10 Years of Love.
It's definitely sweet to see couples getting married after dating for 10 long years.
Since they were secondary schoolmates, they were there for one another.. be it the good and bad, for 10 long years. Sweet?
It is, definitely.
How beautiful is love when it could be tested through time.
"if you realized no one is there for you one day, remember how deeply i once loved you." interesting quote?
haa, i wonder how many people will realize this.
i will never forget the days when you:-
smile when we washed the car
smile when i am folding stars for you
smile when you were a pillion on my bike
smile when we're simply holding our hands
smile when we walked through the endless roads
smile when we squatted down, sweating, just to get your car painted by marker
it will always be the sweat, we dripped that i'll remember.
they were once so real, so innocent, soo honest.
i just couldn't find that feeling.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
a few more weeks and i'll achieve what i could.
where are you, to share my joy and success?
it has been a long 1 year 3 months.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Sunday, November 07, 2010
fugly world.
it's sad to see how betrayal happens in the night. they got bf, they got gf; so what to them? so, what is the purpose and value of a r/s in the world we're in today?
lies.
nothing or no r/s you have has that great value for you to cherish.
there seems like nothing which you can connect your soul fully to, to trust whole heartedly. for that moment if it seems like a fairytale, then please wake up. they are lies which blinded you at the start.
it's sad to see all the break ups happening over in FB. well, don't be sad. people change, they come and go. no one reminsce anything. they always put the word, "move on" at the top of the mind, at the tip of the mouth.
the world has made us so superfical to the point we no longer understand the word 'cherish' and we all give up easily. the real meaning of a r/s is then lost, over time.
sometimes i wish you will be there like what you use to be, supporting my soul. today, who am i?
it's sad to see how betrayal happens in the night. they got bf, they got gf; so what to them? so, what is the purpose and value of a r/s in the world we're in today?
lies.
nothing or no r/s you have has that great value for you to cherish.
there seems like nothing which you can connect your soul fully to, to trust whole heartedly. for that moment if it seems like a fairytale, then please wake up. they are lies which blinded you at the start.
it's sad to see all the break ups happening over in FB. well, don't be sad. people change, they come and go. no one reminsce anything. they always put the word, "move on" at the top of the mind, at the tip of the mouth.
the world has made us so superfical to the point we no longer understand the word 'cherish' and we all give up easily. the real meaning of a r/s is then lost, over time.
sometimes i wish you will be there like what you use to be, supporting my soul. today, who am i?
water retention
for those who feels they may need to lose fats, please remember; it could be water retention.
they usually accumulate on cheeks (don't think of it as face fats), legs, tight.
reasons being: late nights, stress, too much salt intake (rubbish which you may ate), alcohol which probably malfunctioning your kidney to 'sort out' the salt levels in your body, irregular meals which causes irregular hormones.
whatever it is, you can google it.
take care.
for those who feels they may need to lose fats, please remember; it could be water retention.
they usually accumulate on cheeks (don't think of it as face fats), legs, tight.
reasons being: late nights, stress, too much salt intake (rubbish which you may ate), alcohol which probably malfunctioning your kidney to 'sort out' the salt levels in your body, irregular meals which causes irregular hormones.
whatever it is, you can google it.
take care.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
perfect lies.
from that moment when you thought your lies were perfect, it has crushed everything.
nothing about you was worth value for, just because you didn't value any
form of relationship at the start, much less the honesty & respect of friendship at
the basis.
one day if your heart feels torn apart, remember me; the pain you gave.
this song is for you - from me.
Falling a thousand feet per second, you still take me by surprise
I just know we can't be over, I can see it in your eyes
Making every kind of silence, takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?
Making every kind of silence, it takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I wrong
I know that I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?
When you're caught in a lie and you've got nothing to hide
When you've got nowhere to run and you've got nothing inside
It tears right through me, you thought that you knew me
You thought that you knew
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my, just myself
Just myself, myself, just myself
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
from that moment when you thought your lies were perfect, it has crushed everything.
nothing about you was worth value for, just because you didn't value any
form of relationship at the start, much less the honesty & respect of friendship at
the basis.
one day if your heart feels torn apart, remember me; the pain you gave.
this song is for you - from me.
Falling a thousand feet per second, you still take me by surprise
I just know we can't be over, I can see it in your eyes
Making every kind of silence, takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?
Making every kind of silence, it takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I wrong
I know that I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?
When you're caught in a lie and you've got nothing to hide
When you've got nowhere to run and you've got nothing inside
It tears right through me, you thought that you knew me
You thought that you knew
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my, just myself
Just myself, myself, just myself
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
let lyrics speaks for itself, let the song brings out how you feel.
with a beer, the liveband played this song...
and till today, i often woke up with haunted dreams, which makes my heart - ache.
who says the longer it is, the less painful? it's not always the case.
I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like is was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
After all this time
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
And I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me dies when I let you go
with a beer, the liveband played this song...
and till today, i often woke up with haunted dreams, which makes my heart - ache.
who says the longer it is, the less painful? it's not always the case.
I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like is was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
After all this time
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
And I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me dies when I let you go
Thursday, October 21, 2010
why do i always forget the fact that people do change?
the other day was just another fucking emo day.
i kept feeling slow, each day i try to push myself to move faster to achieve my goal.
and you know your success should be in time to come.
let time reveal values, character and beliefs.
sometimes it just happen to me all all the time...
the other day was just another fucking emo day.
i kept feeling slow, each day i try to push myself to move faster to achieve my goal.
and you know your success should be in time to come.
let time reveal values, character and beliefs.
sometimes it just happen to me all all the time...
Monday, October 18, 2010
Thursday, October 07, 2010
想念。童年
the song 稻香 brings back memories no doubt; surprises in the car boot (presents for you), those walks, those rainy days.
at the same time, it makes me feel like a child.
we always wanted to grow up when we were younger, now you hope you can be like a child.
sometimes you may wonder how love happen.
sometimes you ponder how did it end? like why? hur hur.
someone who was once like your soulmate, for many years... you couldn't believe how it could have happen.
have you wonder how everything may end in whatever r/s you have with someone today?
like they said, it felt like someone died. it indeed felt that way.
but imagine how i coould have felt losing so many of the ones i love and love me - overnight, and not just the one and only whom i love most before?
the kind of kinship which you built with the many people over time.
how could people totally understand that?
for love to last, you just gotta keep falling in love over and over again despite time.
how many times have we fallen in love?
twice, in 6 years.
i miss you, the very authentic and real you.
where have you been?
the song 稻香 brings back memories no doubt; surprises in the car boot (presents for you), those walks, those rainy days.
at the same time, it makes me feel like a child.
we always wanted to grow up when we were younger, now you hope you can be like a child.
sometimes you may wonder how love happen.
sometimes you ponder how did it end? like why? hur hur.
someone who was once like your soulmate, for many years... you couldn't believe how it could have happen.
have you wonder how everything may end in whatever r/s you have with someone today?
like they said, it felt like someone died. it indeed felt that way.
but imagine how i coould have felt losing so many of the ones i love and love me - overnight, and not just the one and only whom i love most before?
the kind of kinship which you built with the many people over time.
how could people totally understand that?
for love to last, you just gotta keep falling in love over and over again despite time.
how many times have we fallen in love?
twice, in 6 years.
i miss you, the very authentic and real you.
where have you been?
Monday, October 04, 2010
path
sometimes you wonder about when this road will end
sometimes you wonder when will all these happiness end, one day
i wondered through my most felt blissful times when i was much younger, where i have all the ones who loved me.
how often, how many. cherish what's "love through time"?
how many cherish the many path we've walked, and through the darkest point of our life?
some of us can only mourn for the lost of our love, despite years.
those who tried to forget, never really do.
sometimes you really hope that those who grew up with you, could really be truthful and standby you always.
but, they never really do.
we all thought so.
sometimes you wonder about when this road will end
sometimes you wonder when will all these happiness end, one day
i wondered through my most felt blissful times when i was much younger, where i have all the ones who loved me.
how often, how many. cherish what's "love through time"?
how many cherish the many path we've walked, and through the darkest point of our life?
some of us can only mourn for the lost of our love, despite years.
those who tried to forget, never really do.
sometimes you really hope that those who grew up with you, could really be truthful and standby you always.
but, they never really do.
we all thought so.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
shit stirrer.
for this post, i am not agitated.
i'm as rationale and as calm as i am.
but let me name you "asshole".
for some reason, this fake profile of U is created.
if you're so fucking free to stalk on others life and creating this fake account and label me as "andrew", extracting all sorts of old photos of the past. then, i think you're really fucking free.
for the photos you've extracted, it's not in any of my album.
you're a close suspect of the clique with the ladies you know, hence it doesn't really bother me.
you are definitely out of my friends list, and you do not really know who our mutual friends were.
you're someone close to her, and even remember/know quotes she used long before.
you probably have a psychotic split personality which probably have some kind of grudges inside you, with either of us.
your motive:
- to stir hatred or a more in depth misunderstanding between people
- to make others hate me (to make others think i am the fucking free man to do sucha stuff)
- instilling hatred in the ones and family members who were once dear and close to my heart
you're just trying to make things ugly, and wish to laugh and watch whatever that may happen.
whoever you are, you're simply too free.
please go and do something better at your free time, and fuck off.
you've been shortlisted by me, and i probably know who you are.
too free? carry on.
i can't be bothered by your request.
your plan to make me feel what you want me to feel, has failed terribly.
i've stopped feeling anything.
just too bad. haha.
for this post, i am not agitated.
i'm as rationale and as calm as i am.
but let me name you "asshole".
for some reason, this fake profile of U is created.
if you're so fucking free to stalk on others life and creating this fake account and label me as "andrew", extracting all sorts of old photos of the past. then, i think you're really fucking free.
for the photos you've extracted, it's not in any of my album.
you're a close suspect of the clique with the ladies you know, hence it doesn't really bother me.
you are definitely out of my friends list, and you do not really know who our mutual friends were.
you're someone close to her, and even remember/know quotes she used long before.
you probably have a psychotic split personality which probably have some kind of grudges inside you, with either of us.
your motive:
- to stir hatred or a more in depth misunderstanding between people
- to make others hate me (to make others think i am the fucking free man to do sucha stuff)
- instilling hatred in the ones and family members who were once dear and close to my heart
you're just trying to make things ugly, and wish to laugh and watch whatever that may happen.
whoever you are, you're simply too free.
please go and do something better at your free time, and fuck off.
you've been shortlisted by me, and i probably know who you are.
too free? carry on.
i can't be bothered by your request.
your plan to make me feel what you want me to feel, has failed terribly.
i've stopped feeling anything.
just too bad. haha.
Monday, September 20, 2010
走进走出
suddenly i've got this very positive feeling towards what's gonna be ahead in life.
we're all in our prime years, so it's critical to add value to yourself, and keep exploring more into the meaning of life and the world.
freedom is the key to success.
god has his plans for your fate. he will bring the best to you - someday.
well, i still believe a real r/s is when you've found your opposite gender best friend (he/she will see the best of you and the ugliest of you), all your past with somebody is revealed/shared through time with him/her through endless talks and then accepted.
a very honest and true r/s.
i guess, that will make you and the r/s very much valuable.
the perception of people moving on from one r/s to another (psychologically - they explained that people who are love dependent/ afraid of loneliness, would do so to forget all that is in the past/ to fulfill what they want as of tentative) has gradually lose the real meaning of r/s with people.
it'll somehow end, someday again.
the real time line to forget or have a vague memories of the past/people will take about 2-3 years exactly for all wounds to be healed.
they actually care; they run, they always run away from life, forgetting to really overcome their feelings/ emotions by themselves and face who they really are.
"if the world turns bad, even if the world can be the ugliest. you must not be one of them, carry on and be good, be who you really are."
i was inspired by my doctor who told me this.
time's not up, still too early.
what comes around, goes around.
suddenly i've got this very positive feeling towards what's gonna be ahead in life.
we're all in our prime years, so it's critical to add value to yourself, and keep exploring more into the meaning of life and the world.
freedom is the key to success.
god has his plans for your fate. he will bring the best to you - someday.
well, i still believe a real r/s is when you've found your opposite gender best friend (he/she will see the best of you and the ugliest of you), all your past with somebody is revealed/shared through time with him/her through endless talks and then accepted.
a very honest and true r/s.
i guess, that will make you and the r/s very much valuable.
the perception of people moving on from one r/s to another (psychologically - they explained that people who are love dependent/ afraid of loneliness, would do so to forget all that is in the past/ to fulfill what they want as of tentative) has gradually lose the real meaning of r/s with people.
it'll somehow end, someday again.
the real time line to forget or have a vague memories of the past/people will take about 2-3 years exactly for all wounds to be healed.
they actually care; they run, they always run away from life, forgetting to really overcome their feelings/ emotions by themselves and face who they really are.
"if the world turns bad, even if the world can be the ugliest. you must not be one of them, carry on and be good, be who you really are."
i was inspired by my doctor who told me this.
time's not up, still too early.
what comes around, goes around.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
leave.
they always say, if you left something
don't try to bring anything along
it's not gonna be the same.
and i was taught/told not to touch anything that you considered yours, nothing mutual as you may regard.
so, don't do what you preached.
you formed a new life, leave what's behind - behind.
you made the decision, the choice for your fate - your destination.
that's what everyone does, don't you see?
they don't try mingling, nor duplicate actions/words of the past.
"i never like to use sweet words to make you happy, if it's not from my heart. i'll probably say things to make you lose faith and feel disappointed. so, were you up for the test of time, and how much you remember about love?
i always believe (myself) in whatever i choose to commit my time/effort in. only time, will my actions speaks for itself, making you happy - a life time." - soulmate
they always say, if you left something
don't try to bring anything along
it's not gonna be the same.
and i was taught/told not to touch anything that you considered yours, nothing mutual as you may regard.
so, don't do what you preached.
you formed a new life, leave what's behind - behind.
you made the decision, the choice for your fate - your destination.
that's what everyone does, don't you see?
they don't try mingling, nor duplicate actions/words of the past.
"i never like to use sweet words to make you happy, if it's not from my heart. i'll probably say things to make you lose faith and feel disappointed. so, were you up for the test of time, and how much you remember about love?
i always believe (myself) in whatever i choose to commit my time/effort in. only time, will my actions speaks for itself, making you happy - a life time." - soulmate
Sunday, September 12, 2010
感情vs爱情
有人说不管时间过了多久
没了爱情... 感情总还是有吧?
人.. 真的会怀念感情吗?
你是否还记得.. 一段感情/爱情纯真的美好?
ha.. 真可笑...
回忆.. 总是在脑海里..
清晰.. 可见...
but well.. I guess this article (extract) which I came across, explains why.
"If a person has an experience that is physically, mentally or emotionally traumatic, the mind deals with the situation in one of several different ways. Some people abuse alcohol, food, drugs or other substances to numb the feelings they have inside. Others mourn for a short period of time, restore their faith, balance and sanity, and somehow miraculously move on.
But the rest of us left over, usually those who are very analytical and logical, have trouble processing deeply troubling situations. So, we replay the painful situation over and over again in our minds, searching for an answer. But the problem is, the answer cannot be found in the rational mind, because the problem is on an emotional plain. Therefore, the solution has to come from the heart, which needs to be healed and restored."
how you wish sometimes you could be less logical and analytical.
"we live in a world of lies & many hidden truth; what was real became surreal, what's dream became a fantasy. Humans forgo guilt/conscience/kinships/friendships which we learn since young & over the years, to move on. At the start, it's always "He/She/I'm so glad/ thank god to have met you..!" The end states, "no one is worth that sympathy nor apology". Much less, the basic respect for the relationships built."
有人说不管时间过了多久
没了爱情... 感情总还是有吧?
人.. 真的会怀念感情吗?
你是否还记得.. 一段感情/爱情纯真的美好?
ha.. 真可笑...
回忆.. 总是在脑海里..
清晰.. 可见...
but well.. I guess this article (extract) which I came across, explains why.
"If a person has an experience that is physically, mentally or emotionally traumatic, the mind deals with the situation in one of several different ways. Some people abuse alcohol, food, drugs or other substances to numb the feelings they have inside. Others mourn for a short period of time, restore their faith, balance and sanity, and somehow miraculously move on.
But the rest of us left over, usually those who are very analytical and logical, have trouble processing deeply troubling situations. So, we replay the painful situation over and over again in our minds, searching for an answer. But the problem is, the answer cannot be found in the rational mind, because the problem is on an emotional plain. Therefore, the solution has to come from the heart, which needs to be healed and restored."
how you wish sometimes you could be less logical and analytical.
"we live in a world of lies & many hidden truth; what was real became surreal, what's dream became a fantasy. Humans forgo guilt/conscience/kinships/friendships which we learn since young & over the years, to move on. At the start, it's always "He/She/I'm so glad/ thank god to have met you..!" The end states, "no one is worth that sympathy nor apology". Much less, the basic respect for the relationships built."
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
unriddle
for some reasons, perhaps the many things in life will stay a riddle.
for some, what they lost are never the wealth nor luxuries in life,
but someone who really loves them and took very much effort to take care of them with heart.
something most valuable, and only till one day will you understand the depth of - true love.
"if you love someone, set them free. if they don't come back, they probably refused to ask for directions and got lost."
for some reasons, perhaps the many things in life will stay a riddle.
for some, what they lost are never the wealth nor luxuries in life,
but someone who really loves them and took very much effort to take care of them with heart.
something most valuable, and only till one day will you understand the depth of - true love.
"if you love someone, set them free. if they don't come back, they probably refused to ask for directions and got lost."
Sunday, August 29, 2010
my first ever video on YOUTUBE.
Basic Military Talk Episode 07
well, the only episode that needs a soldier to wear CV I guess?
good and bad criticism are no doubt inevitable.
if you do really notice my speech when i was in uniform? i was really quite nervous because all my bosses are watching me filming.
5 minutes of fame took me about 4 hours of filming? from pre-filming preparation till the end.
who says medic got no 6 pacs? i didn't strip for you to see only.
Zzz. -.-
Hope you all enjoy the entertaining video.
Find it weird to see myself on a video though. =S
Basic Military Talk Episode 07
well, the only episode that needs a soldier to wear CV I guess?
good and bad criticism are no doubt inevitable.
if you do really notice my speech when i was in uniform? i was really quite nervous because all my bosses are watching me filming.
5 minutes of fame took me about 4 hours of filming? from pre-filming preparation till the end.
who says medic got no 6 pacs? i didn't strip for you to see only.
Zzz. -.-
Hope you all enjoy the entertaining video.
Find it weird to see myself on a video though. =S
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
1 Story, 2 Share
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.
By Stephanie Halmilton
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.
By Stephanie Halmilton
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
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