It has been long since I’ve updated. Busy. Busy with school and CCAs. My free time had been spent on playing game, with girlfriend and friends.

A closure to my holidays – not well spent enough. School has started, however I always wanted to be at home. I do not have the feeling to “chiong” again. I’m tired out mentally.

DB has created the stress – mental stress. 5 days a week is a big commitment. Though my attendance has been very bad, there’s stress. Out of 5 trainings, average attendance is 3/5. Sorry. However, each time when it comes to training days, I just do not feel like going. Yet, inside me I felt guilty.

I’m figuring out why and I knew why. It’s tiring to make trips down to Kallang or sometimes during the weekdays, I’ve got to stay in school till so late. After reaching home, sometimes I have to face my mother’s black face. She likes things to be done on time, as she’s a housewife, she want to rest early. She doesn’t like things to be left there and wait for the next round of washing – that goes for my daily clothes. Of course it’s a trouble. I understand.

Anyway, in the previous post as I said, I was pissed. Firstly, due to some money matters between the lectures with our class. The lectures attitude and character. Secondly, was with DB’s CAP – felt that somehow his words should be encouraging and not a discouraging one. Lastly, I’ve forgotten. So, that’s the end of the story.

Weather is cool today. I love it. Few days ago, after coming back from training, i laid on my bed. Tired but yet I couldn’t sleep. Later, I was on the verge of tears. Yea, so again, I thought of my grandma once more. Partly, it’s also maybe beause of mental stress which comes within me.

So today was my bus ride to Tampines Mall with my dearest to meet her parents. Without knowing, while talking to her, I broke down. Of course it’s about my grandma once more. The urge of turning back the time is so terrible.

So I told her this. I dreamt of Grandma last night. She just suddenly appeared in my dream. I walked up to her, I hugged her. It was my first time doing this to her ever since she brought me up since I was a baby till the age to 6.

In my dream, I asked her how she was doing and I told her I really miss her. She smoothed my back, telling me everything’s goanna be alright. I could still remember in my dream, I felt so happy when I saw her. I felt so carefree and motivated to move on further.

Here I am typing these, I couldn’t control my tears. I do not know when time will be enough. But I really miss her. Time just couldn’t turn back. It’s different when death comes unprepared. The person will never be there again to put a full-stop in your life.