A Denial of Deception

A denial of deception. How great this suits the theme of my blog all these while. At that point of time, I remember clearly what happened... I knew deep down inside... However, there was a denial of deception even if a direct question was asked.

Time flies, without knowing some of us are either 20 or turning 20. Life becomes more complicated as we grew older. It's US, ourselves who made it complicated. When we were young, we were all so pure, as we grew older, we're contaminated by the surrounding. Or should I say adults who did not show good enough examples?

I still remember days ago, I shared this part of my memory with PS. Telling her how I was accused and caned innocently during my primary school days. Hence I guess I should share this part of my "shameful" life...

Mischieviously, a group if kids including me went to the hall daily during recess time to play wrestling, jumping on the big mattress which was intended for sports use. To be specific, it was a mattress for you to land safely on after you jump across a bar of a certain height (forgotten the name of the sports). Then feeling thirsty, I went down to the canteen to buy yakult to drink. Without knowing, after I went back i saw my group of friends scolded by the Principal. Feeling scared, I went down and waited for their ordeal to be over. Back at class, my friend called me for an appointment with the Principal, for a rotan session and I was accused for running away. You can't possibly ask me to go back while they are having scolding isn't it? Of course, for the Alex I am now, I would. Luckily, the canning wasn't hard with a magazine tuck inside my pants. Thinking back in the perception of my Principal back then, it's just a action to scare the kids so that they will not do it again.

Feeling ashame, I did not dare to tell my parents. Till I grew older when we had one of those sharing sessions talking about life, I told my parents. It was then, I felt the shame was gone and the stone left my heart. It feels great. From then, I know being honest is the best policy. Don't tell me reality doesn't apply. If everyone are back to the basics, we're actually much less complicated.

From then, I've never lied till now. Not just only my family, it include my girlfriends and for everyone I knew. Closer ones will know more about my life, not so close knows less. Other than that, nothing was fake. I am myself, I speak for myself, I speak what I feel I should. I know the disadvantage of these is that, I may offend some people. However, to think about it for those who treat you seriously will say the truth. Only those who consider you as unworthy, will never dare to say out a single thing.

I remember there was once, I almost broke up due to a lie or rather something which my girlfriend doesn't want me to know and lied. I always believe that being the real you will make either people accept you or not. At least for what happened, I was genuine and never let you down. Hence, never let me down either.

It's amazing how people analysze situations after reading through blogs after blogs or nicks after nicks. Although people always emphasize on the phase " don't assume", they feel that they had not, but actually they had. Back at their mind, they are either suspecting, thinking and sometimes to a point they had actually start to discriminating.

Like what KJ wrote in his blog, I agree with what he said. When you don't see, don't jump to conclusion. Would you like to be accused? I guess YL should understand how I must have felt when he prompt me the other time on the issue. You don't even analysze on the situation nor think about it, you go look for evidence.


Anyway, it's easy to identify if we want to. Just think about who has the closest relation and similarity in the pen ink for that day. Otherwise, the elderly wouldn't have hinted in the admist of speech. Then, it would be obvious. Who has been the criminal/hypocrite, you analysze.

However, I ain't an old man but witness... I remember clearly...

In this case, there's only 2 conclusion I can give. A denial of deception with help of a good package cover OR a forgotten guilt. After all, time has past so long and whoever he was, he COULD have forgotten if he has done it or not. Like what the class see, it was a small matter but the elderly sees it more importantly. Hence, the latter could be a possibility. I don't blame him.