards the character, the way you are. Perhaps so, things just went your way. Hence, 'my way'; a more appropriate way which I suppose, wasn't carried out.
I guess Love is selfish? It's never fair to either party then.
Today, if it were ever happened to me, when she ASKED. I would say honestly upfront, "I love her, and we can't work out. My apologies, but we can always be friends."
Sometimes, I do wish today situations were better off. Perhaps, for that basic respect, for how long you have knew someone, for the sake of friendship, for the sake of the no. of happy years spent, honesty was a baseline for being responsible.
It isn't about who doesn't owe who what nor who owe who what. It's respect and responsibility for someone, somebody, a friend.
Running to allow time to resolve everything, one day, someday?
Today when you have started another relationship, how would you end things off maturely and more professionally if everything were to end one day?
well, 老牛吃嫩草; there's still working environment, very much more changes to come when things becomes bored and not as fresh one day. If someone were once to be a bastard, he/she will be a bastard twice as I believe.
There are many more years to come and counting on.
So how do you see the value of a relationship today?
You break off with your someone and get on with someone a few days/weeks later, because you have fallen for someone else?
Well, ex-CPL Armour Tech.
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LIFESTYLE: Skin Care
Recently, I've brought 7 skin care products as recommended by my Doctor from Sasa.
From toner to hydrating moisturizer, to sun screen cream, BB cream, makeup remover for BB cream, daily cleanser, exfoliate wash.
Most of it are products from Japan and Korea, only the exfoliate one is from Swiss.
Methods and care for your skin:
Well, exfoliate once a week and after exfoliate, do a clarifying mask. This is where your inner skin is more exposed and sensitive. Clarifying mask will absorb all impurities more appropriately. Say a Sunday then.
Differing cream use ONLY once/twice a week at night, you need to get Doctor's prescription for this. But well, it will aggravate pimples if you use it too frequent. Say Wednesday & Saturday NIGHT?
Every day after daily wash, have toner on, followed by hydrating moisturizer, Acne Cream if applicable on affected areas (only at night for none serious cases), Sun screen/BB Cream.
So you left with Monday, Tues, Thurs and Friday night.
You can have anti-wrinkled/anti sag cream to be applied on your eye areas on these days. Well, before that, you can have 100% PURE Aloe Vera to hydrate your skin if time permits. Leave it on for 15 minutes and WASH OFF.
Any facial products you use, try not to contain any form of ALCOHOL content. It will cause your pores to open more, sensitive, promote dryness, if not appropriately taken care of.
Can check out these brands, DR.G, Juju (toner and hydrating moisturizer) and Dermalogica. They are the top selling brands.
Lastly, do not keep changing skin care products once you have really use the good ones. Stick to it. Otherwise it'll be bad for your skin.
Well, that's not all, I'm still learning.
I'm trying to finish all my leftovers before I offically start on the ones I brought. Hopefully, by the time I ORD-ed.
It's really great to know Doctors, and I mean not the normal GP but Specialized ones. LOL. I know a number of them, from gynecologist (can help my wife to deliver), Pediatric Doctor (see my child for any case)and Orthopedic Doctor (when I'm old or have bone injuries). Well, I also got to know hairstylist Recruit who works at Jean Yip for 3-4 years earning like 3-4K per month as Senior Hairstylist. =.=
Well, interesting.
Blog song changed as well according to mood and this was something I came across through a friend. In this, it brings me back many memories during that period of my childhood.
Have been a little sick lately. Now, I can and know what drugs to dispense for myself for normal sickness.
Well, I wonder if it's due to the rushing up and down from work, then to school.
Improper dinner every alternate days.
I guess age is really catching up.
I used to teach tuition and woke up as early as 7 on a Saturday. So am I doing so nowadays, going for tutorial lessons in the morning for a good 3 hours.
Well, in the past my day for Saturday end on a Sunday morning of 3-4am and would usually wake up again on a 11am basis the next. Today, I slept till 3PM.
It has been sometime since we all start bowling again, and watching mid-night movie till 3AM. Past weeks has been busy for everyone I guess, busy with our very own life.
Lesser parties nowadays and getting on with serious business in life.
It has been a LONG away break from civilian life, and through these 2 years, there happened a LONG break for me (really slacker life after 1 year soldier) and BIG break of course. Well, engine are all kicking in, life is starting to be busy, just like before enlisted.
The last was Henessy Artistry Party @ St. James's PH. It was a great event, manage to smoke 5 invitation in exchange for 10 guests. 5 for JK's friend, including myself and J plus 4 other friends.
There I was in the queue and video camera pop out. Well, I wonder if that short clip of mine would appear anywhere online for the event. Some artists, models, medias and etc were present. Totally a different atmosphere from the normal clubbing scene. Free flow of mixes. It was great definitely.
Well, St. James PH has became my turf for bridging relationships with people. Getting 7 people in at 'under table' basis of 100 bucks with people. Cutting the VIP queue and getting friend in for free; causing the ladies behind to go like O.o?!
haha.
Well, people nowadays are getting on and off relationships with people. People are moving on faster than before. But, well. I guess single is good. No hurt, no pain, no responsibilities.
Today, I earn, I spend myself happily. Well, dates? I had a few dates for 2-3 weeks past a couple of months back. Well, they ain't having any true feelings involve. They were just infatuations people have I suppose? Well, I've stopped completely. It's a waste of my time/energy and money. =.=
Love is a natural occuring process. It's not about sweet words and chasing after. It ain't about dating, finding nor looking.
I guess I prefer making more good girls friends, knowing and learning more in upcoming years.
From time to time, having some good meals with friends/buddies/besties, buying them meals are far better off than spending on unnecessary dates. In here, building a lifetime relationships with them, I found fulfillment as well.
Spare time? Loneliness? Nah, please. There are many more self-developments things which you can do.
Like my Doctor also my friend, at the age of 27, he earn his own, drive his own, spend his own, carefree, date when he is interested in someone but well, he date those who he has been friends for 4-5 years?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I guess a true relationship is about knowing someone, somebody as friend for a year and even for many more years to come. It's when you knew and fully seen all his/her imperfections. You love him/her very true self and his or her past. It's probably being very best friends for years.
Romance are just little actions which you give from time to time, the love the care the concern despite years.
Someday, reality will set in. Managing family, finances and the many routine and mundane stuff in life, sweet words becomes more hypocritical.
Love is like when you formed True Partnership, like best friends in working every way out, never giving up this life time.
Well, humans will never be satisfied and everything will become bored one day. Ultimately, we've got to understand where our contentment lies and tell ourselves it's enough, and the rest that you get are bonus. Then, no expectations or anything further from your partner.
I guess I still believe in the last statement ultimately in marriage vows; "will you take care and be there for your spouse despite wealth and health."
Although as hypothetical as it can be from the above statement; as long as your spouse is trying their best to give what they could for you, with a heart, what else can you expect for?
He/she needs to love you at your ugliest look as ever happen before and the ugliest things you do and be there at where you are.
Probably when you're down with fever and whatever, he/she is there taking care of you through the night, making sure you're at best treated.
Sometimes, I wonder how can I ever really take myself to love someone again? Is like, I once did my best with all that I could. It was never a failure, but a well lesson learned as they say.
They always moved on to fill their void.
Do you ever remember those times where just holding onto someone's hand, sweetness just seep through both of your hands? Are you ready to really take care of someone?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
FOR YOU
Well, no one is at fault today. It's the skills of managing the relationship I guess. Well, some of my friends broke up too, they end up happy best friends. Some patched, some are still cool.
Sometimes, I wished the break up wasn't a phone call, wasn't a simple letter. It was suppose to be a talk, a nice one where very much of honest unhappiness should be voiced.
Well, I can be understanding towards the character, the way you are. Perhaps so, things just went your way. Hence, 'my way'; a more appropriate way which I suppose, wasn't carried out.
I guess Love is selfish? It's never fair to either party then.
Today, if it were ever happened to me, when she ASKED. I would say honestly upfront, "I love her, and we can't work out. My apologies, but we can always be friends."
Sometimes, I do wish today situations were better off. Perhaps, for that basic respect, for how long you have knew someone, for the sake of friendship, for the sake of the no. of happy years spent, honesty was a baseline for being responsible.
It isn't about who doesn't owe who what nor who owe who what. It's respect and responsibility for someone, somebody, a friend.
Running to allow time to resolve everything, one day, someday?
Today when you have started another relationship, how would you end things off maturely and more professionally if everything were to end one day?
well, 老牛吃嫩草; there's still working environment, very much more changes to come when things becomes bored and not as fresh one day. If someone were once to be a bastard, he/she will be a bastard twice as I believe.
There are many more years to come and counting on.
So how do you see the value of a relationship today?
You break off with your someone and get on with someone a few days/weeks later, because you have fallen for someone else?
Well, ex-CPL Armour Tech.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
LIFESTYLE: Skin Care
Recently, I've brought 7 skin care products as recommended by my Doctor from Sasa.
From toner to hydrating moisturizer, to sun screen cream, BB cream, makeup remover for BB cream, daily cleanser, exfoliate wash.
Most of it are products from Japan and Korea, only the exfoliate one is from Swiss.
Methods and care for your skin:
Well, exfoliate once a week and after exfoliate, do a clarifying mask. This is where your inner skin is more exposed and sensitive. Clarifying mask will absorb all impurities more appropriately. Say a Sunday then.
Differing cream use ONLY once/twice a week at night, you need to get Doctor's prescription for this. But well, it will aggravate pimples if you use it too frequent. Say Wednesday & Saturday NIGHT?
Every day after daily wash, have toner on, followed by hydrating moisturizer, Acne Cream if applicable on affected areas (only at night for none serious cases), Sun screen/BB Cream.
So you left with Monday, Tues, Thurs and Friday night.
You can have anti-wrinkled/anti sag cream to be applied on your eye areas on these days. Well, before that, you can have 100% PURE Aloe Vera to hydrate your skin if time permits. Leave it on for 15 minutes and WASH OFF.
Any facial products you use, try not to contain any form of ALCOHOL content. It will cause your pores to open more, sensitive, promote dryness, if not appropriately taken care of.
Can check out these brands, DR.G, Juju (toner and hydrating moisturizer) and Dermalogica. They are the top selling brands.
Lastly, do not keep changing skin care products once you have really use the good ones. Stick to it. Otherwise it'll be bad for your skin.
Well, that's not all, I'm still learning.
I'm trying to finish all my leftovers before I offically start on the ones I brought. Hopefully, by the time I ORD-ed.
It's really great to know Doctors, and I mean not the normal GP but Specialized ones. LOL. I know a number of them, from gynecologist (can help my wife to deliver), Pediatric Doctor (see my child for any case)and Orthopedic Doctor (when I'm old or have bone injuries). Well, I also got to know hairstylist Recruit who works at Jean Yip for 3-4 years earning like 3-4K per month as Senior Hairstylist. =.=
Well, interesting.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Have you ever wonder… (extracted from http://newheightslifecoaching.typepad.com) with personal reviews...
Have you ever wondered: “Why is our relationship so hard? Things were so perfect when we first met - what happened?” Most likely, the answer is that you’ve left the first stage of your relationship, and have moved into another.
many a times we left feelings unresolved and moved on to another r/s. through time, we almost forgotten how the most real feelings was like to be in a true r/s. maybe like what C told me, even though she might be with a new guy now, she still misses her ex. but all she did was to psychologically tell herself that things has changed or he had change and isn't the one she loves. yet, it seems that through time, people actually do play a part in the deepest part of our souls.
so what happen today? is it ego that are keeping us from the many things we wish to salvage in life? or is it the case that people can actually forget those beautiful memories? only when we experience the hurt again, only then we'll learn to appreciate what has always been there?
But could it really be that easy?
Yes! Most people understand that relationships grow and change over time… but what many people don’t know is that they tend to evolve in the same way. There are specific, defined stages of long-term relationships, which offer new feelings, new challenges to overcome, and new opportunities for growth. And if you want your relationship to evolve into one of mutual respect, love and intimacy, it’s likely that you’ll have to experience all of the following relationship stages at some point or another. Take a look at the description of each phase – does any of this sound familiar?
Before we get started, you should know that most people experience these stages in this order, and will need to resolve the challenges in each stage before they can move successfully on to the next. Of course there are always exceptions to this rule. But for the most part, you can’t get out of experiencing all of these stages if you want a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Every couple will move through these stages at different speeds, and most people will experience each stage more than once – it is common to fluctuate from one stage to another.*
Okay, now that I’ve given you the basic info, let’s dig a little deeper….
5 Stages of Committed Relationships
Stage 1 – The Romance Stage
This is also known as the Courtship Phase or the Fantasy Stage, and can last anywhere from 2 months to 2 years. This is when you and your partner have just met, and everything is absolutely amazing (that's where they say love is blind, and one day you get shot and woke up from your dreams). You can’t get enough of each other. Neither of you can do any wrong in the eyes of the other… mainly because you’re both still on your best behavior. The focus in this stage is on commonalities – you have so many common interests, you could practically be the same person! You show your partner your absolute best self, and you try to please each other as much as possible. Conflict is seen as “bad” in this stage, and is avoided at all costs. You can’t imagine living without this person, so you begin spending as much time together as possible. This is the stage when our defenses are down the most, which allows you to be open to and fall in love. You and your partner are building an important foundation in this stage, so your relationship can grow. There are biological effects as well. When you’re in this stage, your body is producing enormous amounts of endorphins, which makes you feel unusually happy, positive and excited about everything in your life (this is that “head over heels in love” feeling!). This is the stage most often portrayed in movies and romantic novels, for obvious reasons. Bottom line – you are happier than you’ve ever been, and can’t imagine ever feeling any differently.
Stage 2 – The Disillusionment Stage
This stage is also known as the Familiarization Stage, or the Adjusting to Reality Phase. This is where you begin to realize that your partner is actually a human being (horror of horrors!). You get to know each other more and more, and as a result you start recognizing their various flaws and shortcomings. You see your partner in relaxed situations, and you become more relaxed as well. Since your body cannot possibly continue to produce the same levels of endorphins that it was in the beginning, those feelings of being on top of the world start to decline. Your partner’s little habits aren’t quite as cute as they used to be, but there is still enough goodwill from the Romance Stage that you’re willing to overlook them. This stage can start to trickle into your relationship slowly, as you begin to see your partner for who s/he really is. Or sometimes it happens all of a sudden, when there has been some sort of dishonesty or deceit. This phase can be confusing and discouraging, since you’ve just experienced so much openness and connection in the Romance Stage. However, at this stage, your main job is to learn how to communicate and resolve conflict with this person effectively, which is an important skill if you want your relationship to continue.
Stage 3 – The Power Struggle Stage
This stage is also known as the Disappointment Phase or Distress Stage. As the characteristics from the Disillusionment Phase intensify, they become harder and harder to deal with. You will most likely begin to pull away from each other in this stage. At this point, you both still believe that conflict is a “bad” thing, but you are increasingly aware of your many differences. You fight to draw boundaries in the relationship, and as a result even small annoyances become big issues. This is the stage where you define unacceptable behavior, and most couples have occasional or frequent thoughts of leaving the relationship. More and more often, you start to feel like your partner is self-centered or un-caring, or even worse, that they simply can’t be trusted. Deep resentments begin to build if you’re unable to resolve your issues in a respectful and mutually agreeable way. Many couples get stuck in this stage, because this way of interacting becomes normal in their relationship. This is when it is absolutely necessary to learn to manage your differences effectively - to communicate and work together as a team, even though it’s tempting to believe that your partner’s sole purpose on Earth is to make your life difficult. Not surprisingly, this is the stage most couples are in when they decide to break up or file for divorce. However, if they are able to negotiate all of the landmines during this phase, they’ll move on to….
Stage 4 – The Stability Stage
This is a restful and peaceful time, compared to the last stage. This stage is also known as the Friendship Phase or Reconciliation Stage. Some couples never make it to this stage, but the ones who do find that they have deeper feelings of love, connection and trust with their partner. You now have history together, and most people begin to rely on the predictability of the relationship. As you enter this stage, you begin to realize that your partner isn’t perfect, but your personal differences aren’t quite as threatening as they used to be. You’re able to resolve most of your differences, at least to some extent, and you become more confident in the relationship. Some people feel a sense of loss in this stage as they learn to accept their partner for who they truly are, since this means they have to let go of the fantasy that was established early on in the relationship. But for the most part, the deepening sense of friendship and commitment is a good trade-off for those early feelings of butterflies and excitement. This is also when you begin to re-establish your own outside interests and friendships, which were given up in the Romance Phase. There is some danger that you may begin to drift apart from or become bored with your partner in this phase, so you should try to maintain the connection that was created in the Romance Phase. Overall, this is the stage when you finally begin to feel comfortable and happy with your deepening relationship.
Stage 5 – The Commitment Stage
This stage is also known as the Acceptance Phase, the Transformation Stage, or the Real Love Phase. It is estimated that fewer than 5% of couples actually make it to this stage, according to The Relationship Institute. This is the stage when both couples have a clear notion of who their partner is, faults, foibles and weaknesses galore… yet they make a conscious choice to be with this person in spite of all of those things (and in some cases, because of those things). You are no longer with your partner because you need them, but because you’ve chosen them, which means the level of resentment you felt in the Power Struggle Phase has decreased, if not disappeared. If you’ve made it to this stage, you and your partner are a team. You genuinely love your partner, and you look out for their best interests just as much as you look out for your own. Your partner is your best friend. There are few surprises about your partner's habits or character in this phase. You’ve collaborated to overcome many challenges together, and have grown to accept and support each other without restriction. Your vision for your relationship is in congruence with who you are and what you both truly want. You have discussed your future together - you have similar life goals, and you feel encouraged to define your relationship further. Many couples decide to make a formal or public commitment to each other in this stage (such as marriage) to demonstrate their intention to continue their relationship. This is the stage in which your relationship becomes a true partnership.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
so what are you going for today?
butterflies in your stomach? romance?
or do you find someone who truly loves you?
i was once told, all it matters was how much you love me.
i guess no matter how long you date doesn't matter. wedding ceremonies doesn't matter as well.
what matters is, how long can you truly love somebody and hurdle through the many things in reality and creates a true relationship at the end of the day?
sometimes, i wonder where is the true value of a relationship which you have formed with somebody.
but well, love is blind as they say.
and change is as good as the end of a chapter or a death of a person.
everyone knows.
"why cherish people who doesn't cherish you?"
"what you've understood today, isn't what she does."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear CPL Armour Technician Boy,
you better do what's right.
i've got all the fuck details i have of you.
take good care of your weak body.
i don't blame you for all the ugly situation and results we all have today.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Well, life's been busy.
Lessons have started.
Studies and career are my top priority.
Language studies are upcoming next, and so much so for playing of strings.
Good news for my investments.
Maturity are soon to come.
So does ORD.
Fitness are maintaining well. Running 5KM every now and then with my Doctor. Trying to clock between 15 ~20 minutes @ 5Km. i think it's good enough and running every other 2 days, toning at every other alternate days @ gym.
Otherwise, how to eat more nice and good food?!
Infusion for patients getting more and more skillful esp. after giving medical lessons for the special breed and more and more practice with the no. of patients and casualties from day to day.
shall focus and work hard and smart for the next 3 years.
life is short, live it well.
we don't have much time to lose.
keep learning, don't stop.
Cheers! =)
Have you ever wondered: “Why is our relationship so hard? Things were so perfect when we first met - what happened?” Most likely, the answer is that you’ve left the first stage of your relationship, and have moved into another.
many a times we left feelings unresolved and moved on to another r/s. through time, we almost forgotten how the most real feelings was like to be in a true r/s. maybe like what C told me, even though she might be with a new guy now, she still misses her ex. but all she did was to psychologically tell herself that things has changed or he had change and isn't the one she loves. yet, it seems that through time, people actually do play a part in the deepest part of our souls.
so what happen today? is it ego that are keeping us from the many things we wish to salvage in life? or is it the case that people can actually forget those beautiful memories? only when we experience the hurt again, only then we'll learn to appreciate what has always been there?
But could it really be that easy?
Yes! Most people understand that relationships grow and change over time… but what many people don’t know is that they tend to evolve in the same way. There are specific, defined stages of long-term relationships, which offer new feelings, new challenges to overcome, and new opportunities for growth. And if you want your relationship to evolve into one of mutual respect, love and intimacy, it’s likely that you’ll have to experience all of the following relationship stages at some point or another. Take a look at the description of each phase – does any of this sound familiar?
Before we get started, you should know that most people experience these stages in this order, and will need to resolve the challenges in each stage before they can move successfully on to the next. Of course there are always exceptions to this rule. But for the most part, you can’t get out of experiencing all of these stages if you want a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Every couple will move through these stages at different speeds, and most people will experience each stage more than once – it is common to fluctuate from one stage to another.*
Okay, now that I’ve given you the basic info, let’s dig a little deeper….
5 Stages of Committed Relationships
Stage 1 – The Romance Stage
This is also known as the Courtship Phase or the Fantasy Stage, and can last anywhere from 2 months to 2 years. This is when you and your partner have just met, and everything is absolutely amazing (that's where they say love is blind, and one day you get shot and woke up from your dreams). You can’t get enough of each other. Neither of you can do any wrong in the eyes of the other… mainly because you’re both still on your best behavior. The focus in this stage is on commonalities – you have so many common interests, you could practically be the same person! You show your partner your absolute best self, and you try to please each other as much as possible. Conflict is seen as “bad” in this stage, and is avoided at all costs. You can’t imagine living without this person, so you begin spending as much time together as possible. This is the stage when our defenses are down the most, which allows you to be open to and fall in love. You and your partner are building an important foundation in this stage, so your relationship can grow. There are biological effects as well. When you’re in this stage, your body is producing enormous amounts of endorphins, which makes you feel unusually happy, positive and excited about everything in your life (this is that “head over heels in love” feeling!). This is the stage most often portrayed in movies and romantic novels, for obvious reasons. Bottom line – you are happier than you’ve ever been, and can’t imagine ever feeling any differently.
Stage 2 – The Disillusionment Stage
This stage is also known as the Familiarization Stage, or the Adjusting to Reality Phase. This is where you begin to realize that your partner is actually a human being (horror of horrors!). You get to know each other more and more, and as a result you start recognizing their various flaws and shortcomings. You see your partner in relaxed situations, and you become more relaxed as well. Since your body cannot possibly continue to produce the same levels of endorphins that it was in the beginning, those feelings of being on top of the world start to decline. Your partner’s little habits aren’t quite as cute as they used to be, but there is still enough goodwill from the Romance Stage that you’re willing to overlook them. This stage can start to trickle into your relationship slowly, as you begin to see your partner for who s/he really is. Or sometimes it happens all of a sudden, when there has been some sort of dishonesty or deceit. This phase can be confusing and discouraging, since you’ve just experienced so much openness and connection in the Romance Stage. However, at this stage, your main job is to learn how to communicate and resolve conflict with this person effectively, which is an important skill if you want your relationship to continue.
Stage 3 – The Power Struggle Stage
This stage is also known as the Disappointment Phase or Distress Stage. As the characteristics from the Disillusionment Phase intensify, they become harder and harder to deal with. You will most likely begin to pull away from each other in this stage. At this point, you both still believe that conflict is a “bad” thing, but you are increasingly aware of your many differences. You fight to draw boundaries in the relationship, and as a result even small annoyances become big issues. This is the stage where you define unacceptable behavior, and most couples have occasional or frequent thoughts of leaving the relationship. More and more often, you start to feel like your partner is self-centered or un-caring, or even worse, that they simply can’t be trusted. Deep resentments begin to build if you’re unable to resolve your issues in a respectful and mutually agreeable way. Many couples get stuck in this stage, because this way of interacting becomes normal in their relationship. This is when it is absolutely necessary to learn to manage your differences effectively - to communicate and work together as a team, even though it’s tempting to believe that your partner’s sole purpose on Earth is to make your life difficult. Not surprisingly, this is the stage most couples are in when they decide to break up or file for divorce. However, if they are able to negotiate all of the landmines during this phase, they’ll move on to….
Stage 4 – The Stability Stage
This is a restful and peaceful time, compared to the last stage. This stage is also known as the Friendship Phase or Reconciliation Stage. Some couples never make it to this stage, but the ones who do find that they have deeper feelings of love, connection and trust with their partner. You now have history together, and most people begin to rely on the predictability of the relationship. As you enter this stage, you begin to realize that your partner isn’t perfect, but your personal differences aren’t quite as threatening as they used to be. You’re able to resolve most of your differences, at least to some extent, and you become more confident in the relationship. Some people feel a sense of loss in this stage as they learn to accept their partner for who they truly are, since this means they have to let go of the fantasy that was established early on in the relationship. But for the most part, the deepening sense of friendship and commitment is a good trade-off for those early feelings of butterflies and excitement. This is also when you begin to re-establish your own outside interests and friendships, which were given up in the Romance Phase. There is some danger that you may begin to drift apart from or become bored with your partner in this phase, so you should try to maintain the connection that was created in the Romance Phase. Overall, this is the stage when you finally begin to feel comfortable and happy with your deepening relationship.
Stage 5 – The Commitment Stage
This stage is also known as the Acceptance Phase, the Transformation Stage, or the Real Love Phase. It is estimated that fewer than 5% of couples actually make it to this stage, according to The Relationship Institute. This is the stage when both couples have a clear notion of who their partner is, faults, foibles and weaknesses galore… yet they make a conscious choice to be with this person in spite of all of those things (and in some cases, because of those things). You are no longer with your partner because you need them, but because you’ve chosen them, which means the level of resentment you felt in the Power Struggle Phase has decreased, if not disappeared. If you’ve made it to this stage, you and your partner are a team. You genuinely love your partner, and you look out for their best interests just as much as you look out for your own. Your partner is your best friend. There are few surprises about your partner's habits or character in this phase. You’ve collaborated to overcome many challenges together, and have grown to accept and support each other without restriction. Your vision for your relationship is in congruence with who you are and what you both truly want. You have discussed your future together - you have similar life goals, and you feel encouraged to define your relationship further. Many couples decide to make a formal or public commitment to each other in this stage (such as marriage) to demonstrate their intention to continue their relationship. This is the stage in which your relationship becomes a true partnership.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
so what are you going for today?
butterflies in your stomach? romance?
or do you find someone who truly loves you?
i was once told, all it matters was how much you love me.
i guess no matter how long you date doesn't matter. wedding ceremonies doesn't matter as well.
what matters is, how long can you truly love somebody and hurdle through the many things in reality and creates a true relationship at the end of the day?
sometimes, i wonder where is the true value of a relationship which you have formed with somebody.
but well, love is blind as they say.
and change is as good as the end of a chapter or a death of a person.
everyone knows.
"why cherish people who doesn't cherish you?"
"what you've understood today, isn't what she does."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear CPL Armour Technician Boy,
you better do what's right.
i've got all the fuck details i have of you.
take good care of your weak body.
i don't blame you for all the ugly situation and results we all have today.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Well, life's been busy.
Lessons have started.
Studies and career are my top priority.
Language studies are upcoming next, and so much so for playing of strings.
Good news for my investments.
Maturity are soon to come.
So does ORD.
Fitness are maintaining well. Running 5KM every now and then with my Doctor. Trying to clock between 15 ~20 minutes @ 5Km. i think it's good enough and running every other 2 days, toning at every other alternate days @ gym.
Otherwise, how to eat more nice and good food?!
Infusion for patients getting more and more skillful esp. after giving medical lessons for the special breed and more and more practice with the no. of patients and casualties from day to day.
shall focus and work hard and smart for the next 3 years.
life is short, live it well.
we don't have much time to lose.
keep learning, don't stop.
Cheers! =)
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
as per requested by my dear friends who loves to read on my perspectives on r/s, love etc.
since then, i'm thinking of revamping my whole blog or probably shift to a new one with animations n etc involve, maybe on lifestyles, fashion, food, and human relationships. who knows i may become a celebrity blogger? haha. dream dream. wait till i fully get my laptop fixed, and master dreamwaver with photoshop cs5.
my bro did, i don't believe i couldn't.
give me some time then.
i wanted to keep it simple, but well.. we should get complicated. or life is.. isn't it?
maybe i should ask myself why i should stop typing?
sorry for any tenses and etc for this entry. i kinda cant be bothered to type properly at sucha time.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
在你左右
你是否曾想过你最爱的人欺骗过你吗？
有些人能够很潇洒的拿起让后放下
有些人不管时间过了多久都会怀旧
今天的你属于了那一类型的人?
maybe like what my brother shared with me the other day... humans are never satisfied.
you have been there, always there. there are many little things which you may have done, the efforts, your sweat; your persistence brought you through time. people's lifestyle changes, perspective about many things changes.
things started to be taken for granted. i.e. for the little thing you brought, all your heart and soul was probably a token hoping that this little gift would be a charm to protect the dearest one you love. yet, you probably seen it chucked aside. disappointed?
i was kinda chatting with L, then i was mentioning about this bag of greenbeans which my grandma probably gave it to be while i was young. till today, it's still in my couple, power rangers pencil case, envelopes and etc. even say stickers, which i probably used a few, i would at least keep the last one just to remember that it was once grandma/aunt who brought me. today when i see it, i'll remember who has given me what, though the place/date that is probably not recorded.
many of us love to receive surprises, love and etc. immediately, we were touched by what's given to us. (we're all visual creatures) however, why not have the image that flashes in your mind; how has he go about doing so? how was his effort? how did he do it? even for the simplest thing that he has done, say packing meals and etc; have you thought about the long queue/waiting time, how he has travel just to deliver it to you?
i'm not trying to ask you to weigh or calculate love for all that you've given.
love is about appreciating, isn't it? sometimes or often than not, when it has been there, always there; every little thing was forgotten/not seen. we don't often remember the good little things such as the aforementioned. so i hope those who are in love, sees this.
we probably remember those impactful ones, hurtful ones, BIG surprise one.
you know when do man start to feel tired about r/s? when he/she has given all, but least feel appreciated at the end of the day. energizing man to do things for you is easy, but you got to get your language right.
有人说你越恨就是越爱.
weird huh? sometimes we're so blinded by hatred which was cause by another party that we actually forget how much we do actually love them.
could you ever recall how the soul that was joined so fully as one? the trust, the bond, the TRUE love that was built over time.
mind you, no one enters the stage of TRUE love till about 3-4 years and more. And, you'll experience, "fall in love" with your partner again. only then, it'll be even more beautiful. only when more hurdles are crossed, differences are brushed, only then it'll evolve, yet still knowing how to appreciate one another. otherwise, the first 3 years are probably still on discovering process, where lust and passion are still burning HOT.
when you first truly love someone, it isn't about his/her looks, it isn't about his/her talents or capability. you fell in love with his/her flaws which looks so beautiful to you.
you don't nor can you love someone ALOT everyday. you love someone a little more each day, and you love him/her more or less on different days. you'll always think about him/her irregardless of where you are; your concern and curiosity about him/her despite time & place.
what has your mind deny you of, today?
the day your wife die, only then she's called yours.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
S will hate me for the next part. but i'll only reflect the truth about reality.
when you're in love, you feel butterflies in your stomach, but words play the part.
when you never thought that there's an ending, we forgot that passion dies.
i believe actions through time speaks louder than words and even beliefs.
today if a girl were to leave her BF for me, she will do so once again.
however, women do love men to sweet-talk them. only then they feel they are loved.
yet, at the end, they are the ones who will hurt you most. sad, but it's a fact.
today, you may think why am i not entering one? i know my time hasn't come, i've got 8 years long to chose or even more.
when you enter one r/s, it isn't about trial an error, it isn't about filling your void. it's when you know you will love and care for that someone despite health and wealth, this life-time.
somehow, i made pretty much good girlfriends whom i can often chat with.. be it phone/sms/msn. And i mean i do really take them as FRIENDS and no other intentions.
love is a natural occurrence process. don't have to find nor look for it.
time is still early. you'll have the best to come. =)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
爱情是撒旦送来的礼物
拆开之后
你的人生就陷入万劫不复
爱情是毒菜穿的糖衣
甜美的包装不是致命的危机
爱情是残酷的游戏
当你好不容易鼓起勇气
付出真心的时候
再一次让你陷入失望的绝境
真心是笑话
勇气是废话
坚持是鬼话
忠贞是梦话
幸福是屁话
一生一世的相恋或许只是出现在言情小说里面的情节...
have i satisfy your appetite?
basic military talk is on episode 4 now. mine is probably 6/7... still a long way before the video surfaces. =.=
since then, i'm thinking of revamping my whole blog or probably shift to a new one with animations n etc involve, maybe on lifestyles, fashion, food, and human relationships. who knows i may become a celebrity blogger? haha. dream dream. wait till i fully get my laptop fixed, and master dreamwaver with photoshop cs5.
my bro did, i don't believe i couldn't.
give me some time then.
i wanted to keep it simple, but well.. we should get complicated. or life is.. isn't it?
maybe i should ask myself why i should stop typing?
sorry for any tenses and etc for this entry. i kinda cant be bothered to type properly at sucha time.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
在你左右
你是否曾想过你最爱的人欺骗过你吗？
有些人能够很潇洒的拿起让后放下
有些人不管时间过了多久都会怀旧
今天的你属于了那一类型的人?
maybe like what my brother shared with me the other day... humans are never satisfied.
you have been there, always there. there are many little things which you may have done, the efforts, your sweat; your persistence brought you through time. people's lifestyle changes, perspective about many things changes.
things started to be taken for granted. i.e. for the little thing you brought, all your heart and soul was probably a token hoping that this little gift would be a charm to protect the dearest one you love. yet, you probably seen it chucked aside. disappointed?
i was kinda chatting with L, then i was mentioning about this bag of greenbeans which my grandma probably gave it to be while i was young. till today, it's still in my couple, power rangers pencil case, envelopes and etc. even say stickers, which i probably used a few, i would at least keep the last one just to remember that it was once grandma/aunt who brought me. today when i see it, i'll remember who has given me what, though the place/date that is probably not recorded.
many of us love to receive surprises, love and etc. immediately, we were touched by what's given to us. (we're all visual creatures) however, why not have the image that flashes in your mind; how has he go about doing so? how was his effort? how did he do it? even for the simplest thing that he has done, say packing meals and etc; have you thought about the long queue/waiting time, how he has travel just to deliver it to you?
i'm not trying to ask you to weigh or calculate love for all that you've given.
love is about appreciating, isn't it? sometimes or often than not, when it has been there, always there; every little thing was forgotten/not seen. we don't often remember the good little things such as the aforementioned. so i hope those who are in love, sees this.
we probably remember those impactful ones, hurtful ones, BIG surprise one.
you know when do man start to feel tired about r/s? when he/she has given all, but least feel appreciated at the end of the day. energizing man to do things for you is easy, but you got to get your language right.
有人说你越恨就是越爱.
weird huh? sometimes we're so blinded by hatred which was cause by another party that we actually forget how much we do actually love them.
could you ever recall how the soul that was joined so fully as one? the trust, the bond, the TRUE love that was built over time.
mind you, no one enters the stage of TRUE love till about 3-4 years and more. And, you'll experience, "fall in love" with your partner again. only then, it'll be even more beautiful. only when more hurdles are crossed, differences are brushed, only then it'll evolve, yet still knowing how to appreciate one another. otherwise, the first 3 years are probably still on discovering process, where lust and passion are still burning HOT.
when you first truly love someone, it isn't about his/her looks, it isn't about his/her talents or capability. you fell in love with his/her flaws which looks so beautiful to you.
you don't nor can you love someone ALOT everyday. you love someone a little more each day, and you love him/her more or less on different days. you'll always think about him/her irregardless of where you are; your concern and curiosity about him/her despite time & place.
what has your mind deny you of, today?
the day your wife die, only then she's called yours.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
S will hate me for the next part. but i'll only reflect the truth about reality.
when you're in love, you feel butterflies in your stomach, but words play the part.
when you never thought that there's an ending, we forgot that passion dies.
i believe actions through time speaks louder than words and even beliefs.
today if a girl were to leave her BF for me, she will do so once again.
however, women do love men to sweet-talk them. only then they feel they are loved.
yet, at the end, they are the ones who will hurt you most. sad, but it's a fact.
today, you may think why am i not entering one? i know my time hasn't come, i've got 8 years long to chose or even more.
when you enter one r/s, it isn't about trial an error, it isn't about filling your void. it's when you know you will love and care for that someone despite health and wealth, this life-time.
somehow, i made pretty much good girlfriends whom i can often chat with.. be it phone/sms/msn. And i mean i do really take them as FRIENDS and no other intentions.
love is a natural occurrence process. don't have to find nor look for it.
time is still early. you'll have the best to come. =)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
爱情是撒旦送来的礼物
拆开之后
你的人生就陷入万劫不复
爱情是毒菜穿的糖衣
甜美的包装不是致命的危机
爱情是残酷的游戏
当你好不容易鼓起勇气
付出真心的时候
再一次让你陷入失望的绝境
真心是笑话
勇气是废话
坚持是鬼话
忠贞是梦话
幸福是屁话
一生一世的相恋或许只是出现在言情小说里面的情节...
have i satisfy your appetite?
basic military talk is on episode 4 now. mine is probably 6/7... still a long way before the video surfaces. =.=
Friday, May 28, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
truth & lies/ expectations vs habits.
somehow these few days, few or rather 2 women happen to "su ku" to me.
C was telling me over the phone how selfish she probably feel her boy is, probably to a point where the man say, he couldn't breathe. yet, she ain't restricting him from doing anything. i pondered about mine then...
"he didn't understand what love is", it's about compromising & accomodating.
so i thought about dates which i had, which probably mid-way... snapped and we got to leave the restaurant for some other purposes.
so she talks about her little family issues and linking to why can't the man understand.
man are no doubt childish to a certain extend in r/s. it's dependent on what ways and how. some may feel comfortable, doing a little childish things to probably make the r/s fun and doing this in inappropriate times probably irritates the women. some men can be childish as bringing up petty issues and quarrels.
let's not be sexist and take what a man should do or what a women should do. because, whatever that's done should be coming naturally from the heart. no expectations. we're all humans ain't we?
we have mood swings and that's what a r/s is for, to be there for one another. have you ever feel when you're single and when you have a mood swing, all that you could probably be moody towards to, is just yourself?
had a chat with a NSmen who's 27. heard stories about his life. so talking about his r/s... he was dumped and patched when he was serving his NS. no doubt was the lady who cheated though. he loses faith in r/s, thereafter going one after another. currently he has one for 3 years.
out of curiosity, i ask... have you ever been honest about your past?
he said, "no".
for the past 3 years, there wasn't any honesty. yet he said he regretted going on with so many flings just for the feeling of company. and he told me, sometimes your maturity comes later. and sometimes after sometime in life, then you start to regret some of the decisions you actually made.
i realized, sometimes i think too far. yet, probably some people don't.
sometimes i wonder, in your life, you're faced with putting on a mask daily. yet, when supposedly love is what you think about is innocent, you're actually blinded by the lies that lie behind.
so from the conversation, i made an observation in comparison to mine, or rather perhaps it's an common case...
your girl just finished her lessons, she expects you to pick her up.
he said he was tired, so he didn't say he was tired. he said that he's not free and needs to work overtime.
so we did conclude, if we were to say i'm tired... she'll take it as you're lazy to pick her up etc etc etc. at that moment, we just couldn't give that little love and understanding.
sometimes, expectations becomes a habit. and till the day when you gotta really lose that habit, your expectations became your desperation of wanting that habit back.
when we were all young and innocent, we know what we want. yet, as we grew older we forgot what we want.
sometimes, we do not have time to lose. we'll never know what's gonna happen the very next day if we never know how to cherish the one we love.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
anyway, i was informed by C that L had shown mindef lady on the episode i filmed. the comment given was, i was really good looking. =.=
i wonder if it's aunty who said that, because it's usually the aunties who comment about me.
i think the video gonna be up soon? till then, i guess i'll be expecting many critizism...
somehow these few days, few or rather 2 women happen to "su ku" to me.
C was telling me over the phone how selfish she probably feel her boy is, probably to a point where the man say, he couldn't breathe. yet, she ain't restricting him from doing anything. i pondered about mine then...
"he didn't understand what love is", it's about compromising & accomodating.
so i thought about dates which i had, which probably mid-way... snapped and we got to leave the restaurant for some other purposes.
so she talks about her little family issues and linking to why can't the man understand.
man are no doubt childish to a certain extend in r/s. it's dependent on what ways and how. some may feel comfortable, doing a little childish things to probably make the r/s fun and doing this in inappropriate times probably irritates the women. some men can be childish as bringing up petty issues and quarrels.
let's not be sexist and take what a man should do or what a women should do. because, whatever that's done should be coming naturally from the heart. no expectations. we're all humans ain't we?
we have mood swings and that's what a r/s is for, to be there for one another. have you ever feel when you're single and when you have a mood swing, all that you could probably be moody towards to, is just yourself?
had a chat with a NSmen who's 27. heard stories about his life. so talking about his r/s... he was dumped and patched when he was serving his NS. no doubt was the lady who cheated though. he loses faith in r/s, thereafter going one after another. currently he has one for 3 years.
out of curiosity, i ask... have you ever been honest about your past?
he said, "no".
for the past 3 years, there wasn't any honesty. yet he said he regretted going on with so many flings just for the feeling of company. and he told me, sometimes your maturity comes later. and sometimes after sometime in life, then you start to regret some of the decisions you actually made.
i realized, sometimes i think too far. yet, probably some people don't.
sometimes i wonder, in your life, you're faced with putting on a mask daily. yet, when supposedly love is what you think about is innocent, you're actually blinded by the lies that lie behind.
so from the conversation, i made an observation in comparison to mine, or rather perhaps it's an common case...
your girl just finished her lessons, she expects you to pick her up.
he said he was tired, so he didn't say he was tired. he said that he's not free and needs to work overtime.
so we did conclude, if we were to say i'm tired... she'll take it as you're lazy to pick her up etc etc etc. at that moment, we just couldn't give that little love and understanding.
sometimes, expectations becomes a habit. and till the day when you gotta really lose that habit, your expectations became your desperation of wanting that habit back.
when we were all young and innocent, we know what we want. yet, as we grew older we forgot what we want.
sometimes, we do not have time to lose. we'll never know what's gonna happen the very next day if we never know how to cherish the one we love.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
anyway, i was informed by C that L had shown mindef lady on the episode i filmed. the comment given was, i was really good looking. =.=
i wonder if it's aunty who said that, because it's usually the aunties who comment about me.
i think the video gonna be up soon? till then, i guess i'll be expecting many critizism...
Sunday, February 28, 2010
hot summer days.
we've complicate love ourselves?
we did, making rounds, making turns.
reality sets in over time and we forgot about the simplicity of hugs, kisses and love; someone whom you could connect with.
he wants simple, she wants simple. yet, we think in complexity in a different frequency.
sometimes, we're all waiting for the TIME.
sometimes, we do not know when the deadline will come.
OPPOSITE SEX.
thinking, words are always on a contradictory.
mind and heart ain't connecting. the sexes ain't connecting as well.
however, love isn't perfect. it's hurtful, it's everything you've got to risk.
it's cracked up into pieces, but yet you can always piece it back without realizing it.
today, what's with us?
i could decipher, i could guide others fairly well.
yet, i couldn't get mine right.
we've complicate love ourselves?
we did, making rounds, making turns.
reality sets in over time and we forgot about the simplicity of hugs, kisses and love; someone whom you could connect with.
he wants simple, she wants simple. yet, we think in complexity in a different frequency.
sometimes, we're all waiting for the TIME.
sometimes, we do not know when the deadline will come.
OPPOSITE SEX.
thinking, words are always on a contradictory.
mind and heart ain't connecting. the sexes ain't connecting as well.
however, love isn't perfect. it's hurtful, it's everything you've got to risk.
it's cracked up into pieces, but yet you can always piece it back without realizing it.
today, what's with us?
i could decipher, i could guide others fairly well.
yet, i couldn't get mine right.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
简单
finished "海派甜心".
其实爱可以很简单. 不是吗?
或许, 现实上是个不可能的梦.
anyway, i do not why i'm into drama recently. especially i didn't expect myself to watch 海派甜心 after 下一站, 幸福.
in the 1st place, i didn't like the image of Luo Zhi Xiang and the act cute Yang Chen Ling and the so called Taiwan idol drama. perhaps, out of curiosity... like why so many people are into the show？
then i realized, it's actually quite good.
the start was funny, subsequently there were quite a no. of touching scene at the back. short & sweet, total of 14 episode.
下一站, 幸福 not much like a common Taiwan idol series. many emotional scene, many good sentences to ponder about... but maybe a little draggy. and if you probably "chiong" one shot, you can get ready a few tissue box.
now became one of those whose addicted to the song "雨爱".
=.=
and every story has it's meaning.. i mean i do not know how to pen it all down at one shot about how i feel towards certain things which i've watched. perhaps when i come across again, then some cross referencing.
finished "海派甜心".
其实爱可以很简单. 不是吗?
或许, 现实上是个不可能的梦.
anyway, i do not why i'm into drama recently. especially i didn't expect myself to watch 海派甜心 after 下一站, 幸福.
in the 1st place, i didn't like the image of Luo Zhi Xiang and the act cute Yang Chen Ling and the so called Taiwan idol drama. perhaps, out of curiosity... like why so many people are into the show？
then i realized, it's actually quite good.
the start was funny, subsequently there were quite a no. of touching scene at the back. short & sweet, total of 14 episode.
下一站, 幸福 not much like a common Taiwan idol series. many emotional scene, many good sentences to ponder about... but maybe a little draggy. and if you probably "chiong" one shot, you can get ready a few tissue box.
now became one of those whose addicted to the song "雨爱".
=.=
and every story has it's meaning.. i mean i do not know how to pen it all down at one shot about how i feel towards certain things which i've watched. perhaps when i come across again, then some cross referencing.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
suppressed uncertainties
no doubt, it was all the jealousy.
no doubt, it was all the disappointments.
leading to mistrust, fear.
bursted.
i was just being myself.
if every woman needs to be respected, then...
every man has their pride.
baby, sorry.
当你爱一个人
你会担心
你会在乎
你会关心
你会因为他而烦
你会因为他而生气
你会因为他而伤心
只有他.
superb tired today. x.X
no doubt, it was all the jealousy.
no doubt, it was all the disappointments.
leading to mistrust, fear.
bursted.
i was just being myself.
if every woman needs to be respected, then...
every man has their pride.
baby, sorry.
当你爱一个人
你会担心
你会在乎
你会关心
你会因为他而烦
你会因为他而生气
你会因为他而伤心
只有他.
superb tired today. x.X
Sunday, February 21, 2010
担心
mid way of "海派甜心". not bad, it's funny and a little touching. still, i think "下一站, 幸福" is better.
one of the episode got me recall the time when i was really worried, i kept calling but no one picked up. ended up, she was hospitalized due to accident. as i watch, i laughed to myself...
had some conversation with P. i guess i've became a r/s consultant.
many a times, as time pass by, we forgot how or what make us admire and appreciate our spouse very well. no doubt, the love hormones are kicking in place, and when you hit the sweetest part of your r/s, that's where the hormones are drained concurrently as well. when it ended or when you feel like ending it, you probably couldn't understand why you feel that way.
overtime, flaws get magnified and something which you probably start to feel irritated by. as said, everyone has to understand the evolution of a r/s, stagnancy is a natural process which you need to accept, and it requires consistent effort.
each r/s when you end, somehow or another you feel the regrets later and probably out of guilt for the promises which you once made and failed to fulfill. it's something which you probably can't hide.
a long term r/s is sth a couple should be proud of, because it's love through time.
yet, somehow i do not how to untie mine.
as i observe and listen,
其实初恋是最珍贵的. 因为他的开始是当我们的心最纯真的时刻. 尤其是他教了你如何去爱一个人.
有很多人往往进入了下一段感情的时候, 往往还是忘不了. 而选择了离开, 到了最后还是后了悔.
我爱听你对我唱着歌的声音
我爱在焰火下与你相吻的瞬间
我爱你与我吃最爱口味冰欺凌的感觉
当你每晚入眠时, 想起的会是他
当你一睡醒时, 想念在你床边的人会是他
在白天的时候偶尔也会想起.. 他.
其实一切都因为爱还存在...
mid way of "海派甜心". not bad, it's funny and a little touching. still, i think "下一站, 幸福" is better.
one of the episode got me recall the time when i was really worried, i kept calling but no one picked up. ended up, she was hospitalized due to accident. as i watch, i laughed to myself...
had some conversation with P. i guess i've became a r/s consultant.
many a times, as time pass by, we forgot how or what make us admire and appreciate our spouse very well. no doubt, the love hormones are kicking in place, and when you hit the sweetest part of your r/s, that's where the hormones are drained concurrently as well. when it ended or when you feel like ending it, you probably couldn't understand why you feel that way.
overtime, flaws get magnified and something which you probably start to feel irritated by. as said, everyone has to understand the evolution of a r/s, stagnancy is a natural process which you need to accept, and it requires consistent effort.
each r/s when you end, somehow or another you feel the regrets later and probably out of guilt for the promises which you once made and failed to fulfill. it's something which you probably can't hide.
a long term r/s is sth a couple should be proud of, because it's love through time.
yet, somehow i do not how to untie mine.
as i observe and listen,
其实初恋是最珍贵的. 因为他的开始是当我们的心最纯真的时刻. 尤其是他教了你如何去爱一个人.
有很多人往往进入了下一段感情的时候, 往往还是忘不了. 而选择了离开, 到了最后还是后了悔.
我爱听你对我唱着歌的声音
我爱在焰火下与你相吻的瞬间
我爱你与我吃最爱口味冰欺凌的感觉
当你每晚入眠时, 想起的会是他
当你一睡醒时, 想念在你床边的人会是他
在白天的时候偶尔也会想起.. 他.
其实一切都因为爱还存在...
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
busy.
cny has been pretty packed up this year. had been the "duty driver" for my family the past few days, rushing from places to places. it's indeed very tiring. each day i'm home abt 3-4am, and waking up at 9 plus 10, dozing off at relative's place from time to time.
cny brief.
rental was made the very last min. and shockingly, i got a manual car. i cursed and swear to my buddy, because it was so last minute then i knew that it was manual. nevertheless, i've got to make do with it and adapt to changes.
the start got my palms all sweaty. engine got stalled at traffic lights like 2-3 times, reverse gear can't be pulled in because there's this gear 6, and you got to lift up the safety catch to go into reverse. all these happened on my way home.
so i practiced a few rounds down my block and get myself familiarize. later in the evening after reunion dinner, sent grandpa and aunty home successfully without any issues.
now i'm HOOKED to driving manual if i'm NOT tired & NO jams. it's NOT fun holding to half clutch during jams.
anyway had quite a bit of black jack fun at JK's house on CNY 1st day, all the way at CCK till late. i had like 5-6x blackjack. i was even interviewed by JK's mum and aunties. =.=... like they seriously need a son-in-law or sth. they even questioned JK why never introduce me to her sister who's like 22 going 23. n yea, JK is my man, younger than me, 18/19 i think.
2nd day rushed through the visiting, and some walking with family. therefore celebrate J's bday at K with the rest. played blackjack as well, but lost this time.
3rd day, which is today. had some fun with texas poker and a little blackjack. got me recovered abit. phew. and now, just came back from some chill out. in 4 hrs time, i'll be in for work then. seems like the highlights are gambling.
shagged.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
the fall.
P asked me, if she had a fall how would you response?
i replied, "i would ask how she had her fall? where she injured herself? and how serious is it? after meeting her, i would ask how or take a look at how it was, help her rub, or give a kiss on her wounds."
she replied, "i got nothing out of all these. only dots from his text message. and he took sometime to actually ask me how it was after the dots"
she told me she felt very disappointed.
and i wonder if i can been too caring? O.o
and so i told her, don't compare me to your partner. i mean, if you compare, all you face would all be disappointments. so why disappoint yourself?
i mean if you love somebody, you would lover his/her everything. actually, it's irregardless of how he/she treats you.
and on his part, he's probably looking at his wild cards. does this mean this r/s is facing a danger? probably since it has been 2-3 years. passion seems to be diminishing. and yeah, a guy could probably love a lady for 3-4 years at max.
what happens if he still loves you after that time frame? does that exceed the meaning of true love?
it seems like it's always the case where, the more you love, the more he/she will leave. the harder he/she is able to get, the more you love. when you got ditched, you probably dying to have him/her back. when the dying part stops, then probably out of the blue, he/she wants you back.
don't judge how much you can love somebody. the amt of love holds no boundaries. don't weigh love with reality, you'll never be able to feel it. love can't be kept consistent, amt is undefined at everyday, every part of your life.
it's just about, as long as you still love him/her and you hope to have him/her in you life , walking the journey isn't it?
why complicate the word L-O-V-E?
i don't know what's holding me back.
maybe, i'm afraid.
cny has been pretty packed up this year. had been the "duty driver" for my family the past few days, rushing from places to places. it's indeed very tiring. each day i'm home abt 3-4am, and waking up at 9 plus 10, dozing off at relative's place from time to time.
cny brief.
rental was made the very last min. and shockingly, i got a manual car. i cursed and swear to my buddy, because it was so last minute then i knew that it was manual. nevertheless, i've got to make do with it and adapt to changes.
the start got my palms all sweaty. engine got stalled at traffic lights like 2-3 times, reverse gear can't be pulled in because there's this gear 6, and you got to lift up the safety catch to go into reverse. all these happened on my way home.
so i practiced a few rounds down my block and get myself familiarize. later in the evening after reunion dinner, sent grandpa and aunty home successfully without any issues.
now i'm HOOKED to driving manual if i'm NOT tired & NO jams. it's NOT fun holding to half clutch during jams.
anyway had quite a bit of black jack fun at JK's house on CNY 1st day, all the way at CCK till late. i had like 5-6x blackjack. i was even interviewed by JK's mum and aunties. =.=... like they seriously need a son-in-law or sth. they even questioned JK why never introduce me to her sister who's like 22 going 23. n yea, JK is my man, younger than me, 18/19 i think.
2nd day rushed through the visiting, and some walking with family. therefore celebrate J's bday at K with the rest. played blackjack as well, but lost this time.
3rd day, which is today. had some fun with texas poker and a little blackjack. got me recovered abit. phew. and now, just came back from some chill out. in 4 hrs time, i'll be in for work then. seems like the highlights are gambling.
shagged.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
the fall.
P asked me, if she had a fall how would you response?
i replied, "i would ask how she had her fall? where she injured herself? and how serious is it? after meeting her, i would ask how or take a look at how it was, help her rub, or give a kiss on her wounds."
she replied, "i got nothing out of all these. only dots from his text message. and he took sometime to actually ask me how it was after the dots"
she told me she felt very disappointed.
and i wonder if i can been too caring? O.o
and so i told her, don't compare me to your partner. i mean, if you compare, all you face would all be disappointments. so why disappoint yourself?
i mean if you love somebody, you would lover his/her everything. actually, it's irregardless of how he/she treats you.
and on his part, he's probably looking at his wild cards. does this mean this r/s is facing a danger? probably since it has been 2-3 years. passion seems to be diminishing. and yeah, a guy could probably love a lady for 3-4 years at max.
what happens if he still loves you after that time frame? does that exceed the meaning of true love?
it seems like it's always the case where, the more you love, the more he/she will leave. the harder he/she is able to get, the more you love. when you got ditched, you probably dying to have him/her back. when the dying part stops, then probably out of the blue, he/she wants you back.
don't judge how much you can love somebody. the amt of love holds no boundaries. don't weigh love with reality, you'll never be able to feel it. love can't be kept consistent, amt is undefined at everyday, every part of your life.
it's just about, as long as you still love him/her and you hope to have him/her in you life , walking the journey isn't it?
why complicate the word L-O-V-E?
i don't know what's holding me back.
maybe, i'm afraid.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
contradictions vs fire/ appreciation.
sometimes, women are seriously very contradicting as of i observe verses some personal past experiences.
as a guy...
when you plan, they may find that everything is pre-planned.
when you don't plan, they find you not putting any effort, boring, no longer interested, and probably tired of the r/s as they assume.
when you didn't say she changed..
she said: you say i've changed what..
in the first place, they probably tell you "i'm already gone", doesn't that imply that the old you, or the one you knew has gone?
end up, i probably have to say something understanding, to feel for her... "i know you didn't, you're hurt, you're disappointed, you didn't meant to say anything as such.." and they probably start sobbing.
of course, i mean it, and not just trying to make her feel better by lying.
sometimes... man just keep guessing, guessing.
perhaps, we no longer could feel those feelings we could where someone could make our blood rush when we see him/her. probably because our hormones has changed as we grow older.
probably we're no longer seeing love, because we're weighing so much of reality (family, financially, status, values etc etc) with love.
so how can true love be felt?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
appreciation.
i'm not flirting. and i didn't.
so C said i'm damn funny. i don't know if she does mean it, but she say she do.
and i don't know how i did manage to make her kept saying i'm damn funny.
maybe i sounded stupid? =X
so as i replied,
i thought i was a boring guy since the day she probably chose to leave.
so yeah, she said i wasn't. and she never thought of me as an uninteresting guy.
so as i mention a little about the past,
i'm claimed to be sweet.
i thought i probably didn't put enough effort through the years.
after some conversing, she said i could still remember so clearly.
of course, everything is as still vivid.
i guess i've done enough, with a sincere heart through the years.
no matter how busy i was, i always manage to fork out time to do the many things i could.
be it sending french toast, be it washing the whole car all by myself, be it tidying the drawers or cupboards, surprise flowers/chocolates, the TLC i gave when it comes to being sick, the dedication of song when a liveband is performing, be it the many help i could give to the family or the one i truly love, be it the many sweet things i could have done with my heart or think of at that point of time (of course i'm better filled with even more ideas now). and it was despite work which starts as early as in the early morning like 7am to school, doing these in the noon or in between hours before going for tuition sessions.
at the end, this r/s is considered as not worth to stick to, as claimed by others. or actually, "there are many better guys out there".
yeah, i'm not any one of the better ones. perhaps, i've never been good enough.
probably even lazy as insulted before.
isn't it?
sometimes i seriously do feel i did enough.
i've tried hard enough to be an all rounder, doing whatever i could.
carry on recalling the things you felt i've not done. or even hide.
no one is perfect, but i've always tried to be.
i may not have the wealth, but a heart.
i know you have too, hence...
that's why i love you.
but
i don't deserve this.
sometimes, women are seriously very contradicting as of i observe verses some personal past experiences.
as a guy...
when you plan, they may find that everything is pre-planned.
when you don't plan, they find you not putting any effort, boring, no longer interested, and probably tired of the r/s as they assume.
when you didn't say she changed..
she said: you say i've changed what..
in the first place, they probably tell you "i'm already gone", doesn't that imply that the old you, or the one you knew has gone?
end up, i probably have to say something understanding, to feel for her... "i know you didn't, you're hurt, you're disappointed, you didn't meant to say anything as such.." and they probably start sobbing.
of course, i mean it, and not just trying to make her feel better by lying.
sometimes... man just keep guessing, guessing.
perhaps, we no longer could feel those feelings we could where someone could make our blood rush when we see him/her. probably because our hormones has changed as we grow older.
probably we're no longer seeing love, because we're weighing so much of reality (family, financially, status, values etc etc) with love.
so how can true love be felt?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
appreciation.
i'm not flirting. and i didn't.
so C said i'm damn funny. i don't know if she does mean it, but she say she do.
and i don't know how i did manage to make her kept saying i'm damn funny.
maybe i sounded stupid? =X
so as i replied,
i thought i was a boring guy since the day she probably chose to leave.
so yeah, she said i wasn't. and she never thought of me as an uninteresting guy.
so as i mention a little about the past,
i'm claimed to be sweet.
i thought i probably didn't put enough effort through the years.
after some conversing, she said i could still remember so clearly.
of course, everything is as still vivid.
i guess i've done enough, with a sincere heart through the years.
no matter how busy i was, i always manage to fork out time to do the many things i could.
be it sending french toast, be it washing the whole car all by myself, be it tidying the drawers or cupboards, surprise flowers/chocolates, the TLC i gave when it comes to being sick, the dedication of song when a liveband is performing, be it the many help i could give to the family or the one i truly love, be it the many sweet things i could have done with my heart or think of at that point of time (of course i'm better filled with even more ideas now). and it was despite work which starts as early as in the early morning like 7am to school, doing these in the noon or in between hours before going for tuition sessions.
at the end, this r/s is considered as not worth to stick to, as claimed by others. or actually, "there are many better guys out there".
yeah, i'm not any one of the better ones. perhaps, i've never been good enough.
probably even lazy as insulted before.
isn't it?
sometimes i seriously do feel i did enough.
i've tried hard enough to be an all rounder, doing whatever i could.
carry on recalling the things you felt i've not done. or even hide.
no one is perfect, but i've always tried to be.
i may not have the wealth, but a heart.
i know you have too, hence...
that's why i love you.
but
i don't deserve this.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
sweet.
thank you L for your appreciation and comment on my previous post.
anyway, lecture was successfully conducted with some sweat at MPH.
fun.
my voice can be loud still, yet the stamina for lasting seem to be lost.
probably i've spoiled it last time.
somehow every work of mine, end up in some teaching/guiding roles be it in school, temp jobs or whatever work i'm dealing with.
probably except when i was previously in MNC aviation co., it somehow utilized the creative part of me and my com skills.
anyway, while i was at starbucks just now, there was a couple celebrating their v'day in advance.
sweet.
initially, i caught a glance of the man opening the present. out of curiosity, i look further in detail (aka KPO), then it was a nicely done up love diary done up by the lady. bet they've been together a couple of years. so every page were filled with lovely photos and short notes.
the lady tear-ed a little. probably felt the effort she put in, and seeing the appreciation from her bf (looking at it in detail).
love can be simple isn't it? simply at starbucks, exchange of gift to celebrate their love, their journey.
love is about each other, it should be irregardless of reality. don't weigh reality with love. then, you're living superficially.
fire can be difficult to keep up if the other party ain't adding any oil.
ultimately, for a r/s to work, both parties has to be ready to commit for a life time.
it's never about being tired, it's never about giving up.
because biologically we're not built to last.
but we can learn through valuing & appreciating.
it's about learning to give and take, learning to celebrate the journey, it's about standing by, be it the good or bad times, being supportive, it's about the care, concern and love you can give despite illness or wealth.
有时候的我是不是太在乎...
反而,望了自己...
thank you L for your appreciation and comment on my previous post.
anyway, lecture was successfully conducted with some sweat at MPH.
fun.
my voice can be loud still, yet the stamina for lasting seem to be lost.
probably i've spoiled it last time.
somehow every work of mine, end up in some teaching/guiding roles be it in school, temp jobs or whatever work i'm dealing with.
probably except when i was previously in MNC aviation co., it somehow utilized the creative part of me and my com skills.
anyway, while i was at starbucks just now, there was a couple celebrating their v'day in advance.
sweet.
initially, i caught a glance of the man opening the present. out of curiosity, i look further in detail (aka KPO), then it was a nicely done up love diary done up by the lady. bet they've been together a couple of years. so every page were filled with lovely photos and short notes.
the lady tear-ed a little. probably felt the effort she put in, and seeing the appreciation from her bf (looking at it in detail).
love can be simple isn't it? simply at starbucks, exchange of gift to celebrate their love, their journey.
love is about each other, it should be irregardless of reality. don't weigh reality with love. then, you're living superficially.
fire can be difficult to keep up if the other party ain't adding any oil.
ultimately, for a r/s to work, both parties has to be ready to commit for a life time.
it's never about being tired, it's never about giving up.
because biologically we're not built to last.
but we can learn through valuing & appreciating.
it's about learning to give and take, learning to celebrate the journey, it's about standing by, be it the good or bad times, being supportive, it's about the care, concern and love you can give despite illness or wealth.
有时候的我是不是太在乎...
反而,望了自己...
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
leaping.
darn. i've got to conduct medical "lecture" tomorrow, as corrected by S while talking to her.
thanks thanks. thank you for being there, giving me support, hearing me.
i really appreciate. =)
just realized i'm conducting for 256 recruits，which is more than my course of 120 people in chem eng.
i was still happily preparing my lesson plan and notes for the 256 of them (mass production) which i think it had never happened before.
kinda get my palms sweaty already at the thought of it.
GODDDDDDDD... so long never do such a thing.
seems like the whole training institute is recognizing me as the senior medic. hopefully, this way, i could get & fight for m,y promotion. my resume will look nicer as well.
recent indent was quite screwed as information wasn't passed down to me.
everyone is begging for my cooperation literally. because i don't accept last minute indent. my man will suffer & me as well... so i don't really like to entertain them.
high key till end of march. x.x
got a no. of personal thanks and appreciation from the instructors/officers today.
feels good.
anyway, got permission that i can whack them at the MPH tomorrow.
anyway, got to hear a bad news about one of my buddy.
sad.
shan't elaborate. but the issue is being unfaithful, not the BGR kind.
sometimes i do wonder if people do value the ones whom they actually had spent most of their time or part of their life with somebody or a family. whereby, he/she could actually standby you, be it the good or bad times together with the family.
or has that been taken for granted?
still looking the that initial rush of "in love" hormones which you would like to feel? if one never understand the evolution of a long term r/s, then i guess every r/s will never seem to work out. then, the love which you probably ended up with, is by chance, timing where it's time to get married, divorce probably happen 20 years later as well.
true love is where when you're so old and wrinkled, you still want to hold her hands.
"living together is like best friends" & only till the last breathe, she is then considered your wife who has walked the journey with you.
true isn't it? because in between, you may just get divorce as well.
no wonder some people have flings and etc.
isn't that a way to cheapen their self proclaim values of love?
yeah, say that i'm conservative.
i'm not liberal.
value & appreciate, time & people.
darn. i've got to conduct medical "lecture" tomorrow, as corrected by S while talking to her.
thanks thanks. thank you for being there, giving me support, hearing me.
i really appreciate. =)
just realized i'm conducting for 256 recruits，which is more than my course of 120 people in chem eng.
i was still happily preparing my lesson plan and notes for the 256 of them (mass production) which i think it had never happened before.
kinda get my palms sweaty already at the thought of it.
GODDDDDDDD... so long never do such a thing.
seems like the whole training institute is recognizing me as the senior medic. hopefully, this way, i could get & fight for m,y promotion. my resume will look nicer as well.
recent indent was quite screwed as information wasn't passed down to me.
everyone is begging for my cooperation literally. because i don't accept last minute indent. my man will suffer & me as well... so i don't really like to entertain them.
high key till end of march. x.x
got a no. of personal thanks and appreciation from the instructors/officers today.
feels good.
anyway, got permission that i can whack them at the MPH tomorrow.
anyway, got to hear a bad news about one of my buddy.
sad.
shan't elaborate. but the issue is being unfaithful, not the BGR kind.
sometimes i do wonder if people do value the ones whom they actually had spent most of their time or part of their life with somebody or a family. whereby, he/she could actually standby you, be it the good or bad times together with the family.
or has that been taken for granted?
still looking the that initial rush of "in love" hormones which you would like to feel? if one never understand the evolution of a long term r/s, then i guess every r/s will never seem to work out. then, the love which you probably ended up with, is by chance, timing where it's time to get married, divorce probably happen 20 years later as well.
true love is where when you're so old and wrinkled, you still want to hold her hands.
"living together is like best friends" & only till the last breathe, she is then considered your wife who has walked the journey with you.
true isn't it? because in between, you may just get divorce as well.
no wonder some people have flings and etc.
isn't that a way to cheapen their self proclaim values of love?
yeah, say that i'm conservative.
i'm not liberal.
value & appreciate, time & people.
Monday, February 08, 2010
surge of anger.
i can't sleep.
hence, i'm here, to vent.
right now, i probably have this feeling of taken for granted.
i know it's not right to think that way, it'll probably be against you.
i shan't elaborate.
recall to your best memories.
so do you weigh love with reality (i.e. financial issues, family etc etc)?
today, you may have everything given to you.
you can be gracious.
but at the start, when you had NOTHING, who was there when you needed someone the most?
who was gracious then?
don't always say like i've done nothing, when you only remember/recall what's not done.
i may not be the best, no doubt i did gave my best in ways i could.
humans are forgetful, are we?
i hate this feeling.
you know?
spare a thought, be fair to me.
at the end of the day, your choice of who you wanna walk with till the end.
someone, somebody, be it health or wealth.
i'm so NOT the one. isn't it?
i'm SOOOO INCAPABLE in taking care of someone, somebody.
you see knife piercing through over and over?
it is.
God, you there?
i can't sleep.
hence, i'm here, to vent.
right now, i probably have this feeling of taken for granted.
i know it's not right to think that way, it'll probably be against you.
i shan't elaborate.
recall to your best memories.
so do you weigh love with reality (i.e. financial issues, family etc etc)?
today, you may have everything given to you.
you can be gracious.
but at the start, when you had NOTHING, who was there when you needed someone the most?
who was gracious then?
don't always say like i've done nothing, when you only remember/recall what's not done.
i may not be the best, no doubt i did gave my best in ways i could.
humans are forgetful, are we?
i hate this feeling.
you know?
spare a thought, be fair to me.
at the end of the day, your choice of who you wanna walk with till the end.
someone, somebody, be it health or wealth.
i'm so NOT the one. isn't it?
i'm SOOOO INCAPABLE in taking care of someone, somebody.
you see knife piercing through over and over?
it is.
God, you there?
Sunday, February 07, 2010
death.
every post seems so long. and i'm just bragging to myself. hah. anyway...
send 2 REC to the A&E. being a nice sgt, i guess i'm being too friendly? but i still wanna draw some line that they are the REC. in fact, 1 of them is older than me, and the other was the same age. but, i didn't disclose mine.
sound sad, but got to know about this story from this REC who's older than me. he is currently attached thou for 3.5 years? and he said this was his 2nd longest r/s. so out of curiosity, i asked him...
"so how long was your longest?"
"4 years."
"what happen?"
"she passed on in a car accident, by a hit and run driver."
sad. how young she was and yet, died just like that. he took 2-3 years to grief the loss of his love.
so it brought me back on 2012 which i watched yesterday again, the second time.
so the couple which divorced, and later the other (women) moved on to getting married to another... yet, when near death love still came back to the ex husband. or rather is it because it has always been there, but it was never realized and taken for granted?
only when crisis is faced, only then you realize that the person who's always there to go through them with you is missing?
sometimes, instead of feeling taken for granted, why not feel appreciated? because actually people do appreciate, but they often do not talk it out? people are too embrassed to voice appreciation? it's just like, "is the cup empty, or half filled?"
yet, again here, am i finding reasons for myself to feel better?
perhaps, i regard it as a conceptual of mind.
if your suspicions or assumptions gave you reasons to be against the person, then there's definitely hypothesis which you can draw out to actually defend that person and make yourself feel better isn't it?
in the first place, it no assumptions or suspicions were made, you wouldn't need to do the latter.
grandma asked me, "will you cry for me if i die oneday?" back then, i didn't know how to answer. but i said sth like i think i will? because you never thought that you would or could imagine the loss of someone. but when that day came, and i cried badly.
i could still remember for that moment, i wanted to run out of the hospital A&E, non-stop. i couldn't, so i hit the wall of the griefing room very hard, pounding it.
she could have been saved. yet, emergency call was made late, paramedic came late as well.
perhaps, this was a reason why i had became a medic.
perhaps, god heard my cries. "how could.. how could..."
now, at least i know i wouldn't let such a thing happen again to my family or my dearest ones, as long as they are within my reach.
i probably will be stunt, but i wouldn't panick. and i would do the necessary as i could, because time is important. panicking doesn't help. and before i ORD, i'll definitely prepare a rescue set at home. at least, an OPA.
i could still remember back then the playful me, when i wanted to break up, she was the one who taught me how could i treat a girl like that.
then, i learnt how to take care of someone, and overtime, learning to respect, letting go of my pride and ego for r/s; for someone, i love.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
anyway, 2 sets of articles i came across on r/s...
"Can you remember those first few months, when separation from her or him was pure torture? Where there were not two bodies but only a single body with four arms and four legs - no separation of thought, emotion or feelings? You and your partner were truly one.
What caused that! It didn't come from thinking or planning. It came from out of the blue. And not only that, it was so strong that it completely floored you. And right away, perhaps you made the mistake of saying the "you" were in love.
"We" are never in love; love just happens. It comes on it's own and when the time is right, it goes away on its own regardless of how we feel about it. By then, however, commitments are made, social and religious mores are mechanically set into motion, and regardless of how restricted we may feel, or dependent, or attached, or all of the other feelings that arise when the initial intense love feeling goes away - we are stuck.
The arrival of the first child usually wipes out any romantic notions, if they hadn't been crunched already. (Please remember that I am talking about the incredible, impossible to maintain feeling of romantic love, not the mature, almost business-like arrangements of a mature relationship based on mutual trust and compassion for the other person, along with the responsibility of raising children). But the romantic love, at least the way it was first felt, will never come back in exactly the same way.
Some people, understanding this, go from partner to partner never making any commitments because they know that the initial rush of a love affair will die quickly. And when it does, they can then go and find another. Of course, the problem is that like mainstreaming heroin, it takes more and more for less and less, and pretty soon the senses become desensitized and romantic love dies for good regardless of how creative we are in attempting to dredge it back up.
Either way - getting involved in a lifetime commitment based on an initial rush of love, or playing love until it is exhausted - we must eventually settle for second best regarding that tremendous, exhilarating feeling of freedom that maybe once in our lifetime we experienced - that feeling called unconditional love where we would sacrifice our lives, maybe even kill for our beloved. It's hard to fathom that in time, that feeling might change to where we want to kill our beloved!
And this now brings us to the point of discussing feelings.
Feelings come and go, just as thoughts and emotions come and go. When we act on a thought, emotion or feeling, we are responsible for all that washes over us because of that reaction. And usually the aftermath of acting on a strong emotion or feeling is tenfold more disturbing than the initial feeling of exuberance - or anger. There is nothing wrong with the feelings; they just happen. it is what we do with them that matters deeply.
Nature's provision of temporary insanity between lovers insures procreation of the species. However, lovers don't understand this, and when that first moment of boredom comes up in their romantic relationship, rather than accept the fact that the love dream is ending, what do lovers do? They plan out their future! This allays the boredom and allows them to pretend that their feelings of love can continue. This is the first step of delusion. This is where thought takes the place of the real, initial feeling of love, and where a huge displacement of reality takes place.
Then, the relationship, if it continues, becomes more or less a dependency in order to fill a void or hole in each other - all justified by social and religious mores. The couple, still dazed from their initial feelings of freedom, which is love, now buy into the whole scenario of social responsibility. And the divorce rate continues at about fifty percent!
Admitting that a mature relationship has nothing to do with romantic love, and everything to do with mutual dependency (taking care of each other's needs), goes a long way in cementing a long term relationship. So the next time you are about to tell your partner that you love them, simply say instead that, "I depend on you to fill a void in myself, therefore I love myself more than you!" Well, it's true isn't it? If you say no, then you might be in a serious state of denial or delusion!
So, what then is the most important thing in a romantic relationship?
The most important thing in a romantic relationship is understanding how our minds and emotions work. Understanding that all things change. And understanding that whatever we do based on feelings, emotions and, yes, even thought, will more often than not eventually come back around to bite us. But how can we live without feelings, emotions and thought?
Living beyond knee-jerk reactions brought on feelings, emotions, and thoughts is possible; it's called living by insight and wisdom.
And these two, insight and wisdom, are the doors to real, never-ending, unconditional love."
"Many women struggle to understand why their last relationship has failed or how to get back on track in their current one. Too many times we just say that we must have picked the wrong person or we just can not get along with anyone. Many women forget that we have the ability with in ourselves to either make a good decision or a bad one. Of course, women want to make the best decisions all the time. Unfortunately this is not always the case. If you really want to understand why you can't make a relationship work or you are committed to making your current one last, you need to give 100% of yourself to the effort of improving your relationships. You need to be willing to look at not your partner but with in your own self to see what you need to work on.
You need to learn to be much disciplined in regards to yourself. Regardless of your hectic day or how well you slept last night you must constantly be aware of the manner in which you're speaking to your partner. This can be the actual words you say, your tone or your pattern of speech. You need to remember that unprovoked harsh or rude speech is never okay and you have no excuse. You need to not let your anger or annoyance at outside situations bleed into your relationship and cause you to unleash on your partner. While is it part of your partner's responsibility to be your friend and sounding board through tough times, they should never be your emotional punching bag.
Your ego must always come in a distant second to the importance of your relationship. Those couples who have long with standing relationships have let their egos completely go. Many women just like to say that they are stubborn, like it or not. Unfortunately most of the time you will have a partner that chooses the latter. Really what they are being is selfish and inflexible which will only lead to a lonely life. This attitude will turn people away and is the cause of a great deal of issues that happen with in relationships.
Being committed to your own growth as a person can only enhance the quality of your relationship you must know yourself before you can let anyone else really know you. This is done through a constant process of questioning, learning and discovering. Not only about relationships but about how to properly communicate with your partner. You need to be able to really tap into what your partner is feeling instead of being so focused on what is going on your own mind. This will lead to a deep respect for each other that will help in those times when you do disagree. It will enable to work out your differences in a calm, controlled way.
Basically to be able to make a relationship last for the long haul you and your partner need to be a team. Teams stick together until the end of the game and always have their eye on the finish line. The masters of relationships know that it is a continuous process and takes constant work."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
if love happen by chance,
then maintaining needs some work.
giving up, isn't a choice nor a decision.
choice of methods in making it work, should be the way.
sometimes, i have my fear.
这幸福的碎片, 有时候我真的还不知道该怎么捡...
会不会有那么一天, 你会再陪我捡...
every post seems so long. and i'm just bragging to myself. hah. anyway...
send 2 REC to the A&E. being a nice sgt, i guess i'm being too friendly? but i still wanna draw some line that they are the REC. in fact, 1 of them is older than me, and the other was the same age. but, i didn't disclose mine.
sound sad, but got to know about this story from this REC who's older than me. he is currently attached thou for 3.5 years? and he said this was his 2nd longest r/s. so out of curiosity, i asked him...
"so how long was your longest?"
"4 years."
"what happen?"
"she passed on in a car accident, by a hit and run driver."
sad. how young she was and yet, died just like that. he took 2-3 years to grief the loss of his love.
so it brought me back on 2012 which i watched yesterday again, the second time.
so the couple which divorced, and later the other (women) moved on to getting married to another... yet, when near death love still came back to the ex husband. or rather is it because it has always been there, but it was never realized and taken for granted?
only when crisis is faced, only then you realize that the person who's always there to go through them with you is missing?
sometimes, instead of feeling taken for granted, why not feel appreciated? because actually people do appreciate, but they often do not talk it out? people are too embrassed to voice appreciation? it's just like, "is the cup empty, or half filled?"
yet, again here, am i finding reasons for myself to feel better?
perhaps, i regard it as a conceptual of mind.
if your suspicions or assumptions gave you reasons to be against the person, then there's definitely hypothesis which you can draw out to actually defend that person and make yourself feel better isn't it?
in the first place, it no assumptions or suspicions were made, you wouldn't need to do the latter.
grandma asked me, "will you cry for me if i die oneday?" back then, i didn't know how to answer. but i said sth like i think i will? because you never thought that you would or could imagine the loss of someone. but when that day came, and i cried badly.
i could still remember for that moment, i wanted to run out of the hospital A&E, non-stop. i couldn't, so i hit the wall of the griefing room very hard, pounding it.
she could have been saved. yet, emergency call was made late, paramedic came late as well.
perhaps, this was a reason why i had became a medic.
perhaps, god heard my cries. "how could.. how could..."
now, at least i know i wouldn't let such a thing happen again to my family or my dearest ones, as long as they are within my reach.
i probably will be stunt, but i wouldn't panick. and i would do the necessary as i could, because time is important. panicking doesn't help. and before i ORD, i'll definitely prepare a rescue set at home. at least, an OPA.
i could still remember back then the playful me, when i wanted to break up, she was the one who taught me how could i treat a girl like that.
then, i learnt how to take care of someone, and overtime, learning to respect, letting go of my pride and ego for r/s; for someone, i love.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
anyway, 2 sets of articles i came across on r/s...
"Can you remember those first few months, when separation from her or him was pure torture? Where there were not two bodies but only a single body with four arms and four legs - no separation of thought, emotion or feelings? You and your partner were truly one.
What caused that! It didn't come from thinking or planning. It came from out of the blue. And not only that, it was so strong that it completely floored you. And right away, perhaps you made the mistake of saying the "you" were in love.
"We" are never in love; love just happens. It comes on it's own and when the time is right, it goes away on its own regardless of how we feel about it. By then, however, commitments are made, social and religious mores are mechanically set into motion, and regardless of how restricted we may feel, or dependent, or attached, or all of the other feelings that arise when the initial intense love feeling goes away - we are stuck.
The arrival of the first child usually wipes out any romantic notions, if they hadn't been crunched already. (Please remember that I am talking about the incredible, impossible to maintain feeling of romantic love, not the mature, almost business-like arrangements of a mature relationship based on mutual trust and compassion for the other person, along with the responsibility of raising children). But the romantic love, at least the way it was first felt, will never come back in exactly the same way.
Some people, understanding this, go from partner to partner never making any commitments because they know that the initial rush of a love affair will die quickly. And when it does, they can then go and find another. Of course, the problem is that like mainstreaming heroin, it takes more and more for less and less, and pretty soon the senses become desensitized and romantic love dies for good regardless of how creative we are in attempting to dredge it back up.
Either way - getting involved in a lifetime commitment based on an initial rush of love, or playing love until it is exhausted - we must eventually settle for second best regarding that tremendous, exhilarating feeling of freedom that maybe once in our lifetime we experienced - that feeling called unconditional love where we would sacrifice our lives, maybe even kill for our beloved. It's hard to fathom that in time, that feeling might change to where we want to kill our beloved!
And this now brings us to the point of discussing feelings.
Feelings come and go, just as thoughts and emotions come and go. When we act on a thought, emotion or feeling, we are responsible for all that washes over us because of that reaction. And usually the aftermath of acting on a strong emotion or feeling is tenfold more disturbing than the initial feeling of exuberance - or anger. There is nothing wrong with the feelings; they just happen. it is what we do with them that matters deeply.
Nature's provision of temporary insanity between lovers insures procreation of the species. However, lovers don't understand this, and when that first moment of boredom comes up in their romantic relationship, rather than accept the fact that the love dream is ending, what do lovers do? They plan out their future! This allays the boredom and allows them to pretend that their feelings of love can continue. This is the first step of delusion. This is where thought takes the place of the real, initial feeling of love, and where a huge displacement of reality takes place.
Then, the relationship, if it continues, becomes more or less a dependency in order to fill a void or hole in each other - all justified by social and religious mores. The couple, still dazed from their initial feelings of freedom, which is love, now buy into the whole scenario of social responsibility. And the divorce rate continues at about fifty percent!
Admitting that a mature relationship has nothing to do with romantic love, and everything to do with mutual dependency (taking care of each other's needs), goes a long way in cementing a long term relationship. So the next time you are about to tell your partner that you love them, simply say instead that, "I depend on you to fill a void in myself, therefore I love myself more than you!" Well, it's true isn't it? If you say no, then you might be in a serious state of denial or delusion!
So, what then is the most important thing in a romantic relationship?
The most important thing in a romantic relationship is understanding how our minds and emotions work. Understanding that all things change. And understanding that whatever we do based on feelings, emotions and, yes, even thought, will more often than not eventually come back around to bite us. But how can we live without feelings, emotions and thought?
Living beyond knee-jerk reactions brought on feelings, emotions, and thoughts is possible; it's called living by insight and wisdom.
And these two, insight and wisdom, are the doors to real, never-ending, unconditional love."
"Many women struggle to understand why their last relationship has failed or how to get back on track in their current one. Too many times we just say that we must have picked the wrong person or we just can not get along with anyone. Many women forget that we have the ability with in ourselves to either make a good decision or a bad one. Of course, women want to make the best decisions all the time. Unfortunately this is not always the case. If you really want to understand why you can't make a relationship work or you are committed to making your current one last, you need to give 100% of yourself to the effort of improving your relationships. You need to be willing to look at not your partner but with in your own self to see what you need to work on.
You need to learn to be much disciplined in regards to yourself. Regardless of your hectic day or how well you slept last night you must constantly be aware of the manner in which you're speaking to your partner. This can be the actual words you say, your tone or your pattern of speech. You need to remember that unprovoked harsh or rude speech is never okay and you have no excuse. You need to not let your anger or annoyance at outside situations bleed into your relationship and cause you to unleash on your partner. While is it part of your partner's responsibility to be your friend and sounding board through tough times, they should never be your emotional punching bag.
Your ego must always come in a distant second to the importance of your relationship. Those couples who have long with standing relationships have let their egos completely go. Many women just like to say that they are stubborn, like it or not. Unfortunately most of the time you will have a partner that chooses the latter. Really what they are being is selfish and inflexible which will only lead to a lonely life. This attitude will turn people away and is the cause of a great deal of issues that happen with in relationships.
Being committed to your own growth as a person can only enhance the quality of your relationship you must know yourself before you can let anyone else really know you. This is done through a constant process of questioning, learning and discovering. Not only about relationships but about how to properly communicate with your partner. You need to be able to really tap into what your partner is feeling instead of being so focused on what is going on your own mind. This will lead to a deep respect for each other that will help in those times when you do disagree. It will enable to work out your differences in a calm, controlled way.
Basically to be able to make a relationship last for the long haul you and your partner need to be a team. Teams stick together until the end of the game and always have their eye on the finish line. The masters of relationships know that it is a continuous process and takes constant work."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
if love happen by chance,
then maintaining needs some work.
giving up, isn't a choice nor a decision.
choice of methods in making it work, should be the way.
sometimes, i have my fear.
这幸福的碎片, 有时候我真的还不知道该怎么捡...
会不会有那么一天, 你会再陪我捡...
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