房祖名: 最动听
昨天晚上我又梦见你
在梦里我看见很美的东西
可能是在睡前想过你
才会梦见你
在梦里
我常常寻寻觅觅寻找着你
是梦而已
在现实里我曾经问过自己是否爱你
还是个游戏
我想要看见你的眼睛
听见你的声音
不管多小声我会用心地听
不管多小声多小声
我也会用心用意在意地听
我想要看见你的眼睛
听见你的声音
不管多小声我会用心地听
不管多小声多小声
因你的声音
在我心
是最为动听
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Interesting Facts.
"Sexual activity produces testosterone in men, but orgasm releases oxytocin. This calming effects of this hormonal cascade why men often roll over and fall asleep afterward. After sex, a man's testosterone level can drop for a while, which is why a man sometimes feels a need for greater distance immediately after sex.
Men and women react opposite ways after sex on account of their hormones. While a woman's elevated oxytocin levels put her cuddle reflex in high drive, the dynamic of rising oxytocin and falling of testosterone often causes a man to withdraw as his hormones return to normal balance. Understanding and accepting that men sometimes retreat after sex, when women feel the most connected, can help avoid bad feelings."
-End-
watched "i love you, beth cooper". Nice one. i've new insights as i watch such shows with a romance in it, better understanding of emotions/perspectives between men and women.
i miss this.. as i watch.. hmm..
"thank you for loving me", as beth said.
night.
"Sexual activity produces testosterone in men, but orgasm releases oxytocin. This calming effects of this hormonal cascade why men often roll over and fall asleep afterward. After sex, a man's testosterone level can drop for a while, which is why a man sometimes feels a need for greater distance immediately after sex.
Men and women react opposite ways after sex on account of their hormones. While a woman's elevated oxytocin levels put her cuddle reflex in high drive, the dynamic of rising oxytocin and falling of testosterone often causes a man to withdraw as his hormones return to normal balance. Understanding and accepting that men sometimes retreat after sex, when women feel the most connected, can help avoid bad feelings."
-End-
watched "i love you, beth cooper". Nice one. i've new insights as i watch such shows with a romance in it, better understanding of emotions/perspectives between men and women.
i miss this.. as i watch.. hmm..
"thank you for loving me", as beth said.
night.
Friday, September 04, 2009
some sharing once again..
man has to understand this concept very well. loving a woman for life and loving someone just as long as your feel-good hormones can last you. aforementioned, every relationship gradually comes to a passionless stage. it's always you stay on because of the time commitment given overtime which you don't wish for it to go to waste, or otherwise staying due to marriage = responsibility.
however, passion needs to be thrive together as a couple. not one sided. while women may be focusing on thriving on the passion (which they are sensitive enough to feel the loss), she may be giving more. for her, giving more just means she is trying. but this isn't what she needs/ wants to do. she is neglecting herself, her needs. her oxytocin levels jus drops over time, and it'll be empty one day. she needs to fill her oxytocin levels herself, knowing what she needs. subsequently, subconciously as she is giving, she gives points to herself and not to the man. however, even if the man is doing sometghing significant which he feels, she may not be able to appreciate/sees it because her oxytocins levels are just to low to make her realise. high oxytocin levels reduce women's stress, only then she's able to appreciate.
as for man, if he doesn't feel appreciated, her testosterone levels just decreases. his energy level just drops as well. simply because he doesn't feel he is making a difference to her life. a man is happy when he knows he is making a difference to her life and she appreciates.
alright, so much so of some concepts between man and women. definitely, certain ways of communicating needs to be learn as well to avoid any form of heated arguments. ultimately, we love, so why fight?
seriously, i am recommending this book to be read by all women and man. it was out in today's newpaper that it had helped in many relationships which fails. then, we'll understand the many things we never do despite so much effort in figuring out, and we suppose we know. actually, we don't. no more guesses.
i'm embracing the differences, and not accomodating to it. without learning to embrace differences, you'll never get to compromise. subconciously, you're just asking yourself to follow the motion of compromising. it's a big difference.
i once loved a girl, but i am now learning to love a woman. this is time when you discover and learn.
ultimately, are you looking for a relationship which has no passion at the end just because you're married? or are you looking for a partner to share your life with? so now i ask myself, to find a suitable partner? does suitability dependant on similiarities? i guess, the larger the differences you have, the more you'll want to dicover from your partner, the more passion you'll create. it all depends on how you work on it. if u love, you'll never fail to try and discover.
some people told me, "if she loves you, she loves you."
some said, "nothing is more beautiful than the first love you really love for. it was when you actually put in everything you have, no reserve."
good night once again.
oh, something exciting happened today. fun fun fun... hah.
i guess i've shared, enough.
man has to understand this concept very well. loving a woman for life and loving someone just as long as your feel-good hormones can last you. aforementioned, every relationship gradually comes to a passionless stage. it's always you stay on because of the time commitment given overtime which you don't wish for it to go to waste, or otherwise staying due to marriage = responsibility.
however, passion needs to be thrive together as a couple. not one sided. while women may be focusing on thriving on the passion (which they are sensitive enough to feel the loss), she may be giving more. for her, giving more just means she is trying. but this isn't what she needs/ wants to do. she is neglecting herself, her needs. her oxytocin levels jus drops over time, and it'll be empty one day. she needs to fill her oxytocin levels herself, knowing what she needs. subsequently, subconciously as she is giving, she gives points to herself and not to the man. however, even if the man is doing sometghing significant which he feels, she may not be able to appreciate/sees it because her oxytocins levels are just to low to make her realise. high oxytocin levels reduce women's stress, only then she's able to appreciate.
as for man, if he doesn't feel appreciated, her testosterone levels just decreases. his energy level just drops as well. simply because he doesn't feel he is making a difference to her life. a man is happy when he knows he is making a difference to her life and she appreciates.
alright, so much so of some concepts between man and women. definitely, certain ways of communicating needs to be learn as well to avoid any form of heated arguments. ultimately, we love, so why fight?
seriously, i am recommending this book to be read by all women and man. it was out in today's newpaper that it had helped in many relationships which fails. then, we'll understand the many things we never do despite so much effort in figuring out, and we suppose we know. actually, we don't. no more guesses.
i'm embracing the differences, and not accomodating to it. without learning to embrace differences, you'll never get to compromise. subconciously, you're just asking yourself to follow the motion of compromising. it's a big difference.
i once loved a girl, but i am now learning to love a woman. this is time when you discover and learn.
ultimately, are you looking for a relationship which has no passion at the end just because you're married? or are you looking for a partner to share your life with? so now i ask myself, to find a suitable partner? does suitability dependant on similiarities? i guess, the larger the differences you have, the more you'll want to dicover from your partner, the more passion you'll create. it all depends on how you work on it. if u love, you'll never fail to try and discover.
some people told me, "if she loves you, she loves you."
some said, "nothing is more beautiful than the first love you really love for. it was when you actually put in everything you have, no reserve."
good night once again.
oh, something exciting happened today. fun fun fun... hah.
i guess i've shared, enough.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
something to share for the day (from the same book)..
"w/o an understanding of this last difference, a women can feel neglected when a man waits to the last minut to plan time with her or when he doesn't anitcipate her needs. if a woman understand this differences, she is no longer resents needing to ask for support, because she realizes that his brain simply doesn't work the way hers does.." - woman brains are designed to anticipate the emotions, sensitivities and needs of others. men, on the other hand, are more acutely aware of their own needs. Since thousands of years, they need this ability to protect themselves in the wild. on the other hand, a woman's kufe insurance was making sure she cared for others.
a woman's biggest challenge is to begin caring for herself as much as she is caring for others.
single Focus on Mars/ Multitasking on Venus
a woman brain has a larger corpus callosum, the bundle of nervs that connects the right and left hemispheres, is 25% smaller in men. This means that men do not connect feelings and thoughts as readily as women do. In real sense, women have superhighways connecting their feelings to speech, while men have back roads with plenty of stop signs. This stronger connection between parts of the brain increases a women's ability to multitask. When she is listening, she is also thinking, remembering, feeling and planning all at the same time.
a man's brain is highly specialized, using a specific part of a single hemisphere to accomplish a task. A woman's brain is more diffuse, using both hemispheres for many tasks. This neurological difference allows men to focus and block out distractions for long periods of time. While women tend to see things ina broader context, from a larger vantage point.
hence, this insight can help a woman not to take it personally when he is at the computer and seems annoyed when asks him a question. It is simple for her to shift gears when interrupted, but it is much more difficult for him.
i'm finishing the book soon. each day i start to understand myself and women more, and as i read i realise the many things that actually did happened over time. How complex can thoughts and emotions be? Only if you care to find out the differences and increase your awareness.
differences create attraction and passion, and we are.
understanding will be tough, just like chemical structures, it's meant to be that way.
we need to know, then to communicate, and to cross the hurdle. otherwise, every relationship will just fail the way it is as time passes, be it before or after marriage.
good night.
"w/o an understanding of this last difference, a women can feel neglected when a man waits to the last minut to plan time with her or when he doesn't anitcipate her needs. if a woman understand this differences, she is no longer resents needing to ask for support, because she realizes that his brain simply doesn't work the way hers does.." - woman brains are designed to anticipate the emotions, sensitivities and needs of others. men, on the other hand, are more acutely aware of their own needs. Since thousands of years, they need this ability to protect themselves in the wild. on the other hand, a woman's kufe insurance was making sure she cared for others.
a woman's biggest challenge is to begin caring for herself as much as she is caring for others.
single Focus on Mars/ Multitasking on Venus
a woman brain has a larger corpus callosum, the bundle of nervs that connects the right and left hemispheres, is 25% smaller in men. This means that men do not connect feelings and thoughts as readily as women do. In real sense, women have superhighways connecting their feelings to speech, while men have back roads with plenty of stop signs. This stronger connection between parts of the brain increases a women's ability to multitask. When she is listening, she is also thinking, remembering, feeling and planning all at the same time.
a man's brain is highly specialized, using a specific part of a single hemisphere to accomplish a task. A woman's brain is more diffuse, using both hemispheres for many tasks. This neurological difference allows men to focus and block out distractions for long periods of time. While women tend to see things ina broader context, from a larger vantage point.
hence, this insight can help a woman not to take it personally when he is at the computer and seems annoyed when asks him a question. It is simple for her to shift gears when interrupted, but it is much more difficult for him.
i'm finishing the book soon. each day i start to understand myself and women more, and as i read i realise the many things that actually did happened over time. How complex can thoughts and emotions be? Only if you care to find out the differences and increase your awareness.
differences create attraction and passion, and we are.
understanding will be tough, just like chemical structures, it's meant to be that way.
we need to know, then to communicate, and to cross the hurdle. otherwise, every relationship will just fail the way it is as time passes, be it before or after marriage.
good night.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
as i read, i understood. every relationship is meant to be, and there'll always be a stage where things happen. be it marriage, or long dating couples. it's natural, from differences in perceptions, emotions, environment and to biochemistry. it explains all the answers i've been looking for.
you don't have to exactly understand the difference (because biologically we're made different), but you need to be aware of the difference, then we can thrive and not trying survive/sustain relationships.
so here are some interesting extracts i picked up from "Why Mars & Venus Collide":
"i remember when this idea became very clear to me about 6 years into my own marriage with my wife, bonnie. after some particularly great lovemaking, i commented, 'this was as good as it was in the beginning.'
her response taught me something important. she said that making love that night was actually better than in the beginning, because, as she explained, 'in the beginning, we didn't really know each other. now you have seen the best of me and the worst of me, and you still adore me. that is real love.' - love is not a fantasy of perfection in which our every need is met, but sharing life together, truly loving relationships make up fabric of fulfilling life. the relentless demands in our lives have to go more, go faster, and do better can distract us from this simple truth.
"though men and women are similiar, when it comes to stress, they are different. with increasing stress, these differences are intensified. instead of facing life's challenges and growing together in love, many couples drift apart to a comfortable but passionless distance, or are ripped apart by feelings of resentment, confusion, and mistrust.."
"once newness of love wears off, familiarity and routine set in. feel-good hormone levels begin to drop, and stress level begin to rise. it is as if love gives us about 3 years pf blissful hormones for free, but after the honeymoon period is over, we have to earn them." - this was later explained with a series of biochemistry which in turn was stresses we face from reality. every relationship eventually, will end up till this date.
as i believe, it is complex. but research has proven WHY.
now then, i'm searching for the root of problems. it's never too late, because i understood.
you don't have to exactly understand the difference (because biologically we're made different), but you need to be aware of the difference, then we can thrive and not trying survive/sustain relationships.
so here are some interesting extracts i picked up from "Why Mars & Venus Collide":
"i remember when this idea became very clear to me about 6 years into my own marriage with my wife, bonnie. after some particularly great lovemaking, i commented, 'this was as good as it was in the beginning.'
her response taught me something important. she said that making love that night was actually better than in the beginning, because, as she explained, 'in the beginning, we didn't really know each other. now you have seen the best of me and the worst of me, and you still adore me. that is real love.' - love is not a fantasy of perfection in which our every need is met, but sharing life together, truly loving relationships make up fabric of fulfilling life. the relentless demands in our lives have to go more, go faster, and do better can distract us from this simple truth.
"though men and women are similiar, when it comes to stress, they are different. with increasing stress, these differences are intensified. instead of facing life's challenges and growing together in love, many couples drift apart to a comfortable but passionless distance, or are ripped apart by feelings of resentment, confusion, and mistrust.."
"once newness of love wears off, familiarity and routine set in. feel-good hormone levels begin to drop, and stress level begin to rise. it is as if love gives us about 3 years pf blissful hormones for free, but after the honeymoon period is over, we have to earn them." - this was later explained with a series of biochemistry which in turn was stresses we face from reality. every relationship eventually, will end up till this date.
as i believe, it is complex. but research has proven WHY.
now then, i'm searching for the root of problems. it's never too late, because i understood.
as i was out today, came across a CD shop which plays this old song.
Martina McBride - My Valentine
If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you
And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine
All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
In my dreams i couldnt love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine
La da da
Da da da da
And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
Cuz all i need
Is you, my valentine
You're all i need
My love, my valentine
Martina McBride - My Valentine
If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you
And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine
All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
In my dreams i couldnt love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine
La da da
Da da da da
And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
Cuz all i need
Is you, my valentine
You're all i need
My love, my valentine
Friday, August 28, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Past
this story was sometime back in my post. find it interesting and i'm reposting this again. my mind has consistently been flash with memories.. so this is how it goes..
The couples knew each other at university. They had romantic courtship. They move on into marriage. However, Joe’s (changed name) marriage ended in about 13 years.
“No more morning kisses, no more sending off her to work, no more quarrels nor fights and no more bedroom wrestle.”
At this moment of time, in the process of reading the article, you may be thinking that Joe had been unfaithful and swayed. However, let’s move on.
Before they got married, they got an agreement list. Whereby each party states the like and dislike of the other. On the lady’s side, she had a long list. However, joe only had one; “I want to grow old with you”. It didn’t turn out to be a lifetime but 13 years.
The happily married couple had 3 children and Joe always have his family day with his family weekly.
He was contracted with diabetes in his twenties. Doctor says he’ll have his honeymoon for the 10 years. There after, his body will start breaking down. They didn’t believe this as one of their uncle or friend if I’m not wrong, live pass 70 even when contracted with diabetes at a very young age.
On this tragic day, his wife couldn’t contact his husband. It was a Sunday. As usual, he cooked breakfast and proceed on to wash and polish his car before the family outing. His wife’s worry was he might have fainted from low sugar levels caused by his diabetes.
Then, police came knocking on the door to seek for identification of body. Her wife’s hope was it wasn’t her husband and it was a mistake. She saw his lifeless body on the ground. Their whole life together flashed in her mind; their moments of intimacy, fights, laughter… everything.
- end -
this story was sometime back in my post. find it interesting and i'm reposting this again. my mind has consistently been flash with memories.. so this is how it goes..
The couples knew each other at university. They had romantic courtship. They move on into marriage. However, Joe’s (changed name) marriage ended in about 13 years.
“No more morning kisses, no more sending off her to work, no more quarrels nor fights and no more bedroom wrestle.”
At this moment of time, in the process of reading the article, you may be thinking that Joe had been unfaithful and swayed. However, let’s move on.
Before they got married, they got an agreement list. Whereby each party states the like and dislike of the other. On the lady’s side, she had a long list. However, joe only had one; “I want to grow old with you”. It didn’t turn out to be a lifetime but 13 years.
The happily married couple had 3 children and Joe always have his family day with his family weekly.
He was contracted with diabetes in his twenties. Doctor says he’ll have his honeymoon for the 10 years. There after, his body will start breaking down. They didn’t believe this as one of their uncle or friend if I’m not wrong, live pass 70 even when contracted with diabetes at a very young age.
On this tragic day, his wife couldn’t contact his husband. It was a Sunday. As usual, he cooked breakfast and proceed on to wash and polish his car before the family outing. His wife’s worry was he might have fainted from low sugar levels caused by his diabetes.
Then, police came knocking on the door to seek for identification of body. Her wife’s hope was it wasn’t her husband and it was a mistake. She saw his lifeless body on the ground. Their whole life together flashed in her mind; their moments of intimacy, fights, laughter… everything.
- end -
Friday, August 21, 2009
dreams.
it has been the 7th day w/o you. i'm starting to sleep abit more, probably i'm really tired out from my swell up eyes which i suffered the past few days. and i've been sleeping abt 5 hrs each day and no more.. still, each night, i woke up in the middle of the night to find myself back to reality w/o you.
as i was in camp yesterday, i had a deja vu for a moment of my life. it was the same feeling as it was in my dreams. i lost you, and i did..
as i was browsing through the pictures and small clips of ours (to reduce my misses), i've probably forgotten the reality of life that i may just lose you one day.. and i did. still, i don't think love has long gone, but i would say - forgotten. sometimes when ideas where assumed and not communicated overtime, we form a deceptive perception from our assumed known subconscious. but subconscious mind isn't known by self; it's unknown.
subconsciously, i maybe moving on. but is my heart moving on?
i believe you do miss me. i believe, you do.. and this is my 1st friday w/o you after a long time.. i miss you.. do you remember the times..?
it has been the 7th day w/o you. i'm starting to sleep abit more, probably i'm really tired out from my swell up eyes which i suffered the past few days. and i've been sleeping abt 5 hrs each day and no more.. still, each night, i woke up in the middle of the night to find myself back to reality w/o you.
as i was in camp yesterday, i had a deja vu for a moment of my life. it was the same feeling as it was in my dreams. i lost you, and i did..
as i was browsing through the pictures and small clips of ours (to reduce my misses), i've probably forgotten the reality of life that i may just lose you one day.. and i did. still, i don't think love has long gone, but i would say - forgotten. sometimes when ideas where assumed and not communicated overtime, we form a deceptive perception from our assumed known subconscious. but subconscious mind isn't known by self; it's unknown.
subconsciously, i maybe moving on. but is my heart moving on?
i believe you do miss me. i believe, you do.. and this is my 1st friday w/o you after a long time.. i miss you.. do you remember the times..?
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Deceptions of mind.
it has been the 6th day without you, and my life just seems to quieten down by alot.. it has also been a long time since I've last blogged. probably there isn't any platform for me to express my thoughts for now.. neither do i wish to affect you in anyway. time seems to pass very slowly, every moment, my mind is all abt you..
i guess at the end of the day, failure lies with the things we've done unknowingly. subconsciously, we've done things which we shouldn't. subconsciously, we assumed and ideas weren't communicated properly overtime. subconsciously, subconsciously... we formed certain perception. And clearly and not subconsciously, i know deep down, the love is still there. It can't be lost completely.. probably the love was forgotten..
there i was, at the wooden chair we sat before.. i turned back, it was the same tree we once took our photos with.. as i stood at the huge rock, looking out at the sea, turning back again, it was the very same coconut where you and i took photos with.. then i realised.. we did miss something unknowingly..
as i cycled through the many paths we took, i remember those times spent. They were our very sweet moments despite the number of years we had been together. And it's probably i've been really busy that we've lost touch of spending quality time..
it has been really a long time and we finally came thus far. I miss those times spent with you, the food we shared (those meals.. don't we..?), and the many things we see as one. Those times where we experience one another's sorrows, and happiness of life was simply unforgettable. We truly feel that for each other.. As u ever gave me one thing, “nothing was more beautiful than the love that has weathered through the storms of life..”
at the end of the day, i still respect whatever you said you've decided. I know what you need, a total freedom. I love you, and so i'm letting you go.. And i know it would probably be good as well.. neither do i wish the story to end the day before marriage.. and so I've got this hope and faith – if we're ever back again, i know the feelings would be back to what it originally was, totally different experience and that we would treasure one another more.. and it would probably be another even longer chapter..
I've faced this very well and surely i'm coping as well as you are. hope to see you soon..
it has been the 6th day without you, and my life just seems to quieten down by alot.. it has also been a long time since I've last blogged. probably there isn't any platform for me to express my thoughts for now.. neither do i wish to affect you in anyway. time seems to pass very slowly, every moment, my mind is all abt you..
i guess at the end of the day, failure lies with the things we've done unknowingly. subconsciously, we've done things which we shouldn't. subconsciously, we assumed and ideas weren't communicated properly overtime. subconsciously, subconsciously... we formed certain perception. And clearly and not subconsciously, i know deep down, the love is still there. It can't be lost completely.. probably the love was forgotten..
there i was, at the wooden chair we sat before.. i turned back, it was the same tree we once took our photos with.. as i stood at the huge rock, looking out at the sea, turning back again, it was the very same coconut where you and i took photos with.. then i realised.. we did miss something unknowingly..
as i cycled through the many paths we took, i remember those times spent. They were our very sweet moments despite the number of years we had been together. And it's probably i've been really busy that we've lost touch of spending quality time..
it has been really a long time and we finally came thus far. I miss those times spent with you, the food we shared (those meals.. don't we..?), and the many things we see as one. Those times where we experience one another's sorrows, and happiness of life was simply unforgettable. We truly feel that for each other.. As u ever gave me one thing, “nothing was more beautiful than the love that has weathered through the storms of life..”
at the end of the day, i still respect whatever you said you've decided. I know what you need, a total freedom. I love you, and so i'm letting you go.. And i know it would probably be good as well.. neither do i wish the story to end the day before marriage.. and so I've got this hope and faith – if we're ever back again, i know the feelings would be back to what it originally was, totally different experience and that we would treasure one another more.. and it would probably be another even longer chapter..
I've faced this very well and surely i'm coping as well as you are. hope to see you soon..
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Life Update.
Life has been busy. 1 month of rest goes to Taiwan, Taipei and HongKong. All the fun and joy. Currently working in GoodRich, good to be rich; an aviation manufacturing industry. It's probably the next in thing. However, I'm in the Human Resource department. Burning hours of my life slacking for money. Some weeks busy, some weeks slack like shit.
Working full-time plus tuition will make me rich for the next few months. All goes to the saving for the future. Anticipating Army too, I mean I can't wait to ORD. LOL. Not yet start but anticipating ORD.
Life's busy busy. Maximising each day and each week end. Time will fly and we're all working for the sake of future and money.
If I'm dying one day, God please allow me to know in advance. I'll do better things.
The Bucket List is a good movie. With inspirations for life. If you have the time, go download it.
More talk cocks the next time. Rest time for me.
Life has been busy. 1 month of rest goes to Taiwan, Taipei and HongKong. All the fun and joy. Currently working in GoodRich, good to be rich; an aviation manufacturing industry. It's probably the next in thing. However, I'm in the Human Resource department. Burning hours of my life slacking for money. Some weeks busy, some weeks slack like shit.
Working full-time plus tuition will make me rich for the next few months. All goes to the saving for the future. Anticipating Army too, I mean I can't wait to ORD. LOL. Not yet start but anticipating ORD.
Life's busy busy. Maximising each day and each week end. Time will fly and we're all working for the sake of future and money.
If I'm dying one day, God please allow me to know in advance. I'll do better things.
The Bucket List is a good movie. With inspirations for life. If you have the time, go download it.
More talk cocks the next time. Rest time for me.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
The End. A New Stage.
This is a 2 page essay dedicated to AD34...
Now the mood comes, and of course it came after reading the post from KJ. Things need to be clarified. If it’s done face to face, situations will either get worse or the class will bond once again and to a higher level. Like what we learned in CSAS 1, a group will get better after a storm. It’s just a passing stage. However, I guess with different perceptions, grudges are bound to be held in the heart.
I hope that this post will help the class get together, be more understanding towards each other. Let’s not think about whether doing these is worth for this person or don’t. Let’s treat all equally and doing it for the worthiness of class bondage, for friendships, for more friends and not enemies.
Personally, I have too. I have grudges for accusations, for the many things I have not done against various people in the class. I sense the eyes and the talks behind my back. After the 3 years, and after spending some time alone, I would say thanks to AD34. For those who have been acting, you can finally put to a stop. The following said are sincere words and not sarcasm or “fake” words which you guys may regard as…
Thank you AD34 for making my life in polytechnic colorful. We had good times, we had bad times. The problem with us is we just do not dare to face each other and mistrust grew fonder. Of course, the different amount of effort that was put into different projects makes certain people dislike certain people further. Life being colorful isn’t about just the good times. It consists of bad times in which whether a not we have overcome them.
Definitely here are people whom I may wish to mention. However, it’s not fault picking nor like what KJ said, to stir up a war. No offence seriously.
First and foremost, I would like to thank Alistair for being a great buddy for the past 3 years. In many good and bad times, you had been with me. Although sometimes, you’re overly kiasu-er than me, but I understand your desperateness to stay competitive in the cohort. We had shared the mental shag-ness in DB, and you had shared my pain, my happiness by being a great listener and consoler. I thank you and regard you as my best of all friends in my polytechnic years. Thank you for your trust, understanding and whatever help you have given when I needed them.
Here’s the discussion of the class. The class could have been very bonded. However, the key lies on 3 major people in the class. They are considered as influential to certain people, and would lead the unwilling ones to go even.
Of course there are always the anything people and quit spotting. The people who are of course anything are the group of wonderful Malay classmates whom I seriously appreciate, me, Alistair, Ruben and of course SC.
First of all is Wei Ming. You have the persuasive ability to make the girls in the class to attend for anything. As long as u speak. Hence, semester 2.2 class chalet was a success. You voiced your interest and a few of us actually further developed it. Your weakness is by mood. When you’re happy, you can go very well with anyone. You like to choose what you like to do, what you feel is worth or not worth doing. Hence, you’ve brought 2 girls with you in year 3 with other groups of friends in the cohort. The class split as you’ve neglected your form class.
Although I’ve said that you’re the one who forged the attendance for Wang Liang, to a few people. It’s because I saw it and like YL prompted me if I had done. You know no one likes to be accused. However, since you insist that you didn’t. I don’t blame people to think that I am finding fault with you or tries to create a scene. My conscience is clear. And that perhaps in a way, I’ve remember wrongly or you’ve forgotten what you’ve done since it’s actually a small matter to us? I bare no grudges against you and I hope that you don’t too. For any misunderstandings, I here to apologies and I do not wish to make enemies with anyone. Hence, for the rest of the people in the class, let’s put this incident aside.
The second person is Yuan Long. You’re an escapist. You have the ability to bond with 3 guys, namely KJ, SC and WL. You have the ability to persuade them but you chose the path of not opening your heart to more friends. You make friends EASIER with people you sympathize with, feeling that they’re like your situations. Those who make friends easily, you tend to shift from them. You understand people, but you don’t quit get yourself. Perhaps, its past experiences which shaped you that way. You got to open your heart and accept more variety of people in life. It’ll be good.
The third person is silent Jeremy. I do not blame you because your character is anti-social. I’ve known you through internship. It was great understanding you. If you’re spotting with the class, I guess most of the time ZW or Shuan will attend, more people, the merrier.
For many who’re thinking about the incident between me, shahrez and wei lian. It was a problem of friendship and love. I am not playing the 3rd party of course, I’ve got a girlfriend. It’ll still remain as a past and not be revealed to the rest of the class due to the need to respect privacy of others. Thank you Shahrez for letting me learned that hard way. I still and love you as my CB! Good Friend. =). I will not forget the help you gave for my UO2, and allowed me to attain a B+.
For that incident, I also would like to comment something for Peishan (Do not be offended). Do not act blur because sometimes in life when you know there’s no turn back, you need to stand for what’s justified at the back of your mind, for what you’ve see or hear, then things would be easier to handle. At least for this case, I wouldn’t need to try so hard to explain myself. Perhaps you take consequence as finding trouble for yourself, but you may complicate people and situations further. No offence or you can take it no serious matter.
The next person is; Suhua. Do not discriminate people for things they’ve done be it right or wrong, be it known or unknown situations. Let’s learn to forgive and forget, then you don’t have to act. I hope that you do not regard people or be wary of people as “fake”. As learned in sociology, things will be a self-labeled and physiologically, you’ll be affected. You’ll never be able to accept them back. Making more friends is better than making more enemies isn’t it? Then, hope you control your temper and mood bah… otherwise sometimes you may just spoil the relationship with people.
Never forgetting the thanks… Thank you to you Ruben, for trusting and companying me through one of my saddest moment in polytechnic life at CPTC. Thanks. You’ve been a regarded as a great friend I know, the super UP social skills you have. It’s impressive, seriously.
As for Gowri, you may be the toughest person to deal with for my 3 years for various assignments with you. However, you’ve made me learn to deal with more variety of people and you made me stronger team player, and improved my editing skills. Perhaps, your project skills maybe as private limited as my knowledge. Hence, we balanced up. No more grudges but thanks.
Lastly, it will be for Shuan. If less sarcasm and suaning from you, you could have made more true friends rather than activities friends whom you laugh along with. That’s the path you chose though. No blames. I’ve learned to be less serious with those sarcasms/ suans which you have gave. You made me a better survivor. Thanks too. But you owe a apology to Alistair for the RED slippers!
All the best for the future! Once again, thanks (w/love & understanding).
Semester 2.2 Class Chalet
This is a 2 page essay dedicated to AD34...
Now the mood comes, and of course it came after reading the post from KJ. Things need to be clarified. If it’s done face to face, situations will either get worse or the class will bond once again and to a higher level. Like what we learned in CSAS 1, a group will get better after a storm. It’s just a passing stage. However, I guess with different perceptions, grudges are bound to be held in the heart.
I hope that this post will help the class get together, be more understanding towards each other. Let’s not think about whether doing these is worth for this person or don’t. Let’s treat all equally and doing it for the worthiness of class bondage, for friendships, for more friends and not enemies.
Personally, I have too. I have grudges for accusations, for the many things I have not done against various people in the class. I sense the eyes and the talks behind my back. After the 3 years, and after spending some time alone, I would say thanks to AD34. For those who have been acting, you can finally put to a stop. The following said are sincere words and not sarcasm or “fake” words which you guys may regard as…
Thank you AD34 for making my life in polytechnic colorful. We had good times, we had bad times. The problem with us is we just do not dare to face each other and mistrust grew fonder. Of course, the different amount of effort that was put into different projects makes certain people dislike certain people further. Life being colorful isn’t about just the good times. It consists of bad times in which whether a not we have overcome them.
Definitely here are people whom I may wish to mention. However, it’s not fault picking nor like what KJ said, to stir up a war. No offence seriously.
First and foremost, I would like to thank Alistair for being a great buddy for the past 3 years. In many good and bad times, you had been with me. Although sometimes, you’re overly kiasu-er than me, but I understand your desperateness to stay competitive in the cohort. We had shared the mental shag-ness in DB, and you had shared my pain, my happiness by being a great listener and consoler. I thank you and regard you as my best of all friends in my polytechnic years. Thank you for your trust, understanding and whatever help you have given when I needed them.
Here’s the discussion of the class. The class could have been very bonded. However, the key lies on 3 major people in the class. They are considered as influential to certain people, and would lead the unwilling ones to go even.
Of course there are always the anything people and quit spotting. The people who are of course anything are the group of wonderful Malay classmates whom I seriously appreciate, me, Alistair, Ruben and of course SC.
First of all is Wei Ming. You have the persuasive ability to make the girls in the class to attend for anything. As long as u speak. Hence, semester 2.2 class chalet was a success. You voiced your interest and a few of us actually further developed it. Your weakness is by mood. When you’re happy, you can go very well with anyone. You like to choose what you like to do, what you feel is worth or not worth doing. Hence, you’ve brought 2 girls with you in year 3 with other groups of friends in the cohort. The class split as you’ve neglected your form class.
Although I’ve said that you’re the one who forged the attendance for Wang Liang, to a few people. It’s because I saw it and like YL prompted me if I had done. You know no one likes to be accused. However, since you insist that you didn’t. I don’t blame people to think that I am finding fault with you or tries to create a scene. My conscience is clear. And that perhaps in a way, I’ve remember wrongly or you’ve forgotten what you’ve done since it’s actually a small matter to us? I bare no grudges against you and I hope that you don’t too. For any misunderstandings, I here to apologies and I do not wish to make enemies with anyone. Hence, for the rest of the people in the class, let’s put this incident aside.
The second person is Yuan Long. You’re an escapist. You have the ability to bond with 3 guys, namely KJ, SC and WL. You have the ability to persuade them but you chose the path of not opening your heart to more friends. You make friends EASIER with people you sympathize with, feeling that they’re like your situations. Those who make friends easily, you tend to shift from them. You understand people, but you don’t quit get yourself. Perhaps, its past experiences which shaped you that way. You got to open your heart and accept more variety of people in life. It’ll be good.
The third person is silent Jeremy. I do not blame you because your character is anti-social. I’ve known you through internship. It was great understanding you. If you’re spotting with the class, I guess most of the time ZW or Shuan will attend, more people, the merrier.
For many who’re thinking about the incident between me, shahrez and wei lian. It was a problem of friendship and love. I am not playing the 3rd party of course, I’ve got a girlfriend. It’ll still remain as a past and not be revealed to the rest of the class due to the need to respect privacy of others. Thank you Shahrez for letting me learned that hard way. I still and love you as my CB! Good Friend. =). I will not forget the help you gave for my UO2, and allowed me to attain a B+.
For that incident, I also would like to comment something for Peishan (Do not be offended). Do not act blur because sometimes in life when you know there’s no turn back, you need to stand for what’s justified at the back of your mind, for what you’ve see or hear, then things would be easier to handle. At least for this case, I wouldn’t need to try so hard to explain myself. Perhaps you take consequence as finding trouble for yourself, but you may complicate people and situations further. No offence or you can take it no serious matter.
The next person is; Suhua. Do not discriminate people for things they’ve done be it right or wrong, be it known or unknown situations. Let’s learn to forgive and forget, then you don’t have to act. I hope that you do not regard people or be wary of people as “fake”. As learned in sociology, things will be a self-labeled and physiologically, you’ll be affected. You’ll never be able to accept them back. Making more friends is better than making more enemies isn’t it? Then, hope you control your temper and mood bah… otherwise sometimes you may just spoil the relationship with people.
Never forgetting the thanks… Thank you to you Ruben, for trusting and companying me through one of my saddest moment in polytechnic life at CPTC. Thanks. You’ve been a regarded as a great friend I know, the super UP social skills you have. It’s impressive, seriously.
As for Gowri, you may be the toughest person to deal with for my 3 years for various assignments with you. However, you’ve made me learn to deal with more variety of people and you made me stronger team player, and improved my editing skills. Perhaps, your project skills maybe as private limited as my knowledge. Hence, we balanced up. No more grudges but thanks.
Lastly, it will be for Shuan. If less sarcasm and suaning from you, you could have made more true friends rather than activities friends whom you laugh along with. That’s the path you chose though. No blames. I’ve learned to be less serious with those sarcasms/ suans which you have gave. You made me a better survivor. Thanks too. But you owe a apology to Alistair for the RED slippers!
All the best for the future! Once again, thanks (w/love & understanding).
Semester 2.2 Class ChaletShahrez's One Man Show:
Sunday, January 27, 2008
A Denial of Deception
A denial of deception. How great this suits the theme of my blog all these while. At that point of time, I remember clearly what happened... I knew deep down inside... However, there was a denial of deception even if a direct question was asked.
Time flies, without knowing some of us are either 20 or turning 20. Life becomes more complicated as we grew older. It's US, ourselves who made it complicated. When we were young, we were all so pure, as we grew older, we're contaminated by the surrounding. Or should I say adults who did not show good enough examples?
I still remember days ago, I shared this part of my memory with PS. Telling her how I was accused and caned innocently during my primary school days. Hence I guess I should share this part of my "shameful" life...
Mischieviously, a group if kids including me went to the hall daily during recess time to play wrestling, jumping on the big mattress which was intended for sports use. To be specific, it was a mattress for you to land safely on after you jump across a bar of a certain height (forgotten the name of the sports). Then feeling thirsty, I went down to the canteen to buy yakult to drink. Without knowing, after I went back i saw my group of friends scolded by the Principal. Feeling scared, I went down and waited for their ordeal to be over. Back at class, my friend called me for an appointment with the Principal, for a rotan session and I was accused for running away. You can't possibly ask me to go back while they are having scolding isn't it? Of course, for the Alex I am now, I would. Luckily, the canning wasn't hard with a magazine tuck inside my pants. Thinking back in the perception of my Principal back then, it's just a action to scare the kids so that they will not do it again.
Feeling ashame, I did not dare to tell my parents. Till I grew older when we had one of those sharing sessions talking about life, I told my parents. It was then, I felt the shame was gone and the stone left my heart. It feels great. From then, I know being honest is the best policy. Don't tell me reality doesn't apply. If everyone are back to the basics, we're actually much less complicated.
From then, I've never lied till now. Not just only my family, it include my girlfriends and for everyone I knew. Closer ones will know more about my life, not so close knows less. Other than that, nothing was fake. I am myself, I speak for myself, I speak what I feel I should. I know the disadvantage of these is that, I may offend some people. However, to think about it for those who treat you seriously will say the truth. Only those who consider you as unworthy, will never dare to say out a single thing.
I remember there was once, I almost broke up due to a lie or rather something which my girlfriend doesn't want me to know and lied. I always believe that being the real you will make either people accept you or not. At least for what happened, I was genuine and never let you down. Hence, never let me down either.
It's amazing how people analysze situations after reading through blogs after blogs or nicks after nicks. Although people always emphasize on the phase " don't assume", they feel that they had not, but actually they had. Back at their mind, they are either suspecting, thinking and sometimes to a point they had actually start to discriminating.
Like what KJ wrote in his blog, I agree with what he said. When you don't see, don't jump to conclusion. Would you like to be accused? I guess YL should understand how I must have felt when he prompt me the other time on the issue. You don't even analysze on the situation nor think about it, you go look for evidence.
Anyway, it's easy to identify if we want to. Just think about who has the closest relation and similarity in the pen ink for that day. Otherwise, the elderly wouldn't have hinted in the admist of speech. Then, it would be obvious. Who has been the criminal/hypocrite, you analysze.
However, I ain't an old man but witness... I remember clearly...
In this case, there's only 2 conclusion I can give. A denial of deception with help of a good package cover OR a forgotten guilt. After all, time has past so long and whoever he was, he COULD have forgotten if he has done it or not. Like what the class see, it was a small matter but the elderly sees it more importantly. Hence, the latter could be a possibility. I don't blame him.
A denial of deception. How great this suits the theme of my blog all these while. At that point of time, I remember clearly what happened... I knew deep down inside... However, there was a denial of deception even if a direct question was asked.
Time flies, without knowing some of us are either 20 or turning 20. Life becomes more complicated as we grew older. It's US, ourselves who made it complicated. When we were young, we were all so pure, as we grew older, we're contaminated by the surrounding. Or should I say adults who did not show good enough examples?
I still remember days ago, I shared this part of my memory with PS. Telling her how I was accused and caned innocently during my primary school days. Hence I guess I should share this part of my "shameful" life...
Mischieviously, a group if kids including me went to the hall daily during recess time to play wrestling, jumping on the big mattress which was intended for sports use. To be specific, it was a mattress for you to land safely on after you jump across a bar of a certain height (forgotten the name of the sports). Then feeling thirsty, I went down to the canteen to buy yakult to drink. Without knowing, after I went back i saw my group of friends scolded by the Principal. Feeling scared, I went down and waited for their ordeal to be over. Back at class, my friend called me for an appointment with the Principal, for a rotan session and I was accused for running away. You can't possibly ask me to go back while they are having scolding isn't it? Of course, for the Alex I am now, I would. Luckily, the canning wasn't hard with a magazine tuck inside my pants. Thinking back in the perception of my Principal back then, it's just a action to scare the kids so that they will not do it again.
Feeling ashame, I did not dare to tell my parents. Till I grew older when we had one of those sharing sessions talking about life, I told my parents. It was then, I felt the shame was gone and the stone left my heart. It feels great. From then, I know being honest is the best policy. Don't tell me reality doesn't apply. If everyone are back to the basics, we're actually much less complicated.
From then, I've never lied till now. Not just only my family, it include my girlfriends and for everyone I knew. Closer ones will know more about my life, not so close knows less. Other than that, nothing was fake. I am myself, I speak for myself, I speak what I feel I should. I know the disadvantage of these is that, I may offend some people. However, to think about it for those who treat you seriously will say the truth. Only those who consider you as unworthy, will never dare to say out a single thing.
I remember there was once, I almost broke up due to a lie or rather something which my girlfriend doesn't want me to know and lied. I always believe that being the real you will make either people accept you or not. At least for what happened, I was genuine and never let you down. Hence, never let me down either.
It's amazing how people analysze situations after reading through blogs after blogs or nicks after nicks. Although people always emphasize on the phase " don't assume", they feel that they had not, but actually they had. Back at their mind, they are either suspecting, thinking and sometimes to a point they had actually start to discriminating.
Like what KJ wrote in his blog, I agree with what he said. When you don't see, don't jump to conclusion. Would you like to be accused? I guess YL should understand how I must have felt when he prompt me the other time on the issue. You don't even analysze on the situation nor think about it, you go look for evidence.
Anyway, it's easy to identify if we want to. Just think about who has the closest relation and similarity in the pen ink for that day. Otherwise, the elderly wouldn't have hinted in the admist of speech. Then, it would be obvious. Who has been the criminal/hypocrite, you analysze.
However, I ain't an old man but witness... I remember clearly...
In this case, there's only 2 conclusion I can give. A denial of deception with help of a good package cover OR a forgotten guilt. After all, time has past so long and whoever he was, he COULD have forgotten if he has done it or not. Like what the class see, it was a small matter but the elderly sees it more importantly. Hence, the latter could be a possibility. I don't blame him.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
My Life, My Perception.
Somehow, I feel a little emotional. To a point, I remember my blog; to blog, to get my feelings down over my dear e-diary.
Looking over the past months, life seems to past very quickly. I’ve got my license months ago during one of the days in SIP. Life seems to be a little so sick sometimes. Still, I learn every part of it, appreciating every moment of it.
Just like a normal boy, I’ve got to wake up early for work. Sometimes waking up as early 5 plus a.m in the morning during the first few weeks, reaching home as late as 8pm. Though the frequency of such circumstances seems seldom, I often labeled these days as the difficult days where God tries to make things difficult for me. Especially those times when you missed a buy and you got to wait for goddamn 20 minutes and later on squeezing and standing, paying $0.65 for less than 2.4km bus rides.
Flashback on days being a newbie towards taking MRT, I’ve got to squeeze like “shiat” at doors and I remember having a 40 year old aunty face as close as I could see every blemishes she have despite the make-ups she tries to put on. Despite the tiredness which I suffered from traveling, I’ve got nights which I’ve got to entertain friends and girlfriend who is free way back before examinations, hoping to spend some good time with me. Yet, there were quarrels which makes me feeling even lethargic towards tomorrow.
Still and no doubt, comparing the life of luckier others, I ain’t very lucky after all. Rich kids can have cars to drive to work daily for their SIP. Even if SIP is at Jurong or Tuas, life isn’t so difficult after all. At least, they do not have to wait for bus, rush for MRT the moment they see the “arriving in 1 minute” and you got to run up escalators up to the platform. Looking at time every quarterly when reaching the destination, to take note of coming bus, and rush from platform to interchange the moment you alight the MRT. The next thing which I did and not many other do is to rush for the internal shuttle bus in NUS the moment you saw it and uncles do not give a damn sometimes, despite looking at you running after it. Thus, sometimes I gave up hope of waiting and walk up slope, run up slope. These precious times, could save me getting home earlier, having more time for myself.
At this moment I realized problems which I had in relationship. If you think that having a rich girlfriend and most of the time, you could be happy, then you’re wrong. I realized myself being able to taste and caught in between the feeling of being rich and not so rich. Being rich, often than not, you tend to be pampered. However, not necessary spoiled usually, pampered with good food, nice clothing, accessories, car to drive anytime you like. In amidst of enjoyment, we sometimes forgotten our very love ones. No doubt I may forget sometimes. However, every start of my enjoyment of a rich kid, I remember my parents, my family, my friends who ain’t so rich, hoping that they’re around, enjoying life with me.
You may ask, what’s with having car to drive, or rather being pampered? Being able to enjoy good food and personal materials, you forgot what’s bad. You tend to be more money minded, you want to be rich. You can’t stand the fact if your boyfriend says, “What if I can’t afford you to live like what you’re living now?” You’ll question him and tell him why is it that he can’t do it and etc. However, not say he’s not trying. He’s looking for an answer, an answer he seek. A truth - you want bread or do you want love. For love, no matter what lies ahead in the future, we’ll always learn to work out together as one. However, people change and we became more negligent towards feelings, when you’ve the extending privilege to use or do what you can as you grow up. Patience, once a virtue admired, now lost.
If you notice, rich people tend to forget about time. For them, money isn’t a problem. Hence, midnight taxis aren’t a problem to them. They’ll choose to hang out late. They prefer nightlife, and often than not, its more expensive. They tend to be less punctual, and do not keep track of time. They can either get a cab or drive on their own, they rush and later they complained tired and not doing this or that well, because you rush them. Yet, they’ve took the time in the world to bathe, to make up to pack. They can’t seem to pack finish. There’s always things left undone.
Perhaps, being the majority pack in the MRT/buses train the sense of urgency, punctuality and being less forgetful. Why? It all boils down to time. We know if we didn’t do something, we’ll be very very very LATE. If you didn’t prepare the night before, you’ll have to waste some time preparing in the morning, and if you woke up late by a little, everything’s going to slow down, you’ll reach bus stop late, you can’t reach the bus stop before the clock hits the next quarter, you’ll miss at least 3 MRT, you’ll later miss the next bus and so on.
Logical? Virtues are cultivated and not meant to be taken for granted. Especially when your love ones treat you with patience, never forget that they never blasted at you despite mistaken done umpteen times by you. Negligence is not inevitable, it depends on the love you have in heart.
I guess my parents did well in controlling privileges I’m allowed and not allowed. Though these are some complaints about life, I know I’m born into the right family which both my mum and dad give their unconditional love, never neglect any of us.
It was great to taste the making of my mum’s chili combined with my dad’s skills of chili crab and they’re unstoppable weekly marketing for fresh food. I’ll also never stop loving those durians my dad chose. He’s just too skilful. I wonder if I could be as good as him and have a wife as good as my mum persistence in us. Though, there were bad times, after all we still grow and matured into disciplined adults.
I ask myself again… what’s love…?
I hope we can go through hardships… so we’ll learn and grow together…
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Series of UPs & DOWNs.
Somehow life hasn't been so good these days. Seems like this period of my life is a series of downfall and failures. Happenings these weeks...
Sadly, I didn't get the electives I wantg although R actually helped me to register on the day itself. My itchy handness did a re-login and somehow my selection timing was reset. Emailed OSP, LTK, TPN and ZS; but yet I still didn't get my reply. LTK only said that ZS will check and get back to me... Still I'm waiting..
Secondly, I failed my TP. Yes. FAILED. Shock? I'm just bloody 'suay'. For ciruit component, I was perfect. No demerit points. On the way out, I had a bloody motorbike learner coming into the lane which I was about to switch (still in the circuit) and when I was about to check my blindspot and to brake, the Tester did a E brake for me. I knew it's all over. It's immediate failure. Still, he allowed me to go on the road and evaluate me. Over at a junction, it was green light so I go. However, a stupid Nissan Car cut into my lane in the admist of the junction. WTF. Then he switched back as he sees the Chevron marking, resulting in a very intimate situation between cars. Fcuk. I did my brake before the Chevron and waited for opportunity behind the chevron to switch lane. He said that I had slow reaction, gave me 10 demerit points. At least for that, I was a safe driver? What kind of fast reaction can you expect with cars all packed?
Due to driving lessons and etc, now my work just all piled up. So much of analysis and interpretating of results I just learnt from my Senior. Zzz.
Lucky next week Supervisior is taking a few days off as his wife is going to due soon. Hopefully can don't go work when my experiment has to be run for like 1/2 days..
"Life isn't difficult, sometimes it's just not so fair. Life would be better ahead. No matter how tough life is, it just can't be compared to those who are experiencing worst. God is fair; when you have one thing, you lose the other. Contentment is the key to work towards success."
"Setbacks are meant to be set on your back, to allow you to put them on the path you're walking towards to - Success."
I've picked myself up. Thanks Darling.
"Nothing is more beautiful than the Love that has weathered through the storms of Life."
Orh.. Sometimes I feel man are so egoistic. All they cared is their face. If face is important, then I guess character is more important. Humble is seriously a virtue. The more ego you are, the uglier you are, no matter how much you try to save your face. Bring maturity to higher level please? Thanks.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
MY SIP, MY MP.
Alright. Here’s fast update of my life for the past 2 weeks,
First of all, my SIP = MP. Almost everyday when I’ve reached IMRE, I’ll be doing my MP. My SIP is like only during laboratory experiment where I need to carry out experiment for my MP. Sorry for the English though, I’m too tired to type properly. Still got to type report after this.
Working hours has been very flexible. We can go home as early as 10am in the morning if you’ve got to run a experiment for 2 days. The latest I’ve been released was like 3.30pm. Bless? VERY.
Working environment has been very good. Supervisors and people are friendly or otherwise introvert and talk to their apparatus only. It’s a environment I’ve seen very much less of politics. Unlike in TP sometimes, you can always hear people badmouthing who and who. I guess that’s the result of KIASU Singaporeans. It’s when you’re afraid of losing, then you start to ‘suan’ or badmouth? It’s very much of the ego.
For meals, we’ve to take a 5 minutes walk to NUS Business canteen. Meals are very much cheaper than in TP; cheap with large quantity. Tea breaks are provided in IMRE as well; with tea and biscuits served in the break area. The biscuits ain’t those cheapo type nor those very EX lah. Rather, it’s reasonable and nice to enjoy; wafers biscuits and those. 6 in 1 Nescafe Drinks machine are available 24/7; ranging from Teh Tariks, Café Mocha, milo, cappuccino and etc. There are trays which you can make Chinese tea, tea, add as much coffee mate like what Jeremy Tan does.
Basically, I call this part of my life enjoyment. Although the tedious part is the logbooks and reports, I’ve got no complaints. Somehow, MS Word seems rusty to me. It has been sometime since I last use for editing and projects. Zzz.
I’ve also got a new laptop. Darn cool. It’s running at 2GHz Duo Core, 2GB ram, 160 (5400rpm) Sata HDD, Nvidia Gforce grahics card (8400x I think) and DVD writer with lightscribe technology (means that you can print picture on your CD), and 2MP in-built webcam. It also has a remote control to say play your movies and etc, it can also function as a ppt. slide remote..!
It was good specs with good bargain and 7 free gifts worth like $350 plus after calculating free gifts prices. My new 2GB Smart Disk Thumb Drive also look very cool. Hahaha. It was a need to improve conveniency when I need a computer in IMRE. The computers are old and quite screwed up. It is lag and sometimes when you’re doing your MP and after typing a lot, it suddenly restart. Zzz.
I’m Happy but my Dad is broke. Hahaha.
There was a quote I caught on IMRE laboratory door:
If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.
This is seriously a fast entry. Good bye.
Alright. Here’s fast update of my life for the past 2 weeks,
First of all, my SIP = MP. Almost everyday when I’ve reached IMRE, I’ll be doing my MP. My SIP is like only during laboratory experiment where I need to carry out experiment for my MP. Sorry for the English though, I’m too tired to type properly. Still got to type report after this.
Working hours has been very flexible. We can go home as early as 10am in the morning if you’ve got to run a experiment for 2 days. The latest I’ve been released was like 3.30pm. Bless? VERY.
Working environment has been very good. Supervisors and people are friendly or otherwise introvert and talk to their apparatus only. It’s a environment I’ve seen very much less of politics. Unlike in TP sometimes, you can always hear people badmouthing who and who. I guess that’s the result of KIASU Singaporeans. It’s when you’re afraid of losing, then you start to ‘suan’ or badmouth? It’s very much of the ego.
For meals, we’ve to take a 5 minutes walk to NUS Business canteen. Meals are very much cheaper than in TP; cheap with large quantity. Tea breaks are provided in IMRE as well; with tea and biscuits served in the break area. The biscuits ain’t those cheapo type nor those very EX lah. Rather, it’s reasonable and nice to enjoy; wafers biscuits and those. 6 in 1 Nescafe Drinks machine are available 24/7; ranging from Teh Tariks, Café Mocha, milo, cappuccino and etc. There are trays which you can make Chinese tea, tea, add as much coffee mate like what Jeremy Tan does.
Basically, I call this part of my life enjoyment. Although the tedious part is the logbooks and reports, I’ve got no complaints. Somehow, MS Word seems rusty to me. It has been sometime since I last use for editing and projects. Zzz.
I’ve also got a new laptop. Darn cool. It’s running at 2GHz Duo Core, 2GB ram, 160 (5400rpm) Sata HDD, Nvidia Gforce grahics card (8400x I think) and DVD writer with lightscribe technology (means that you can print picture on your CD), and 2MP in-built webcam. It also has a remote control to say play your movies and etc, it can also function as a ppt. slide remote..!
It was good specs with good bargain and 7 free gifts worth like $350 plus after calculating free gifts prices. My new 2GB Smart Disk Thumb Drive also look very cool. Hahaha. It was a need to improve conveniency when I need a computer in IMRE. The computers are old and quite screwed up. It is lag and sometimes when you’re doing your MP and after typing a lot, it suddenly restart. Zzz.
I’m Happy but my Dad is broke. Hahaha.
There was a quote I caught on IMRE laboratory door:
If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.
This is seriously a fast entry. Good bye.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
3 Weeks of Rest & Enjoyment.
These 3 weeks had been a good one. Good rest, good time with people I spent with. Sadly, it’ll be coming to an end. These 2 days I was busy changing the skin of my computer; from XP to Vista alike. I had a great time changing system files but subsequently I found a program Vista Transformation Pack after much researching. It had save me time creating a Login Screen & Boot Screen. I couldn’t copy screen of my Login Screen & Boot Screen. But here’s a preview of my desktop now:
Had a game of basketball with a few of my old friends. Long time no play and hang out. It was all laughter while playing. It was great. We should come out and play more often.
These 3 weeks had been a good one. Good rest, good time with people I spent with. Sadly, it’ll be coming to an end. These 2 days I was busy changing the skin of my computer; from XP to Vista alike. I had a great time changing system files but subsequently I found a program Vista Transformation Pack after much researching. It had save me time creating a Login Screen & Boot Screen. I couldn’t copy screen of my Login Screen & Boot Screen. But here’s a preview of my desktop now:
Cool?
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1st June 2007. BBQ @ The Bayshore.
This BBQ was organize by Aldric, Raymond and Henry; the people with bikes & a van. Cool isn’t it? Seriously thanks for organizing this BBQ. I give my full appreciation. I guess this is simply the best of the best BBQ with wonderful and delicious food. It’s simply great!
There are… Crabs, Prawns, Sotongs, Stingray (plain but fresh, due to lack of time to marinate), sausages, hotdogs, the don’t know what bread which you’ll usually eat with curry (Ciam Tao Lotti) in dialect. I forgot the spelling for the English; toast over the charcoals and applied with garlic, chicken wings - as usual, crab meat, marsh-mellows, watermelons, pumpkins. The seafood simply own the BBQ. Also the sauces, I call mayonnaise, don’t what wine for cooking (not the Chinese style of hua diao jiu) should be the Ang Mo style, chilli sauce and etc.
The next group of stuff which own the BBQ are… Schweppes tonic, Red Bull, Ribena, White wine, Red wine, Gin. And… I was the man of the day! Making the best drink. It’s simple. Just mixed them all. However, always do it with the right quantity, otherwise you’ll end up like Nic/Ken, kind of drunk too fast as he add too much gin. So, here the recipe:
- 10 ml of Gin. Using dilution factor, 40% alcohol to 10ml and top up with others would mean that 1 cup contains about 8% alcohol.
- 2 spoons of white wine. Those plastic spoons use in BBQ will do.
- 1 Spoon of Ribena to add to the color; Reddish Yellow.
- About 15ml to 20ml of Red Bull depending on who sweet you want.
- Add 2 Cube of Ice.
- Add a twist of Green Lemon. Cut a slice.
- Top up with Tonic, fill the cup.
This is an estimation of my recipe. I mixed my drink with estimation of quantity through feelings lah. But trust me, everyone agree that it’s nice..!
Here are some pictures of the nice food we had:
Anyway, thanks again to all. To Henry Tan, I guess all of us will miss you definitely. Meantime, enjoy your work w/o students. Haha.
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2nd June 2007. Basketball.Had a game of basketball with a few of my old friends. Long time no play and hang out. It was all laughter while playing. It was great. We should come out and play more often.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Happy Ending
“The End” of CPTC. It was indeed a memorable one. Great learning opportunities and experience we had. After all, I did not get the “Best Trainee”, sad right? LOL. But it’s ok. Derrick deserves more than I do. He was more hardworking than me. Anyway, Henry revealed during the drinking session, that I was one of the top 3 in the group who got A for this 6 weeks training after tabulation of marks! One of them is Derrick (of course), Xing Wei and Me. Supposedly there was Kelvin too, the 4 of us got high marks for practical but perhaps he didn’t do that well for his paper. Mayb he got a B+ or A- bah? Should have chiong for it lah!!! (if only I knew there was best trainee and I thought there was only overall best) Zzz… And you know what, they didn’t mark all the papers at all! They marked those papers who are eligible for Best Trainee. They would subsequently mark and tabulate the rest of others marks only later. Logically, it’s hard to mark structure questions and tabulate marks within less than 24 hrs right.
It’s ok, over is over. SIP some more only pass/fail. Zzz… Should consider part of gPA lohz… Anyway, after CPTC yesterday, we met up for dinner at Muthu’s Curry with Henry. Though not all turn up, half of the class came. It was still a big enough group after all. It was easy too, all of us were guys, except for 1 lady, S’s girlfriend who both came later. We treated Henry dinner and in amidst of settling the bills, he was really going to treat us this time with his credit card! It cost like $280+++…! In the end, we didn’t lah, it was meant to show gratitude and appreciation towards him.
After that, some left and some carried on to Boat Quay with some drinking session at Brewerkz with Henry's treat this time with 2 towers of beer; 4 litres each. It was the first time, I drank 2 full mug of Beer! 1 at Muthu’s curry, the next at Brewerkz. I don’t really like the idea of Beer… it makes me feel bloated with gases… Bah… Anyway, I still drank. We all crapped a lot the whole night. It was fun. Dearest came to join (initial intention), but cause she left house late and couldn’t get her directions right, she came and help us took photos and drove me and ‘lobang’ Yang Ping, Wang Liang and Kenneth home instead. Poor her; but thanks Honey! Kenneth was damn drunk and talked damn lots… He kept pestering Henry to ride him home. He wanted to ride on Henry’s bike but I guess Henry didn’t want to be responsible for his safety. He was “tarred” (drank 1 shot) by our pressure and Henry’s challenge..! 1st mug slow, and subsequently 3 cups were fast ones. The quote of the night was “Bo Tar, Bo Lam Pa”. Haha. This was so call my first time hanging out with such a large group of guys, and crapping. Cool.
Here are some photos:
It’s ok, over is over. SIP some more only pass/fail. Zzz… Should consider part of gPA lohz… Anyway, after CPTC yesterday, we met up for dinner at Muthu’s Curry with Henry. Though not all turn up, half of the class came. It was still a big enough group after all. It was easy too, all of us were guys, except for 1 lady, S’s girlfriend who both came later. We treated Henry dinner and in amidst of settling the bills, he was really going to treat us this time with his credit card! It cost like $280+++…! In the end, we didn’t lah, it was meant to show gratitude and appreciation towards him.
After that, some left and some carried on to Boat Quay with some drinking session at Brewerkz with Henry's treat this time with 2 towers of beer; 4 litres each. It was the first time, I drank 2 full mug of Beer! 1 at Muthu’s curry, the next at Brewerkz. I don’t really like the idea of Beer… it makes me feel bloated with gases… Bah… Anyway, I still drank. We all crapped a lot the whole night. It was fun. Dearest came to join (initial intention), but cause she left house late and couldn’t get her directions right, she came and help us took photos and drove me and ‘lobang’ Yang Ping, Wang Liang and Kenneth home instead. Poor her; but thanks Honey! Kenneth was damn drunk and talked damn lots… He kept pestering Henry to ride him home. He wanted to ride on Henry’s bike but I guess Henry didn’t want to be responsible for his safety. He was “tarred” (drank 1 shot) by our pressure and Henry’s challenge..! 1st mug slow, and subsequently 3 cups were fast ones. The quote of the night was “Bo Tar, Bo Lam Pa”. Haha. This was so call my first time hanging out with such a large group of guys, and crapping. Cool.
Here are some photos:
Heh~ Cheers...
Yeah!
Anyway, the Institute of Materials Research & Engineering is at NUS. Dr. Jiang Li mentioned that it used to be a joined co-operation with NUS. There’s allowance anyway; perhaps $440 like that. Working hours are office hours, and Friday is half an hour earlier release. Tea break meals will be provided like coffee/ tea with biscuits and etc. It’s available at the pantry, so can OTOT just consume! Cool huh? She also said that 50% are China people as Singaporeans don’t really like research. Zzz. I would also need to attend a 2 and a half day of Environmental Health & Safety (EHS) training before start of SIP. There’s shuttle bus from Clementi MRT station too. However, I hope that we could take NUS shuttle bus which I often see it passing by Safara whenever I go school last time. Hopefully can save as much transport cost as possible sia! Jeremy and the other guy would be shag man. They’ll be doing their MP alone with different professors. For me, I would be working with Nicolas Pang. Hopefully, we can work well and get an A or even Z for it.
Anyway, I think my white hair will be coming out with it SIP starts. My project looks damn chim to understand. It’s so PIA and Organic Chemistry!
Here’s a brief idea from Dr. Xu in his email to Jiang Li:
The students will focus on the development of polyhedral oligomeric silsesquioxane (POSS) and polyethylene glycol (PEG) based materials. POSS has a molecule-sized silica-like cage structure (1-2 nm, depending on the length of the substituents) and can be functionalized with a variety of organic groups. PEG is completely water soluble and is extensively studies with many applications such as drug delivery, batteries and biotechnology. These 2 types of monomers (hydrophobic and hydrophilic) will be incorporated into polymers by probably ATRP method and the properties of polymers will be investigated.
I’m better in Engineering leh. Zzz… Whatever it is, I would be working hard for my MP! Moreover, this is my SIP. So basically, my 5 days = SIP = MP. No labor work and there are many advance technology being used there (this is what I heard from Dr. JiangLi). I’m seriously elated about it. Hopefully, things will turn out well as I foresee. Great thanks to Dr. Jiang Li for giving us this opportunity. I’m seriously lucky this time after missing the opportunity to go Australia due to my driving lessons booked.
Anyway, I think my white hair will be coming out with it SIP starts. My project looks damn chim to understand. It’s so PIA and Organic Chemistry!
Here’s a brief idea from Dr. Xu in his email to Jiang Li:
The students will focus on the development of polyhedral oligomeric silsesquioxane (POSS) and polyethylene glycol (PEG) based materials. POSS has a molecule-sized silica-like cage structure (1-2 nm, depending on the length of the substituents) and can be functionalized with a variety of organic groups. PEG is completely water soluble and is extensively studies with many applications such as drug delivery, batteries and biotechnology. These 2 types of monomers (hydrophobic and hydrophilic) will be incorporated into polymers by probably ATRP method and the properties of polymers will be investigated.
I’m better in Engineering leh. Zzz… Whatever it is, I would be working hard for my MP! Moreover, this is my SIP. So basically, my 5 days = SIP = MP. No labor work and there are many advance technology being used there (this is what I heard from Dr. JiangLi). I’m seriously elated about it. Hopefully, things will turn out well as I foresee. Great thanks to Dr. Jiang Li for giving us this opportunity. I’m seriously lucky this time after missing the opportunity to go Australia due to my driving lessons booked.
God bless me.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
To be or not to be. To feel happy/sad?
6 weeks. “shucks” let me quote from my previous post. Somehow, I feel attached to the people, the fun, the plant (after knowing so much then got to leave) and the routine. Tomorrow would marked “The End” of CPTC training. How should I put it? Lectures is always chatting away, eating, and playing worms on R’s mobile phone. For practical, my intention was to find ways to slack as much as possible. Somehow, that intention of mine wasn’t fulfilled totally. Somehow, somewhat there was this interest to learn after some reflection.
I would say that CPTC had bond the cohort definitely. From acquaintance to friends, we start to know one another better each day. From assumption made, I’ve learnt not to do so. I guess everyone knows about KS scolding the cohort due to some playful acts of others. People start assuming. Hypocritical; 1 shot down labeled. Recently read G’s blog and got to understand the situation. Someone blurt out casually to one of the trainer and hence, there he got his retribution. It was meant to be a joke. Perhaps they feel that the boundary was crossed.
I ain’t saying that I believe what G said in her blog. Let me clarify, there could be this possibility. I observed this time. G during shift work said “bloody hell” jokingly, yet nothing happen. Not once but several times. Our group joke about all sorts of things, we had fun and on the way we learn too. Perhaps, after all it was a misunderstanding. I felt guilty for having suspicion towards H.T character. After all, all trainers are cool. Each of them just had a different way of starting out with students. Some may look stern, but yet friendly. It was only shift work which had let me know them better. “I don’t need anyone to believe”, like what G said. Rather, we shouldn’t have fired the arrow so immediately. We had allowed anger to get over our head.
For happy part of my life, would be that I would probably be attached to NUS, Institute of Material Science & Engineering for my SIP & MP. There’s pay which I heard from KJ (he asked Dr. JL when he actually took the wrong form for his SIP), and perhaps some R&D with china professor. Another happy thing would be that I heard from H.T that me and 3 other guys are highest for practical? Sort of? Then, the final examination would decide which of us will get the Best Trainee Cert. & Testimonial. I hope what he said was the truth and not bluff me sia. LOL. Even if he was lying, I’m still happy about it lah? He sounded serious though and mentioned it in front of a few of my group mates. I guess my chances would be slim ah… If I knew it, I would have study hard for my Mid-Year paper! This EOY most of it was from practical and hence I was quite safe. Still, I lost on theory which I didn’t study! So chances are slim lorz… but still *pray pray* xD.
It’s honorable to get it loh. I remember how I receive my Best Cadet Cert. & plaque in NCC last time. And in Senior Specialist Course, I was just 2nd placing in platoon to get my Best Cadet..! That bird bird CLT was biased as he is TK’s CLT..! I ain’t lying man, this is what I knew from a Mdm CLT (now my friend). When you don’t give people a chance to perform, never call yourself a leader.
Every ending has a new beginning. I just hope what's awaiting ahead of me would lead me to the life I want it to be.
6 weeks. “shucks” let me quote from my previous post. Somehow, I feel attached to the people, the fun, the plant (after knowing so much then got to leave) and the routine. Tomorrow would marked “The End” of CPTC training. How should I put it? Lectures is always chatting away, eating, and playing worms on R’s mobile phone. For practical, my intention was to find ways to slack as much as possible. Somehow, that intention of mine wasn’t fulfilled totally. Somehow, somewhat there was this interest to learn after some reflection.
I would say that CPTC had bond the cohort definitely. From acquaintance to friends, we start to know one another better each day. From assumption made, I’ve learnt not to do so. I guess everyone knows about KS scolding the cohort due to some playful acts of others. People start assuming. Hypocritical; 1 shot down labeled. Recently read G’s blog and got to understand the situation. Someone blurt out casually to one of the trainer and hence, there he got his retribution. It was meant to be a joke. Perhaps they feel that the boundary was crossed.
I ain’t saying that I believe what G said in her blog. Let me clarify, there could be this possibility. I observed this time. G during shift work said “bloody hell” jokingly, yet nothing happen. Not once but several times. Our group joke about all sorts of things, we had fun and on the way we learn too. Perhaps, after all it was a misunderstanding. I felt guilty for having suspicion towards H.T character. After all, all trainers are cool. Each of them just had a different way of starting out with students. Some may look stern, but yet friendly. It was only shift work which had let me know them better. “I don’t need anyone to believe”, like what G said. Rather, we shouldn’t have fired the arrow so immediately. We had allowed anger to get over our head.
For happy part of my life, would be that I would probably be attached to NUS, Institute of Material Science & Engineering for my SIP & MP. There’s pay which I heard from KJ (he asked Dr. JL when he actually took the wrong form for his SIP), and perhaps some R&D with china professor. Another happy thing would be that I heard from H.T that me and 3 other guys are highest for practical? Sort of? Then, the final examination would decide which of us will get the Best Trainee Cert. & Testimonial. I hope what he said was the truth and not bluff me sia. LOL. Even if he was lying, I’m still happy about it lah? He sounded serious though and mentioned it in front of a few of my group mates. I guess my chances would be slim ah… If I knew it, I would have study hard for my Mid-Year paper! This EOY most of it was from practical and hence I was quite safe. Still, I lost on theory which I didn’t study! So chances are slim lorz… but still *pray pray* xD.
It’s honorable to get it loh. I remember how I receive my Best Cadet Cert. & plaque in NCC last time. And in Senior Specialist Course, I was just 2nd placing in platoon to get my Best Cadet..! That bird bird CLT was biased as he is TK’s CLT..! I ain’t lying man, this is what I knew from a Mdm CLT (now my friend). When you don’t give people a chance to perform, never call yourself a leader.
Every ending has a new beginning. I just hope what's awaiting ahead of me would lead me to the life I want it to be.
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