这是一本抽屉乏黄的日记.. 让我(们)的歌带你走过岁月..







Friday, February 09, 2007

It was so long since the last time I posted. So much to say, yet I have got no one to turn to. No one. This time, it’s broke up of a 3 years and 11 days relationship. So much of future that we thought about and planned. So many places and path we took. All came to a stop.

You were once sweet. You can go all the way to please me if I was angry for hours. Not now. U get agitated for little thing I do. No matter how inferior or scare I feel, I am still frank, faithful and no lies. This time, you lied.

A rule was made before the start of this relationship. No Lies. It’s simple, honest and truth. Then, there’ll be mutual trust. You knew it was on rocks, yet you still lied. Was it a way to make me listen? Or otherwise, should it be a better approach?

Haven’t I been a good enough boyfriend? Early morning to bring you to Chinese doctor, hopefully to correct your health as much as possible? Cooked for you when you were sick, help you with this and help you with that. Things changed and yet you didn’t notice. You don’t really bother about me a lot. Less care, less concern.

What do I mean? It doesn’t mean “have you taken your lunch”? When I was sick and fever, I companied for walks at shopping malls. You wanted to tried clothes, I disagreed. It wasn't a day for shopping. It was to talk and spend some quality time. To talk and share. However, come now, you say I don’t company you for shopping? Is that really so?

I wanted to taste your pineapple tarts once more… you always say you didn’t have time… is that really so? Then why do time spent with dogs is much more at home? Couldn’t the time be use for making tarts ma? When dogs were young, they needed extra care, I understood and you spent most of the time taking care of them. 6 dogs now, so how much could I expect more from you?

I just need your care and no lies. It is just that simple…

Let’s just split this relationship before and ever since poly life. Let’s think back and compare the treatment you have towards me. Why have I been so unreasonable? I have been all inside. I’m sorry, I couldn’t be any reasonable. I can’t think clearly anymore.

I put down my pride and ego. I understood the fact that a guy having too much of this, can hurt the girl a lot sometimes. I’m happy when you do well now too. Seriously happy. I could fully understand the sharing of joy in a relationship.

You treated it for granted. I put down my pride, you forget to respect it. You hurt it with your sarcasm, your lie and your excuses. If you were sarcastic, shouldn’t you already learn to be when I first knew you? Why only now and recently? Then come to tell me that your family upbringing. Is that an excuse or have you changed? Don’t you find that you’re finding more and more excuses for yourself? I never said all these.

Too close, too used to it. We tend to forget and treated what we have for granted. It has ended. Goodbye my angel. I miss those sweetness you once gave.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

People never learn till the they regret.. I hope all will be fine for you again..

Anonymous said...

you've learnt to know how a relationship works, and thats the greatest enlightenment to it..isnt it so? others break le, but never even learn their goods n bads from it, but you've understand alot from it..sometimes, it may not be a bad decision for you two..if this cause both of you to feel more happy and more comfortable, its sort of time to let go..loving that person doesnt mean that its a must to have her, isnt it? but, when u have a chance to have her, you must cherish her and she must have the heart to cherish the relationship n u..but if she really takes everything for granted, which means she arent really prepared for a real relationship yet..cus what you have put in, she dont really appreciate at all..but if two of you are willing to talk and solve, everything works out easily and nothing is impossible =) its just the matter of time that you need =)

even though i've nvr met u b4 or talk to you b4, but from the way you talk about what happen in ur relationship, i can feel that u're someone with right thinkings towards it..keep it up man! maybe she just isnt ur cup of tea..till the right time has come, jus dont give up, the world is still moving with you..haha =)

overall, i just pass by your blog to take a look=) you may find me busybody or what, but what i've mention above, are all my truthful thoughts towards your this particular post..hope it can really help you =) hmm, but still gotta apologize to you for my sort of trespassing bahavior.. sry =)

anyway, lucks in finding your right girl n everything!
Jiayou X3

tc'
/Peace