Today was a long day. 6 hours of non-stop hits (lectures). Haiz. Tired. Sick. Sick of many things that’s around me. Irritated.

I had a sleepless night yesterday. We quarreled before sleep. Cool. Anyway, guess she had a good sleep. She didn’t bother. I don’t know why. Sometimes people can just don’t bother and do what they like. However, when it comes to me, I’ll make sure other’s heart is very best assured. Assurances always give people a sense of comfort and security. I dislike people to worry. Thus, often I would be an obedient boy.

Got back PIPC test result. For a moment, it was lower than expected. I flipped through the pages, 6 marks of careless mistakes. 3 marks for identifying the ions. I did not identify. But rather, I answered the next sentence of the question: “Indicate the charge clearly whenever possible.” I showed all the charge for all the ions. But I didn’t identify them. I wondered what had happen to my eyes at that moment! It was a heart stabbing mistake.

Next, 1 of the MCQ, convert 8709L/min to gallon/hr. converted to gallons but not to per hr. Fuck!

Do not wish to mention the rest. Careless careless careless.

I remember I when I had AM tuition last year, I asked him this question. How to avoid careless mistake? He said, care less. When you care less, you won’t be careless. It’s when you cared too much, it becomes careless. There’s some truth in it though. You still check and care, but don’t be so fussy about gritty gritty things.

I’m still trying to change and to improve my exams habits. It’s very difficult. It’s always my cause of downfall. 平时想的东西太多了, 到了紧要关头时, 就把测验搞砸.

Pissed. Very pissed off by someone. I do not know why. I hate the attitude, the treatment. I feel more like a guardian than a care-giver.

I thought that the bus ride would be a nice talk over. However, I turned out to be a companion once more. I should be a bus driver.

The wait for bus 17 was longer than usual. The ride too. It’s so different when you’re alone and with someone. After I board the bus, I rest my on the cushion. Terribly tired. Some how, I smsed and said what I wanted to say. Anger turned into disappointment and hurt. Lost. Without knowing, tears rolled down. I needed a shoulder, better; a hug.

I broke down. No one to share the pain I feel. Studies stress, peer pressure (cause many are getting good marks in my class), pressure from relationship. I miss my grandma somehow. I wondered if she’s in somewhere more peaceful than I am.

I miss her badly. I had hardly talked to her ever since I started my secondary school life. Regrets. The last time we spent time together was she dyed my hair for me. My dearest grandma, I miss you.