as i read, i understood. every relationship is meant to be, and there'll always be a stage where things happen. be it marriage, or long dating couples. it's natural, from differences in perceptions, emotions, environment and to biochemistry. it explains all the answers i've been looking for.

you don't have to exactly understand the difference (because biologically we're made different), but you need to be aware of the difference, then we can thrive and not trying survive/sustain relationships.

so here are some interesting extracts i picked up from "Why Mars & Venus Collide":

"i remember when this idea became very clear to me about 6 years into my own marriage with my wife, bonnie. after some particularly great lovemaking, i commented, 'this was as good as it was in the beginning.'

her response taught me something important. she said that making love that night was actually better than in the beginning, because, as she explained, 'in the beginning, we didn't really know each other. now you have seen the best of me and the worst of me, and you still adore me. that is real love.' - love is not a fantasy of perfection in which our every need is met, but sharing life together, truly loving relationships make up fabric of fulfilling life. the relentless demands in our lives have to go more, go faster, and do better can distract us from this simple truth.


"though men and women are similiar, when it comes to stress, they are different. with increasing stress, these differences are intensified. instead of facing life's challenges and growing together in love, many couples drift apart to a comfortable but passionless distance, or are ripped apart by feelings of resentment, confusion, and mistrust.."


"once newness of love wears off, familiarity and routine set in. feel-good hormone levels begin to drop, and stress level begin to rise. it is as if love gives us about 3 years pf blissful hormones for free, but after the honeymoon period is over, we have to earn them." - this was later explained with a series of biochemistry which in turn was stresses we face from reality. every relationship eventually, will end up till this date.

as i believe, it is complex. but research has proven WHY.

now then, i'm searching for the root of problems. it's never too late, because i understood.